Tag Archives: Sex workers

One-sided Love: When a Client Falls for an Escort

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The first client to profess serious love for me in terms of getting married was about 9 years ago. Let’s call him James. This took place when I lived overseas. Back then, I was a very young lady who did not fully understand how critical matters of the heart were. I had met this client James once, and then unknowingly I made such an impression that he very quickly became a frequent and generous regular client. He was very easy going, kind hearted and generous — so I quickly began to enjoy his company as a client. Since he came to see me so frequently, I eventually became comfortable to go out with him publicly. We started going to dinners and theatrical shows together. To me, James was just a client and a lovely guy who’s company was joyful — but nothing more. But for him, it was much more. I was young and oblivious, however, to his intentions. It did not occur to me until later that he was spoiling me with the hopes of winning my heart.

During this time, I had also met my ex-fiance as a client. My ex, however, was someone I truly felt connected too — and very quickly we became a couple and then started living together. Once my ex and I started living together, I cut off all non-business communication with James. And very quickly, I decided to abruptly end business relations with him too. I was occupied with my ex, so I felt seeing James was too much time and effort. It was at this point, I was shocked to discover the hurt I, unknowingly, inflicted upon James — James had the idea that I was growing closer to him and we would settle together. He started showing up at my home or at the brothel I worked at, waiting for me. I was startled and shocked, because I had zero feelings for him and only considered him like any other client –the only exception was that I was closer to him as a client because I saw him so frequently. James had the best of intentions, but he mistook my kindness for something serious, which made him panic when I suddenly dropped him. It was my fault for failing to outline my intentions towards him. Looking back in retrospect, I should have taken cues of his desire for me — and moreover, I should have stated early on how I was not interested in anything beyond a client-escort relationship. But again, I was young and knew nothing about matters of the heart, so I was innocently unaware. This was a huge learning lesson for me, and a lesson I still have to apply until today: make your intentions clear from early on, and never play with someone’s heart. 

This example with James occurred when I was very young. I had no intention to mislead someone or play with their emotions whatsoever — it is my biggest fear until today to exploit someone’s heart. I have made mistakes and caused pain indeed. But I, too, know the pain of deception, so it would burn my heart to intentionally cheat someone. I was simply oblivious at my early days of escorting on how to deal with clients who became attached or fell in love.

And then the story of my ex-fiance and I — again, I was young and naive while I was with him. I did love him, but I was not sure of what I wanted through out our relationship. I was scared to settle down so young with him, and for this reason, I tried to leave him numerous times early on in our relationship. Out of love, I felt it was unfair to stay with him when my heart was not sure of what it wanted. But anytime I expressed my desire to leave him, I saw his eyes and felt like a Mother abandoning her child. This was my first true relation, so I did not know the rules or the consequences of love. Fast forward two years, I ended up leaving him. I was unsure of what I wanted throughout our entire relationship — I was poisoned with thoughts of the ‘grass being greener’ while with him. He dreamt of marriage and family, and I killed that dream for him. It was all unintentional. Only years later, once I faced rejection myself, I realized how dangerous love is when there is no structure or morality to guide it.

Now, the examples above shows how being oblivious and ignorant are part of being young. It is hoped that one will eventually learn empathy (the ability to consider the emotions of others) which distinguishes them from childhood into adulthood. Sadly, some people have no sense of empathy — they kill souls and feel no remorse. But others learn through trial and error. I had to be the neglecter and be neglected myself to learn the valuable lesson of empathy in love: don’t play with someones heart, don’t use someone, don’t make empty promises and more importantly, be clear with your intentions. 


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And so, there have been subsequent clients among the years who have expressed a one-sided admiration for me. And out of deep fear of hurting their dear hearts and inflicting them with pain that can be lethal, I have to hurt them with honesty…

Tonight, a client just left my home. He is reading this, as I felt comfortable to tell him about my blog. He is an all-round lovely, young man. Tonight, before he came to see me, he sent me two writing pieces he made about me. I read them. He wrote about me in the tone of love and admiration. But instead of feeling flattered, I felt concerned for his heart. Rather than applaud his efforts, I crushed his heart with the harsh tone of my bluntness: “I don’t feel the same.” He claims he has fallen in love — he wants to express it in all ways. Just moments ago, he sends me a photo of a cardboard cup that sits in the cupholder of his car. It was the cup I drank last week, filled with tea. The cup has a pink lipstick mark, my lipstick. He keeps the lipstick stained cup in his car as a memorabilia of me. And in his writings, he writes about how my scent stays with him after he leaves my home. He must have read those ‘scent’ posts on my blog, and he must think I feel the same way. Am I supposed to feel flattered? No, my dear. I am sad for you. Sad for the situation. I know my honesty hurts, and I don’t want to hurt you —  but honesty is my duty.

After learning from my past mistakes years ago, I have since become very blunt when I get an inkling that someone has feelings for me. Sometimes, regular clients confuse an escorts’ kindness for a deep, intimate connection. It is important for anyone to be true with their intentions with another –after all, one’s character is defined in how they treat others

So I said to him tonight, as I have numerous times in past meetings….”I don’t feel the same, I am not in love with you nor will I ever be.” This must confuse him, as my behavior with him seems otherwise. I understand his confusion. Yes, I can genuinely enjoy someones companionship, but that does not mean I desire them.

What worries me the most, and causes me to be more harsh, is his sense of hope for “us.” In his writings, he wrote his hope to eventually “win my heart.” So once again, I have to crush his hopes again and again, being firm and harsh — when will he understand? I tell him he must stop seeing me. Now, I feel bad for accepting his generosity. How can I feel comfortable taking his kind gestures when it means I am leading him to eventual heart ache? But I told early on, I have been honest. Yet he says I own his heart now — and I shout “I never asked for it!”

As an escort, I must be blunt, I cannot pretend to love a client to line my own pockets — that is heartless and apathetic.  I tell him that he has no choice but to accept the fact that I have no feelings for him outside a business relationship. And that doesn’t mean he is unworthy — not at all. He is too young to understand that sometimes unrequited love or losing someone is a blessing in disguise. I fear that he does not make this realization, but instead blames himself. It is not him who is lacking at all — he must learn a lesson that many need to learn: chemistry is not a choice. There is no such thing as one not being ‘good enough’ — no. There are reasons why people come together and why they part — it requires immense patience to see the spiritual importance of why people come into our lives, who remains and who departs.

