Category Archives: Types of Prostitutes

A Courtesan: A Curiosity of Clients Intentions

Flame

A few commenters on this blog have misunderstood my writings, because they assumed my blog was blaming clients for my mishaps. I will clarify it here: clients are not the problem in the modern context of prostitution. Certainly there are some ‘bad’ clients and third-party affiliates (brothel owners, managers, agents, etc) with exploitative tendencies, but equally there are some ‘bad’ escorts too. Individuals, alone, can be problematic indeed, but they are the not the sole cause behind the negative implications of the sex-industry. Prostitution has manifested itself in a multitude of ways in various places and contexts – it hasn’t always been a degraded phenomenon as it is depicted in modern societies today. Anyway…

Sometimes, I wonder about the lives and circumstances of my clients. I can only imagine how seeing an escort is a gamble when a client is, perhaps, seeking a true connection. Many women who sell themselves are not looking for genuine pleasure, but rather see the experience as a task. Other women might be more open to exploring sexualities, yet that does not mean chemistry can be established with every client.  In this post, I am curious about clients who are seeking a real connection with a woman. What is their experience? Is it easy to establish a good connection with an escort? And is it easy to establish good sexual chemistry? In my recent years, as a courtesan, I encounter many clients seeking more than just a physical act – they want passion, or perhaps they want to express desires that are considered ‘taboo’ in mainstream society, and overall they want to me enjoy it too.

As mentioned in the previous post, I tend to see clients who seek a deep connection. Do I connect with them all? Of course not.  They are looking for someone where they can establish good sexual chemistry, companionship and conversation. If such a client is married, then it’s my recollection that he, perhaps, rarely got the sexual openness and ‘spark’ with his own wife. And for single clients, perhaps they have never been in love, perhaps they are timid to share their desires, or they are recovering from a former love? The diversity of intentions for going to see a prostitute fascinate me.

One of my regular clients feels we have a strong connection. Indeed I feel comfortable with him, and do enjoy seeing him. But the feeling is still unequal. He claims he’s in love, but I say, “That’s not a good idea.” I like him as client certainly, as he’s a lovely man, but nothing more. But I admit, I think about his circumstances. Often, during appointments, I ask him about his life. I try to understand how he behaves the way he does – which is caring and sweet. When he started to profess his love for me, I told him, “I think you should go see another escort.” Instead, he claims, thus far, that he has no desire to see another girl. He said he detests meaningless sex – that is, sex without any emotion. He said his satisfaction is when he see’s me being satisfied. I understand his attraction – he likes me because he knows I am enjoying it too. It is egalitarian sex, which makes one-sided sex seem mundane.This client of mine, however, is married. I asked him, like many other attached men, why he see’s me: why cheat? Why not please his wife?

It turned out, his marriage, as he claims, was not founded on geniune love and intimacy. He loves his wife. But the love he described was not intense-sexual-love-chemistry. I asked him, like others, very intimate questions, such as, “Does your wife masturbate? Does she initiate sex? Does she always cum? Is she open minded?” The answers were not surprising.

This married client of mine has experience true love before he got married, with another woman. But sadly, he told me he lost her. He said she died in an accident. He told me that he never forgot their passion. I felt deeply sorry for him, because it seemed the love of his past still lingers. This client makes me wonder to myself:  do I ignite the old flame that once burned in his heart for his former true love? Or perhaps he finds me, as a prostitute, more open with my sexuality? Is there something about familiarity that makes us feel comfortable and nostalgic?

For my viewers, I am curious to know what draws you to escorts? And how does the experience make you feel after? And for escorts, what do your clients tend to seek from you?

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Filed under The Escorting Business, Types of Clients, Types of Prostitutes

The Courtesan Life — My Own Experience

Azteca Goddess

In recent years, I consider myself a courtesan. I have my own definition of it, which is not universal by any means. For me, being a courtesan is, of course, being an ‘elite’ prostitute, yet a courtesan differs in two things:  (1) a courtesan is discerning with her clientele, and (2) has autonomy over her body/business. I have not always been a courtesan; in my initial years, I was a ‘high-end’ prostitute/escort. For some, there is no difference. But for myself, there is a difference. As a courtesan, I attract a slightly different clientele. On the other hand, when I used to work for establishments/agencies, I was available to almost any client that would choose and pay for me.

As a courtesan, I have my own business, I have control over what I do, who I see, how much I charge, and when I want to work. I feel blessed to have this ‘good’ situation as a prostitute, yet I’m mindful of it’s fragility (which I will mention later in this post). For the most part, I see regular clients, and then occasionally I like to advertise and see new clients. Unlike most prostitutes, a courtesan does not see just any man who’s willing to pay — this is the difference. I am picky. Men who contact me are, at first, candidates, and then I sift through those who I feel would be good clients. I can only hope my judgement is good. What has resulted from my ‘sifting’ methods is that I have clients who seek companionship and passionate intimacy. In other words, almost all of my clients want the GFE, or ‘Girlfriend Experience.’

