Normal Men Don’t Marry Prostitutes – Who Will?

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A “normal” man is your everyday guy-next-door, with a relatively normal family, a normal job, normal hobbies and a normal set of friends/peers. This man will never marry a prostitute (knowingly, that is). Why? He is too busy to ponder deeply about prostitutes, or the plight of downtrodden people, generally. He would be afraid to be associated with people outside the realm of normal. He would be focused on keeping up appearances. He will be too concerned about what his family thinks. He would be too afraid of what others might say. This “normal” man is likely to be a “great” client to a prostitute, but he will never marry a prostitute. He may love her, lust for her and cheat on his wife with a prostitute, but he will never swim against the tide to give a prostitute the full dignity of marriage(**Mind you, not all prostitutes desire or want marriage at all, or with such a person**)

The only case where this “normal” man would marry a prostitute is if her past is unknown (kept a secret). Some prostitutes do hide their past and revert back into normative society.

Who Marries a Prostitute?

A prostitute will attract a lot of men whom are not good for her: weirdos, creeps. Men with unwholesome lifestyles and intentions (ie: swingers, players, pimps, predators/abusers). A prostitute should never associate with these sort of men (but sadly, prostitutes often do get in relations with such individuals due to being naive or getting ‘finessed’). Aside from the unwholesome, there are some decent men who marry prostitutes.

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Wajid Ali Shah (d. 1887), last ruler of Lucknow, married a courtesan.

 

There are good kinds of men who will marry a prostitute. But these kind of men are rare. They are rare because most people, generally, are too afraid to go against societal norms. It’s understandable — life is much easier when one sticks to what the majority does. After all, prostitutes are heavily stigmatized and hated by wider society. Only a man with an immensely solid self-esteem and high emotional intellect can overlook all the stigma and realize prostitute’s humanity.

The good man for a prostitute *might* be normal looking/acting. But deep down, he will be immensely unique. He will possess empathy for others. He is one who dismisses and/or critiques societal norms that negate wholeness or humanity. In other words, this kind of man is deep and highly moral. He may have been broken himself, which is why he has depth and a deeper understanding of life. He won’t care what society thinks (marrying a prostitute), because he knows the value of humanity over ego. He will fight to protect his beloved. Once again, he might look like one of the “normal” men with the conventional lifestyle, but deep down he is much more unconventional. Of course, a lot of prostitutes like myself are also quite “normal” acting, but are rather unconventional behind closed doors. 

Depiction of a “True Lover” in Film: Water (2005)

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Water (Director: Deepa Mehta, 2005) 

In the film Water (2005), the character Narayan, played by John Abraham, is the epitome of an empathetic, true lover. The character Narayan came from a “normal” upper class family. Compared to his peers, who could care less about the well-being of prostitutes and can easily reduce a prostitute to “she’s just a whore,” Narayan was different. He was disturbed by the inhumane, cruel norms within Indian society. Thus, he became an activist, and lived out his activism through action. He fell in love with a young widow, who was prostituting herself to survive. Despite he knew his Mother’s disapproval, he was confident in his decision to marry a widow (a deeply stigmatized “undesirable” woman for marriage in pre-Modern Hindu society). He was confident because he knew he was doing the right thing.

The most powerful part of the film is when Kalyani, the widowed prostitute, bares her soul and makes herself extremely vulnerable. Kaylani was expecting to be rejected for exposing herself (ie: loss of her physical beauty, and exposing herself as a stigmatized woman). But despite that,  Narayan looks at her and says, “I love you even more now,” and made preparations to marry her. His powerful action symbolized true love — a man who loves their beloved in any condition. He was swimming against the tide, and yet he remained determined. That scene always makes me cry, as such love is only imaginable.

Prostitutes Relationships with Drug Dealers & Gangsters 

Aside from creeps and good men, prostitutes commonly bond with men whom are involved in the underworld, or the illegal trade economy. These men are drug dealers, gang members, or are somehow involved in the black market economy. While a lot of gangster-type of men fall into the ‘creep’ category and are harmful for prostitutes, some of them, ironically, are actually caring, loving, protective and loyal. Class is also a factor — there are different classes of gangsters just as there are different classes of sex workers. For instance, some high class prostitutes associate with high ranking gangsters/mafia (I, personally, avoid mingling with such people due to lack of common interests).

