A few commenters on this blog have misunderstood my writings, because they assumed my blog was blaming clients for my mishaps. I will clarify it here: clients are not the problem in the modern context of prostitution. Certainly there are some ‘bad’ clients and third-party affiliates (brothel owners, managers, agents, etc) with exploitative tendencies, but equally there are some ‘bad’ escorts too. Individuals, alone, can be problematic indeed, but they are the not the sole cause behind the negative implications of the sex-industry. Prostitution has manifested itself in a multitude of ways in various places and contexts – it hasn’t always been a degraded phenomenon as it is depicted in modern societies today. Anyway…
Sometimes, I wonder about the lives and circumstances of my clients. I can only imagine how seeing an escort is a gamble when a client is, perhaps, seeking a true connection. Many women who sell themselves are not looking for genuine pleasure, but rather see the experience as a task. Other women might be more open to exploring sexualities, yet that does not mean chemistry can be established with every client. In this post, I am curious about clients who are seeking a real connection with a woman. What is their experience? Is it easy to establish a good connection with an escort? And is it easy to establish good sexual chemistry? In my recent years, as a courtesan, I encounter many clients seeking more than just a physical act – they want passion, or perhaps they want to express desires that are considered ‘taboo’ in mainstream society, and overall they want to me enjoy it too.
As mentioned in the previous post, I tend to see clients who seek a deep connection. Do I connect with them all? Of course not. They are looking for someone where they can establish good sexual chemistry, companionship and conversation. If such a client is married, then it’s my recollection that he, perhaps, rarely got the sexual openness and ‘spark’ with his own wife. And for single clients, perhaps they have never been in love, perhaps they are timid to share their desires, or they are recovering from a former love? The diversity of intentions for going to see a prostitute fascinate me.
One of my regular clients feels we have a strong connection. Indeed I feel comfortable with him, and do enjoy seeing him. But the feeling is still unequal. He claims he’s in love, but I say, “That’s not a good idea.” I like him as client certainly, as he’s a lovely man, but nothing more. But I admit, I think about his circumstances. Often, during appointments, I ask him about his life. I try to understand how he behaves the way he does – which is caring and sweet. When he started to profess his love for me, I told him, “I think you should go see another escort.” Instead, he claims, thus far, that he has no desire to see another girl. He said he detests meaningless sex – that is, sex without any emotion. He said his satisfaction is when he see’s me being satisfied. I understand his attraction – he likes me because he knows I am enjoying it too. It is egalitarian sex, which makes one-sided sex seem mundane.This client of mine, however, is married. I asked him, like many other attached men, why he see’s me: why cheat? Why not please his wife?
It turned out, his marriage, as he claims, was not founded on geniune love and intimacy. He loves his wife. But the love he described was not intense-sexual-love-chemistry. I asked him, like others, very intimate questions, such as, “Does your wife masturbate? Does she initiate sex? Does she always cum? Is she open minded?” The answers were not surprising.
This married client of mine has experience true love before he got married, with another woman. But sadly, he told me he lost her. He said she died in an accident. He told me that he never forgot their passion. I felt deeply sorry for him, because it seemed the love of his past still lingers. This client makes me wonder to myself: do I ignite the old flame that once burned in his heart for his former true love? Or perhaps he finds me, as a prostitute, more open with my sexuality? Is there something about familiarity that makes us feel comfortable and nostalgic?
For my viewers, I am curious to know what draws you to escorts? And how does the experience make you feel after? And for escorts, what do your clients tend to seek from you?