In my previous work, working in agencies/establishment, a lot of clients also wanted GFE, yet the settings played a role in how meetings played out. In an establishment/agency, the limitations are more rigid, such as time limits and rates. It’s less personal in some cases, while meetings can also become quite intimate. After all, I met both my romantic Ex-fiance and my Sheik in a brothel setting. I attracted a variety of men while working ‘inside,’ from men who desired ‘quickies,’ to fetish enthusiasts, to men who desired ‘passionate love-making and conversation.’ To be quite honest, I liked the variety of the brothel setting. Sometimes I miss it. The variety, as a courtesan, is less.

As a courtesan, as mentioned, I attract romantic types. The clients are mostly very lovely. While sifting through candidates, I usually choose highly educated men and/or men who seem soft/affectionate. Seems ideal right? Well, I should feel thankful. But strangely enough, being too passionate and too romantic with various men is sometimes difficult. Most of my clients want to make me cum, kiss my body, kiss my lips, cuddle, talk about life, etc. While it sounds great in theory (because I love those things) it’s very difficult sometimes to do those things with men I DON’T LOVE.

For instance, I met a very sweet client a few months ago. He has such a kind and generous heart. When we meet, he always wants to make sure I feel good. He never demands anything, but always offers to massage me, make me cum via his amazing oral skills, or discuss topics that I am interested in. Again, it sounds ideal, right? I really appreciate him, but I find his sweetness very overbearing. After wards, he will send me very sweet emails and tell me how much he enjoyed our time. There is nothing wrong with him, but I don’t feel any love towards him. I have other clients exactly like him in terms of being loving, devoted — yet with others I might feel some attraction, so it’s tolerable. In cases too overbearing, I may decline to see them again.

I can cum with clients whom I do not desire, of course it feels good at that moment, but then, sometimes, feelings of disgust emerge afterwards — not always, but sometimes I feel disgusted that his lips and tongue have coated every inch of my skin. Again, the ‘disgust’ is the result of not being in love nor attracted to him or his body. I don’t always feel so repulsed by such close intimacy with those I do not love, no. It really depends on my mood and my level of attraction towards someone. There are often times I am so aroused that I will forget my emotions and immerse myself with a client’s body, but I need to be attracted. It becomes tiresome to do it constantly without emotion/genuine attraction. I should mention that it’s typically single (bachelor) who become overbearing. Married clients, who are sweet like this, are more enjoyable, because they still remember it’s business at the end of the day.

 

Sex Sans Love?

eternallove

Love and attraction erases all those feelings of disgust/indifference. When I love, the very scent/smells/secretions of my lover become my drug, whereas the bodily fluids of someone I don’t love — it’s ghastly.  A very blunt, yet brilliant quote I heard (from the French film ‘Romance X’) said, “I don’t care who stuffs my cunt, but I can’t kiss someone I don’t love.” That statement has truth — the importance of taste and emotion. I do kiss some of my clients, but it can sometimes make me feel sickened — the feeling of attraction is not mutual.

Ironically, despite all that I said, I mentioned I miss the brothel variety of clientele. As a courtesan, I seldomly get clients who just want to fuck and leave. But sometimes, I want that!  At least once in a while — some variety! No romance, no philosophical conversations — just pure lust (ok, not always, but …again…variety is nice!). Often my clients write to me and say sweet and sentimental things like, “I miss you” or “Can’t wait to see you again.” Sometimes, I crave the opposite. They never write things like, “I need your hot pussy.” This relates to my persona as an assertive woman (a Femdom), because most clients do not want to disrespect or anger me.

Why do I attract this type, while some other women attract the opposite? I am a bit dominating in an indirect way. My clients, perhaps, detect that I would never tolerate anything less than politeness and respect. It sounds very arrogant what I am saying, but I am speaking of my ‘facade’  (the way I portray myself, not necessarily the reality). When I am in courtesan mode, I act a certain way, dress and present myself in a certain way that is different from my non-work persona.  As I mentioned, I can dress myself to be a ‘Goddess’ and perform it — but in day to day life I’m rather simple.

 

Pragmatic, Not Arrogant

Arrogance is not an attitude I recommend. But unfortunately, arrogance is something many escorts develop from being paid for their time. One thing I always ask myself is: How can long will I be able to be ‘picky’ with my clients? How long will my charm to besot men last?  I am always mindful that, perhaps, one day I wont be in demand. A courtesan/escort/prostitute must never be too comfortable in their position. Times may be good, exceptional — ideal. But nothing is fixed. One must always prepare for the inevitable — aging, an accident, emotional issues, an economic crisis, loss of regulars clients, etc. Despite my ‘ideal’ situation, I  try to always be mindful that this ‘status’ can be gone in an instant. If I rely too much on my physical looks — I must ask, “How many clients will still desire me if I didn’t have my face and body?” Indeed, some of my regular clients are loyal to my mind, body and soul — not just physical — but still, there is no security this work. Prostitutes can still retain their beauty (inner and outer) and success even when they get older and age (yes). But if one simply lives off their ego and superficiality — the span is very short for such women.

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Filed under The Escorting Business, Types of Prostitutes

Answering Your Questions #2: Why do women become prostitutes? Do Saudi men see Prostitutes?