Why do Prostitutes often form Relationships with Drug Dealers and Gangsters?

Both come from similar backgrounds of childhood neglect, broken homes, and/or poverty, etc. They find commonality and comfort in their shared experience of trauma and being ostracized (outcasted) from ‘polite’ society. Drug dealers and gangsters are less likely to care what society considers a “proper” wife, and this is because they have less family input into their lives or their families are less concerned about keeping up appearances. Vice versa. There are indeed a lot of scum who are drug dealers (ie: those who do it to floss (ego and fame), and/or ones who pimp and exploit women into the sex industry). But not all gangsters are the same — some are vehemently against that and are protective of women. The “good” gangsters are in the game due to circumstances, and they often want out of that life (very much like most prostitutes).

Over the years, I have occasionally come across these kind of men as clients. Strangely enough, I often felt chemistry or somewhat connected to clients whom were affiliated to the underworld (the kind whom are low-key, sophisticated and un-flashy). The ones I liked were generous and took pride in caring for and protecting women. They were also emotionally deep, and we had a lot in common in terms of struggles and coming from dysfunctional family backgrounds. One, in particular, that I connected with was a man who left the illegal life behind. He told me he had spent time in prison when he was younger and “foolish.” When he got out, he changed his ways and made a better life for himself. We spoke about our broken families and circumstances, and somehow, it made things more passionate. Something about pain is erotic — people who come from pain sometimes express their passion with more intensity. At the same time, anyone who has been through struggle is often dealing with un-healed trauma, which is hazardous for a healthy relationship. I purposely avoided getting serious with gangsters for this reason, but also because they were outside my Islamic criteria and personal interests.


 

Dear Readers: What is your take on this topic? Would you marry a prostitute? For Sex Workers, what sort of man would you marry? Are you married to a prostitute? Are you are prostitute who is married? Share your experience!

 

60 Comments

Filed under Facts About the Sex Industry, The Escorting Business

60 responses to “Normal Men Don’t Marry Prostitutes – Who Will?

  1. Joe

    And by the way, she left the profession for me

  2. Joe

    I was a young man that used to frequent escorts at a men’s club. It was three or four that I saw as regulars but one that was my favorite. The club was eventually closed by the government. I remained in touch with my favorite privately. After a few months of seeing her privately she actually proposed to me. I told her don’t you think we need to see each other in a regular dating atmosphere for a little while and she agreed. After dating for a few years, I proposed to her and she said yes. We have yet not yet married, because tragedy struck a few months after we were engaged. I am helping her fight the Battle of her life she is fighting cancer. Things are looking good as she is scheduled for a transplant. I am by her side everyday come good or bad and what may happen. we have both used up most of our life savings because she does not have insurance. And even though neither of us have money we are still together. we look forward to the day that her surgery is done which will be in a few weeks and after her recovery and released from the hospital, her moving in with me and us making plans for our wedding. I do not care about her background we had a long discussion about it and I know the truth. I see that it was just a job and that she needed to do what she needed to do. She is my soulmate my one true love my goddess. I will be with her for as long as possible. I love her more now and have trouble finding the words to describe how much I love her. I will keep you informed at a later date as to how the surgery goes thank you for a chance to talk.

  3. John

    You are not a stereotypical prostitute. You are intellectual, emotionally deep, and religious. And I enjoy reading your blog. But, I must say, I’m always struck by the Fact that your views on men are very asymmetrical in relation to your view of women (particularly prostitutes).

    For instance, you say that men don’t want to marry prostitutes because of societal norms and that men who marry prostitutes have immensely solid self esteem, etc. And then you talk about unwholesome men who are swingers, etc. and that prostitutes should never associate with this type of man. I think that many men consider prostitutes unwholesome. I’m not saying that prostitutes are unwholesome. But neither do I think of swingers as unwholesome. And I happen to have had a very emotionally intelligent teacher in high school who I later learned was a swinger.

