Category Archives: The Escorting Business

Plastic Surgery in the Sex Industry: An Escort’s Insight

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Fun Fact: A lot of escorts/strippers and other kinds of sex workers have undergone plastic surgery and other cosmetic enhancements. It’s very common for an escort to have breast implants, lip injections, eyelash extensions, fake tans, fake hair, and depending on what part of the world you are in, a big fake ass.

My first day working in a brothel was mesmerizing. All the girls were done up glamourously. At least half had fake boobs, almost all had artificially plumped lips and hair extensions. And then walks in me, a shy 19 year old girl who has had nothing done.

And just over a decade later….it’s perhaps shocking that I haven’t had any surgery or enhancements yet. In fact, I’ve essentially had the same look during my entire career as escort. I will explain why later below..

Girls get enhancements because they want to be a fantasy girl for their clients (and prospective men/clients). One cannot deny that most men turn their heads or even may walk into a pole upon seeing a sexy woman, especially if she has breasts or a butt that are well accentuated. I have previously mentioned on my blog that clients come to see escorts as an “escape” from the stresses of real life. For many clients, their fantasy is to be with a woman who differs from the “everyday” woman. Escorts, for instance, dress up in high heels, lingerie, soft or full glam makeup, and, often with the help of plastic surgery, many escorts also have exaggerated feminine body parts.

Having said that, clients all have different versions of what makes the ideal ‘fantasy girl.’ Not everyone idealizes the stereotypical vixen look. Some clients are into natural or more ‘everyday’ looks in women. I had a client who once requested me to dress down into comfortable clothing rather than my usual lingerie and heels attire. Generally, all men have different tastes and desires. This means that women should, ideally, try to feel content being themselves rather than resorting to plastic surgery to conform to today’s beauty ideals.

I made a plethora of observations when I used to work in a brothel many years back. Usually 10-20 girls would stand in a line up and a client would pick a girl. I learnt that all sorts of women are desired for different reasons. Ladies with overt feminine assets, however, tended to be more popular in getting chosen in line ups. Endowed breasts, a beautiful face, a nice hair style, a nice bum and nice skin were traits that were frequently preferred. A pretty faced woman with small breasts or very petite frame could also do well. Sometimes assets like breast size were not as important to certain clients who had race preferences. For instance, men with “Asian fever” might have a preference for black hair and Asian facial features, or might prefer a certain race for cultural and social familiarity.

Many escorts believe if they had bigger lips, bigger boobs, and a smaller waist, for instance, they will attract more men. They make this assumption based off observing how men behaved in the presence of a sexy woman who had traits considered highly desirable. So these escorts decide to go under the knife and pay for other beauty enhancements to attract more male attention. These days, its almost the norm to see an escort who with breast implants, injected plump lips, heavy sultry makeup, and now, even fake butts and snatched waists from liposuction. Is it a good idea for escorts to get plastic surgery? Are you a woman thinking about plastic surgery? I will answer that later in this article…

And what about boring ol’ me?

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I was 19 years old, and it was my first day working in an brothel. Shy and nervous, completely innocent. When I first walked in the ladies room, I was mesmerized by the girls who worked there. They all had designer handbags, long hair, lovely bodies, beautiful make up, healthy tans and pretty lingerie. For my first shift, I had prepared by buying a new pair of sexy clear high heels, a turquoise lace baby doll over a matching bra and thong. I felt completely unglamorous compared to the other girls. But once I dressed up, and went in my first line up, I was shocked that I, completely naive and clueless, was popular. I then realized how blessed I was to be naturally sexy. I was a fantasy girl. It took minimal effort for me to attract clients. It’s not that I was or am exceptionally beautiful. But I have exotic features, a buxom physique, a pretty face and an overall a “sexy” girl-next-door look. I have natural physical assets that other women sometimes pay for. I have big natural breasts and a bum. I am consider voluptuous, neither skinny nor fat.

Salma-Hayek-SultrySince then, I’ve maintained the same look and never felt a need so far to change anything drastically (that can change, however). While in escort mode, I have also maintained the same style. I wear tight, elegant lingerie with ample cleavage, sexy heels, do my nails, do sultry makeup. From a young age, I’ve always loved exotic women with a natural sexiness and often looked to them for inspiration. One of my favorite looks is Salma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn — dark red lips, dark hair, gold anklets and jewelry.