One thing I want to note before I answer questions is that my view is biased. Never assume my opinion, or anyone’s opinion, is the absolute fact for all escorts. My life, my experiences all shape the way I evaluate the world, just as anyone else’s opinion is influenced by their own context.  I suggest that people always remain skeptical, because my experience and outlook is not necessarily extended to the views of all prostitutes or escorts.

Your Question: Why do women become escorts? Or, what factors make women become prostitutes?

Answer: From my observations, women who become prostitutes were placed in a situation where they needed money, and perhaps fast money. Most escorts originate from low-socioeconomic backgrounds. However, a new minority of high-class prostitutes are coming from stable-income families. They sell themselves not because they are desperate for cash, but rather they want to be part of the upper-crest of society. The money they make from selling their bodies allows these ‘materialistic’ prostitutes to buy the lifestyle associated with the high-class. The shallow values promoted by Western culture disgust me now, but I was once poisoned by the so-called promise of living the ‘luxurious’ lifestyle.

Many women I have encountered in the sex industry have been neglected in some form. When I meet with another prostitute, I like to ask about her origins. I have encountered women who seemed “normal,” but later I found out many of their life circumstances pushed them out of the realm of normalcy. Most often, I hear stories from women who were hurt by men. For instance, some women were sexually abused, which made them very wary about trusting men or others. It is ironic that such women, despite their mistrust in men, end up selling themselves to men. Often, I heard stories of women who came from a broken home, and were forced to take care of themselves from a young age. There was no element of “choice” in their circumstances. The foundation of family stability was absent for them, which left them alone to discovered how to survive. Society can be quite cruel to lost souls, or those without any familial support. Often lost souls are exploited by others. For instance, young boys without any direction are susceptible to gang involvement, and young women are vulnerable to prostitution and sexual exploitation. Although I, myself, was never abused, I feel I was a lost soul too. I had a poor sense of direction, so I fell easily into things that came my way. Thankfully, I learned how to cope with being a prostitute and conduct my experiences with clients in a relatively wholesome manner. However, it is not an easy task for a modern-day prostitute to remain resilient to all the negativity that currently surrounds the sex industry.

As mentioned in my blog, I came from a middle-class family. It would seem that I had no valid reason to become a prostitute. However, my family separated in my teens, and as a result my Mother, siblings and I became relatively poor. Because I had previously lived in relative luxury, being poor was not an easy transition. I noticed that all my peers and friends were pampered while I had nothing. My Mother tried her best to keep us happy by sacrificing her own happiness. I admire her for doing that. As I look back in retrospect, I feel sad that I internalized the idea that being “poor” was shameful. I internalized the idea that I needed to objectify myself by focusing on physical beauty, appearing elite, dressing well, etc. Yet it’s not surprising when one feels ashamed to be poor, because modern societies valorizes elitism and all things associated with wealth-accumulation. A wise person can learn to ignore the dominant shallow values, but a young mind is very vulnerable to dominant ideas.

When the idea of prostitution was introduced to me, I decided to I try it once. My first client was very sweet, respectable, and generous. What boggled my mind was that this stranger, my first client, was a more pleasant experience than my previous sexual experience (losing my virginity). I felt like a Goddess, and I actually enjoy his admiration of my body. And best of all, I had made a lot of money from that one hour encounter. That money boosted my self-esteem, and I was able to buy things that I needed. In theory, everything seemed good. But only years later, I realized that there are hefty implications for being a sex worker (social stigma, constantly trying to hide my lifestyle/identity, conflicts with love, developing a shallow sense of morality/egoism, etc). Sex with clients is not the bad part, but what became difficult is reconciling my livelihood as prostitute with a hostile (outside) society that condemns me.

When I started, I made lots of money very fast and what seemed effortlessly. And I lavished in it, and believed I was improving my life by owning all the luxury items and appearing physically beautiful. Clearly, like many in Westernized societies, I was conditioned to believe that my self-worth could be improved with money. Western-Liberal capitalistic societies values money, power and social status/prestige. When I was younger, I was not aware of how much I was being influenced to value money. I was so blinded, because I thought money would solve my problems, but actually it made me more individualistic, materialistic, and most all of, emotionally empty. I chased money because it enhanced my social status, but at the same time I neglected love and relations with wholesome people. I soon learnt that adopting shallow values only attracted shallow people — and these shallow people have zero comprehension of genuine forms of love, inner beauty, wisdom, etc. I came to notice how the so-called ‘cool’ and ‘glamourous’ people were actually devoid of any wholesomeness — they became utterly unattractive upon this epiphany. I was puzzled at how people I met in impoverished countries seemed much happier than the ‘privileged’ elitists in the Westernized states. Why is it people who are poor in developing countries are happier than the poor in the West? The poor in developing countries have family and community, and their kinship societies protect individuals. Only once I was immersed in the shallow ‘luxurious’ lifestyle, I realized how the “promise” was a farce. Now, ironically, I admire those who DO NOT exhibit the traits I once admired.

Your Question: Do Saudi men go to Prostitutes?