I cannot exploit his heart. I cannot exploit his generosity to benefit myself without thinking of how this affects him. No. I have seen the abuse of love and its consequences. I have seen how love is falsely proclaimed when it’s simply a ploy for one’s selfish gain. I have seen suicide resulting from false promises of love. So much dishonesty masquerades with the label of ‘love’ and so many broken souls who once dreamed. This is the result of a society with no structure or morality  — I learnt the lesson long ago, do not play with hearts.

Final Remarks:

Despite I used the term ‘love’ in this post and past posts of mine, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as wholesome love without structure/guidance. I wrongly assumed that I experienced ‘true’ love in the past — but I no longer believe that was love. Perhaps at best, it was just a glimpse of love. There is no love unless it’s given the correct conduct that it deserves — love is a serious responsibility, not a toy to play with. But sadly, today, love is treated as something so casual, something to play with and discard once ‘bored’ — and alhamdulilah for Islam, because Islam makes awareness of the societal ills that result from the falsehood of unrestricted love. As a Muslim, I finally see how love is only granted when one follows the guidelines of Allah swt. Islam recognizes how love, when outside the responsibility of marriage, is often misused and leads to social chaos (fitna). For this reason, Islam prohibits the relations between men and women outside of marriage  — after all, sex without responsibility renders people being exploited, used, heartbroken or deceived (all things which Islam seeks to protect one from).

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Prostitution: Elitism & Why I Despise the “Man in a Business Suit.”

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Like many young minds, I once believed the stereotypes that were socialized into my little mind from a young age. Back then, I had no idea that the debauched images, ideas and discourses from the mass media would vastly influence me to have a narrow outlook on life. When I started prostitution, I had a naive sense that wealthy-looking men were the ideal clients. It was not only clients, but I had a naive admiration of the ‘prestigious’ and ‘elite.’ Only later, I realized that the most ‘prestigious’ people are actually quite poor, poor in they have not acquired any compassion or true beauty (ihsan). Very quickly I learned that wealth does not necessarily imply a persons inner qualities. True wealth and beauty are not material or physical, true wealth is in the heart. With clients, I realized the loveliest men are those whom are humble, easy-going and unscathed by the poison of Western-Liberal values. My ex and the Sheik, among others, are the best examples of such men.

Years ago, fresh to the sex industry, I remember an older prostitute who put us younger escorts into perspective. While all of us were chatting together, a newbie escort announced, “I only want to see clients with business suits!” Shortly after, a well-dress client entered, wearing a business suit and carrying a polished leather briefcase. The older prostitute joked, “Don’t get too excited girls. He might be jobless, going for an interview.” In other words, the older prostitute was trying to say that a ‘business suit’ doesn’t really mean anything — it doesn’t mean he will be a worthy client. She was right. A lovely, generous, warm-hearted client can exist in any form, any ethnicity, and any social class — and more importantly, in any type of clothing.

As mentioned in previous posts, some of the most generous clients I have had are those who do not actively showcase their wealth. As well, even regular working or middle-class men can also be generous and lovely. I was once naive enough to believe that a man dressed sharply in a posh business suit was the ideal client. But now, after all these years, I find the business suit quite unappealing. It’s not the actual clothes I despise, but I despise the VALUES associated with the business suit. The ‘business suit’ is symbolic of modern capitalism; It’s the image of condoning unequal profit, greed, competition, exploitation, egotism, ignoring the metaphysical — and even worse, this mentality and it’s associated values are PRAISED and embraced in the West, and increasingly being praised in non-Western societies. Sadly, so many people are seduced by these material values, which they consider important and worthy. This reminds me of a quote from the book, “Tuesday’s With Morrie,” below:

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It’s also very sad to see so-called Muslims exhibit and condone these traits of business ‘professional’ ethics, which is completely the antithesis of Islam:

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Now, of course, not all men who wear suits are the heartless, soulless persons with no values that I am depicting. And equally, not all businesses have inhumane objectives. Of course not. The business suit has become a norm, and indeed some whom wear it do not subscribe to the values it currently symbolizes. Some have to wear this business attire out of conformity, or expectation, but it does not define who they are. Here lies the importance of not judging on first appearances. We all wear facades and labels, but the trueness of individual is much deeper.

I, too, portray myself in ways that can be misleading. I advertise myself under all the terms of “elite,” “high-class,” “upscale,” “exclusive.” These terms could easily signify that I’m arrogant, pretentious, shallow, etc. These terms have very vague meanings, yet I only use them to market myself accordingly to the norms of escorting world. Sadly, the terms ‘elite’ and ‘high-class’ are the accepted descriptors for prostitutes who are allegedly physically beautiful, clean, well-mannered and can provide good service. If I don’t use these words, then clients might assume I’m the opposite of those qualities. It’s ironic. Subscribing to the term ‘elite’ does not make me a better lover, nor does it make me better person. In essence, good companionship and good sex HAS no class, no discriminant.

Like many odd reasons, our society embraces this notion of being “exclusive” — excluding others, and being only available to eligible persons. This makes me feel sad. I wish I didn’t have to use these arrogant terms for myself when advertising. However, although I would love to be more inclusive with whom I see,  I have to be exclusive when advertising. The unfortunate reality is that there are many “bad” seeds of clientele that exist in the escorting world. If I am too inclusive, then I make myself vulnerable to danger, undesirables, the heartless, etc. I do not like to give the impression that I’m “exclusive” in an arrogant way. I’m only “exclusive” to protect myself from the ills of the sex industry. In essence, I welcome decent, kind, warm-hearted men from ALL social statures so long they can pay for my services. I see that many “high-class” escorts misuse their imagined status — they develop an ego. Some escorts mistakenly assume that being ‘elite’ makes them better, and also believe that ‘elite’ men implies better clients. I made this mistake too, but very quickly realized I was wrong in my assumption. Judging clients on their heart and intentions is much more wise than judging on their level of material prestige. But one only learns with experience…

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Questions and Answers # 6 – Escorts, the Sex Industry, Pleasure, Sexuality

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1. How Do Prostitutes Please men? What Skills do Prostitutes have to please men? What are sexual techniques of prostitutes?

In my own experience, clients use their skills on me. For the most part, I never had to use any particular ‘skill’ to please them.