So is Sahar flawless? No. Like most people, I have physical flaws. My nose could be smaller, my waist could be smaller. I definitely have to be mindful of what I eat, as I gain weight easily. I am also aging in visible ways. Indeed, these flaws induce feelings of insecurities at times. But, for now, I am grateful for my flaws and see them as a positive rather than negative. Any naturally busty woman with some hips will have a bit of a tummy and thighs. Big natural breasts also cannot defy gravity and as such will sag a bit. In the Western world, many women are obsessed with perky boobs and flat tummies. If I did some nip/tuck, I might convince myself that I’ll attain some sort of ‘perfection.’  The thing is, I kind of like my flaws, such as my soft tummy. It matches my body, it makes everything look proportioned. I have had lovers and clients who adore my soft tummy and thick thighs. I had lovers/clients who said I look even sexier during the times I put on 10-15 lbs than my normal weight. I even learnt that some men with big natural boob fetishes are overjoyed with the natural sagging and stretch marks that often come with the package.

Throughout my career, I became curious as to what asset or trait, specifically, attracted my clients. I usually ask clients, “So, why did you come to see me? Are you into big boobs? Pretty Ethnic women? The whole package? Many do indeed come for my curvy assets, but there are many other reasons. Some men say they like the way I spoke, wrote and conducted myself on my website, as I seemed “sophisticated.” Some come because of my ethnicity — they like the beauty of women from a certain region. Some come for my feet, or perhaps services I offer, such as role-play or domination. Some even come just for the way I smell! I discovered a few clients are not even boob men, but said they love my face. But overall, most clients say they enjoy my personality. The point is, the true desirability of a woman is a combination of beauty and brains.

The bottom line is two things:

  1. A woman is desirable for many things beyond her looks. Physical beauty is essential, but personality is crucial in keeping decent clientele returning.
  2. No woman can ever be perfect and attract every man, period. Perfection does not exist. For one man, big boobs and ass is their ideal, but for another man, a less curvy slim woman is their ideal. Over all, most decent men seek to establish an emotional/mental connection in addition to physical attraction. Decent men know that there is much more to a woman than her bodily assets alone.

All women need to realize the most sexiest thing a woman can have is confidence. Confidence comes from feeling comfortable in your skin, and accepting yourself (flaws and all). What’s considered a “flaw” by one is considered beautiful by another. Beauty is all about perspective. As an escort, I have seen all sorts of women be desired for a variety reasons — confidence is always what has men coming back for more as a regular client. So the question remains…..

Should an Escort (or Any Woman) Get Plastic Surgery?

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I am not against plastic surgery, but I am not an advocate for it either. It depends on the procedure one is getting and the reasonings for it.

What if the reason to get plastic surgery is vanity? Ideally, I’d advise against plastic surgery. I would advise one to work on their self-esteem, and stop comparing themselves to trends or people in society. A lot of the social media figures/models often do not even look like their own photos — there is a lot of deception on TV and on social media. Photoshop and Apps like Facetune can turn an average looking woman into a perfectly shaped hour glass model, and moreover conceal the scars/flaws/complications from plastic surgery. There are a lot of complications from plastic surgery and also long term, possibly dire, consequences. It’s also important to note that big businesses purposely wants people to dislike themselves and buy things to make them feel worthy (celebs and social media influencers get paid to endorse/push this narrative through advertising).

The reality is: A lot of escorts get work done under the assumption it will bring in more work ($$$). Indeed an escort isn’t wrong in wanting to invest into herself to get ahead, but is plastic surgery necessary in getting ahead? The question one needs to ask is this: will plastic surgery be good for her in the long term? I have mixed feelings about it, because I have seen many escorts get plastic surgery and due to their self esteem issues they end up attracting bad clients/partners (which is usually followed by a heavy partying lifestyle, more plastic surgery and the end result looking crazy). On the other hand, I have seen escorts who did moderate cosmetic work and were fine. And of course, a natural woman who takes care of herself can do well too.

Cosmetic alternations are very common these days. It’s due to living in a climate where women are under immense pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards. Many men also have become brainwashed through pop culture and porn to have unrealistic expectations of women.

Instead of plastic surgery, one can work on improving their self esteem by eating healthy, exercising and surrounding themselves with genuine, wholesome people. At the end of the day, people feel content when they feel loved and belong. Plastic surgery will not solve deeper issues of low self esteem and the need the be loved. Plastic surgery may give one attention, but it’s often attention from people who only care about superficial traits in other people. If one absolutely feels they must get cosmetic enhancements, then I can only suggest to be moderate. Everyone has the right to do what they like with their body. The importance is finding a balance between mind, body and soul. 