    Then you say that you gangsters and prostitutes come from similar, often traumatic backgrounds. Then you say that you avoid getting serious with these men because unsealed trauma makes for unhealthy relationships. Yea. Well, that’s why most men are not going to marry a prostitute. Exactly. And then you say that they are outside of your Islamic criteria. Well, traditionally, prostitutes are considered outside of most Abrahamic religious criteria (yes, I know About Jesus and Mary Magdalene).

    It seems to me that you are exceptionally traditional and judgmental and yet, simultaneously, very much a part of the societal group that you stigmatize in your writing.

    I can’t tel if you just enjoy turning the tables on men or if you really believe all that you say. To me, it’s obvious that you have either a blind spot or a very skewed view of men. Either way, that’s why I can’t see myself ever marrying a prostitute. If you have a blind spot, you are unreflective was normative society. If you have a skewed view of men, you have emotional damage wrought, not only by childhood trauma, but the trauma inflicted upon you by your profession. I doubt that a prostitute could ever be genuinely emotionally open with me or engage in mutual dependence (not to be confused with codependence).

    I don’t think I’m being judgmental, just pragmatic. But, I do believe that love is outside of one’s control. Who knows….

    • escortdiary

      @John,

      I am mindful to not generalize men or women in black and white terms. For example, I say things like “some men”, or “many women…” when referring to an idea or argument.

      I don’t hold views that all men are X or all women are Y. There is good and bad in all groups of people.

      You brought up some interesting points which I will elaborate more on a bit later. I understand my writings can come off as confusing so I do need to clarify more in this post. Thank you kindly for giving your input so I can follow up on points you have mentioned.

      Well wishes
      -Sahar

      • Woodbine

        Dear John and Suhar,

        I am not sure what to make of this exchange here and here. It started out rather analytical and became much more personal. John there is a mysterious touch as your notes start out being rather curious, but later take on the quality of being rather accusatory. It is evident here the way violence without recognizing permeates everyday speech and contact.

        What is that we as a culture (all cultures have it) alow our hurt pain to manifest as violence to another? Why on the other had don’t cultures more universally embrace social connection as a strength? Social connection as a way of increasing the likelihood people can self regulate? Is it because our definition of violence is so narrow we fail to see the need for non-voidance? Is it because as children we all experience some form of violence and accept it as the norm of human existence?

        One of the reasons that I enjoy reading Suhar is because her Blog does not appear to be advocating ideology but more a search for understanding her self in cultures which by definition can be isolating. She works with an amazing array of people in ways that enable her to feel the physiology of people in ways most others never will. She can feel for kind husbands that lack intimacy and connection with one they love as well as the mate who is so detached they can not be mate at all. She marvels at her friends, relatives and clients’ strengths, their weaknesses, their compassion and their lack of regard for anyone’s well being including their own. In her writing we see both connection and the love, the joy and anger that comes with dealing with met and unmet human needs, and sometimes I hear violence of speech that comes forcibly demanding unmet needs.

        So John and Suhar, I don’t see you any differently than I see any one else. We are a combination of many things. This Blog seems to dwell on people’s pain. Sometimes that pain is expressed as how to meet unmet needs by collaborating with others, conversely other times it is expressed by separation and degradation of others. And in Suhar’s case she must deal with people who seek her services with the intention of harm either through pleasure from malice or inability to empathize with another human. Damn right she should be angry and scared too.

        On the other hand Suhar also writes of connection and compassion people can have to form a safe community of support. These posts glow with what is non-violent and connective within and between people.

        But as I understand Suhar’s writing here, a lot of it is her trying to clarify life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in broad tapestry of human cultures where dependence on each other is paramount but so often not achieved because of voidance – meeting one’s needs at the expense of someone else.

      • escortdiary

        @Woodbine,

        I appreciate your words so much. Well wishes and blessings

        Love
        Sahar

    • John

      Woodbine, I don’t mean to come across as hostile or rude. I just see Sahar as a practitioner of Jnana Yoga or a follower of Socrates and his dictum, “Know thyself.” And I view myself in this way as well.

      I’m just pointing out my perceptions. And I’m really curious as to whether I’m misunderstanding Sahar or if Sahar is misunderstanding Sahar. Most productive dialogue is two people who misunderstand both their own and each other’s thoughts. Dialogue clarifies, to the listener, what the speaker meant to say. But it also provides the speaker with clarity about what he or she is trying to understand about their own thoughts during a dialogue.