I have found questions like these circulating quite often. Since “how do prostitutes please men” is often being asked, then it is apparent there is a huge misconception with the sex industry. This idea that prostitutes are ‘skilled’ in sex is heavily misleading. Generally, it doesn’t require special sexual skill to be a prostitute, even an elite one. Prostitutes do not necessarily use special sexual techniques to entertain clients. Surely, escorts learn over the years about certain desires and become more confident, but it does not mean they require exceptional physical ‘skills’ necessarily. Opening ones legs, or bending over is not really a ‘special’ skill that’s unlike any other conventional sexual script.

As a courtesan, I do not actually have specific ‘skills’ or techniques that I strategically use on my clients. Rather, most of my clients derive their pleasure from pleasing me. They meet me. They see my body. They are besotted by my overall presence. My erotic appeal is, at first, visual….it’s my smile, my eyes, my body language. Otherwise, I do not perform any special sexual manoeuvres to seduce them. I just act myself in the moment, and we go with the flow. Most of the time, clients are already turned on (erect) by just meeting, seeing, talking, or touching the lady of their choosing.

When I first started this job, I really had little knowledge or experience with sex. When clients would meet me, they would be immensely aroused by just looking at me. My beauty, demeanour, and personality ignited their flames. I had no idea, back then, on how to act with clients. My experience is slightly biased, though, because of my body type. My body and the way I conduct myself, somehow, evokes submissiveness in many clients. I have a very womanly body, with very large breasts. Most clients want to, as some say, ‘worship,’ my body. Generally, kissing and caressing my body arouses them, so by the time we have sex, they are ready to explode. And when sweet men kiss and caress my body, with love and care, I am often very receptive to their touch and enjoy the embrace. So in actuality, it is clients who perform their skills on me, initially.

When I connect with certain clients of mine, it’s not so much the acts of sex, but rather the overall connection (the conversation, the caresses, the touches, the comfort). This is unique to every encounter, as it plays out differently with different clients.

The alluring part of seeing prostitutes is the overall setting — the fact there is no social pressures, obligations or expectations. A man can feel more at ease with a prostitute for a variety of reasons. She might be more sexually confident in how she conducts herself, or perhaps open-minded or explorational. Or just the fact she is attractive might be satisfying enough.

Unlike myself, many escorts are not welcoming of pleasure. A lot of the sex that occurs between prostitutes and clients is mechanical, and very ’empty.’ This is due to the reality that most sex workers in a contemporary context are not selling themselves for personal pleasure, but rather purely for financial needs. In such cases, the sex that occurs is often conventional, and not outlandish or strikingly ‘exotic’ as one may think. Clients can still cum even when there is no connection established. On the other hand, the minority of escorts, like myself, who do enjoy aspects of their job, might utilize mental and intellectual skills to connect with clients. The sex becomes special, not because of physical acts, but because of the connection established. As I say numerous times on my blog, amazing sex is based on chemistry of two bodies (a rather spiritual bond that cannot be learned, nor forced through ‘skill.’).

2. How to Behave like a High-Class Prostitute?

I stress the importance of being yourself. There are, unfortunately, some expectations associated with being a high-class prostitute, such as dressing a certain way, or mimicking the ‘elite.’ But honestly, one can still be a high-end prostitute and avoid these things. Some men care about fancy lingerie, while others don’t care at all. Some care about being polished, while others aren’t focused on such details. In essence, no matter how one behaves, an escort can NEVER appeal to all. If one is trying to manipulate their behavior, in order to achieve some sort of  ‘ideal’ or ‘perfect’ persona, they are setting themselves up for disappointment. Yes, even the most beautiful woman (by societies commercialized standards) can be unappealing for certain men, as there is so much variety in attraction.

3. Is it wrong to do sex with an Escort?

It’s ‘wrong’ if you internalize the idea of it being wrong. The mass shame associated with sexuality and sexual expression has a history, which the French philosopher Michel Foucault shows in “A History of Sexuality” is a modern European phenomenon, that emerged in the late  19th Century pertaining to the European obsession with trying to ‘scientifically’ define sex. The remains of these constructed ideas still exist — in social attitudes, in laws, etc. If you understand the history of sexuality, then you will likely understand why many people feel there is ‘shame’ with certain sexualities, sex acts or perhaps an ‘excess’ of it.

Bare in mind that prostitutes/courtesans have existed in other times and places where they were celebrated and held important status in certain societies. The contexts were vastly different than today. The ills of sex work today are related to the current social, political and economic context.

If you sleep with an escort, and you show her respect by being considerate, polite, treating her as an equal and paying her for her time,then how can it be wrong? But if you treat her like unjustly and insignificant, then yes…you are causing harm to another human soul.

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4. How do Escorts Stay Lubricated? How Does a Prostitute Get Wet?

We use lubrication gels or liquids, and apply them internally before seeing clients. When I first started this work, an older lady (a former prostitute) told a group of sex-workers and I a ‘wise’ technique. She said, “Lubricate yourself before you start the appointment rather than during the appointment. Try to give clients the illusion that you’re naturally wet, rather than letting him the know the reality that we’re not actually turned on.” I have always maintained this technique, but other escorts might apply the lube in front of the client.

Getting a woman aroused, or wet, is psychological; it requires genuine desire and arousal — and it’s impossible for a prostitute to feel genuine arousal with all of her clients. I get aroused in stances where I feel genuine attraction with someone I desire — and I am extremely picky in my attraction to others. Some of my clients I enjoy in sex, so in such cases I can bypass lubricants with them.

5. Do Sex Workers have Perfect Bodies?

This question really bothers me, because there is no such thing as one type of perfect body. Sadly, many people live in consumer, capitalistic societies where they are manipulated into believing that a shallow perfection exists. Thus, such manipulation makes one believe they are flawed and need to ‘improve’ themselves. What is perfection? Perfection, as with beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, subjective — there is no one type, or ‘ideal’ for all. This is the case in escorting, because what is ‘perfect’ for one client vastly differs from another. There are escorts of all shapes and sizes. Don’t fall for these tactics of believing in a perfect body type or look.

6: Do Escorts Prefer Rich Men?

I have wanted to address this question for a long time, because there is a stereotype of prostitutes willing to have sex with any man who offers them money. Some are more/less discerning than others. There is also an assumption that prostitutes strongly prefer wealthy men. My own personal preferences may differ from other escorts, because I prefer quality over quantity.  As a courtesan, I see clients very discerningly and sparingly. I am very picky with whom I see as clients, because I want to meet men whom I can potentially enjoy.  Thus, I choose men who I think will be a positive experience — regardless of social status. Wealth doesn’t imply decency, respect, pleasure, or even generosity. My brothel experiences, however, saw more variety of clients, less discerningly.