Again, not all attention is good attention. Attention for being viewed as sexy is often shallow. In the long run, it’s not a great feeling to get attention solely for superficial things. Or maybe it’s just me. My soul craves depth, and I want to be seen as more than just a sex object.

Having plastic surgery as an escort WILL change the type of men/clients you attract.

When getting plastic surgery (depending on how extreme it is), an escort must realize their new look will change how men are attracted to them (and treat them). In escorting, there some clients do not like plastic surgery, some whom are indifferent to it, and then some who like it. Moderate plastic surgery that looks natural and proportioned is usually more acceptable among the diverse pool of men/clients. But excessive, overt plastic surgery (obvious breast implants, big fake lips, etc) are usually desired by the worst kind of men (aka dusty’s, creeps, fuckboys, soulless types). For the most part, decent men are not big fans of the extreme plastic look. And if they are do show interest, it’s for very shallow reasons (ie: a one-time-only curiosity).

In my “Types of Clients” post, I wrote about a type of client who has the “Madonna-Whore Complex.” This type of client goes for the ‘cosmetically enhanced barbie doll’ with very large breast implants, large lips, etc. He likes this type of woman because he preys on the low self-esteem that caused these women to turn themselves into sex dolls. He takes advantage of their poor self-worth and treats them like trash. He see’s them as the epitome of a whore, in a derogatory sense. He wants to fuck them aggressively and cares little for their comfort or needs. He usually fucks once, and then is onto the next. I have seen many pretty “barbie” types be treated very poorly men — these kind of women succeed in attracting shallow, naive or dusty men, but sadly deter (distance) themselves from meeting with wholesome, decent men. This happens because these women invest everything into their looks at the expense of developing a personality (personality is important for wholesome, decent men).

I feel sad for these kinds of girls, because as mentioned, they are magnets for men who literally see them as an object. These type of escorts unfortunately are usually lost women who became exploited by a pimp or were severely harmed by male lover. As an escort, they attract party clients (aka coke-heads), shallow types who want a temporary trophy, and aggressive men (the “Madonna-Whore Complex’ type). Often, these women end up doing a lot of party drugs to cope with the empty feeling of being extremely emotionally neglected — they are trapped in being the exaggerated fantasy woman and lost their true self in the process. This description is not intended to hate or judge these women –I worked with many of these girls and noticed these patterns and the clients they attracted.  There is hope in all situations for all people. A woman who went down this route of extreme vanity can still heal from her pain and change the dynamics in her life.

In essence, any lady who is considering surgical enhancements needs to think about the physical, emotional and social consequences.

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Ladies: What are your thoughts? Have you had work done? Would you or would you not promote plastic surgery? 

Men: What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? 

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Topics about Escorts, Clients & Sex

Dear Readers: Help me choose what I should talk about for my next post. I am always writing drafts about escorting, sex, clients, relationships and so forth. Below are a list of titles of topics that I have written drafts about in recent months. (I apologize in advance for the vulgarity of the titles)

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  1. Fetishes, Domination, & the Joys of Roleplay as an Escort.

  2. Prostitutes who Scam Men.

  3. Healing your Trauma as a Sex Worker

  4. The Truth About Escort Reviews.

  5. My Experience with Pimps & Pimped Escorts

  6. Who has the Best Dick?

  7. Who has the Worst Dick?

  8. Self Love While Being a Prostitute.

  9. When He Drowns in Her Thickness. 

  10. Prostitutes, Plastic Surgery & Body Image.

  11. Self Love, City Girls, & Staying Positive as a Female Hustler. 

     

    City-Girls-Hustling-Prostitution

 

 

Which of these topics would you like me to post about next? 

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Normal Men Don’t Marry Prostitutes – Who Will?

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A “normal” man is your everyday guy-next-door, with a relatively normal family, a normal job, normal hobbies and a normal set of friends/peers. This man will never marry a prostitute (knowingly, that is). Why? He is too busy to ponder deeply about prostitutes, or the plight of downtrodden people, generally. He would be afraid to be associated with people outside the realm of normal. He would be focused on keeping up appearances. He will be too concerned about what his family thinks. He would be too afraid of what others might say. This “normal” man is likely to be a “great” client to a prostitute, but he will never marry a prostitute. He may love her, lust for her and cheat on his wife with a prostitute, but he will never swim against the tide to give a prostitute the full dignity of marriage(**Mind you, not all prostitutes desire or want marriage at all, or with such a person**)

The only case where this “normal” man would marry a prostitute is if her past is unknown (kept a secret). Some prostitutes do hide their past and revert back into normative society.