      I certainly don’t hold myself above the same types of critique. For instance, I notice that I feel more irritated when I read Sahar’s inconsistencies and, what appear to me to be biases, than I do when reading some of the fairly rude comments made by men on this site. This may be because of some psychological issue I have with women. But, it also may be because I take Sahar’s thoughts more seriously than some of the men. So, when I ask some of these questions, sometimes I’m really wondering if she will point out how I have misinterpreted something she wrote because of my own biases.

      I can respect someone a lot and not feel the need to hide my thoughts and feelings on an issue. My only obligation is to communicate respectfully and then to spend time trying to understand the response—which I hope is thought provoking, honest, and respectful in return.

      I also like Sahar—from what I know about her through her writing. I wonder sometimes if she is not so in need of financial and emotional independence that she misses the potential for opening up enough to rely upon another person. Commitment is giving up some control. It sounds to me like Sahar finds that nearly impossible to do. That’s fine. I don’t think it’s bad to be independent. And, I don’t know Sahar personally—she may have this rich personal life that she chooses not to share on this blog. But, it’s rewarding to depend on someone else if you find the right person. I hope Sahar finds that person. And I hope that I learn to open up more and depend on my significant other more than I do right now (I see prostitutes in large part because I don’t feel that I can be completely emotionally open with my wife).

      I have great respect for Sahar and wish her the best. If she won the lottery, I think she would be an intellectual of some kind (an academic or journalist or activist). I would too if I was not engaged in a job that takes an emotional toll on me—all because I feel that I have to maintain a certain lifestyle.

      We are all much more alike than different.

      And thank you, Woodbine, for giving me an opportunity to think through your comments and clarify my thoughts to both myself and you!

      • Woodbine

        Dear John and Sahar,

        I originally wrote to both of you because I heard a certain amount of pain. Although I don’t know specifically what inconsistencies John is speaking of, I noticed that his words touched Sahar. I brought up the subject of violence in speech because I heard in both of your commentary an anger that came across to me as violence. All too often our cultures promote violence (over powering another) to meet ones needs in responding to important emotions. Anger is a wonderful bell weather of how our brain is reacting to a situation. Violence or punishment is not a natural antidote for the emotions of anger or fear or shame. Violence is the inability to connect with others or simply to engage in normal conflict.

        I don’t know what triggers either Sahar or John but something most certainly does. Perhaps he feels attacked for the contempt Sahar seems to have for married clients. Indeed some things tiger Sahar to be angry as well. As community we are experiencing the possibility the two of you painfully triggering in different ways at different times that may bring you into painful conflict. Conflict is a joy of human condition whereas painful conflict is not. What I hear is the possibility of painful conflict within you, between you and as community.

        John actually brings up a way to examine the communication of divergent emotion AKA conflict. “Most productive dialogue is two people who misunderstand both their own and each other’s thoughts. Dialogue clarifies, to the listener, what the speaker meant to say. But it also provides the speaker with clarity about what he or she is trying to understand about their own thoughts during a dialogue.”

        If the situation is ill defined as it always is, start pursuing John’s suggestion by adding a beginning element. First ascertain from the person raising the issue (John is the receiver), exactly “what was said or done.” This is important because the topic, at out set, is to free ranging, topic changing, where by the essence of the conflict can not be defined and allowed to flower in the manor John has out lined above. Sahar’s writing is to vast to easily give an example so let’s use John’s being over the map the most recent being if Sahar won the lottery would she have a ______ life? Nice rhetoric but sort of the thing lets people avoid discovering the essence of their meaning, truth – conflict.

        There actually is a technique for closely defining what was said or done so that the parties, can contain, be precise enough, to channel their dialogue in such a way it increases the chances they will be touched and moved in such a way they achieve some kind of mutual understanding.

        At that point they are more able to figure out ways to live in harmony on the same earth. Note: I don’t say resolve conflict, great if it can happen, but figuring out how to change painful conflict into ever day irretraceable conflict is of greatest importance. Take for examples husbands and wives who can’t agree on how to raise children and other things vital to marital harmony. It is not making a deal to ignore conflict AKA “agreeing to disagree” no more that resolving conflict; it is figuring out how to manage conflict and the emotions that accompany conflict. How do the parties begin to approach conflicts to let them flower into mutual understanding; so that meaningful change can take place?