Indeed, escorts do love men whom are generous. But over the years, I have learnt that generosity does not mean one is necessarily rich or wealthy. I have met generous men from all social statures. Just because someone has a fancy job and wears fancy clothing does not mean he will be a good client, good at sex, or have a good heart, etc. Some clients may offer lots of money, yet at the compromise of an escorts comfort-level or dignity. When I lived overseas in a bigger city, there was a very tragic abundance of wealthy business men, who offered HUGE sums of money to high-class escorts to ‘party’ with them. By ‘party’ I am referring to doing drugs. Sadly, many escorts are lured to these clients because of the big pay-out. But is large sums of money worth the terrible, soul-less atmosphere? I try my best to avoid these type of clients. But sadly, many escorts do not. I feel sad when I see women chase certain wealthy men, whom have rather ‘soul-less’ attitudes and values. The money is not worth the degradation and consequences that follow. Indeed, not all wealthy clients are soul-less, as there are some wealthy clients whom, thankfully, retain humbleness.

I absolutely loath arrogant and chauvinist types (men who boast about their successes and money). I don’t care how much money is offered, my comfort is always first. For instance, I got a email the other day from a man who claimed to be a “wealthy business man.” I’m well aware of so-called ‘charming’ clients, so I rolled my eyes whilst reading his email. I have met lovely generous and/or wealthy men who do NOT need to boast about their financial success, so I am very skeptical about arrogant types. Anyway, this man had offered me a large sum of money for a multi-hour appointment. To top off his arrogance, he had to mention that he would be driving his self-claimed ‘luxury’ car. After I finished reading his email, I shook my head in dismay. Does he really think I am that stupid and shallow? Considering he’s that superficial, he will most likely be judging me on the same superficial basis. I could only imagine how uncomfortable I’d be with such an arrogant person. I wanted to email him back and give him a piece of my mind: “I am not interested in your money or car. I am not a senseless woman who is easily swayed by someone who’s only quality is his money!” But instead, I just ignored the email.

I have also had decent clients who have wanted to get more personal, and they made generous offers. But I was not comfortable with seeing them outside, such as dinners, outings or traveling. So I declined. Again, I don’t care how much money is offered, I will not go past my comfort level.

Looks can be misleading, so I learnt to not judge by first appearances. I will never forget one of my sweetest clients. It was in a brothel. When I first saw him, I felt scared. He was an extremely tall and broad man, with a very stern and hard looking face, and dressed in rugged, working-class attire — he looked like he would snap me in half. But as soon as we entered the bedroom, I heard his voice. He was a soft, gentle, sweet man. His intimidating appearance was softened instantly. He turned out to be extremely gifted in giving pleasure. He also gave me very generous tips after every appointment, which initially I found to be shocking because he looked rather rugged! There have been many others like him, where I misjudged upon first appearance, only to be later impressed by their kindness and generosity afterwards. Likewise, a client could be well-dressed, wearing expensive designer items, boasting of their successes, and voila, they turn out to be cheap. You can afford a Mercedes, and yet you are asking a prostitute for a discount?

Overall, great clients cannot be defined by their money. I have always liked humble men, who have kind hearts and good intentions, which comes in all walks of life. What saddens me is that escorts can be cruel themselves. When I was working in a brothel, I observed it was common for escorts to be rude to ‘unattractive’ or socially nervous clients. These were men who were  kind and sweet, yet because they appeared ‘uncool’ or timid they were treated cruelly by some escorts. I try my best not to judge clients on initial appearances, but rather judge by how they treat me. A genuinely warm heart and kind soul makes someone attractive in my eyes. So in essence, there is good and bad in all people, in all walks of life.

My Sheik is not from a wealthy Saudi family. I mistakenly assumed he was a wealthy Saudi, because he has always been extremely generous with me, starting from the first day we met. In reality, however, he is simply blessed with a highly skilled profession and education, accompanied by a very handsome salary. But he has no familial support. I used to wonder why he is extremely loving, devoted, and generous with me. Thanks to him, almost 3 years of my life have been eased by his sweetness. Despite all that he’s given, he never put conditions upon me. Instead, he let me control him, in an affectionate way. I have realized that those who have less often appreciate the value of something more than those whom have everything. My Sheik is so humble, which is why I love him so much. Blessed is his beautiful heart.

7: How would married men (who see escorts) feel if their wives slept with other men?

I was surprised to see this question. It’s funny, because I’ve often toyed this question with my own married clients: “How would you feel if your wife was sleeping with another man?” And funny enough, most of them said, “I wouldn’t accept it.”

8: Do Escorts Prefer Good Looking Men?

Looks are subjective. Personality is key. A beautiful personality can make everything beautiful — the way he talks, the way he touches, etc. A man who is only physically handsome isn’t really meaningful (in my personal view).

9. How to Drop a Fetish and Enjoy Normal Sex?

One should be cautious about the term ‘normal,’ which is why I always put quotations around this word. Norms are socially and culturally constructed, and thus norms mean different things in differing contexts. I was shocked to see this question, and then felt sad for whomever asked it. It’s so tragic that mainstream ideas of sex are so limiting, and that certain desires are categorized outside of the realm of ‘normal.’

Anything considered ‘normal/abnormal’ is simply a construction of a particular society. Norms change, and norms often reflect the interests of state power. Contemporary political elites promote what they constructed as ‘normal’ sex in a ‘normal’ relationship simply because they were/are concerned with reproduction — reproducing their workforce, their armies — which thereby sustains their power.  This is why ‘other’ sexualities are often stigmatized and/or condemned (via state/national campaigns), because any ‘uncontrolled’ relations that do not result in maintaining state power are seen as threatening. Thus, various discourses arise trying to convince populations to follow the ‘norm.’

Building off the work of Foucault, cultural anthropologist Gayle Rubin (1984) wrote the history about how sex ‘norms’ were categorized into ‘norms’ in the late 19th century by European medical professionals. Constructing these norms, of course, correlated with state political agendas — regulating the sexual lives of populations to maintain state interests. These sex ‘norm’ categorizations are widely critiqued and dismissed by academics now, yet sadly these sex ‘norms’ discourses still exist in mainstream society.  