Who Marries a Prostitute?

A prostitute will attract a lot of men whom are not good for her: weirdos, creeps. Men with unwholesome lifestyles and intentions (ie: swingers, players, pimps, predators/abusers). A prostitute should never associate with these sort of men (but sadly, prostitutes often do get in relations with such individuals due to being naive or getting ‘finessed’). Aside from the unwholesome, there are some decent men who marry prostitutes.

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Wajid Ali Shah (d. 1887), last ruler of Lucknow, married a courtesan.

 

There are good kinds of men who will marry a prostitute. But these kind of men are rare. They are rare because most people, generally, are too afraid to go against societal norms. It’s understandable — life is much easier when one sticks to what the majority does. After all, prostitutes are heavily stigmatized and hated by wider society. Only a man with an immensely solid self-esteem and high emotional intellect can overlook all the stigma and realize prostitute’s humanity.

The good man for a prostitute *might* be normal looking/acting. But deep down, he will be immensely unique. He will possess empathy for others. He is one who dismisses and/or critiques societal norms that negate wholeness or humanity. In other words, this kind of man is deep and highly moral. He may have been broken himself, which is why he has depth and a deeper understanding of life. He won’t care what society thinks (marrying a prostitute), because he knows the value of humanity over ego. He will fight to protect his beloved. Once again, he might look like one of the “normal” men with the conventional lifestyle, but deep down he is much more unconventional. Of course, a lot of prostitutes like myself are also quite “normal” acting, but are rather unconventional behind closed doors. 

Depiction of a “True Lover” in Film: Water (2005)

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Water (Director: Deepa Mehta, 2005) 

In the film Water (2005), the character Narayan, played by John Abraham, is the epitome of an empathetic, true lover. The character Narayan came from a “normal” upper class family. Compared to his peers, who could care less about the well-being of prostitutes and can easily reduce a prostitute to “she’s just a whore,” Narayan was different. He was disturbed by the inhumane, cruel norms within Indian society. Thus, he became an activist, and lived out his activism through action. He fell in love with a young widow, who was prostituting herself to survive. Despite he knew his Mother’s disapproval, he was confident in his decision to marry a widow (a deeply stigmatized “undesirable” woman for marriage in pre-Modern Hindu society). He was confident because he knew he was doing the right thing.

The most powerful part of the film is when Kalyani, the widowed prostitute, bares her soul and makes herself extremely vulnerable. Kaylani was expecting to be rejected for exposing herself (ie: loss of her physical beauty, and exposing herself as a stigmatized woman). But despite that,  Narayan looks at her and says, “I love you even more now,” and made preparations to marry her. His powerful action symbolized true love — a man who loves their beloved in any condition. He was swimming against the tide, and yet he remained determined. That scene always makes me cry, as such love is only imaginable.

Prostitutes Relationships with Drug Dealers & Gangsters 

Aside from creeps and good men, prostitutes commonly bond with men whom are involved in the underworld, or the illegal trade economy. These men are drug dealers, gang members, or are somehow involved in the black market economy. While a lot of gangster-type of men fall into the ‘creep’ category and are harmful for prostitutes, some of them, ironically, are actually caring, loving, protective and loyal. Class is also a factor — there are different classes of gangsters just as there are different classes of sex workers. For instance, some high class prostitutes associate with high ranking gangsters/mafia (I, personally, avoid mingling with such people due to lack of common interests).

Why do Prostitutes often form Relationships with Drug Dealers and Gangsters?

Both come from similar backgrounds of childhood neglect, broken homes, and/or poverty, etc. They find commonality and comfort in their shared experience of trauma and being ostracized (outcasted) from ‘polite’ society. Drug dealers and gangsters are less likely to care what society considers a “proper” wife, and this is because they have less family input into their lives or their families are less concerned about keeping up appearances. Vice versa. There are indeed a lot of scum who are drug dealers (ie: those who do it to floss (ego and fame), and/or ones who pimp and exploit women into the sex industry). But not all gangsters are the same — some are vehemently against that and are protective of women. The “good” gangsters are in the game due to circumstances, and they often want out of that life (very much like most prostitutes).