Yes, some Saudi men visit prostitutes. But so do some men from all cultural backgrounds. Men of certain cultures may frequent with prostitutes more than others, but this is not “part of their culture” but rather an outcome of their socio-political context. As well, clients do not visit prostitutes for all the same reasons, so it’s hard to lump all clients into one category. Men have various and complex reasons for visiting prostitutes, and it’s not always just about sex.

In my experience, Saudi students have been a noticeable clientele due to various factors. For one, they are coming to a new country where relations between men and women are open, as opposed to home. Given they have scholarship money, it’s often easier for some to visit a prostitute for sex and companionship than the task of meeting women elsewhere. In many cases, I’ve come across Saudi clients who want more than just sex, they want a relationship.

Some Saudi students will try the services of a sex worker when they first arrive in their country of studies. This is because they have been deprived of expressing their sexuality. At first, visiting a prostitute may seem appealing. Initially, the prostitute is an outlet for their deprived sexual desires, and a prostitute is more accessible and convenient than trying to find sex elsewhere (nightclubs, bars, etc). In my observation, however, most Saudi students will not find casual sex appealing or fulfilling. Instead, they will yearn for a girlfriend-like relationship where they can receive affection and care from a woman, rather than a purely business-transaction from a prostitute. Almost all Saudi clients I’ve met, who were not married, asked me if I would consider being their girlfriend, which indicates they desire companionship. The fact I am a prostitute from a similar culture indeed influences their desire towards me. I don’t think sex, alone, is very satisfying for them, as they often want to express their romance in non-sexual ways too.

In my case, I have become the caregiver to some Saudi students. They resort to me when they are in need of affection, and sometimes chemistry arises. Often, as I’ve said before, sex is not the prime objective of these Saudi patrons. One client invited me to his home so he could prepare me a Saudi feast of kabsa. He was extremely respectful and didn’t try to ravage me, but rather was happy to have me as company.  And my Sheik, technically still my client, evolved to be my partner and lover. He found affection in me, and grew attached to me despite my stigmatized profession. Like others, he said he see’s me not for my profession, but for who I am. While this sounds romantic …again, it’s a temporary romance with the Saudis.

My theory for Saudi students also applies to Kuwaiti and Emirati international students, because some share a similar experiences and have been prior patrons of mine too. This theory does not apply to older Saudi men, because they are usually married, and thus their reasonings for visiting prostitutes are different than the students. I have less experience with older (over 35) Saudi men because they are a rarity in my city. The few older Saudi clients I did have were visiting, and were also married. I suppose working in Bahrain or the Gulf would give me a totally new experience of Saudi patrons, as the dynamics are different.

An interesting article was written, called Arab’s Got Prostitution,” which discusses the wide-spread use of prostitutes among Khaleeji men. The article has valid points, however I don’t feel it is fair to demonize all Khaleeji clients of prostitutes. Like all clients, there are ones with good and bad intentions — clients have numerous reasons for resorting to sex workers. While there are many “bad” clients who see prostitutes as sexual objects to use in a neglectful sense, there also exists “good” clients who realize our hardships and treat us with respect and humility.

It is important to understand the prostitution phenomenon in the Middle East within it’s modern context: Modernization, Neo-Liberalism, Imperialism, Globalization, War, Fundamentalist Sexual-Discourses, etc — complex socio-economic reasons contribute to why prostitution is increasingly rampant in a degraded state.

Many emergent and conflicting political, cultural and global factors have lead to Saudi men being popular patrons of prostitutes. Old gendered norms blended with new demands for modernity (Westernization) has had dire implications. Saudi youth, for instance, are now marrying much later compared to the past, due to spending their early 20’s getting an education, trying to find a good job. Old customs of bride-price (mehr) have become more extravagant, thus making it harder for young Saudi men to get married given many are not financially stable until their late 20’s. Given that Gulf laws restrict dating and interaction with non-related members of the opposite gender, unmarried Saudis are caught in an awkward position. New interpretations of gender that impose strict chastity are not compatible with new social realities (what made sense in 7th century Arabia cannot be applied to a 21st century context). Since many men do not have the financial means for ‘traditional’ marriage until their late 20’s, they are essentially pushed to find intimate bonding elsewhere. It’s unrealistic for a person in their 20’s onwards to abstain from seeking comfort/affection with another person. Thus, prostitutes become an ideal outlet for some. The outcome of numerous factors certainly correlates to men resorting to prostitutes in neighbouring Bahrain or other countries. What is tragic is when certain men (regardless of their culture or religion) show no sense of responsibility or genuine respect towards these women, which thereby conditions men to think it’s okay to ‘use a woman’ with no emotional attachment. Not all clients have a ‘neglecting’ intention towards prostitutes, but sadly many do. Even worse, discourses exist to aid a double standard in society, where ‘fallen’ women are seen as the culprits. Such neglecting behavior negates the essence of Islam, because Islam emphasizes social justice for people. The Gulf state governments have basically “sold out” to the lure of the West. Their attempts to ‘protect’ the so-called ‘traditional’ culture is a mere facade, as the old ‘traditional’ practices simply are incompatibly in the new social realities.

Your Question: Why do some men prefer prostitutes for sex?