In the chart below, Rubin illustrates what was constructed as ‘normal’ and ‘abnormal’ sex by Western medical professionals in the late 19th century. The acts in the inner circle are were deemed ‘normal,’ whilst the acts on the periphery were ‘abnormal’ acts. This mode of thinking is problematic on so many levels, making many false assumptions on sexuality. Tragically, these Victorian sexual norms prevailed as the West spread their dominance globally, and sadly many people still adhere to this discourse:

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What’s tragic is when people internalize this construction of what is ‘normal’ and therefore associate shame with anything ‘out of the norm.’ In reality, there has always been a diversity of sexual desires, and sexuality has been defined in vast different ways in other social and cultural contexts. One should be cautious of viewing certain things in strictly binary terms (good/bad, normal/abnormal, hetero/homo, etc).

Rather than drop a ‘fetish’, it’s better to find a partner who will embrace your desires. Erase this idea of ‘proper’ ways of having sex, because in reality there is are many ways of enjoying pleasure.

10. How Fast do Men Cum/Ejaculate with Escorts?

Clients are usually quite excited when meeting an escort, so most do not last long in sex. In some cases, men come even before the sex happens, just through touching. It’s common for clients to last under a minute. Some clients are embarrassed of cumming fast, and many try to last longer (fearing the escort will judge his performance). I cannot recall how many times clients have apologized to me for ejaculating quickly.

A lot of clients who cum fast try to compensate for their briefness in sex, so they spend a lot of time giving the woman pleasure beforehand. This has been my experience at least. I am sure many clients don’t care if they come fast, and don’t care what the escort thinks of their performance. But in my own experience, I find most of my clients (especially regular clients) want to perform good for me. They want to prolong the pleasure, so they spend time teasing me.

I’d imagine the whole idea of seeing an escort is exciting and arousing, so it’s not surprising when men release fast. They are usually instantly hard before we even start touching, and they get excited from just feeling my body.

11. How to Make a Prostitute Hornier?

Well firstly, be mindful if a prostitute has expressed an interest in exploring her sexuality with you. She might not be willing. What if she’s not really interested in sex? What if she’s not attracted to you?  One cannot force someone to get aroused.

Every woman is different in her sexual expression and desires, so it’s impossible to say what makes a prostitute, generally, horny. Bare in mind that many prostitutes are not very welcoming when clients try to get too intimate. In my case, I’m in the minority of prostitutes who does embrace pleasure with clients. For me, I am quite responsive to clients who are extremely respectful and make me feel completely relaxed. If they genuinely enjoy to massage and caress my whole body, in a way that makes me feel relaxed, then I usually feel somewhat turned on. On the other hand, I’m easily turned off by clients who assume they know what they are doing in sex and foreplay, in an arrogant manner. I’ve discussed this with other escorts too, and we agree that ‘demanding’ or overly confident clients are really annoying. For instance, I had a client who was fond of my breasts. He grabbed my boobs and played with them, but his touch was really rough (usually most men are very gentle). It was tolerable, so I let him do it, because he seemed really enjoy it. Whilst he was fondling me, he kept saying “You like it, don’t you…feel’s good, doesn’t it?” I actually found it really funny, and I just played along. After he came, he asked me if I enjoyed his fondling of my breasts. I wanted to laugh. He was terrible. He didn’t turn me on at all. He was far too rough, and he didn’t even have the decency of asking what I like. Since he was quite arrogant, I told him I wasn’t impressed. Thankfully, most clients are not like him. Lovely men are usually gentle and slow to start, and they take direction from the woman, observe her responses, and respect her level of comfort.

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Answering Your Questions #3: Client and Escort Dynamics

I’m on a minor path of self-destruction…but I’ll explain that later. For now, I’ve decided to answer some of the numerous questions or key-words that my viewer’s google to locate my blog. Yet before I begin, I want to share some metaphors from an old film about the life of a high-class courtesan, “Pakeezah” (which translates to ‘pure heart’). In reference to herself, the courtesan says, “Prostitutes are dead bodies and the market is the graveyard…. I’m a dead body that’s lured by life again and again.” She then compared herself to a kite, a kite that is slowly cut away by the forces of wind…where only bits and fragments remain. The pain of her words….they touch me, intimately.

 

1. Do prostitutes like sex or money?

Money drives us to this job. As mentioned in previous posts, prostitutes should not be assumed to be a woman who loves sex. And if she does love sex, this does not imply that she loves sex with all of her clients. Many escorts do not derive any personal sexual pleasure at all with clients. Only a very tiny minority of escorts, like myself, enjoy intimacy with their clients. But overall, for prostitutes, the lure of money is the appealing part of our work, not the sex. It is very important to note selling one’s body was not a ‘choice’ for most sex workers, when considering the limited amounts of choice available to people in marginalized positions.

For many sex workers, sex is the dreadful part (not in my case, but most escorts I observed aren’t quite as open sexually as I am). Many just want to get it over with as quickly as possible. A small minority of girls can enjoy particular clients and feel pleasure (as a courtesan, I do enjoy certain clients of mine as companions and sexual partners), yet again: the focus is money. I certainly have enjoyed some clients, but regardless I will not sleep/mingle with a man that I don’t love for free. The idea that prostitutes are these horny, ‘hyper-sexual’ women hardly depicts the reality. I wish more prostitutes enjoyed their work as I am often able to do, but the reality is most women doing this job are driven by real or perceived economic disparity. Women who are in touch with their sexuality (ie: horny) exist regardless of profession.

 

2. What information should an escort obtain from her client?

Just like us, most clients want to be discreet. They might use fake names, because they are married and don’t want to risk their identity being known. Anonymity is central to the business for both escorts and clients. Asking too much personal information may defer clientele, while others are happily to disclose their life biographies. I screen my clients by judging their telephone/email etiquette — I ask them to briefly tell me about their age, nationality, what intentions they for me, etc.

 

3. Why don’t escorts like to tell their real name?

We fear of associating our identity with our profession. Why? This might impact our social mobility, social relationships (such as their family and friends finding out). Prostitution, whether legal or illegal, is still stigmatized. Society has harsh, negative consequences for women who are known to be prostitutes, so we are forced to remain secretive (otherwise we risk a lot of negative social sanctions).