Over the years, I have occasionally come across these kind of men as clients. Strangely enough, I often felt chemistry or somewhat connected to clients whom were affiliated to the underworld (the kind whom are low-key, sophisticated and un-flashy). The ones I liked were generous and took pride in caring for and protecting women. They were also emotionally deep, and we had a lot in common in terms of struggles and coming from dysfunctional family backgrounds. One, in particular, that I connected with was a man who left the illegal life behind. He told me he had spent time in prison when he was younger and “foolish.” When he got out, he changed his ways and made a better life for himself. We spoke about our broken families and circumstances, and somehow, it made things more passionate. Something about pain is erotic — people who come from pain sometimes express their passion with more intensity. At the same time, anyone who has been through struggle is often dealing with un-healed trauma, which is hazardous for a healthy relationship. I purposely avoided getting serious with gangsters for this reason, but also because they were outside my Islamic criteria and personal interests.


 

Dear Readers: What is your take on this topic? Would you marry a prostitute? For Sex Workers, what sort of man would you marry? Are you married to a prostitute? Are you are prostitute who is married? Share your experience!

 

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Escorting: The Joys of Scumbag Men

I was called a whore today. It’s been a while since someone has called me a whore. The person who called me a whore was someone I had not met, but rather a a man who called to inquire about my escorting services… (story continues a few paragraphs below).

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All sorts of men will contact a prostitute to inquire about her services. Some men have thoroughly read my ad and website, so when they contact me, they are ready to book. Then there are men who barely read my descriptions and contact me with questions about my services, rates, etc. I do not mind answering questions, and I am not offended when someone is just causally inquiring. When I talk to a prospective client, I get an indication of whether or not he is decent. I judge based on his demeanour, his manners, etc. The process is known as screening, the process of an escort filtering prospective clients (or in other words, filtering out the good from the bad clients)

Now, screening can be very annoying. This is because some men who contact escorts are just time wasters — or also complete low-lifes. They do things that annoy all escorts, such as asking for discounts, asking for risky services, whining why risky services are not offered, trying to flirt or talk sexual, asking for additional photos, booking then not showing up, etc. Good clients do not do these things — they are respectful, easy going and are straight forward. For an escort, a good sense of screening is, sadly, only learnt through trial and error. Which means every escort will encounter scum men in the screening process.

For this reason, I have a policy that prospective clients must either email or phone me. If they email, they will still need to eventually call me. Hearing someones voice gives off many cues to a persons’ persona — are they polite? Are they educated? Do they speak well?

A lot of men who contact escorts are low-lifes  (pathetic excuses of men) — and they can usually be detected via their telephone etiquette. As mentioned, decent clients are very kind, respectful and straight forward. But lowlifes are all kinds of unpleasant. Whenever I answer my phone and there is a disgusting man on the other line, I politely say that I do not offer what they seek and say goodbye. Sometimes, when I hang up the phone with one, I cuss them out, “Idiot!” “Disgusting pervert!” I do not, however, cuss them out over the phone — no no.

But today I did. I answered the phone. It was not clear at first whether this man was a low-life or not, so I entertained his questions. First, he did not read anything on my ad, so he asked several questions — okay, fine. Then he asked if I provided a certain service and I said politely, “No, sorry I don’t offer that.” Then he started whining and said, “Why not? Listen, I am really good looking, do you think you can make an exception for me?” I rolled my eyes, “Like I said, I do not offer that, so maybe you will have better luck with another lady.” He then said I was rude. I was about to hang up, but I felt compelled to cuss him out. I never do that. I wasn’t even in a bad mood. “You’re shameless. Disgusting man — don’t you have any shame talking to a someone in such a dehumanizing way? Idiot!” Then I hung up. Just before I blocked his number, he instantly text me. I knew exactly what he was going to say, as any low-life would say when their fragile ego is tested. He text me, “YOU FUCKING WHORE!” “You are a whore!”

I laughed out loud. I almost wanted to reply,  “Wow! Damn, right in the feels….how original! LOL!!!”But then I realized there was no point. I just blocked and deleted. And then I regretted my outburst. I don’t think it’s wise that any escort cusses out pathetic losers as such. Why?

So What Should An Escort Do?

