Category Archives: Sex

Escorting: Fears, Risks, and the ‘Girlfriend Experience.’

A female reader emailed me and posed an interesting question:

“I wanted to ask if you get any anxiety about stds? I wonder if escorts can ever feel very safe about meeting so many men who may infect them with something very serious.”

To answer her question: yes, when I first started escorting I had severe anxiety over many things, such as worrying about sexually transmitted diseases. Besides worrying about diseases, I was also worried that too much sex was going to damage me internally, by making me ‘loose.’ I wrote about that previously, which can be viewed here: https://exoticescortdiary.com/2012/03/02/the-myth-of-a-loose-woman/

erotic stockings

When I began escorting, I had very little sexual experience, thus I was a bit fearful of what having sex with strangers might entail. In particular, I was very worried that sleeping with multiple clients was placing me at risk for sex-related diseases. But once more familiar with the industry, I realized that the risk was very minimal as I used a condom for oral and sex. My introduction to escorting  began with a high-end establishment that instructed girls to be extremely safe. And by extremely safe this meant there was no such thing as the ‘GFE’ (the Girlfriend Experience). At this high-end agency, escorts risked losing their job if they were caught doing ‘extras.’ Back then, the owner of this particular establishment prided herself in having girls who avoided GFE. In other words, there would be no kissing, no oral sex without a condom, or anything that’s considered intimate-like. Nowadays, such cautious attitudes do not prevail, and virtually all agencies and brothels embrace more risky services associated with the various interpretations of GFE. Men want the closest to passionate sex as possible from an escort — which is why GFE is highly in demand. Every girl has her own interpretation of what GFE entails — it might be oral sex with or without condoms, it might be light kissing or deep french kissing, etc, etc. Yet despite some girls being a little more/or less open-minded for certain acts of foreplay, a condom is always used for sex in any situation.

I’ve maintained the same stance on being safe. However, there is a slight contradiction. As I mentioned before, I did/do cross boundaries with certain clients. Specifically, I give in to receiving pleasure occasionally. A lot of clients then and now were lovely men, who seduced me in a respectful manner. I seldom stop them if they are talented. In such instances, I lavish in my own vanity and pleasure….and I’d think to myself something highly arrogant, such as, “Ahhh, men pay me to give ME pleasure.

 

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To my readers, I apologize for my absence. I have been writing lots as always, yet most of my writings are half-finished as I’m doing the difficult task of incorporating ideology and context to my observations. What I aim to do is give my readers a broader understanding, and a more ‘academic’ feel for the sex industry. I seek to conceptualize rather than simply sharing my personal accounts. More importantly, I want to avoid ‘essentializing’ traits of men and women, or giving the idea of ‘universals’ for human behavior. In other words, many observed traits of men and women are not innate, but rather are socially constructed. I want to focus on the social conditions that set the norms and habits in certain contexts or circumstances. A lot of what I write is very much context constrained (for the most part, I am writing about ‘high-end’ escorting in a Western social context). Although the experiences and observations I write about are common occurances/trends, they are not universals (they are not traits experienced by all prostitutes cross-culturally, nor historically). I want to make these points clear in my other posts. In any event, I also wish to make this blog a dialogue, so I welcome my readers to comment and share their own perspectives.

4 Comments

January 22, 2013 · 8:19 am

Your Questions, My Answers #4 – The Sex Industry and Human Sexuality

I love checking my stats for this blog and seeing the numerous search engine terms. It gives an idea of what people think about prostitutes. One thing that pops up very often is the question: do prostitutes get pleasure? I answered that question in previous posts. But I should restate it: we have sex with clients for money, not out of pleasure (even though some of us enjoy some clients). The other common misconception is that many people assume a whore (a woman who loves sex) is synonymous with a prostitute (a woman who has sex for money). Ahh…it is interesting how we live in a world that’s obsessed with sex, yet is still so confined to norms and social attitudes. Why is it such an issue? Well, human sexuality was made political (causing a moral panic) since the 19th century in the Modern context. Why? Sexuality is associated with reproduction. What is the most important thing to national leaders? To reproduce their society, so they can gain dominance in this competitive (poisoned), capitalistic world. Anyway, I won’t get in to that now….

 

Your Question: Should I get a female prostitute for my wife?