 

4. How to Please a Prostitute/ How to have Good Sex with an Escort?

Well, in a bitter way, I could say: don’t be demanding, and don’t annoy her. Many girls complain about clients who don’t follow our ‘rules’ (or limits), such as touching places without permission. Pleasure is a very subjective question. Giving pleasure to a ‘normal’ woman is very different than a woman who is paid for sex. And to complicate the situation even more, everyone’s desires are different. A woman who gets paid for sex may not want to be ‘pleased’ by her client. Some girls strictly just want money from their client, and refuse to get sexual pleasure (and the good ones fake it). However, a small minority of us might be more accepting. The best clients are men who do not expect and are respectful.

Many of my clients are very polite and respectful men, which makes me feel comfortable to explore with them. I favor certain clients who have genuinely kind hearts, and I allow them to please me in ways that I may forbid others. I favor certain clients only because they gained my trust. I must mention that almost all clients try to give me pleasure, but certain men fail to understand the essence of pleasure. For one, some men seem to think that one sexual technique can apply to all women. This is completely wrong. Any sexual experience is very unique and cannot be performed in a uniform act. Bare in mind that all people have their own unique ways of reaching orgasm. And, unfortunately, there are women who are not interested in achieving their own orgasm . Most importantly, good sex depends on emotional and physical chemistry between the participants — chemistry is something that cannot be bought or created…it’s a rare beauty that just happens between two people. It’s best to test areas, slowly (with a willing partner, of course), and then gradually proceed.

If I must advise a client on ‘how to have a better experience with an escort’ I would suggest the following techniques clients have done with me: start by giving her a relaxing massage. I recall clients who gave me a full body massage, without touching my erogenous regions right away. Not only will it relax a woman, but it can gain her trust of his touch. Let everything occur slowly, so that she can anticipated every progression of passion. The slow-pace seduction will drive her crazy, and thus (hopefully) have her wanting more. Some of my clients were totally selfless…not tending to their sexual needs, but instead focusing on making me feel relaxed (again, it’s important not to rush!). A good lover will explore what she likes, by gently trying to kiss various parts of her body. Let her guide you to what she likes. This worked with me with certain clients, but again, it was all based on chemistry. Be mindful that desires of an individual can also change depending on their mood.

Chemistry is key, but also the mood of the hired lady is a deal-breaker. I do let sweet clients give me pleasure when I’m in the ‘mood,’ yet sometimes I loathe the idea. Although most of my clients are kind, I am not genuinely attracted to all of them. Sometimes I avoid seeing certain clients, because I know they want to spend the entire appointment in a  “Girlfriend Experience” state. This consists a romantic ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ situation where the client wants to kiss, cuddle, give me pleasure, and have sex at the very end of the appointment. The men are very sweet, which seems ideal, but it can be exhausting acting like a ‘girlfriend’ to a man I don’t love/care about. Most of my regular clients are all pleasure giving men, which means I try to avoid seeing them when my mood is bad. It’s even more difficult to see clients when I’m in love with someone else. When I am single, I find it much easier to work and enjoy clients.

 

5. How to Make Clients/Men Love You (As an Escort)?

There are no uniform steps to make a client love you — it just happens naturally. From my observations, investing in ‘fake’ behavior doesn’t reap benefits, nor does it attract wholesome people. Be yourself. Love is something we cannot plan or predict. It just happens. I’ve tried experiments of altering my behavior with clients (from acting overly slutty to acting innocent). I found that being as I am works best. I’ve tried to analyze the men who love me: why do they love me? They love me because I was ‘real’ with them. The trend I noticed is men who loved me are ones I didn’t care to impress. I acted indifferent with them upon initial meetings….and genuinely had little interest in being with them. Maybe my independence is appealing for some men, …they find it challenging that I, seemingly, don’t need them.

I could advise women to be manicured, polished and glamourous to make clients love them, but I’ve seen very unpolished girls with plenty of admirers. I no longer believe that investing heavily into cosmetic/external beauty will equate to admirers (sure, exterior beauty might attract men, but that alone wont make them kneel at your feet).

 

6. What is the Difference between an Escort and High-class Escort?

There is no real difference. The only difference is the marketing and approaching various scales of clientele. One girl can be playing two roles: a regular escort, which means more clients, lower price; Or a high-class ‘exclusive’ escort, which means higher priced and limited clientele. Yet at the end of the day, a regular and exclusive escort are the same thing. Service, intimacy and beauty are subjective irrespective of whether an escort is ‘high-class’ or not. I’ve seen stunning women who work for two different agencies….one that’s exclusive and very expensive, and another that’s medium price range with more clientele. There is not a rigid boundary, as many ‘regular’ escorts can eventually establish themselves as courtesans with a more limited clientele. And vice versa, a courtesan is also susceptible to falling down the prostitute social hierarchy.

 

7. Do ‘hookers’ love having sex on drugs ?

I found this question quite strange. That’s a terribly wrong analysis. Firstly, women who work while on drugs  usually hate sex more than other sex workers. They are taking drugs to cope with the fact they hate servicing men. Even high-class escorts will resort to ‘numbing’ with subsistence’s in order to make money and ignore their hatred of servicing men.

 

8. What’s it like to be an escort?

(Please check my blog later, as I am writing a post on my personal ‘lifestyle’ as an escort).

 

9. What are Reasons (for men) visiting prostitutes?

A lot of my married clients have a similar reasoning for seeing me: they say they love their wives, but their wives no longer have sex. Or men claim they like variety. Due to social expectations, many men marry one woman as a foundation for family, but does it mean they limit the number of ‘unofficial’ women for their sexual purposes? Does marriage always translate into good sex? Some men openly say they desire ‘variety’ for sex, while others contend that it’s the fault of the wife. This is something I hear time and time again: Wives stop having sex, and assume that their husband should not have sex either. There are a multitude of reasons. Some men don’t just need sex, they want pleasurable sex, sex with emotion and a deep connection. Perhaps some men are unable to express their desires with others, so they hope to find sensual solace with a prostitute.

There are also other married men who get lots of sex from their wives (even good sex), but they like something ‘different.’ Perhaps they need to prove to themselves that they still have the power to be appealing? Perhaps their egos need a little inflating? Many academics argue that the Western construction of ‘Masculinity’ influences men to prove their so-called ‘manhood’ by sleeping with multiple women (as if women are to be conquered). It’s not so much out of their personal desire solely, but rather societal norms for ‘being a man’ indoctrinate some men to prove themselves as ‘manly.’ So, just in case you’re one of those women whom tell men to ‘act like a man’…you are influencing the discourse of men to behave in a ‘Masculine’ construct, thus aiding the gender binary construct. Constructions of identity are very powerful, as they create a so-called ideal. The current constructions of masculinity and femininity in a Western context are very harming, as they serve an elite status quo rather than a collectivist effort.