In cases like the above, it’s best to do nothing. When creeps contact an escort, it is best to just politely say goodbye and do as I do (cuss them out in your head, have a good laugh and move on). Yes, it is extremely tempting to stand up for yourself and call out an indecent man for what he is: disgusting, dehumanizing, pathetic and creepy. But for an escort, a man who’s ego is so fragile can be potentially dangerous. He can retaliate. He can change his number and contact you again. He could do many things to try to book you under a different alias. He can harm you. It’s simply not worth it. There are some escort sites where ladies warn each other about bad-clients, by posting their phone numbers on a blacklist. This is one thing an escort can do — warn others. But again, creeps can change their number. In the case where there is severe harassment, then do contact the police or a local sex worker organization that helps with sex workers rights. 

This post is meant to be part funny and part serious. I don’t actually care if I was called a whore — call me slut, hoe, thotiana, whatever…. I could care less about someone’s opinion of me in that sense. If anything, it tells me about how hateful and pathetic a person can be.

Times like these makes me nostalgic about my brothel days. In between seeing clients, girls (escorts) would all sit together and discuss how stupid and creepy some men are. We would laugh until it hurts. It’s also quite sad at the same time because it’s scary to know a LOT creepy, predatory-like men like this exist (men who might, for instance, behave differently behind closed doors).

Recommendation for Escorts: For any escorts who work alone, I recommend visiting a Reddit forum called Client Cringe or r/ClientCringe. It’s brilliant! It’s a place for escorts to discuss and post screenshots of the funny and cringe-worthy idiots who contact them.

**Big thank you to all the Respectful Men (Clients and non-clients) who respect escorts (and women, generally) and make our lives more humane **

To my Fellow Escorts & Readers: What sort of creeps have you encountered? What’s the funniest or oddest thing someone has said when contacting you? Please feel free to share your stories. Lastly, who do you tell when you have funny stories to share about your escorting life?

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Prostitution is Increasing in Society: Why?

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I have seen how prostitition has increased in the just-over-a-decade that I have been in the sex industry (I never ever imagined this would have been my life!). I became a prostitute a few years before the Internet Escort Craze began. At it’s peak in 2008/2009, the Craigslist Erotic listings truly changed the nature of the sex industry. Later, websites like Backpage would also act as a popular medium for sex workers and clients to connect. I jumped on the Internet craze a bit late, starting in late 2010. In essence, I have witnessed a LOT of change in the sex industry from my early days until now. The pivotal change is how the Internet made sex work more easily attainable for both clients and sex workers. The Internet mediums for selling sex, in alignment with the 2008 economic recession, also led to an increased number of women joining the sex industry due to economic woes.

The Internet, however, increased negativity for women in the sex industry. More and more women were joining the sex industry, and yet standards within the sex industry became more degraded. The price of sex, for one, has barely increased in line with monetary inflation. Instead, the inflation of women has cheapened the price of sex. As a result, many sex workers have to truly lower their dignity and price to attract clients. When I began sex work just over a decade ago, there was no such thing as “quickies” as a high-class escort. Now, there are beautiful women who will do it all for much less. I feel deeply sad whenever I see escort ads —  I had never heard of “15 minute specials” or things like “blow and go.” I can’t even look at those ads anymore without feeling immensely sad at what the lives must like of the women who post such ad’s. Moreover, it makes me sad (and scared) to imagine there are men who will contribute to a woman’s worth being reduced to a quickie or “blow and go.”

In my case, I was able to maintain the same standards that I had from the beginning of my sex work days, thankfully. This is because I had the ability to work low-volume, or part-time. Most prostitutes don’t share my experience, however. Most are subjected to having less control over their bodies, which leads to severe emotional (and sometimes physical) trauma from their work. Despite all the sadness I have felt all these years, I cannot even dare to imagine the pain that most other prostitutes experience (again, my situation is not comparable to the majority).

Why is Prostitution Increasing?

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The answer is: Society is increasingly losing it’s humanity. Inequality is increasing. Unhappy, stressed and overworked people are increasing. Relations between men and women are more conflicting. The family unit is decreasing. Wisdom/morality is decreasing. All of these social ills are related and are the result of a capitalistic world system based on consumerism (ie: $$$$$$$$$). When people are unhappy or stressed, most will resort to various outlets (drugs, sex, porn, food) to cope.  Prostitutes fill a void for the men who visit them.

In times of increased stress, the demand for prostitutes will increase (this is the world we live in now).