This is a subjective question. But there is something I think about often: many prostitutes are assertive women. They have their own money and they are independent. Many do NOT cling to men, because men are multiple for a prostitute. It is not a big deal if a prostitute is unsatisfied with one man, because there are plenty of men who can replace him. Some prostitutes develop confidence over time in her sexuality because of her experience.

“Normal” women (women who don’t sell their bodies) make this assumption: pleasing the man will win his heart (it wont!). I have not read that popular book, “Why Men Love Bitches” yet, but the title alone is enough to support my argument. Men need challenge, men need mystery….and men need a woman to be assertive!  A woman can still be herself and be assertive too; this does not mean she has to be dominant per say in an extreme sense. Also, the importance of personality is so crucial, and a lot of women forget about their own needs and desires. Investing all your time in your appearance might attract men, but it won’t keep the worthy ones interested. The very popular trend of women divesting their intellect and making themselves sex-objects is not very wise — as it only attracts men who view women as an object. Being beautiful, only on the outside, does not translate into being a desirable, assertive woman. A woman who thinks she can please a man by giving him, for example, oral sex everyday isn’t very challenging either. What about a woman’s pleasure? Why are most ‘normal’ women not assertive about their own sexual needs? Perhaps because ‘normal’ women are still timid about sex. This is what, perhaps, differs between some prostitutes and ‘normal’ women; prostitutes become comfortable with their bodies and sex appeal because it’s our job. For instance, I am quite demanding in my personal sex life, yet in a subtle way. I know what I desire and I am open to express it with the right man. I have certain sex expectations from my experiences with talented lovers. I cannot be with a man who doesn’t know how to give me amazing orgasms. If he can’t please me, he better learn or he will lose me. I only gained this confidence from my experience in the sex industry. For every lousy sexual partner, there is a great talented lover…so why settle for less? I’d much rather be alone than be with a man who treats me less then what I expect. Without these experiences, I probably would be too timid to demand sexual pleasure.

In a vain sense, I feel the men in my life serve me. Sure, I am a ‘service provider,’ but essentially men feel a bit intimidated by me. They know I am sexually experienced, so they know that pleasing me is not an easy task. I pose a challenge to my lovers. The irony is I can be quite insecure. But with men, initially, I would never dare to expose my insecurities.

Your Question: Do Prostitutes Enjoy Sex with Clients?

This really depends on the individual (the sex worker). Some women can get aroused by certain clients, and other women are absolutely repulsed by clients trying to give them pleasure.  One escort I met told me she was molested as a child, and resultantly she hates sex with clients. She told me her services are very ‘restricted.’ She said she could never kiss a client, or allow a client to kiss her body, because the idea sickened her. Clients will argue that women who don’t enjoy sex should NOT be a prostitute, but that’s too simple to say. This woman shouldn’t be selling herself, but again many of these women do not have a choice. They were placed in a position of desperation, with limited options. Or perhaps they might have been facing some sort of addiction, and selling themselves is the only method that works for them. I feel deeply sorry for these women, because they despise selling themselves, and yet society has made no alternatives for them.

Personally, I have ‘enjoyed’ some men as clients, but it is not enjoying it the same way I enjoy my lovers (then again, all my lovers originated as clients). I say ‘enjoyed’ because sex with a client cannot compare to having sex with someone I love. I can even orgasm with clients who push the right buttons, but there is still a difference. I connect with some of my clients and feel desire with some of them. What I enjoy is a client who is easy going and not demanding. Essentially, a client is enjoyable when I feel totally relaxed. In any event I cannot show a client my displeasure; I, a prostitute, must act as if pleasure was in my nature.

My desire for certain clients depends on my personal life. When I am working and not in a relationship (single) I enjoy sex with clients more. They are my only source for sex when I am single, because I avoid casual sex. But when I am in love with someone, the idea of a client devouring my body is sometimes harder for me to digest (not always, but sometimes love can affect seeing other clients). It’s really confusing: I can still have an orgasm with a client, yet I can also have no desire afterwards for him. For me, I am just making the best of the moment with that client. For instance, I had a client not too long ago who was an absolute gentleman. He was generous, extremely respectful, and he actually made me orgasm twice. Did I enjoy it? Well, at the moment, yes and no. He had amazing sexual skills and was warm and intellectual, but of course I am not in love with him at all. He wasn’t my type either, so although he made me cum I was not really attracted. I cannot genuinely enjoy a mans touch unless I love him or feel truly attracted.

Now, if a sex worker started to develop feelings for her client, then of course she will enjoy his touch.  After all, my ex-fiance was my client. Instantly we had chemistry upon meeting, so I did enjoy his touch.