If its her idea, sure. Be sure to find a quality and genuinely sensual private escort (finding an escort who is genuinely in tune with her sexual desires — such as being intimate with other women — is not easy). Bare in mind, many escorts are willing to do ‘girl-on-girl’ for the money, but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve witness ‘girl-on-girl’ appointments where the experience was completely mechanical and fake. I’ve always fantasized to have a beautiful, wholesome woman to be my client. Or vice versa: I have the fantasy of being a patron for a beautiful, wholesome courtesan. But it’s just not common having a beautiful woman seek an escort (unless, in rare cases, she’s with her male partner).

Once I saw a couple. It was the woman who wanted to live out this fantasy. It was a very great experience. The woman was not particularly my type, but regardless she was lovely. I cannot explain the intensity of touching and caressing a woman while a man is getting so turned on by the very sight. Both a man and woman’s body is interesting for me, so I didn’t mind exploring a woman who wasn’t exactly my ideal. She made me cum, while her lover watched. It made me wonder if such openness between couples is a truly a good thing?

While some fantasies sound good in theory, are they good in reality? I used to tell my ex about my threesome fantasies. He loved when we talked about it, but he said that he would never do it. Why not? He said it wasn’t healthy for a relationship. His argument was this: if we do it once, then what if one of us has uncontrollable urges to do it again and again? I embrace being open in a relationship, but sometimes having no limits can cause havoc.

 

Your Question: As an Escort, How Much Should I Charge clients?

Basic economics 101: It’s the law of supply and demand, which varies from city to city. For instance, there are an abundance of ‘inexpensive’ women available in my locale. More women = lower prices. Less women = higher prices.  Dave Chapelle made a hilarious joke related to this, “If Pussy was a stock, then we’ve flooded the market! Women are giving it away too easy.

My price is in the higher-end range for my city, which also means I limit my clientele (since many men cannot afford my rate/rather restrictive rules). I adjust my rate depending on which city I am in. When I worked overseas the particular city was wealthier and therefore I could increase my price. There is a demand for ‘high-quality’, safe escorts for a more discerning clientele, but these type of women are a minority in the sex industry.

I must also note that not every girl can successfully charge high rates. Men have certain expectations with women who charge higher-than-average rates. For one, an expensive escort is expected to be exceptional in some way, whether it’s beauty, intellectual or sensuality (or perhaps the entire combination). Although part-time, I consider myself a very skilled courtesan. Over the years, I learned how to cater to the needs of a client and how to act like the companion that he desires. If a woman does not satisfy the expectations associated with her price, then she will not have repeat clients. She must be ‘worth it’, but again, one’s worth is also a perception.

 

Your Question: What do Girls do after Appointments?

We eat! I don’t know what it is about sex, but hunger and thirst follows afterwards. It’s a universal among escorts that we love eating (especially when we work in a brothel establishment together). We order food in abundance. Sometimes we make our clients wait so we can eat some chocolate or delicious delicacies. To be quite honest, I miss the ‘in between time’ when working at a brothel. The ‘in between time’ is when girls have a break in between seeing clients. We sit together, a group of girls (hopefully a good group — because escorts are infamous for their cattiness towards each other), we order food, some smoke cigarettes, we tease and laugh about our clients, and we discuss the most vulgar subjects. Many times the night turned into an all-girl party; we all made money, celebrated and laughed until it hurts. As an independent, I don’t get to experience any of that ‘female bonding’ anymore (which is also a good thing….escorts can be terrible influences on each other).

The ‘good’ girls never last long at brothels…they eventually move on to something or somewhere else. There used to be a good group of escort girls that I knew when I worked overseas. These girls made going to work fun. They were girls with other goals besides sex-work. Eventually the group disintegrated and we went our separate ways. It was during these female ‘in-between’ bonding times that I got to observe a lot of behaviors/realities/circumstances for women who are in the sex industry. Yet for the short time we shared together, we gave each other support.

 

Your Question: How to “fuck prostitutes and not get caught by wife?”

This mentality makes me cringe sometimes. I understand social pressures and not wanting to break-up the family, but the sneakiness of infidelity is alarming. The only infidelity that I don’t really condemn is with men who’ve been married for a lengthy time, and their wives (due to old age, disability, no interest, etc) do not have sex anymore.  But I do not feel sympathy for younger men, especially newly married men, who cheat on their wives just for the sake of ‘variety.’ If variety is what you desire, then opt for an open relationship or don’t get into a relationship with someone who expects monogamy. If only there was more openness in relations.

