Tag Archives: Diary of a Prostitute

Screening Clients as an Escort – The Red Flags

An escorts’ contact details are public, which means anyone can contact her — anyone (the good, the bad and the ugly). This is why screening potential clients is crucial for an escorts safety and well-being — to sift the gems from the dirt.

An escort should always speak to a potential client on the phone first. I will not respond to a text message from someone I haven’t met before. I ignore all text messages (if you cannot call me from a verifiable phone number, then that’s a red flag in itself). Private numbers should be rejected. All internet-generated phone calls from throwaway phone numbers should be rejected too.

Decent clients are straight forward and easy going when booking an appointment with an escort for the first time. Decent clients are respectful, polite, and ask only a few relevant questions (whilst remaining professional).

Indecent clients (stingy, disrespectful, creepy, exploitative, abusive clients) will give off subtle characteristics when speaking on the phone. Sometimes it’s not so easy to tell that the caller is indecent or a time waster — an indecent man may speak well and be affluent. Likewise, there could be a caller who speaks less refined or has a “village” accent who might be a very sweet and generous client. The following list below are some of my observations of who is a potential bad client or time waster.

Red Flags when Screening a Client:

In all of the following scenarios, the caller should be avoided and blocked.

  1. Arrogant – A caller who lets you know how “nice” he is or how “good looking” he is. This can also include sending you his selfie or “dick” pic, thinking it may entice the escort (newsflash, it doesn’t).

    Sometimes, a callers arrogance is hidden initially. Once, a man named Mr. J called me and he sounded very kind and polite over the phone. I gave him permission to text me since we already spoke on the phone — I allow texting only for the purpose of arranging an appointment. This client then started to ask personal questions, and then even stated how he is “endowed” and “good looking” —- that’s supposed to impress me how exactly?? For one, looks are highly SUBJECTIVE, and secondly, a larger penis with poor character does NOT translate to pleasure. Superficial qualities, alone, do not entice me at all. If anything, arrogance is a complete turn off (and red flag). Financial generosity, selflessness, and utmost respect are things that entice an escort. Superficial traits, in addition to those qualities, are a bonus . I wanted to tell Mr. J that, but as I will mention later, there is NO point to vent your annoyances to a stranger. Just dismiss and ignore.

    A good life lesson I have learn is that: a genuinely decent person never has to convince others that they are great (in order words, a person with substance does not brag or boast about themselves — decent folks are humble). On the other hand, an arrogant person will feel a need to boast about themselves (or what they have), which stems from low self-esteem, narcissism, and insecurity.

    An arrogant caller may also say they will give you a lot of money or make up some elaborate story about their wealth — but it’s only talk. A complete stranger making financial promises to someone he has never met is a farce. Never trust words, trust actions only.

  2. Asking for Discounts – A stingy client is most likely to be annoying, exploitative and disrespectful.

  3. A Time WasterContacting you for months/years on end periodically, and never booking. This type may enjoy wasting your time or have no intention to ever book. They are looking to talk/chat with someone for free. They will try to induce a personal conversation about other things unrelated to an appointment (ie: trying to get to “know you” before you even met). So once this pattern is detected, block

  4. Talking sexually – As mentioned, it is okay to ask a basic question that is conducted in a respectful manner. For instance, “What are your measurements?” “Do you allow *insert intimate act here*?” That is fine. But if the question goes anything beyond that, it is a red flag of a bad client. Asking personal sexual details and speaking sexually explicit is not acceptable. A called once asked me, “Tell me, what makes you cum? What turns you on?” Red flag — why would I want to share my sexual views with a man I have never met and who hasn’t paid me? I was firm and said, “I do not answer such questions, because I have never met you and my experience varies with each person.” He accepted my answer, and had the chance to redeem himself. But, instead, he tried to talk sexually explicit with me further. I blocked and deleted. Talking sexually to an escort when trying to book her shows blatant indecency and disrespect. Just because I sell my body you think it’s okay to talk sexually explicit to me? No. The aim of this type of caller is to “get off” for free by calling an escort — it’s simply pathetic and creepy.