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Filed under "High-class" prostitution, Facts About the Sex Industry, Questions for Escorts And Clients, The Escorting Business, Trying to leave prostitution, Types of Clients, Types of Prostitutes

Various Types and Characteristics of Prostitutes/Escorts

Over the years, I have encountered various types of escorts/call girls/prostitutes. We cannot be generalized so easily, but sadly we are generalized and stereotyped. Certainly, some escorts do fit certain stereotypes (for instance, being from broken homes, or had been sexually abused), but many other escorts did not endure such events. Most escorts, or I would like to say all (including myself), have experienced some sort of hardship (then again, who hasn’t?). In my case, I faced economic disparity, and resultantly faced depression. Now, however, I realize my depression was due to growing up in a debauched society that convinces people that their worth is based on shallow ideals. Of course, years later, I realized these ideals were wrong. Prostitution was a source of income that allowed me to feel good about myself. In the brothel setting, I was chosen and desired mainly for my sex appeal, which initially gave me an ego and fuelled some shallow tendencies. I was (and continue to be) mainly praised for my sex appeal. However, I am blessed to meet many clients who also truly desire me for whom I am, internally — like my ex-fiance, among others.

In the beginning, I sold myself to gain social prestige. As mentioned in previous posts, I grew up in a middle- to upper class neighbourhood. However, in my late teens my family fragmented, and our socio-economic status became poor. I did not cope well with the sudden transition to living in relative poverty, because meanwhile, my peers lived stable “normal” lives with many luxuries. Prostitution allowed me to remain ‘higher’ class, but only later I realized the whole concept of CLASS is a terrible way to define oneself. I wasted many years trying to please the WRONG people, people who reject others because they don’t follow the norms of society. Like many others, I wrongly assumed that mimicking the elite was a ‘good’ thing. Now, I see I was certainly wrong.

 Recently, in a history lecture on the politics of women’s bodies in a historical context, a classmate asked a cheeky question, “Do you think prostitutes sold themselves to gain higher status?” The professors response was, “I don’t think any prostitute sells themselves to gain status.” Perhaps historically, she is right. However, I am beginning to see a new side of prostitution that is becoming VERY common, yet not acknowledged:

The Materialistic Prostitute/Escort/Call Girl

I am talking about women who sell themselves for material, superficial gain. I’d say it’s a relatively new form of prostitution that is becoming increasingly common. A materialistic prostitute aspires to obtain symbols that uplift her status in the social hierarchy.  In advanced nations “status” materials, such as a Chanel handbag, means that one is wealthy, and therefore considered better (because such a society assumes those who are prettier, wealthier, and powerful are better). In theory, it sounds insane…but of course the societies of advanced nations promote perverted ideals.

During my first years of escorting I made lots of money, fast money. I spent it instantly, because the money was alway available. Louis Vuitton, Prada, silk blouses, fancy dresses, beautiful shoes. I could buy what I desired, or at least what I thought I desired. I still have those items, which now I realize have no sentimental value.  Again, my mind was exposed to various parts of the world as a child. My mind saw the difference between ‘modern’ society and my own ‘traditional’ cultural heritage. Somehow, I could never assimilate into the consumerist culture of the West. Only years later, I realized that the most simple things were things that made me feel genuinely happy. The ‘modern, advance, glitzy’ world didn’t really make me happy. Instead, the debauched values of the West made me a slave to selling myself for the wrong reasons. Initially, I sold myself to gain status, which translates to gaining acceptance from ‘higher’ class individuals by mimicking their dress and mannerisms.

My story is not rare. In fact, there are many, many middle-class girls who are selling themselves for wasteful reasons like I did. They open their legs and perform things they don’t really like to men they don’t really like for a Louis Vuitton handbag.

Having said that, I am still a prostitute. Indeed, I don’t really sell myself for bags and designer goods anymore. I sell myself because (apart from the great financial benefit) this is something I’ve become good at. I do enjoy meeting clients (most of my clients are quite nice and sweet), and sometimes I get chemistry with them and enjoy exploring each others’ sexuality. I have to be thankful that I am ABLE to do this. I am lucky that my financial needs are cared for by man who I love and enjoy (the Sheik), but at the same time I am aware that this will not last; and sadly, I love him beyond his money and wish to have things that can never be (a future).

But not all women share my fate. Countless women are dating men who they don’t love, because they want their money and to be pampered. This is known as a ‘sugar-daddy’ relationship, but it’s not different than prostitution. Personally, I cannot pretend to be in love with a man and be his girlfriend for money. I am affectionate as a courtesan, but I am straight-forward with my emotions to my clients — I don’t fake love.

Indeed, the political, social and economic structures that dominate most of the world are deeply influencing why women are seeking relationships based on wealth rather than based on love. It also can be said these factors are influencing men to view women as objects that can be essentially “used” for sexual purposes only.  Let’s face it, the new modern world worships money and its becoming increasingly divisive and exploitative. Women as sex objects and sex vixens give the illusion of power to the naive observer, but in the long term, there is zero wholesome benefit when women objectify themselves. I used to feel that being a prostitute and having my own money made me powerful, but then I realized that state power has made no status or space for ‘pleasure’ women like myself. At the end of the day, our money doesn’t change the fact we are still socially condemned.