Once, I met a great client who was in an open relationship (his wife knew he was seeing me). They were a loving couple with children. They were educated and realistic about their needs. They had a private, semi-open relationship, complete with set boundaries. Both were permitted to see other people within reason, but the main restriction was: no sex with others. And that man, as a client, was utmost respectful of his wife’s restrictions and remained disciplined. Their relationship made me more warm towards the idea of an open-relationship (something I haven’t tried …it’s always been one-sided, in my favor).

Sadly, many men do go to lengths to hide their sexual affairs. They get private mobile phones, they slip away for an hour or so, and even bring their own soap. One of my married clients brings his own body-wash, because he worries that my ‘girly-scented’ soaps will make his wife suspicious.

 

Your Question: Why would an Escort want to stop seeing a client?

Well, as mentioned, some men develop strong feelings for us (which can make us uncomfortable). It’s problematic when the love is one sided (he falls in love, and we just liked him as a client only). Love is an irreversible thing…I can’t just tell a man to ‘stop loving me’ and he will switch his emotions off. Sometimes these men can also interfere with our personal lives, which gets overbearing. When I was overseas, I had a devoted client who fell in love with me, and we became quite close. However, I only just saw him as a favorable regular client of mine. He became obsessive, and I had to end it. (I will talk about him in a future post). There are also issues of morality. In rare cases, it is the escort who truly likes a client, and thus she might feel uncomfortable to continue seeing him as a client (but in most cases, it’s usually the first scenario mentioned above).

It might be shocking to know that I, as a sex worker, have my own morals. Sometimes clients are too candid about their personal lives. They openly tell me they are married or attached, or they have children, or their life stories, etc. In my brothel days, one particular client told me too many personal details about his life, and as a result I rejected him. Why? He was a very sweet man, but his life circumstances conflicted with my morals. When I first met him, his wife (as he told me) was heavily pregnant with their second child. He said he was working two jobs to make a good life for his family. He claimed his wife being pregnant as an excuse for no intimacy between them. He also stated how he loved his wife dearly. Yet ironically, he was spending a large sum of money (for him) to spend time with me. I couldn’t justify it. He wasn’t financially well off, and the money he used to pay for me could be put to better use (he could use that much-needed money for his family). For this reason, I advised him to stop seeing me. I told him to go home to his pregnant wife, and give her comfort, do something special for her , but don’t spend hundreds of dollars (that you really cannot afford) for spending one hour admiring an escort. It amazes me how far men will go just to have sex and be with a woman!

Did he listen? No, of course not. Men love women who are ‘unavailable.’ According to him, I was special. I was the only girl he saw. For him, he felt I was ‘worth it.’ But I felt guilty taking money that could be used for someone (his wife and child) who needed it more. So, I told him, once again, to stop seeing me. That was the last time, and soon after I stopped working in that particular establishment. Apparently, he still calls the establishment looking for me

 

Your Question: How to Make Clients Spend Money on You?

The only thing I can say is be yourself. Don’t be greedy, be thankful. I am an honest escort. I have been in many situations where I could ‘exploit’ the situation of my clients for gain. I know how to do it, but it goes against my personal ethics. I am a woman who has a heart, and therefore I cannot hurt people intentionally. I see the merit in honesty.

But! Unfortunately, not all escorts (or women, people for that matter) have honest intentions! I’ve seen plenty of women (working and non-working) who can lie, use and manipulate good people for their own selfishness.

I am not perfect. I have made mistakes in the past and hurt decent people. But it hurt me also.

If you are an escort looking for cheap and easy ways to “scam” a man…you are reading the wrong blog. It is an unfortunate truth that many women in the industry are not honest, and do give the honest ones a bad reputation.

 

Your Question: Do Escorts ever Fall in Love with One Man?

Why not? Escorts are human. Why do people assume that an escorts needs/desires are any different than a non-escort? Like any individual, an escort her own unique preferences. Ironically, despite the fact that most escorts defy social norms, I’ve observed many escort women who desire heteronormative relationships in their personal lives (ie: monogamy and marriage).

Personally, I can be loyal to my love, but I don’t know if I could be monogamous, however.