In some historical contexts, men resorted to ‘comfort women’ in scenarios where ‘proper’ women did not exist, such as situations of war and colonization (which still occurs today).

Some Single/bachelor clients have told me that sex with an escort is better and easier than trying to find it ‘for free’ at nightclubs. It’s easy for a man to pay a woman for sex rather than the effort of convincing a ‘normal woman’ to have sex with no-strings-attached.

As for another calibre of clients: some single clients are truly lonely, and have little interaction with women. They do not seek a prostitute for sex necessarily, but rather they desire intimate companionship with a woman. These are the type of men who need to be hugged, and cuddled, and in these instances I like to think of myself as a healer. Yet in reality I am not helping their situation, because they are seeking love while I am seeking money. I feel compelled to tell these lost souls that they are looking for love in the wrong places.

 

10. What are Some Tips to Stay Positive while being an Escort?

My only suggestion is to work as LESS as possible. Do not work everyday! Try to work once a week, or even less. The industry is very exhausting (emotionally), especially if that is your sole profession. Since I am in a committed arrangement (with the Sheik), I don’t really have to work. Thankfully. Lately, I work only once a week, or sometimes even less (sometimes I don’t work for months.) Yet even working minimally I am still affected by the ills of living a secret, socially condemned life. Having sex for money is not a problem, but being a prostitute is difficult because of the implications in modern society (stigma, criminalization, being deprived of the ‘privileges’ associated with heteronormativity). For years I tried  to make the job easier for myself. I told myself I wouldn’t let the work affect my emotions, or touch my soul. But it’s not easy all the time.  I work less, so I can stabilize my emotions and do happy things, such as being with people I love. One can simply not block out emotions without using something, usually intoxicants, to distract them from reality. Nobody, regardless of their profession, can constantly remain happy….life is about happiness and sadness. We must experience these emotions, so we can (hopefully) reflect on our lives.

 

11. Do prostitutes remember their strangest clients ?

Yes! How can I forget the men who licked my underarms; or the man who booked me for 8 hours just to worship/lick my feet, hands, and bottom for the entire 8 hours without any sex; ….or the guy who used to pay to massage me the entire appointment and never even take off his clothes.

When a group of escorts come together we do discuss the ‘strange’ and ‘weird’ clients — which can often be quite funny. A lot of girls like to laugh about the ‘fetish’ clients they had, such as, “The foot guy,” “The bottom licker,” etc. For the most part, I don’t mind men with ‘strange’ fetishes, and I try to understand their unconventional fixations. It’s tragic that certain sexual acts are even referred to as ‘strange,’ which indirectly says that some sexual acts are more performed than others. In sex, there should be variety of desired acts, so nothing should be considered ‘strange.’ Personally, I enjoy men who have ‘fetishes.’ After all, being too ‘vanilla’ gets quite boring.

 

12. How Much Money Do Escorts Make?

It really depends on the girl. Essentially, when one has the ability to manipulate and numb/ignore emotions the amount of money is limitless. Unfortunately, as humans it’s very difficult to ignore our emotions all the time. The two factors that lead to money are: charm (in the form of personality, beauty, and skills) and secondly, emotional sensitivity. I  consider myself quite charming in the sense I am skilled, beautiful and have a dynamic personality, yet I am very emotionally sensitive. Therefore, I don’t work often because I find too many clients stressful and overwhelming. The clients are lovely often, but putting on a facade and being affectionate to someone I don’t love is quite, surprisingly, exhausting for me. I have never worked full-time as an escort, because I need other things to do in life. I am motivated to make money for saving, paying bills, and doing some shopping, but I do not seek more. In the past, I made more money when my needs were greater, but I also spent it lavishly since my lifestyle was different than it is today.  If I wanted, I could work harder and see more clients, but a full-time lifestyle as an escort seems like suicide to me. Balance is key.

 

13. What if a Prostitute sees a Client in Public (outside her work) ?

This has happened to me numerous times. I used to have a huge social phobia about running into clients outside of work. I feared, because clients may approach me, or call me by my alias. And my fears were confirmed when prior clients of mine have approached me in public! I even saw a client while I was shopping with my Mother…it was extremely nerve-racking. I don’t want my clients to know the ‘real’ me that exists in day-to-day life. I just want to remain their fantasy, and nothing else. I had another client shopping with his wife and kids. He saw me looking totally different, wearing no makeup. He came back to see me, and said he was so excited to see me while he was with his wife. This is another reasons why I don’t want to meet too many new clients — I don’t want to be known. Clients represent a separate world that I don’t want to mix with my personal life.

 

14. Is it Unhealthy to Sleep with an Escort? Is it safe to have sex with a Prostitute?

All escorts use PROTECTION with their clients. Some girls will do more than others when seduced by money, but for sex we all use condoms. Only an insane/desperate woman would have sex without a condom; and equally only an insane man would sleep with an escort without a condom. It’s absolutely unheard of high-class escorts having unprotected sex with their clients. However, if a client and an escort become more intimate and personal, the dynamics can change. Some of my regular clients, whom I’ve known for years, have asked if we can try without a condom. They trust me, I suppose. But I decline, and say no. Overall, most escorts are extremely health conscious. However, risks of STI’s can be contracted from non-penetrative acts as well.

The women who take more risks are doing it to meet the demands of clients — because for many clients oral-sex with condoms and no kissing is quite boring. Sadly, some escorts perform the highly sought ‘bare-back blow-job’ (fellatio without a condom) to get more clients. What these women don’t realize is that they are getting short term gain (money) for long-term risk (diseases). As for the bulk of escorts, we take minimal risks: we use a condom for sex and oral sex. Therefore, it is no more/less unhealthy to sleep with an escort if she uses protection during all sex acts.

