Category Archives: “High-class” prostitution

Social Participation — No Place for a Prostitute

Prostitutes are marginalized in almost all societies in the world today. I am fully aware that I have to conceal the fact that I sold myself as a commodity in order to ‘succeed’ in any future career. Let’s face it, we do not value comfort women, because they ‘contaminate’ the prescriptions of society. We do not think how or why they do it, or if they enjoy it. Society tells us these ‘non-conformists’ are unworthy of love…un-worthly of acknowledgement. In this mentality whatever does NOT benefit the society and it’s status-quo is simply ignored or dismissed. I like what Amber (beinganescort @ blogspot)  wrote in one of her posts about how people are quick to condemn prostitutes, but they never consider our emotions.

Sometimes, however, I have a desire to ‘come out.’ Sometimes, I want to go against society, and test the barriers. How will others treat me when they know about my past? Will I be labeled? Will I be taken seriously? Probably not. Yet, why can I not have a voice?   The answer is simple: I fear rejection. Rejection from one person is one matter, but rejection from society is another. I remember meeting a very educated and ambitious escort in her mid-30’s. Her and I got quite close when we were working together, however she never dared to reveal any personal information about herself. I never knew her real name. I never knew her ethnicity. I did know she was planning to work in international law, and that’s all. Why does she have to hide her shame? Even if she does become successful, she can never share her emotions of her experiences in the sex-trade.

Again, I mentioned in previous posts: to avoid being rejected or outcasted in society, I conform to the prescribed ideals. I do not tell people that I am prostitute, nor do I dress, look, or behave like what is stereotypically expected of one. Lately, I’ve grown tiresome of concealing my identity. I used to have a huge fear of people judging me. The only fear that really remains is my family finding out. My parents are too old to understand the bigger picture, and moreover I don’t want them to worry about me. I do not need to tell everyone what I do, because it’s sex– and sex is something that is intimate between myself and the participant. However, you might ask: Why do you have a public blog talking about your work? The answer is simple: it’s my outlet; it’s also for girls who may be in a similar position than me; it’s also for those who want a realistic insight from an escort rather than relying on fictional-depictions found elsewhere.

Years ago, I used to place myself on a pedestal above other escorts/prostitutes. I felt that I was ‘above’ them because I didn’t look or act like a “whore.” However, I have come to realize that I am just like every other prostitute. There are no real social hierarchies…, at the end of the day, a prostitute has sex for money (and it doesn’t matter if she is working on the streets or she is driving a Mercedes). Now, I feel no shame. Why should I feel shame about something I did? If I hurt anyone I only hurt myself…I did not hurt others. I don’t feel I am a bad person, so why allow myself to feel I did something terribly wrong? Who says its wrong? Sure many can argue that a prostitute contributes to a man cheating on their spouse. But again, who instilled these values? Are these values of fidelity and pureness innate? Or were we socialized to accept these values?

Film for Thought: Malena, starring Monica Bellucci, always puts me to tears. It’s a classic example of society, and how they marginalized the character Malena for her non-conforming habits. The beating scene is so powerful, because finally we get to hear the pain felt by Malena. Her voice was silenced throughout the whole movie. Everyone in town was quick to condemn her, but nobody cared to hear her voice. In a recent history lecture our class came across the topic of prostitution in a historical context. My professor wanted to note how the voices of these women, the prostitutes, were silenced…nobody knew their stories. She said if they (the prostitutes) had a chance to have a voice perhaps they wouldn’t have been treated harshly. Again, how can one dictate who can or cannot have a voice?

The beating scene from the film Malena. The village women taking their revenge on a woman whom they never once spoke too.

“Honor and shame are two sides of the SAME coin”

– Kama Sutra: Tale of Love (film)

*On a less serious note: I thought it was only young Saudi men who had a fondness towards their mothers. My older Saudi client, the 50’something year Dad, has left town. Apparently he is quite bored where he is, so he calls me usually everyday with his little-to-no English. He has began to call me his Mother…he says it multiple times: “enti (you’re my..) ..Mather…mama….ummm..Motherrrr.” I find it funny, and to be honest I like it. An old Saudi man referring to a 20-something year old girl as his Mama…, in a foolish way, it makes me feel honored.

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Sahar, the Prostitute with a Heart of Gold?