 

Your Question: Does Escort Work Ruin Her Sex Life? (Does Prostitution Ruin our Personal Sex Lives?)

It’s a logical question. One would think that having too much sex would be physically draining (especially because society assumes that women are hardly horny). I’m sure this is the case for some women, because too many women are still shy or unaware of their erotic capabilities. But personally, sex work intensified my desires. Sometimes, seeing clients is like a big tease (a build up), and makes me crave my personal lovers. In fact, I attribute that being with multiple clients taught me so many great things about intimacy. My experience with countless clients made me a better, more enthusiastic lover in my personal life. In this blog I focus on the implications of escorting, which are solely negative. But I have to say being a prostitute gave me access to some sexually-talented men, and contributed to me being in tuned with my body and thus experiencing an amazing personal sex life. Something about being a courtesan makes me feel sexually assertive, and enhanced my dominance persona with men. Perhaps this reason could explain why most clients are concerned with making sure I get pleasure.

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Filed under Bisexual, Facts About the Sex Industry, Questions for Escorts And Clients, Sex, The Escorting Business

Can Men Really Be Blamed for Cheating?

 

Growing up in a world that emphasizes enduring romantic love, fairytales and love marriages indeed influences us. In the West, we are socialized to believe in love that is everlasting and monogamous; we expect that our lovers should stay faithful and honest to us. In current times, expectations on love are very high, which often leads to disappointment. Where did these expectations come from? Why do we assume that relationships MUST be monogamous? Why do we assume that humans can only love ONE person? Is fidelity a realistic expectation if we consider the worldwide statistics of divorce?

My view towards love and relationships are changing. As an escort, I see countless men who are ‘committed’ — often men who are in loving relationships with girlfriends and wives. What can explain why these men are cheating on their partners? Many of these married men love their wives, but their wives no longer have sex with them. We label these men, or anyone, who cheats as selfish and weak because they cannot ‘control’ their desires. Yet isn’t it unjust when men, and also women, are stuck in a relationship that lacks intimacy? Many men and women feel ‘stuck’ in their marriages, so rather than divorce and face all negative impacts of divorce they end up choosing infidelity.

Men, just as women, also face oppression from modern gender role expectations. Previously, I used to feel that I could never trust men (because my experience as an escort saw too many ‘nice’ men who were cheating their wife/partner). I was once bitter; I thought that most men were liars and cheaters. But my thoughts have changed as I try to understand the dynamics of society. My view now is: Social expectations and social pressures have forced men to lie and ‘cheat.’ Men are not at fault. Women also lie and cheat. But the problem is society and UNREALISTIC social expectations placed upon us. Contemporary European-style monogamous marriage, alone, simply doesn’t work in the modern context. One must be mindful that marriage has many variations and interpretations cross-culturally. For this topic, I am referring to monogamous marriage (in modern times, the ‘love’ monogamous marriage).

“To hold and proclaim that a man and a woman (who may not even have chosen each other) are in duty bound to satisfy each other in every way throughout their lives is a monstrosity that necessarily gives rise to hypocrisy, lying, hostility and unhappiness” (Simone de Beauvoir, 1949: The Second Sex (1974 edn. p497-8).

Basically, Simone De Beauvoir, the pioneer French feminist, says the concept of Western monogamous marriage is invalid. Marriage, in her view, gives way to lying, cheating and hypocrisy because of the unrealistic expectations placed on individuals in a relationship (such as promising a lifetime of fidelity). I agree with her that contemporary marriage in modern context is problematic, but I do not agree that marriage in other contexts (culturally and historically) can be degraded. Marriage in other historical contexts (non-Western) was not oppressing, as it meant something vastly different than it’s usage today. Yes, marriage used to have a vital purpose for the society, but it’s meaning has become diluted and shallow with modern capitalism. Even the concept of polygamy once served an important social function. Yet today, polygamy is marked with negative connotation. Polygamy is still taboo in Western societies. When polygamy does exist, it is only men who have the ability to have multiple wives. Women, of course, are not supposed to have multiple lovers…..because society does not recognize that a woman’s desire IS just as powerful as a man. The irony of it all is that our society embraces ‘serial monogamy’ (having a relationship, breaking up, and then starting a new relationship with another), yet polygamy is still stigmatized?