For clients, prostitutes are an escape from a stressful work week, stressful responsibilities, etc. People, in general, are stressed more so than ever before in history, and thus there is an increased demand for escapism (the sex industry is one form of escapism for men). Are prostitutes a healthy outlet for escapism? There is no simple answer, because men visit prostitutes for a wide variety of reasons and at different frequencies. In essence, the demand has risen, and thus the supply (prostitutes) has increased.

I have traveled quite a bit of the world, thankfully. From my travels and my anthropological studies, I observed that only certain societies can allow prostitution to thrive. Despite prostitition being “the oldest profession in the world,” not all societies in the past had the conditions for prostitution to occur. Historically, more simplistic societies with a strong emphasis on kin/family had no reason for women to prostitute themselves. Many simple societies had little sense of individualism, so therefore it would be extremely rare for an individual to be neglected and left on their own to care for themselves. A woman is prone to become a prostitute in a context where she is neglected in some form and left to fend for herself —- such a phenomena can only occur in the society that has the conditions where exploitation and inequality can occur. In the current global context, a woman has very little security to protect her well-being and thus many can be easily ‘pushed’ into sex work. It’s an unfortunate reality.

I live in a city where there is a high ratio of women who are in the sex industry in some shape or form.

I remember sitting on a train a few years ago, and I overheard two college girls casually discussing sugar daddies. One girl was telling her peer that she really needs to considering getting a sugar daddie online to help pay her bills. Both girls looked like completely normal, typical college girls. It was a shocking realization for me, because when I was a teen I would never imagine “normal” girls casually discussing schemes on making money by through sex. But clearly I was out of the loop, because THINGS HAVE CHANGED. When I was 16 years old, I had no idea what an escort was! But nowadays, young ‘normal’ girls know all about the sex industry — they know (thanks to music and social media) that a viable option for them is to became an escort, cam girl, sugar baby, stripper, or porn actress. Now, the sex industry has become normalized. It’s even glamorized (for the dark purpose of indirectly trafficking more girls into sex work).

Hip Hop, Social Media & the Entertainment Industry is Making Prostitution ‘Cool’ 

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Celebrities like Amber Rose are promoting apparel that tells women to proudly say they are a “hoe” or “slut.”

“You’re such a fucking HOE, I love it!”

Kanye West and Lil Pump in ‘I love It’

“Fuck him and I get some money. Yah! Fuck him then I get some money…”

– Cardi B with G-Eazy in ‘No Limit’

THE NEW PIMPS are popular music entertainers and other celebrities:

They hook their viewers by telling them it’s fun to take drugs (smoke a lil weed to dumb and numb them down ), which then weakens and makes the victim complicit in their exploitation. 

I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a young man or woman these days (mind you, I am talking as if I am super old…..I am an old soul!). Young minds are so impressionable. A young girl these days faces tremendous pressure from the most soulless, superficial role models. The most popular music ‘artists’ are ones promoting women to literally hate their natural selves. They glamorize a woman’s worth based on her ability to be being a sex object. This kind of objectification was around when I was a teenager too, but it was not to the extreme that it is today. When I was a teen, there was NEVER any popular music that was openly telling me to sell my body as a prostitute. I was in my late teens when I entered sex work and I had literally no idea of what I was getting into. But nowadays, things are much different. Young girls may already know about escorting or sugaring as a career option due to sex work becoming mainstream. Instead of the traditional pimps, celebrities are the new pimps, telling women to become sex workers, to be petty. And now, many women are actually doing it since it has become so mainstream (escorts, strippers, porn actresses, cam girls, etc). Women will have less hesitation to join the sex industry when it is NORMALIZED and ENCOURAGED by pop culture. It’s truly heart breaking, because these women are led to believe lies of empowerment and happiness through false propaganda. Even some escorts will pimp out other women by selling the false image of a luxurious lifestyle. What women are not told about are the consequences of living such a life, and moreover how materialism only creates a VERY short-lived sense of fulfilment. No woman feels empowered when she is treated like an object (where her inner qualities are rejected or ignored). There is short term joy for newbies to the sex industry, but the long term consequences always contain harm, exploitation and psychological distress. As mentioned, almost all sex workers will resort to drugs, drinking, and other harmful habits to cope with the lack of wholesome love that led them into sex work.


Given that the Internet explosion of sex work is still relatively new, it will be very interesting to observe the long term effects of this new attempt at making sex work ‘cool’ and ‘trendy.’ 

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**For any of my readers unfamiliar with street slang, a “hoe” is the same derogatory meaning as a whore, slut or prostitute. 