It is not only the West where this is happening. Middle-class girls of semi-industrialized countries are seeking rich, elite men to finance their materialistic dreams. I have even read about Khaleeji women who give up their bodies (of course, not their virginity) to desperate Saudi men under the circumstance he ‘spoils’ them with an expensive handbag or shoes. These women are not to blame. It’s the influence of Western Liberal societal values that are worrisome. I do not believe prostitutes should be condemned or considered inferior just because they sell their bodies, but something is terribly wrong when women are doing it for overly-inflated designer handbags and silicone breasts. I almost got consumed by this poison myself, and I don’t agree with my past shallowness at all. The sad part is: this material-consumer culture still consumes me and I feel tremendous pressure. I once, unfortunately, internalized the idea that worth was based on superficial things (my body). How do I ‘unlearn’ 20-some years of being valued for what on the outside? It’s not easy. It’s not easy at all….especially in a society that places emphasis on the exterior. But now, I see the ugliness in shallowness. Now, I try to focus on the esoteric qualities of life.

Prostitution Slavery / Trafficked Women / Sex Slaves

People tend to think sex slaves are confined to poorer countries. However, they exist everywhere. In the West, there are always stories about women who were lured to a rich country in hopes to find a decent job, yet they get forced into sexual slavery to pay back their alleged debts.

I have not done extensive research on trafficked women, but I would love to do so in the future. It is well known that there are young Iraqi prostitutes in Syria and elsewhere in the Middle East…catering to Saudi male sex tourists. It really scares me. Without a doubt these women do not choose to be prostitutes, but rather they have no choice between doing it or starving. It is heart-breaking to hear stories of families selling their daughters. One must ask how great is this new ‘modern’ world-system when it can put some families in such a helpless state that they have to sell their daughters in order to eat?

Street Prostitutes

There are different levels of street prostitutes (hookers). When I began to work as a high-class escort, I also encountered ‘high-track’ women. ‘High-track’ is slang  for high-class street prostitutes. These women all have pimps. Some of these ‘elite’ girls work as escorts in private, or on the ‘high’ part of a designated outdoor area (or some do both). Again, they may not be high-class in the context of being educated and refined. In the sex industry, high-class is more associated with expensive women more so than actual class. Many expensive prostitutes actually come from poverty and working class backgrounds, yet their beauty allows them to be associated with high-prices and status men.

Some high-end street prostitutes I met were quite beautiful. I could never understand why these beautiful women would work on the street and have pimps (men who take their money). Later I learned that these women had a poor concept of self-governance, and were totally dependent on their pimps for survival (sad, indeed). One young beauty I met was from Eastern Europe. She immigrated to the West, alone, without any family. She told me the story about how she met her pimp. She had no idea about the word ‘pimp’ until she got manipulated by a so-called boyfriend. This boyfriend took advantage of her vulnerable situation and got her into escorting. Years ago in the U.S., an hour with a high-class street prostitute could range from 500 to 700 US dollars. The rule remains that only women with pimps are allowed to stroll in the designated ‘high-track’ area — but this practice of ‘high-class’ track has almost disappeared in recent years. Moreover, high-class street workers vary from country to country. For instance, in Amsterdam’s Red Light District some high-class girls showcase themselves in windows, while in Bangkok the girls wait outside clubs to solicit themselves.

In what seems like a completely different world, there is low-track. Low-track is the slums, or the worst district/street in a city or town (usually associated with homeless and drug-addicted people). Low-track sex workers are what many people assume is associated with the common prostitute: drug-addicted women selling their bodies for next-to-nothing or for drugs. These women are perhaps homeless, and are addicted to lethal drugs such as heroin, crack, meth, etc. I have never encountered one of these women, as they exist in another world totally different than the ‘high-class’ world of prostitution. Yet I have no right to degrade these women. They are humans. They all have a story. Nobody knows how or why these women ended up in such a desperate, vulnerable and dangerous place. Where do these women go for help? How do their clients treat them? Indeed they don’t even have homes and usually use sketchy motels.

High-Class Escorts From Poverty/Working Class Backgrounds

As mention, there is an irony associated with ‘high-class’ escorts/prostitutes, because most of the so called ‘high-class’ escorts are women from low-class/poverty backgrounds. Because of their youth or beauty, these women from low-tier backgrounds can sell themselves to wealthy, rich patrons for generous amounts, and as a result some can bring themselves out of poverty. However, many remain in poverty. I have met countless beautiful women who make thousands a week, yet they live in terrible conditions. The reasoning for this is drugs. ‘High-class’ escorts often take ‘high-class’ drugs (cocaine) to cope with their misery. Indeed many of these women hate selling themselves, but they are driven by the easy money. Their alternative options cannot give them the autonomy and financial ease as prostitution provides. To cope with their agony of letting undesirable men grope and penetrate their body, they use forms of ‘relaxers’ to ease the emotional pain. The women mentioned above are not keen on this job, whilst other ladies (such as myself) can enjoy aspects of it.