I would like to think of myself as a virtuous prostitute, if such a title could exist. The fact that I have sex before marriage means that I am anything BUT virtuous. However, if one puts virtuous in the context of being a prostitute who still retains wholesome, moral values, then I consider myself virtuous. People tend to think escorts, or prostitutes, have poor attitudes, dress vulgar and engage heavily with intoxicants. For me, I don’t drink, I don’t dress vulgar in my day-to-day life, and am rather conservative in other aspects of my life. Am I the only ‘virtuous’ prostitute, …or do others exist?

For some men, I fit the mold of an ideal partner — other than, perhaps, that I happen to be a prostitute. I attract men who want a serious relationship, yet the problem is my fierce need for self-governance. However, my desire for independence conflicts with my natural urge for needing love and belonging. Again, the story of my life is how to reconcile these conflicting ideals.

It feels good that one of my closest friends is now aware of my lifestyle (that I am an escort). She said to me, teasingly“Do you think you are the Mother Theresa of prostitutes? This was in reference to our conversation about some clients I have encountered. I was telling this friend how I feel sorry for some men, the ones who are sweet but do no possess the social skills to ‘pick up’ women. I told her how I sympathize with some of my clients. For instance, when I meet a man who may not be handsome or socially accepted but has pure and honest heart…I will treat him well, and I want to show him love (even if it’s only for one or two hours…I want to show him my affection, even though I do not actually love him).

It is the greatest injustice that we commit as human beings: denying love to others. Neglecting and lacking love is what contributes to a lot of social problems. Denying someone love from an early age can have many negative reactions in the future. So, always be thankful to be alive. Again, problems we feel here in the West are NOTHING in comparison to the serious issues (such as famine and war) faced by those in the peripheral. Be thankful everyday, and do your best to provide someone (even a stranger) with some compassion. Where does one get the idea that we should deny anyone love? I ask myself this question. I denied my ex the right to continue to love me. We are now separated for a year…and I must admit that I still love him. Yet I also love my Sheik. In a perfect world, I could love all of them and provide my affection to all. Unfortunately the world is full of possessiveness, emotions, and angst.

Escorts, especially the beautiful and successful ones, can develop huge egos. They think their vaginas are gold and superior (when in reality there is no such thing). As result, the money and the attention from men makes these women develop an arrogant attitude. This has happened to me too. However, whenever my egos gets too inflated, the natural equilibrium kicks in to push me back down to earth. Anyway, some girls never come back down to earth (become humble), and resultantly these women treat men who are not handsome or ‘cool’ as inferiors. I have seen this many times: a ‘beautiful’ co-worker of mine belittling and criticizing a lovely and sweet client just because he wasn’t ‘hot.’ Interestingly, those ‘cruel type’ escorts don’t do well long-term in this industry, because decent men don’t come back to see them as a regular client. The rule is that shallow attracts shallow. A beautiful escort with an ugly heart will only attract shallow, empty men (ie: rich coke-addicted clients). As a result, these shallow escorts are the ones who’s beauty and success fades the quickest. And sadly, they end up as most shallow people do (addicted to drugs, partying, materialism, showing off — anything to hide their emptiness).

As cliche as it sounds, it is really true: true beauty does shines from within; it begins in the heart, and therefore a person who’s ugly from within is not beautiful. When egotistical escorts judge clients on shallow basis (just how some clients judge escorts on the same terms), it’s saying more about themselves than the person they are judging. Personally, I have deep empathy for good-hearted men who face rejection, so I try my best to show them affection and provide them with a service that is genuine.

A few instances I have come across clients who had some obvious imperfections (by society’s shallow standards). These men did not fit society’s superficial ideals (ie: following trends, having a certain look, wearing a certain attire, etc). Many naive escort women feel ‘business’ men, who dress sharply in expensive suits, are ideal. For me, shallow-types are for the most part utterly boring and unappealing. Of course, not all men who wear suits subscribe to shallowness, but ‘elite’ men whom behave boastful and value typical ‘mindless’ traits like money/power have no personal value to me. I’ve observed that the men who’ve tipped me the biggest sums where NOT egotistical types, nor were they trying to showcase their wealth. They were wealthy by chance, and did not feel the urge to flaunt it, but rather they were modest and practical

The Concept of using “High-class” as an Escort?