My stance on marriage is undetermined. I do feel marriage in other contexts served an important purpose, yet the contexts have changed. On one hand, marriage is the only institution that has provided better security for children (yet one must also be mindful that other societies, organized in vastly different ways, had other ways of maintaining social structures, such as family — so, in essence, there is no universal ‘proper’ way of having a relationship). But for the moment, it seems, marriage is the safest institution to hold families together. It still holds symbolic meaning in non-Western cultures. But Western marriage, in particular, has lost it’s symbolic purpose –it has unrealistic expectations that contradict the context. With my experiences of seeing countless men cheating on their spouses, I really question the concept of fidelity. Even for myself, I have never been ‘faithful’ to any of my partners (mainly because of my work) ; but I have also had multiple lovers all at once. Many would probably label me as selfish, and unable to appreciate being with one person, or having a lack of self-control. Of course, our so-called ‘great’ modern society has so many degrading terms to apply to those who do not conform. But I ask: who wants us to be monogamous and why?  Ideally, the concept of open relationships and marriages sound ideal, but we are far too egotistic to accept sharing our partners. We’ve internalized monogamy to the core. Even I am hypocritical: despite having multiple lovers myself, the idea of my men being with other women is unfathomable (but this is probably because I can’t let go of my ego and superiority complex).

We also need more openness to other variations of marriage that exist cross-culturally. Also, we need is more awareness and acceptance of the sexual needs from our lovers. For instance, if a wife decides to abstain from sexual intercourse with her husband, how can she expect her husband to give up his desire? That’s unfair to a husband. Similarly, I would suffer also if I was stuck with a man who couldn’t give me intense sexual pleasure. I feel deep sympathy for women who are stuck with men who don’t give them orgasm.

What would compel a woman to stop having sex with her husband? Do most men fail to please their women?

Patriarchy, capitalism and modern gender roles for men and women has conditioned society to ignore or devalue female sexual pleasure. Yet with more acknowledgment of women’s desires, the sexual needs of women become more valued. A common myth is that women have less sexual desire than men. As well, we assume that when women get older, they lose their sexual desire. I disagree. The problem is these women with ‘low-sex drives’ never got to experience intense sexual pleasure. Perhaps they internalized ‘shame’ associated with exploring their sexuality. Some women show little interest in sex, because they don’t even know what ‘good’ sex is. These women may have married early, and had only one to a few sexual partners. Personally, if I wasn’t a prostitute (with the experience of having sex with a variety of men), then it’s likely I would have NEVER experienced good sex (because men who are amazing at sex are still a minority).

Faking orgasm and pornography influence men to perform bad at sex?
Aside from modern gender role expectations of female passivity, I attribute men lacking in sexual skills with two things: women faking orgasm and pornography.

What gave men the idea that it takes MINIMAL effort to make a woman orgasm? One reason is that women often fake their pleasure, which reinforces a positive self-concept of his performance.  Too many women fake their pleasure. Even escorts do it commonly, which I have witnessed when clients booked me and another girl together. The result of women faking their sexual pleasure means that MEN will assume their BAD sexual skills are GOOD (and thus these men have no incentive to improve their sexual skills!). Countless men I’ve slept with have this annoying trait: they think it’s easy to make a woman orgasm. The classic scenario: during sexual penetration, the client will say to me, “Did you come yet baby??” Or better yet, after 2 or 3 minutes of oral sex on me, he says, “Are you close baby, did you come?” I, however, refuse to fake my pleasure. If he really wants to give me pleasure, I will teach him how to do it.

The other reason why some men lack sexual skills is because of: pornography. The majority of Porn reflects the gender and sexuality discourses of modern society — where, sadly, female sexuality is reduced to passiveness. Porn is mostly false acts of sex, and the goal of porn is typically for HIS pleasure. When a woman ‘apparently’ has orgasm in porn, they hardly depict the reality. They show a man performing cunninlingus for 1 or 2 minutes, with the woman screaming for ‘pleasure’ and then apparently, she has an orgasm. It’s false. Considering most men watch porn, they are being (socialized) influenced in false ways, giving birth to false expectation. Thanks to ideas propagated by porn, many men will have the expectation that women can orgasm easily and are pleasured by minimal effort. Thankfully, some men reject societal norms of ignoring/devaluing female sexuality. There are great men who’ve discovered that the beauty of pleasure is when both participants are fully enjoying. Yet I cannot say men, alone, are at fault.  After all, it takes two to tango: so, if many women don’t discover their own sexual pleasure, how can men know?