Given there is minimal skin-to-skin contact, sleeping with a high-class escort can be a bit “unfulfilling” from a client’s perspective. I use the word “unfulfilling” because sex with a prostitute is often physical without true intimacy. Amazing sex is based on mind and body stimulation. Thus, sex between a client/prostitute lacks the essential stimulation of the mind. After all, how exhilarating and delicious can sex be without deep kissing, touching, sucking, and tasting ?  Those ‘delicious’ acts are risky with clients, yet many clients demand this. They want the closest to ‘real’ sex as possible. They want their escort to act like their girlfriend: they want to eat her pussy, kiss her lips, and feel her mouth over his manhood. There is tremendous pressure for escorts to go beyond safe limits to make her clients happy. Many clients prefer cheaper women, because it is assumed that cheaper women do ‘more’ for ‘less’ (thus, the risk is increased). These men miss the essence of pleasurable sex, because pleasure is based on connection (not how much or how little one is willing to do). There are also very high priced escorts who ‘do it all’ to a more limited clientele. This places tremendous pressure on women in the industry: how easy is it for a woman to maintain her safety, comfortability and be successful?

 

15: Do prostitutes have rules / restrictions?

Yes, clients play by our rules, not theirs. Yet there is an irony to that statement. Most escorts promote themselves as women who “Cater to the Clients Needs,” but in reality we set the boundaries and limits. Every girl is unique to what she offers in terms of her services. We all offer sex, but we do it in different ways. For instance, limits/restrictions might include: no kissing or light kissing only, clients can release multiple times or maybe only once, no oral sex without a condom, no receiving of oral sex, no touching between her legs, etc. My restrictions are that everything is ‘covered,’ which means I take no risks. I do not passionately kiss clients easily, but I must admit that I’ve given up many limitations with the occasional handsome, delicious client — or favoured regulars. For instance, when I met the Sheik, as a client, we ended up kissing passionately — of course, our chemistry was rare and intense.

As mention, a majority of clients demand riskier services (oral sex without protection, ‘greek,’ etc), so unfortunately a lot of escorts will jeopardize their health to make more money. I feel disgusted when a prospective client, who’s never met me yet, will ask if perform ‘natural French’ which is a oral sex without a condom. How can he take such a risk with a woman whose history is unknown? Likewise, most clients request to service me between my legs with their mouths, which seems flattering, but I can’t help but wonder: don’t clients think of how many other men have touched my body?  How can he be sure that I am ‘clean?’ What I realized is that many men get aroused by the idea of a ‘dirty’ woman. By no means am I ‘dirty,’ but I have slept with countless men….and that fact alone is a fantasy for some men.

Sex workers might advertise ‘passionate’ services or ‘porn-star’ services to attract a more clientele, but the reality is we cannot perform uniform techniques with every single client we encounter. Human sexuality is not uniform, and attempting uniformity is a bad way at approaching others. Sure, we have restrictions, but they are deeply influenced by the chemistry we develop with clients. To expect a sex worker to give a stellar performance with every client is a very unrealistic, dehumanizing expectation.

Finally, a rare breed of clients have their own terms in addition to hers. For instance, a rare category of clients do not seek sexual intercourse with escorts — instead they may just seek oral or hand release, or perhaps they just want to play with themselves in the company of a beautiful woman. There may be norms and patterns in sexual behaviour, but every experience is still unique.

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The Myth of a “Loose” Woman

Well, what is the term loose? Webster dictionary defines loose as: not tight-fitting; not dense, close, or compact in structure or arrangement; lacking moral restraint (unchaste), etc.

Thanks to the diffusion of oppressive Victorian notions of sexuality, many societies today view prostitutes and women with multiple sex partners as  “loose” women. “Loose” in this context has a negative meaning. It signifies that a woman is morally de-valued, because of her ‘loose’ morals and ‘loose’ vagina. The misconception is that her vagina is less tight because she has frequent sex — and in this narrow mentality, a woman’s sexuality supposedly determines her inner qualities. Of course, this concept of being ‘loose’ has no validity at all, but rather is the outcome of hegemonic discourses aiming at maintaining gender inequality. These stereotypes of “loose” women are constructions that serve a political agenda — in this discourse, a woman’s sexuality is a threat to the institutionalized norms of patriarchy. But in reality, a woman’s vagina size does not get bigger as a result of frequent sex with multiple men. The only way a woman’s vaginal canal size increases is, perhaps, by delivering a child vaginally.

When I first entered the sex industry, I thought frequent sex with random men would damage my sexual organs. Essentially, I thought I would become ‘loose.’ This really worried me, until I realized my assumption was incorrect. In fact, exploring my sexuality made me physically ‘tensed’ by way of orgasm. My job as a prostitute exposes me to multiple men, and this variety allows me to explore a diversity of sexuality with some talented men. These talented men made me orgasm in various ways. An orgasm requires contraction of kegal muscles, which can make the vagina more tense (tight). My ex, for instance, always made me orgasm, multiple times. I could have sex with him after seeing multiple clients; rather than being ‘loose,’ having lots of sex actually made me physically tensed, or tightened. An orgasmic vagina usually tightens, especially during climax.

I should also define the main two types of sex that women encounter: sex based on equality (where her orgasm is equally essential for pleasure as his), and unequal sex (the kind of sex that is akin to most porn, where the woman does not actually orgasm). A woman who orgasms often, and knows her body well, has sex for her own pleasure. She cannot be satisfied without an orgasm. On the other hand, there are women who have sex without even knowing about their own body or it’s pleasure potential. To compound further, these women may have a partner who also has no idea (nor interest) about the female orgasm.  A woman who doesn’t orgasm isn’t strengthening her muscles the way an orgasmic woman does. So while a sexually passive woman may not be “loose,” she doesn’t become ‘tensed’ when excited as she has not made much use of her vaginal muscles. A lot of men and women don’t realize this — so calling a woman ‘loose’ for having too much sex is actually incorrect. In fact, men who have experience with orgasmic women are well aware of this beauty — a woman who orgasms makes the sex extremely euphoric, passionate and addicting.

My theory is that women who have frequent orgasms through sexual activities enable a ‘snugness,’ which is due to frequent use of kegal muscles. However, valuing a woman based on the ‘tightness’ of her vagina is very shallow. If one thinks good sex is based purely on physical components (ie: size of vagina), then they have a poor comprehension of what brings great sexual pleasure. If anything, people with overtly superficial expectations on others probably have the worst sex. Any wise person knows that physical components are only one fraction of numerous other inner qualities that contribute to beautiful pleasure. Sadly, there is a tragic abundance of ignorant people who believe physical shapes and sizes are essential to desire — without realizing, many people with narrow mentalities actually limit their access to true pleasure/intimacy. Women come in all different shapes and sizes, as do men. There is a “fit” for everyone, which is linked by chemistry more so than the physical aspect.


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