The Premise: A Man has the Urge to have Sex without Commitment.
The Deal Breaker:
Woman 1: I only consent for money or love (most prostitutes).
Woman 2: I only consent for love ( this could be through marriage only or the equivalent, a committed relationship).
Woman 3: I only consent for money (typically, very hardened prostitutes).
Woman 4: I only consent for attention/fun (deep down, this type actually craves love and wants to consent only for love, but she mistakenly believes that attention will compensate for love).
Man 1 “Mr. Fairness”: I will pay a woman to be able to sleep with her so she gets something to satisfy her and so do I. I am only comfortable if she is comfortable, and she is not demeaned nor exploited in this transaction — it is fair to her.
Man 2 “Mr. Entitlement”: I will pay a woman to have my way with her. Mr. Entitlement has the ‘decency’ to realize the she should get paid, but is indifferent to the woman’s overall well being. For him, he is a paying customer and he is entitled to service. *Note: Some Mr.Entitlements despise the fact they have to pay — why can’t women just serve our sexual needs for free!
Man 3 “The Predator”: I will use physical force to take a woman (against her will) to get sex. Zero empathy.
Man 4 “The Wholesome Man”: I would never just sleep with a woman for sex only and then just leave her once I satisfied my urge. She is not an object to use, she is human with feelings like my mother, sisters, aunts, etc. *He grew up with love and/or strong moral structure. She is someones daughter, wife, mother, etc. He has empathy for women.*
Man 5 “The Wholesome Client”: I will pay her for her time, and do whatever she is comfortable with. If she is inclined and the feelings are right, I would love to commit to her (because I want love and commitment above all). I respect her as a human being and would never want to make her feel neglected. But If she only desires a business arrangement and she is not open to love, then I will politely remain as a loving client.
Man 6: “The Monster” – I will neither pay her nor love her. But since women wont accept that, I will promise her love and protection so she will give me her body. The naive women, who have a poor concept of love (usually Daddy issue’s), are the easiest to dupe with the “I love you” trick. Finesse them hoes! *The Monster then ‘high-fives’ his fellow soulless comrades in online forums, or he gets reassurance in his beloved ‘rap’ beats that glorify the exploitation of women.* This “Monster” type of man is very dangerous for women, because they appear charming and are often are very gifted in manipulation (ie: knowing exactly how to make a woman trust them).
*PS: Yes, women can be manipulators too — read until the end..
The Big Question – Why?
What makes some women only want money when dealing with men? What makes some men use violence against women? What makes some men have great respect and admiration for women?
The Answer: Circumstances (Society, Upbringing, Influences)
A great quote I once heard was, “Different cultures produce different kinds of people.” (Wade Davis). This was in reference to an indigenous Amazonian tribe whose cultural values instilled people to protect Mother Nature. This was compared to the cultural values of the West, where perpetual growth and consumerism teach one to indirectly harm/destroy Mother Nature.
Imagine a culture where the family structure is strong, community is strong, the cultural music is about unity, love and wholesome masculinity/femininity — the cultural values are about “we”, thriftiness, kindness, discipline, gratitude — young children grew up on wholesome proverbs/wisdom from their elders — what sort of person does this produce?
Imagine a culture where young teens are influenced to hate themselves for whom they are, whom are told to focus on “I” instead of “we”, whom are given zero or contradicting guidance on life and how to be a man/woman, whom are told their body parts need to be altered, whom are told their worth is their accumulation of material objects, whom are told that the opposite sex is to be feared and doubted (ie: feminism & misogyny), whom are told they must fend for themselves and the only means of survival/belonging is chasing money — if you’re a woman, your value is in your body parts and that’s how men have been told to value you — if you’re a man, your value in how much money you have and you’re subjected to endless sexual imagery to weaken your ambition to nothing — what sort of person does this produce?
Many societal influences, in the West, are intentionally aimed at destruction of the soul, destruction of the family and unity as a whole. We have men and women who are pitted against each other — so what is the result when men cannot trust women, and vice versa? What happens in a hyper-sexualized society when women are reduced to body parts and men are taught to view women as just our bodies? What happens when pious men and women are told to keep searching for something “better” than what they already have? This is a breeding ground for hate, apathy, narcissism, sociopathy.
Laila, The One Who Cheats Men
When I meet people with a heartless mentality, I wonder: how did they become that way? Even I need to reflect on myself, because I have made many mistakes. I once knew a woman who viewed ALL men as the same: to her they were Womanizers, Cheaters, Liars. Ironically, she was also an escort. She became heartless to the extent that she would deceive and manipulate all men she encountered for money. She placed all her worth in her appearance. By doing so, she reaffirmed her belief that all men wanted to use her because she essentially attracted the same type of men. **Ladies, when you invest only into your appearance, you will attract the worst kind of men with the sole intention to sleep with you and discard you** So how did she become this way? She once broke down and poured her heart out to me. I learnt that she had been severely hurt, exploited and neglected by false love — she had been duped by a “Monster” (Man #6). She was once an innocent girl, whom only wanted love, and then she became depressed and suicidal, and she was convinced that all men were like the “Monster.” And thus, she reacted by believing her value was only in her body parts. After that, she attracted men who only wanted her body — once or twice and that’s it. They used her, so she used them — that was her motto. I knew she was hurting, deep down, for being used as an object, but she could not stop objectifying herself. She was convinced that she needed more plastic surgery or sexy photos to find the love she deeply craved deep down — in fact, by doing so, she was pushing herself further away from wholesome love. Nevertheless I understood why she was hurting, because I know the feeling of neglect. All escorts come from some form of neglect. The difference between her and I was that we simply reacted in a different way. I realized that not all men are the same — different types of men existed. Decent men exist, men who valued women for their inner beauty above all. I made a conscious effort to stay away from men who exhibited shallow values. Unfortunately, it is not always easy to tell who is genuine or not, as soulless men and women often wear a cloak of ‘charm’ to entice their prey.
The point of Laila’s story is to highlight how she became heartless because she, herself, was hurt, exploited and used. Ironic — the same rule can be applied to heartless men: society & circumstances can turn people to become heartless and apathetic.
Finally, this is a great video for women who have been neglected — from an Islamic perspective, it reiterates the point on why women resort to objectifying themselves when they are deprived of wholesome love.
To My Readers, both Men and Women: Which one are you? What is your Stance?