I am skeptical about the name that is assigned to women like me: high-class. It signifies that I am superior over other prostitutes because I’ve conformed to the ideals of the rich. As I get older I’m starting to see how sick this Western society and mentality is: this society brainwashed us to worship the rich, the powerful, and the beautiful (yet, are these people really the ones who are altruistic, humanistic, and empathetic??) Our society tells us to value the worst aspects of society: the elite, “exclusiveness,” the upper class of snobs who exploit the masses. What other name can I advertise myself as other than ‘high-class?’ Should I be the ‘socially conscious and intellectual escort? Unfortunately, to be part of this perverted game, I must conform to what will bring me business: the high-class escort. If only I could advertise myself as: I am a ‘Halal’ Escort…..

Film for thought: I watched an Algerian film that depicts a Muslim prostitute. It’s called Viva L’Algerie. I suppose the character playing the prostitute was ‘halal’…because there is a scene where she wears her modest Islamic outfit (possibly an Abaya) over her sexy slinky dress for work.

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Types of Clients – (An Escort’s Perspective)

I’ve seen all sorts of men from a variety of different backgrounds. Some men often fall into a client stereotype. Of course, there are always exceptions. For instance, there was a client I saw who was infamously known for lifting women over his shoulders, in the air, to lick between their legs. Or other unique clients, like the young 20-year old University student who used to book me for 8 hours at a time to only  kiss and lick my hands, feet, and bottom (I suppose those two were quite unique).

Over the years, I’ve summarized a few commonalities I’ve observed of clients that are typically encountered in the “elite” world of Escorting and Brothels. I’ve discussed these types of clients with other working girls too, and we’ve all agreed on many of them. Take this with a grain of salt , as there is such a richness of diversity among clients that cannot be simplified, categorized and classified.

*I must note that this diversity of clients is less likely when an escort is a courtesan. A courtesan, for the most part, ‘pick’s and chooses’ her clients and see’s only those she finds suitable. The variety of clients I discuss below is from experiences within a brothel setting only. 

1. The Client who always seeks “New” Girls: 

As an independent courtesan, I rarely see these types. Thankfully, undesirable clients like this are easily weeded out through screening. But in the brothel setting, this kind of client exists.

By “new” girls I am referring to girls who are new to the sex industry, new to a particular brothel establishment, or new to an area (city). There are always a handful of these ‘soul-less’ clients who are waiting for the “new” girls, and they often have a disgusting agenda. The reasonings for seeking fresh-meat is simple: they are hoping they can exploit her, for the new girls are presumed to have no sense of control over what is allowed, and what is NOT allowed (in terms of sex). It’s common that these men lure naïve ‘new’ girls to perform sexual acts that she is not comfortable doing. These men are hoping to score big with sexual ‘extras’ that are typically not available (or cost more) from experienced prostitutes. I call these men ‘soul-less’ because they have sex that is essentially meaningless, with no true intimacy — how is it possible to establish meaningful sex when you constantly seek a new body?

Tragically, many newcomers to the sex-industry do not have the assertiveness to set their boundaries. Some of these clients are predators looking to take advantage of them. These type of clients never see a girl more than once, unless they can continue to exploit her. They may appear charming, and even have wealth, but deep down they are deeply misogynistic. Underneath the facade they are truly manipulative. They are also cheap, and do not leave tips for their ladies (they are trying to get as much sexual favors for the least amount of money).

In my personal experience, I have seen these “house regulars,”…as every high-end prostitute experiences being a ‘new’ girl more often than once. Fortunately I am aware of these clients mentality, and soon enough they will realize that they cannot exploit me.

2. The Nice Guy who’s Single, Divorced, or Broke up with his Long-time Girlfriend: The name speaks for itself. Typically, these guys range from early 20’s to early 40’s. They are often the sweetest, most considerate men. They don’t usually see a variety of prostitutes, but rather often stay loyal to one or two escorts once they find a connection. These guys are not the type to look for sex elsewhere (ex: they don’t go to night-clubs, pubs, etc).  This does not imply that they are undesirable by any means. In fact, they are often very desirable men — handsome, financially stable, etc — but they do not conform to social norms of interacting with women at conventional places. They tend to choose escorts that are intellectual and seemingly normal. As a client, they are totally self-less, and enjoying giving pleasure to a woman. It is very important for them to make sure the women is satisfied first.