Certainly many women may have no sexual desire because their partners or husbands never addressed their sexual needs. Yet we cannot blame the man, because perhaps his wife gave him false impressions that his performance was good. In cases of marriage in conservative societies, divorce is taboo because of social pressures and social expectations. So what happens as a result? Couples suffer passively, and they end up cheating. For many societies, love was not connected to marriage, yet there was also not an unrealistic expectation of monogamy. In a some contexts, some women fear to cheat, so they end up having lesbian relations with other women. A great Indian film titled Fire depicts this very well, where two married women resort to lesbianism because their needs are ignored by their husbands.

In theory, it sounds great that I can be accepting of my partners needs. For instance if I am unable to have sex, I should not prohibit my partner from getting it elsewhere. Just as I would hope, ideally, that my lover would let another man give me pleasure if he was unable to do so. In theory, this sounds great. YET in reality, JEALOUSLY, angst, emotions get involved because we are so conditioned to believe in ENDURING love. We are so selfish to even fathom that our lover might have needs that we cannot meet.

With my ex, I  had severe trust issues. He didn’t trust me, as I was his young beautiful lover. And I didn’t trust him because he was, well, a MAN. That made our relationship disastrous. Ideally I want to be more accepting if my partner potentially desires another. But I admit, the idea is hard to digest. It’s my ego that gives rise to these jealous feelings….this sense of entitlement, that I must be the best and the ONLY woman for my man.

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Filed under Feeling sorry for the wives, Relationships, Sex

The Myth of a “Loose” Woman

Well, what is the term loose? Webster dictionary defines loose as: not tight-fitting; not dense, close, or compact in structure or arrangement; lacking moral restraint (unchaste), etc.

Thanks to the diffusion of oppressive Victorian notions of sexuality, many societies today view prostitutes and women with multiple sex partners as  “loose” women. “Loose” in this context has a negative meaning. It signifies that a woman is morally de-valued, because of her ‘loose’ morals and ‘loose’ vagina. The misconception is that her vagina is less tight because she has frequent sex — and in this narrow mentality, a woman’s sexuality supposedly determines her inner qualities. Of course, this concept of being ‘loose’ has no validity at all, but rather is the outcome of hegemonic discourses aiming at maintaining gender inequality. These stereotypes of “loose” women are constructions that serve a political agenda — in this discourse, a woman’s sexuality is a threat to the institutionalized norms of patriarchy. But in reality, a woman’s vagina size does not get bigger as a result of frequent sex with multiple men. The only way a woman’s vaginal canal size increases is, perhaps, by delivering a child vaginally.

When I first entered the sex industry, I thought frequent sex with random men would damage my sexual organs. Essentially, I thought I would become ‘loose.’ This really worried me, until I realized my assumption was incorrect. In fact, exploring my sexuality made me physically ‘tensed’ by way of orgasm. My job as a prostitute exposes me to multiple men, and this variety allows me to explore a diversity of sexuality with some talented men. These talented men made me orgasm in various ways. An orgasm requires contraction of kegal muscles, which can make the vagina more tense (tight). My ex, for instance, always made me orgasm, multiple times. I could have sex with him after seeing multiple clients; rather than being ‘loose,’ having lots of sex actually made me physically tensed, or tightened. An orgasmic vagina usually tightens, especially during climax.

I should also define two types of sex that women experience. Sex for her own pleasure, and sex for his pleasure. A woman who orgasms often has sex for her own pleasure. She cannot be satisfied without an orgasm. On the other hand, there are women who have sex without even knowing their own pleasure. They may have a partner who has no idea (nor interest) to make her climax. A woman who doesn’t orgasm isn’t strengthening her muscles, so while she may not be “loose” she doesn’t become ‘tensed’ when excited. Men who have experience with orgasmic women are well aware of this beauty — a woman who orgasms makes the sex extremely euphoric, passionate and addicting.