I, too, was driven for the money and the autonomy. In my case, I used Louis Vuitton handbags as a source for temporary happiness (which didn’t work). Thankfully I never got involved in other ways of coping with the implications of being a prostitute. I witness many other escorts using partying, drugs, painkillers, and alcohol to deal with their misery. Of course, they end up with multiple addictions, and eventually they end up selling themselves to pay for their drug habits. Eventually, their drug habits damage their beauty, and resultantly, of course, the price of these women drop dramatically at the same rate as their eroding beauty. Many beautiful high-class women, from years of abuse and neglect, end up as low-level street prostitutes. I have seen once beautiful, vibrant escorts transform into desperate, zombie-like addicted women who lost every ounce of innocence from their eyes,…and the worst part is realizing they may soon be on the streets, selling themselves for a hit. Now, one must ask themselves, “Why did these women start doing drugs in the first place?” Perhaps they were trying to cope with the fact they hate selling their bodies, or they were trying to cope with having to hide their identity in a society that is essentially hostile towards sex workers. Although I dismiss drug use, I totally understand why so many women resort to drugs and alcohol — it’s not always easy living this life (even when we do profit handsomely).

A lot of women in prostitution, regardless of their social status, have been neglected in some form. I have encountered many sex workers coming from unstable families and broken homes. Some of these women were raised in foster-care, some were raped, some were sexually assaulted. Somehow, these women were not nurtured or loved. It’s heartbreaking that they further their pain by joining the sex industry. Some do it by choice, but of course their choice is deeply influenced by their socio-economic situation. Many of these women lose hope, because their life experiences have hardened their viewed of hope. Furthermore, I observed how some sex workers have partners, husbands or boyfriends who also subject them to abuse and neglect. To add to the wound, society essentially rejects prostitutes for their ‘loose’ morals, and thus they are left in a psychological grave. I remember meeting a fellow escort who made decent money. However, she had an abusive boyfriend who gladly took her hard-earned money. The obvious question is: why don’t these women leave their abusive boyfriends? Again, the industry is deeply lonely. Many women would rather have the company of someone rather than nobody, and too often it’s bad company. The cliche “misery loves company” is too true in this case.

Selling sex does not have to be negative as it is today. Prostitution has existed in various manifestations both historically and cross-culturally. In other times and places, ‘pleasure’ women held status and social nobility. Only in recent history, in a Western imperialist context, laws and state regulations emerged to criminalized sex workers and other sexual minorities, thus convincing society that we are worthless, disgusting and to be condemned. For women who embrace sex and exploration with others, sex work can be a great outlet. I try to see it as something positive, even though the society around me doesn’t accept what I do. My case is unique, because I do enjoy sex, and I often express my desires with clients, but what is problematic is that MOST prostitutes/escorts are not like me. Most sex workers are very uneasy with the idea of sex with strangers, so why are there no better alternatives for women who do not want to be prostitutes?

The Media’s Unrealistic Depiction of Prostitutes.

I have seen some documentaries/ films / television series on sex workers that glamorize the sex industry. I recall a documentary called, “Cathouse” which depicted the lives of working girls in a Nevada brothel. The show angered me, because it did not depict any of the realistic, ugly aspects of the sex industry. Instead, it almost seemed like a marketing scheme to lure more ‘normal’ women into the so-called ‘glamorous’ world of ‘high-class’ sex work. This is the way the American (Western) media is going, where it’s trying to convince women that degrading themselves as objects is somehow equated to being powerful (in reality, these discourses (ideas) are propagated as a way a way of making money and reproducing systems of oppression). I felt sorry for the sex workers in the film, and I knew for sure that many of them are hiding a lot of pain and are likely unaware of their exploitation.

A good escort is trained not to express her sorrows in public, but rather to keep them inside. I was taught this when I first started working by a former prostitute-turned madam. She told me always to act pleasant and appealing, and never to discuss the realities of my life (the hardships), because in her view (which she is probably correct) clients do not pay to hear a sob-story. Men want sexually attentive, willing, and aroused young women, so thus it’s an escorts job to be an amazing actress most of the time. However, the dynamics often change when escorts develop a closer bond with a regular client. Generally, however, a sex worker who displays her anger and hostility towards men doesn’t make much money and will not have regular clients. Resultantly, many escorts hold their emotions inside in order to profit handsomely.

Where do Prostitutes Work?

Where prostitutes conduct their business depends on laws of their country/state. As well, different kinds of prostitutes conduct their business differently. I have worked from my own home and inside ‘high-class’ brothel establishments. A few times I have also done ‘out-calls,’ which is what people typically consider an escort or call-girl. An ‘out-call’ means I go to the client at his hotel. Some girls do ‘out-calls’ at a clients home, but I have never done this. I am not comfortable with outcalls, but when I have done it I did it at luxury hotels only. Overall, working independently (from home) is better financially, because I can charge higher rates and I keep all the money. However, working in a ‘high-class’ establishment is safer, but the downside is the owner takes a percentage of my money.

My ventures overseas gave me experience in a ‘high-class’ brothel (sex parlour). It was similar to a mini 5-star hotel, and it was immaculately furnished. This particular brothel could accommodate many clients. It was a very professional setting in which there were receptionists, intercoms to each rooms, flat screen televisions, jacuzzis, dressing rooms for the girls, and even a seperate villa to accommodate girls from out of town. I would be introduced to clients, and when they pick me I would take them to a room for our appointment. The room had showers, a king or queen-size bed, and was properly attired for the service of providing sex. The prices were not affordable, and patrons were generally middle to upper class. Occasionally some working men class men would come, which meant they had to “save-up” for the experience.

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