The problem is, these sweet “Nice Guy” clients fall in love too easily. I actually met a lovely man who fits this mold last week. He’s in his mid-30’s, educated, and he recently got divorced. We had a great time together, and predictably he asked to take me out. I said no. He’s a great guy, but I am not looking for a serious relationship, as I’m already in love with another dream.

A good percent of my clients over the years have been these type of men. My ex-fiance was one. Normally, I always said no when clients asked to take me out, but my ex and I were unique (we had so much in common, and he was the most respectful man I’d ever met). These men are looking for love ….in the wrong place.

3. The “Nice Guy” who’s MARRIED: I see a lot of these men too. Some of my best clients are married. While they are extremely lovely as clients, I hate the idea that they are cheating on their wives. The worst part is that married men are usually so loving, affectionate and respectful, which seems perfect ….BUT! Just knowing that sweet men are cheating translates back to my brain that seemingly pius, good men cheat on their wives! It is a very sad reality that fidelity between couples is diminishing due to living in an age that normalizes perverted, hedonist ideals.

Be sure to check my questions and answers, because there are various sub-types of married clients.

4. The CLIENT (married or unmarried) with the Madonna-Whore Complex: These are the type of clients who want a prostitute to essentially ACT like what she is (in stereotypes): a vulgar, whore. I hate these men, as they have minds tailored by  debauched societal values. They are the ones who watch porn and think that women actually enjoy those grotesque and degrading acts of “sex.” I have no problem with dominance and submission (BDSM) with two consenting partners, who both enjoy the acts. But there are clients who enjoy violence on others, feeling the recipient deserves being exploited, degraded and perhaps, harmed — this is sickening. For instance, a client may think it’s justifiable to treat a prostitute like ‘dirt’ because he’s internalized this idea that ‘whores are worthless.’ Thankfully, my clientele has not consisted of many of these men.  They tend to like the plastic, trashy facade (fake breasts, plumped up injected lips, etc) — sadly.

5. The ASSETS MAN (The Breast men, the Ass Men) Of course, my perspective on these clients is biased, because I have very large natural breasts. So naturally (no pun intended), I get plenty of the big-breast lovers clients. Generally, there are two categories of breast men:

1. The Client who loves large breasts, regardless if they are fake or natural.

2. The Client who ONLY loves big natural breasts.

Breast clients vary in what they want to do with a set of voluptuous breasts. Sometimes they want “Russian” (or “Spanish,” the lingo used in other countries), which is wrapping their penis between a woman’s breasts. Or some men love to suck the woman’s nipples for long durations, or just smothered their face in her breasts. Oh yes, and a minority of clients have a lactating fantasy.

And then, there are the men who love/worship a woman’s bottom (her ass, her buttocks, …whatever you like to call it). But the assmen are often unique. I’ve encounter many different types of ass worshipers. There are some men who just admire the shape of a woman’s bottom, while others admire her actual “hole”……and there is another breed of men who find ultimate pleasure in licking a woman’s backside entirely. These men have no intention of having anal sex necessarily, but rather they just enjoy it as an asset.

Foot Fetish for Escorts

6. The Fetish CLIENT: Fetishes vary from the individual. For instance, clients who love feet have their own methods for enjoying the experience. The same can be said for men who like women to dominate them. I will never forgot the first time I encountered men with fetishes. I was fresh to the industry, and I had no idea that men were so STRANGE!  Why would a man want me to hurt him? Why would a man want to suck my toes? However, now….I see the pleasure in pain and in unconventional things. The modern society socializes us, indirectly, into norms of sex, but in reality there are great varieties of desire outside the current norms. Fetishes are not ‘strange’ to me anymore, because I embrace the variety of sexual desires. I enjoy fetish clients, I prefer them….they are always respectful and very considerate. It’s often a very fun, humorous experience, and I admit that I love when a man worships me at my feet, my ass, my breasts– everywhere.

7. The Pussy Lover: It sounds vulgar, but I couldn’t think of anything else to describe these men. Yes, there are some clients that get their ultimate pleasure in eating a woman’s private parts. A pussy lover client isn’t going down for her pleasure only, it’s more for his pleasure too!