        Sahar, I think we can see John beginning to go through this process of identifying “what was said or done”. For example he is reflective of the way he is impacted by rude male commenters (I’d add many spiteful comments by female readers to) and what he defines as your inconsistency. I’m guessing that might have something to do with your statements on married clients. He talks about wanting more emotional connection with his wife and wonders if you have attachment support. So what actually was the precise act, dead “that was said or done” that prompted him? The intension is not to find fault with you, Sahar. His being exact creates a way to contain the dialogue so it is less likely to be free ranging rants and more likely to bring about mutual understanding. Separately a community fascinator can help him to narrowly define the act what was said or done.

        This is just one aspect of creating the conditions so that a restorative process can begin. People have to know what it is they are about to agree to in order follow restorative procedures. First the doer or actor has to agree that they said or did what ever it was the receiver (John) narrowly defined. In other words this is not about shame, the guilt or the innocence it is about understanding and letting all know what the harm meant and decrease the likelihood the harm will be repeated. As a side note oddly everyone in community did or said something that contributed to the painful conflict but that is reveled later in circle.

        Surprisingly it is possible to discover the good reasons someone did what they did which makes more likely the community taking action to reducing the likelihood of future harm.

        That’s why following a restorative process increases the likelihood of restoring well-being. How that would work here given the inability to meet in person, the extreme privacy concerns which rule out email and Skype, I’m unsure? As part of the affected community I am hearing from the both of you an invitation to exploring the nature of the conflicts within your selves, those between you and how those conflicts affect your communities.

        Sahar and John I don’t know if you will find this useful as a paradigm shift but it does offer an alternative to classic rhetoric with competing well written essays at which you are both highly skilled. Woodbine

        P.S The two other aspects of John and Sahar’s communication can be found as follows.

        https://exoticescortdiary.com/2019/06/03/normal-men-wont-marry-prostitutes/#comment-13552

        https://exoticescortdiary.com/2019/06/03/normal-men-wont-marry-prostitutes/#comment-13553

      • John

        Woodbine, I feel that you have understood my intentions. I appreciate that since it is not common to have genuine conversations on anonymous blogs.

        You mentioned a technique, “a technique for closely defining what was said or done so that the parties, can contain, be precise enough, to channel their dialogue….” I was intrigued. But, I didn’t catch what that technique is. Is there a name for it or a book or article that describes this technique?

  4. Lola

    I have to say all these negative men that are saying they won’t marry a working girl is not because you are a real man but insecure that she will always take a good care of herself and she is always financially and mentally physically independent. And the real truth is most working girls will never pass the boundaries so even if you ask her to marry you she WON’T.

  5. Patrick

    Only cucks and weak manginas marry prostitutes. I would never date or marry a prostitute. Why? Because I’m a man with standards abd a back bone. Unlike some of the other “men” that I’m surrounded by.

  6. Armand Duval

    I dated a Russian courtesan 5 years ago. I had no problems at all with her job but I was very afraid of pimps and mafias. That reasonable fear took a tool in our relationship.
    A person I know (by the way, a doctor who used to work in a brothel, brothels are legal here) told me that he used to date a Romanian courtesan for one year and after that year the pimp apperead and ask him for the total amount of money. He had to run away and leave the country for 2 years.
    But, despite of this reasonable fear, I didn´t notice any pimps or mafias during our relationship at all. She was totally independent.
    Eventually girlfriend went to work in Germany, then to NY.
    We lost contact but since last Christmas we restarted contact. Now she lives in another town in my country and we are going to meet again in my town, in some days.
    This time I think I will ask her to get married. I guess, one married, it is pontless to feel fear of pimps. Only about the goverment in case of divorce.

  7. Dont be a Cuck

    Only spineless Cucks marry a Whore.Dating is ok though.

    • escortdiary

      @ Don’t Be a Cuck and Alex,

      My blog is not a place for sociopaths to vent their hate and anti-social personality traits. Your comments speak for themselves and showcase your character. There is zero trace of constructive critical thinking from your commentary, so you are blocked from further discussion. I am assuming this is because you two are either very young, lack life experience or are indeed full fledged sociopaths.