Dear Readers: What do you think? Have you, too, also noticed the expansion of the sex industry? Are there any things that influenced you to the sex industry?

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Where Do Prostitutes Go for Comfort?

Clients come to prostitutes for a variety of reasons. Most come to escape the world, to get comfort, pleasure — to feel intimacy.

The Comfort of a Woman's Lap for a Man is a Haven

The heavenly comfort of resting on the lap of a nurturing woman…

 

Clients come to Comfort Women (prostitutes) to escape the harsh realities of daily life. For clients, prostitutes are appealing because we are (ideally) a soothing, pleasurable fantasy that men can retreat too at their convenience. For the most part, we dress up and act/behave our best while with clients.

For men whom have some money to spare, they have the option to pay for comfort with a prostitute. It is, for the most part, a one sided comfort that only benefits the client. And what about the prostitute? 

The reality is that most prostitutes do not have a healthy outlet to find comfort. Furthermore, most prostitutes do not derive pleasure/comfort from their encounters with clients. Most are, in fact, repulsed by intimacy with strange men (of course, they will conceal their displeasure). So for many years, I used to think about this: clients come to us for comfort, but..

Where do prostitutes go to escape the harsh realities of their lives?

The answer is: there is no safe haven or outlet that any prostitute can retreat too. As a result, most prostitutes escape and cope with life with very unhealthy habits: drugs, alcohol, excessive materialism, unhealthy relationships, seeking sexual attention from strangers to validate their self-worth. What prostitutes need is wholesome care/love. Wholesome love is the only thing that has the potential to soothe/comfort her (in the form of family, friends or spouse — and above all, spirituality (Allah, for me, as a Muslim). Love, however, is not something that can be purchased nor easily attained. Moreover, love can be something so strange and conflicting for a prostitute. It’s not easy to welcome love into one’s life or even give love when one comes from a traumatic past or is experiencing PTSD (something most prostitutes endure knowingly or not).

A Problem With No Solution

Society did not make a wholesome outlet nor alternative for prostitutes. Instead, we are silenced and often have no one to listen to us. Even if there was an outlet, we often fear to disclose our personal thoughts. We know society jokes about how “hoes” ain’t worthy of respect, we know society shuns us. We know that if we make one mistake, it will be thrown back into our face that we are simply just whores. In essence, we have no wholesome place to go for comfort. Love is the only outlet that can soothe us, yet ironically, a prostitute is very much a fool to hope or dream for love.

Sex as a Coping Mechanism?

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In my personal experience (which is definitely not the experience of most prostitutes), I also adopted unhealthy coping mechanisms. Physical intimacy, as one example, became my escape from the realities of life. Intimacy and passion seemed to make all the stresses of the world minimize. Although I stay away from drugs and alcohol, my erotic coping mechanisms were not much better. I had a very poor sense of discipline and limits. I am now understanding and applying the value of discipline. I have come to realize that an undisciplined life based off one’s desires/passions comes with negative consequences. Let’s not forget that many clients who seek to escape with prostitutes, for instance, are often married and thereby harming the well-being of their spouse. A brilliant quote has stuck with me as I grow older and am making more sense of the world:

“The exhaustion of the passions is the beginning of wisdom”

-Lost Horizon, 1937, James Hilton

 

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Bless The Hearts of Good Clients

A reader of mine is adamant that all men who see prostitutes are inherently bad. This is not true. I could never say all clients are X — there is too much diversity in clients. Not all clients want to just fuck a woman like an object and go ‘high-five’ their soulless peers after. Yes, there are a lot of soulless, perverted men who are clients of prostitutes. Yet there are also ones with genuine souls.

Good clients are ones who have empathy. They think about the well being of prostitutes. Rather than just take take take, they want to understand, give and act respectful. These are the clients who adore the escort they see, whom put her comfort and dignity above everything — who don’t just see her as a sexual object. Yes, some even literally bow at her feet in servitude. For me, I feel grateful I have known many kind-hearted clients who literally serviced me, and allowed me to escape and relax — they massaged me, they listened to me, they comforted me. So indeed, in some cases, the feeling of escapism can be mutual with clients.

Comfort-Massage

Traumatic events, by definition, overwhelm our ability to cope

-Susan Pease Banitt (The Trauma Toolkit)

Dear Prostitutes & Readers: What Comforts You? How do you Cope? What do you think could help you?

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Filed under Emotional Aspects Related to Escorting, The Escorting Business, Types of Clients