The difference between a ‘pussy lover’ and ‘nice guy’ is that a nice guy will lick a woman and see how her body responds. On the other hand, a ‘pussy lover’ will just go down on a woman, without asking her if she enjoys it or not (again, because it’s for his enjoyment too). Some men don’t realize that the act of ‘going down’ on a woman does not guarantee she will enjoy it. Good oral skills require technique and lots of feedback from the participant (the woman).

To be honest, I really enjoy having a man’s face between my legs. I’ve always found it flattering and arousing, even though some men’s skills are lacking. There are some men who love it as a fetish. A pussy lover will not stop licking, even after the woman has orgasm. He can’t get enough of her juices. Being a prostitute, it’s rather funny because I used to think: How can you lick a woman without knowing her hygiene practices? But then I realized some men do not care, and they desire the scent and taste. They might kiss her skin, and cannot wait to feast between her legs and taste her juicy pussy. Many clients eagerly await to lick and taste me, without any hesitation. Maybe they detect that I like it? Or maybe they see a desirable woman and it’s their instinct to lick her from head-to-toe (and every part gets licked). I embrace men who love to satisfy their women sexually. Pussy-fetish men desire a woman’s scent/fluids (again, it’s to satisfy his pleasure). In any event, scents are very erotic.

8. The IDEAL client (Wham, Bham, Thank You Maam!)

Firstly, I must note my bias in this: I only prefer ‘quick and sweet’ clients when I am in love with another man. Otherwise, I do embrace more intimacy with desirable clients, whom I genuinely enjoy. But most other escorts I’ve spoken with, realistically, prefer quick and easy clients. Yes, there are a minority of escorts who do derive pleasure from seeing clients (myself included), but again, the vast majority of prostitutes simply do not.  

So who is this ‘easy going’ client? Ahh, any woman who escorts will agree with me on this one. This client totally respects our job, and takes it for what is it: strictly business. He visits weekly, maybe bimonthly. The sex is easy, and predictable. It might even be good intimacy and foreplay. He is not demanding, and is considerate. He doesn’t waste time our time, nor does he try to pretend it’s a ‘real’ love connection. Best of all, he leaves a tip, and totally respects that it’s business (no emotional drama).

When I was living overseas, one of my regular clients was this “ideal” client. He came every week. He was so predictable, and easy going. We always had the same conversations, and every time he would tell me I remind him of an ancient Egyptian goddess. He knew I would never date him, so for my comfort he never tried to intrude on my personal life. A quick act of sex..,he’s satisfied sexually and I’m paid, and then we’re finished. That went on for a good year until I left the country. While I was with my ex, I wished all my clients were like Mr ‘quick and easy.’ But in reality, most clients of mine want the closest to ‘love,’ which I don’t blame them.

The reason these “ideal” clients are so rare is because most men want more than sex (with me personally). I have had great regular clients, but depending on my personal circumstances I may prefer appointments that are quick and sweet. Again, it really depends on my personal life. When I am in a relationship, I desire only being with my love. But when I am single, I am more open to more intimacy with good clients. In reality, most of my regular clients are seeking passionate love-making, endless conversation, cuddling, making me orgasm……..which sounds great, but honestly it’s a lot of work to get so intimate with someone I don’t love.

9. The Saudi Student:  They get a category of their own, the Saudi students, because they are unique…and there are so many of them. I will do my best to avoid essentializing, because there are no such thing as innate ‘cultural’ traits. But Saudi students share some commonalities, reflecting their generous government scholarships and freshly tasted Liberal ideas in terms of mingling openly with women. Although Saudi guys have their unique personalities, they also have many traits as clients that have become common. For instance, Saudis students are less experienced in sex — But.. good boys learn quickly.  Funny enough, a Saudi male friend of mine said that his own fellow nationals, “only know how to fuck like donkey’s”….but I would say that’s a bit harsh. I have found many Saudi men to be exceptionally romantic, and eager to please/learn. I mentioned how many of them aroused me despite lack of experience. Contrary to popular myth on the ‘dominating’ Muslim male, I find young Saudi men to be quite soft. They are very affectionate lovers. Again, my experience is biased.

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Stained Veil – How did I end up selling my body?