My theory is that women who have frequent orgasms through sexual activities enable a ‘snugness,’ which is due to frequent use of kegal muscles. However, valuing a woman based on the ‘tightness’ of her vagina is very shallow. If one thinks good sex is based purely on physical components (ie: size of vagina), then they have a poor comprehension of what brings great sexual pleasure. If anything, people with overtly superficial expectations on others probably have the worst sex. Any wise person knows that physical components are only one fraction of numerous other inner qualities that contribute to beautiful pleasure. Sadly, there is a tragic abundance of ignorant people who believe physical shapes and sizes are essential to desire — without realizing, many people with narrow mentalities actually limit their access to true pleasure/intimacy. Women come in all different shapes and sizes, as do men. There is a “fit” for everyone, which is linked by chemistry more so than the physical aspect.


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Filed under Sex

Sex and Beyond

Before I entered the world of high-class prostitution, I had virtually little sexual experience with others. However, I was deeply sensual and curious. Back then, in my late teens, I didn’t even know that a man could bring me to orgasm. For one thing, bringing myself to orgasm used to take a lot of effort. Little did I know that some men make it their goal to spend a great deal of time giving pleasure.

I often feel that being a prostitute has made me a very passionate lover. I really love sex (only with those I love and/or have chemistry with, of course). I am fortunate that my facade (the exotic and busty girl-next-door) attracts a lot of romantic clients, clients who get pleasure in pleasing me. It is some of these clients who’ve taught me about the wonders of my body, and what feels good.

When I was around 19, a gentleman, who happened to be a client, gave me my first non-self-induced orgasm (previously, I had my first orgasm by myself). I learnt that pleasure-giving-men know how to make a woman feel relaxed — and most importantly, they are patient. He spent such a long time kissing nearly every inch of my body, edging me and teasing me purposely. In fact, he purposely teased me by avoiding my most sensitive areas. By the time he reached my nipples, my valley was flooded with arousal. Once his tongue went between my inner thighs, I was intensely aroused. Coming with his warm lips and mouth was bliss. After him, it gradually became easier to come with talented men. My ex-fiancee in particular made it his duty to make sure I always have intense orgasms, in any fashion that I desired.

I have always been a very aroused lady. As I wrote before, the ironic thing about being a courtesan is that ‘work’ sex makes me crave ‘real’ sex. As mentioned, some clients (regular clients that I know well and trust) can make me orgasm. However, the reality is sex for ‘work’ doesn’t do much for me. A client who makes me orgasm does not make me lust for him necessarily. While I may get pleasure from a client, my feelings can remain indifferent since there is no love. However, a man that I genuinely desire, who makes me orgasm, entices me to be playful and heighten our pleasure. There are no sexual boundaries with someone I love.

A fellow escort once ridiculed me angrily, because she found it ‘disgusting’ that I could get pleasure from some clients. Ironically enough, when escorts socialize together it is actually ‘uncool’ for an escort to admit she enjoys sex with some clients. Most sex workers I’ve encounter do not ‘get off’ with their clients, and can’t even conceive of the idea. Even more ironic, escorts judge each other as ‘whores’ depending if she enjoys her clients or not. Paid-sex is typically ‘mechanical’ between working girls and their clients — the sad reality is most girls are doing this for the sole purpose of money. Just because a woman sells her body does not mean she’s discovered the beauty of pleasure or has discovered her own sexuality (sadly) — I think a lot of people do not realize this about prostitutes. My theory only reflects a small minority of prostitutes, where I try to make the best of work and enjoy it when possible. If a man is respectful, impeccably hygienic, discerning and generous, then I may let him seduce me (within limits, of course).

‘The girlfriend experience’ is a term working girls use to describe an ‘extra’ service. Regular service with a client consists of sex with a condom, blow-job with a condom, no kissing, no touching or licking her pussy. The ‘girlfriend experience’ on the other hand includes kissing and allowing the man to perform oral sex on her — in other words, sex that’s similar to being with ones girlfriend. Additionally, no high-class working girl has sex without a condom, unless she is insane. Any form of unsafe sex among high-class prostitutes is looked down upon, and deeply condemned amongst the working girls ‘codes of ethics.’

So despite my rant on safe sex, I contradict myself because of my actions with the Sheik. Technically, the Sheik is a client because he pays for our time. However, he is also my lover and friend. The sex we have has no limits, because it’s emotional and based on love. It is the strangest and most confusing scenario I’ve encountered, the Sheik and I.

My hormones are raging this week. I am flushed with desire. I can’t wait to see the Sheik and unleash these desires.

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