  5. Asking endless questions and talking too much. It is certainly okay to ask a few questions, but the questions should be relevant, polite and professional. “Do you provide kissing?” If the questions are becoming sexual, then the person is likely wasting your time and trying to “get off” for free. A caller who is also asking very personal question is to be avoided. Asking, “Oh, you’re not free? Why? Is that because you have other clients already booked?” –that is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Never explain your personal things to a client whom you have never met. Dismiss them right away and block. A decent potential client will keep a phone call brief to arrange the appointment.

  6. Asking you to advertise yourself over the phone: An escort already has an advertisement that describes herself, so there is no need to “sell” yourself over the phone and “convince” a potential client to meet you (waste of your own energy and time). Cheap men are fussy and worried about spending their money on an escort and having a bad experience — whereas a decent client is less worried about giving his money to an escort.

  7. Asking for an extremely detailed session: (waste of time, weirdo, entitled).

  8. Calling you from an unclear line (meaning it’s from an internet phone number), or speaking on speakerphone or calling when around multiple people in the background).

  9. Calling you at odd hours of the day/night. If someone is calling you after midnight, it means they party or they think you party (ie: do drugs).

  10. Booking, then not showing up. The caller doesn’t have any sense of respect or courtesy towards you, which is a clear indication of whom they are as a person (rubbish).

  11. Asking for more photos or a video call. Again, an escort already has photos and a description, in her advertisement. Therefore you do not need to convince a potential client with by showing more photos — this caller is just wasting your time and trying to get free content from you.

  12. Asking for risky or degrading services. If anyone asks for uncovered sexual acts, or painful sexual acts to be performed on you, it’s a major red flag. This includes a caller asking if they can dominate you — usually it’s an abusive man masking their abusiveness with being “dominant” and seeking a “submissive” escort.

How to react to INDECENT MEN whom call you?

Sadly, the best solution is to do nothing at all. The main reason an escort should not react is because indecent men tend to be cowards and will take revenge in ways that can harm the escort. They are the ones who will join escort forums and bash the reputations of escorts. Just ignore them. Block them. Don’t react. Some men of the pathetic calibre are purposing harassing and targeting sex workers to invoke a reaction — it might even arouse them to hear you say, “Fuck off!” Secondly, it’s not even worth your time or energy to “educate” an indecent man on how to be decent — he will never understand what it means to be a respectful man (he doesn’t have the capacity to know what being decent entails).

It is also important to note that when an escort blocks an indecent caller, they may try to contact again from a new phone number. If anything seems off with a caller, listen to your gut and reject it. Some indecent men are manipulative with their speech and seek to charm, so an escort should always have her guard up.

To my fellow escorts: What are some red flag you’ve encountered? What are your tips to screen clients?

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Where Do Prostitutes Go for Comfort?

Clients come to prostitutes for a variety of reasons. Most come to escape the world, to get comfort, pleasure — to feel intimacy.

The Comfort of a Woman's Lap for a Man is a Haven

The heavenly comfort of resting on the lap of a nurturing woman…

 

Clients come to Comfort Women (prostitutes) to escape the harsh realities of daily life. For clients, prostitutes are appealing because we are (ideally) a soothing, pleasurable fantasy that men can retreat too at their convenience. For the most part, we dress up and act/behave our best while with clients.

For men whom have some money to spare, they have the option to pay for comfort with a prostitute. It is, for the most part, a one sided comfort that only benefits the client. And what about the prostitute? 

The reality is that most prostitutes do not have a healthy outlet to find comfort. Furthermore, most prostitutes do not derive pleasure/comfort from their encounters with clients. Most are, in fact, repulsed by intimacy with strange men (of course, they will conceal their displeasure). So for many years, I used to think about this: clients come to us for comfort, but..

Where do prostitutes go to escape the harsh realities of their lives?

The answer is: there is no safe haven or outlet that any prostitute can retreat too. As a result, most prostitutes escape and cope with life with very unhealthy habits: drugs, alcohol, excessive materialism, unhealthy relationships, seeking sexual attention from strangers to validate their self-worth. What prostitutes need is wholesome care/love. Wholesome love is the only thing that has the potential to soothe/comfort her (in the form of family, friends or spouse — and above all, spirituality (Allah, for me, as a Muslim). Love, however, is not something that can be purchased nor easily attained. Moreover, love can be something so strange and conflicting for a prostitute. It’s not easy to welcome love into one’s life or even give love when one comes from a traumatic past or is experiencing PTSD (something most prostitutes endure knowingly or not).