Often, I sit for hours at night, trying to piece together the reasons I went against social norms and decided to have sex for money. Even more so, how did a girl, from my cultural upbringing, join such an industry?  I could attribute part to instability in my family, but that alone isn’t the main factor. There are many social factors of contemporary Western society that are driving women to sex work. Immense pressure to succeed, to be independent, to be sexy, to appear luxurious — these shallow values, sadly, are projected on young minds. The overarching cause of women entering the sex industry is due to problematic social settings and economic deprivation. These cause instability in families, influence women to objectify themselves via popular media, leave limited options for women who do not desire ‘normal’ low-pay jobs, etc…

As mentioned, my origins are from the East. However, I did not have an entirely traditional upbringing. My Mother is a modern woman, whose own childhood was filled with strictness, and as a result she chose to raise her children (me) in a relatively relaxed manner. Ironically, I often wished my Mother was more strict with me, because her lack of discipline lead to my insatiable curiosity. Yet I don’t blame her, as she could not have foreseen the implications of raising children in a new country.

My Mother, in her younger days, was a very beautiful and desirable woman. So beautiful, young, and naive. And unfortunately, her beauty captivated a womanizing man such a my Father. My Father neglected and mistreated my Mother, as with all the women he’s had. Thankfully, my Mother had more than just her beauty, and she was brave enough to leave my Father. In our culture, divorce, especially occurring 20-odd years ago, was taboo, and sometimes equated to social-suicide in Eastern cultures.

The brick-wall of family security was broken shortly after my birth, but nonetheless my Mother remarried to a good man. I grew up in a middle to upper class neighbourhood, and my peers and I were accustomed to always having the best of the best. In many ways, I was a privileged child, and overly indulged (which hurt me later, as being privileged made me unable to accept the transition of being relatively poor years later). When I entered high-school, my family security broke. My Mother became separated, and our family socioeconomic status went dwindling. It was a difficult transition.

During subsequent years, my innocence faded. I developed insecurities that I believe stemmed from growing pressures of being a young lady in a Western society. I was growing into a woman, a very attractive young girl. I was getting lots of attention from men, and I liked it. Somehow, I believed I had to please everyone. I started to realize how my looks opened doors, and made people desire me (the wrong people, of course). However, I had a mind. I was well-traveled as a teenager, and seeing so many countries and cultures didn’t allow me to neglect my mind. The fact that my mind was constantly observing life, trying to analyze things, often lead me to feel isolated. I adored the attention I got for my beauty, but I also felt deeply neglected as a person. I internalized this idea (thanks to the media) that my worth was based on my beauty only — back then, I had no idea that shallowness equates to emptiness.

When I first had sex for money, I was barely of legal age. I was still finishing my last month of high-school. I was conflicted between two sides of myself: the one that was passionate about the world and knowledge, and the other side who was consumed by society and it’s pressures to be attractive. My curious mind lead to look at the “escorting” section of the daily newspaper. I was curious what these ads were about. I didn’t even know what an ‘escort’ was. I thought prostitutes could only be desperate women with heavy drug problems. I had no idea that beautiful girls have sex with business men and get paid for it. But once I discovered the financial rewards, I was seduced by the idea of selling myself — it was my ticket to living a more ‘comfortable’ life.

So I tried it. I worked one night. I slept with men, all of whom were decent and treated me with respect. Most of them were business men, some had wives or didn’t. I made a lot of money, and without effort. At that time I had no idea what “good” sex was. I didn’t realize that men got so easily aroused by just looking at me, and that the actual sex only lasts under a minute. I liked the fact that I didn’t have to do anything ‘disgusting’ and condoms were mandatory for my protection. Strangely enough, I felt empowered by the money and the admiration from men. Despite that, I was terrified to do it again after my first try. I never thought I would do it again..

But what happens is that……the money, the lack of effort and the quickness of it, the admiration of men….becomes an addiction.

After six months, I tried again. Like the first time, I stopped and swore I couldn’t do it again. But it was just too easy, and the clients treated me so well. So I went back, and it slowly turned into a lifestyle. Thanks to God, my family condition improve and went back to middle-class status. Initially, I worked periodically to fund all my desires for luxury, as I had felt deeply deprived. Sadly, back then, I had internalized the idea of shallow beauty. With the money, I transformed myself into an elegant, elite young lady, draped in designer clothes and items.

Only later, I realized that this job came with implications….

…to be continued

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