A Problem With No Solution

Society did not make a wholesome outlet nor alternative for prostitutes. Instead, we are silenced and often have no one to listen to us. Even if there was an outlet, we often fear to disclose our personal thoughts. We know society jokes about how “hoes” ain’t worthy of respect, we know society shuns us. We know that if we make one mistake, it will be thrown back into our face that we are simply just whores. In essence, we have no wholesome place to go for comfort. Love is the only outlet that can soothe us, yet ironically, a prostitute is very much a fool to hope or dream for love.

Sex as a Coping Mechanism?

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In my personal experience (which is definitely not the experience of most prostitutes), I also adopted unhealthy coping mechanisms. Physical intimacy, as one example, became my escape from the realities of life. Intimacy and passion seemed to make all the stresses of the world minimize. Although I stay away from drugs and alcohol, my erotic coping mechanisms were not much better. I had a very poor sense of discipline and limits. I am now understanding and applying the value of discipline. I have come to realize that an undisciplined life based off one’s desires/passions comes with negative consequences. Let’s not forget that many clients who seek to escape with prostitutes, for instance, are often married and thereby harming the well-being of their spouse. A brilliant quote has stuck with me as I grow older and am making more sense of the world:

“The exhaustion of the passions is the beginning of wisdom”

-Lost Horizon, 1937, James Hilton

 

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Bless The Hearts of Good Clients

A reader of mine is adamant that all men who see prostitutes are inherently bad. This is not true. I could never say all clients are X — there is too much diversity in clients. Not all clients want to just fuck a woman like an object and go ‘high-five’ their soulless peers after. Yes, there are a lot of soulless, perverted men who are clients of prostitutes. Yet there are also ones with genuine souls.

Good clients are ones who have empathy. They think about the well being of prostitutes. Rather than just take take take, they want to understand, give and act respectful. These are the clients who adore the escort they see, whom put her comfort and dignity above everything — who don’t just see her as a sexual object. Yes, some even literally bow at her feet in servitude. For me, I feel grateful I have known many kind-hearted clients who literally serviced me, and allowed me to escape and relax — they massaged me, they listened to me, they comforted me. So indeed, in some cases, the feeling of escapism can be mutual with clients.

Comfort-Massage

Traumatic events, by definition, overwhelm our ability to cope

-Susan Pease Banitt (The Trauma Toolkit)

Dear Prostitutes & Readers: What Comforts You? How do you Cope? What do you think could help you?

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Filed under Emotional Aspects Related to Escorting, The Escorting Business, Types of Clients

Why Prostitutes Do Not Trust

Many prostitutes are very hard-headed and guarded due to being hurt, exploited and having little-to-no wholesome care. Being guarded, acting with indifference, self-destructive behavior, and not trusting are some resulting defence mechanisms. A wise prostitute, however, knows that NOT all men are the same — both good and bad exist. Likewise, good and bad also exists in women.

How do we know the contents of anothers’ character and their intent? It’s not easy, but generally actions and patterns tell everything.

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Listen you dumb whore. You are unworthy of love and all the other blessings bestowed to people who don’t sell themselves.  You opened your legs for money, so you are nothing more than the dust beneath shoes. It is your fault you are in this situation. You are a lazy woman who chooses this life, and you are too lazy to work hard like everyone else! 

You come from a broken home? You’ve been exploited? You say you want out of this life? That’s a lie.  Moreover, that’s not an excuse to be a whore who does filthy things for money. That’s why you are NOT worthy of significance! You are a shameless, disgusting whore, and that is all you will ever be. Get out of my life and don’t ever talk to me. I don’t want a whore in my life.

*A giant boot stomps hard on a once vibrant flower, breaking its stems and leaves further.*

When the flower experiences this ambush of cruelty, she starts to wilt rapidly. The water that nourished her slowly dries up, and the harmful force of salt keeps destroying the roots of her being. 

I am sorry! I never meant those words! I don’t care that you are a prostitute or if you’ve had every man …you are the most pure thing that I have ever known! Please forgive me, I have changed! I realized how hurtful I was to you and those I care about.  I know this life has not been easy for you. I was wrong to say those things before. I lov-e…….

*

 


 

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