      The hate you demonstrate shows you did not develop a proper sense of emotional intellect. Likely this inability stems from severe childhood issues or trauma, so I sincerely hope you develop introspection and develop empathy one day.

      Sahar

  8. Kyle

    I am in a relationship with a prostitute. We are engaged to be married. She let’s men touch her while she gives them hand jobs. I don’t know how I feel about it honestly. I am a broken man and she is the best thing that I have.

    • Alex

      You can do better than her dude. Call off the wedding, dump her, work on yourself and when the times right find a better quality woman. You can do better than some skank.

    • Dont be a Cuck

      Quit being a pathetic Cuck and get out ASAP!!

    • escortdiary

      @Kyle,

      Thanks for sharing that. Has your partner ever had therapy or been to a counsellor? Most sex workers come from a background of trauma and childhood neglect in varying forms. What’s important is that she copes with her trauma in healthy ways (likewise the same for you). It’s also important to know her goals in life and your goals — do they match? Does she plan to stay in the sex industry once you are married?

      I understand it must be hard to be with a woman you love and have other men touch her. It’s normal to feel some type of way about it. I can say that a sex worker can love a man and truly be loyal to him while still working (she can feel completely indifferent to clients). If you want her to quit, then talk about it. Perhaps see a counsellor together?

      She might be hesitant to quit for a variety of reasons. For instance, she might be scared to rely on others (as trusting people has harmed her in the past), so as defensive mechanism she wants to keep her source of self-reliance. She might also like her work and feel positive about being a sex worker (in that case, you have to decide if you are willing to be in such a unique scenario). Also, if she does quit, you need to demonstrate the ability to care for her both emotionally and financially. Are you able to do that?

      Please ignore the hateful comments who have nothing nice to say about escorts and your situation — these mentalities with low emotional intellect will always exist and bully others into their hateful narratives.

      Well wishes,

      Sahar

  9. Patrick

    Escorts are funny, and you exhibit some of their more absurd prejudices. You go on and on about how narrow-minded and judgmental the “common” people are, and yet you arrogantly place men into boxes that fit your own contemptuous worldview.

    I made the foolish mistake of dating an escort once, someone who saw me initially as a client but we grew closer. I was young, infatuated with her beauty, and most important of all I was depressed and unsatisfied with my career and personal life. Her selfishness and vacuity were on full display when we spent time together, but in my stupor of misplaced love and lust I blinded myself to her grisly personality. Our sex was phenomenal and she was happy that I would listen to her. I genuinely enjoyed getting to know her as a human being. Of course, she had no interest in me as a person. When I spoke about myself she lost interest because she was a self-obsessed narcissist. Like almost all of the women in this “industry”, she was utterly incapable of giving genuine love to a man (and likely any other human being).

    You are the same. When you speak of love you speak only of what a man can give you, both materially and emotionally. Woe to the man who loves you, because you only seek to drain his energies from him. Apart from your body, you will give nothing back. You are an empty shell, and when your looks leave you (which is inevitable) you will be lonely and your misery will swallow you up.

    • Alex

      They are the living embodiment of narcissism.

    • John

      “When you speak of love you speak only of what a man can give you, both materially and emotionally.”

      I agree Patrick. I’ve read a lot of Sahar’s writing. It’s all through provoking and deep. I see strong emotions in her writing. I see scintillating intellect. I see a kind of openness and honesty. But, I have never read anything that she has written that did not portray her ideal relationship as one in which a man is devoted to her materially and emotionally and in which the woman simply reciprocated in a transitory way that preserved the woman’s material and emotional independence.

      The other thing I’ve noticed—and I commend Sahar for her willingness to entertain widely divergent viewpoints—I’ve never read anything in which she has internalized or legitimated a certain type of man’s point of view. Namely, there is something primordial to most human’s needs for exclusivity in a relationship. While others may have expressed this in a rude way, I have to say that I don’t see accepting a woman’s infidelity as human (particularly for a man). Any man who accepts this either is not emotionally connected with the woman or is in complete misery and lacks all self respect. It’s bizarre to me that a man would let a woman he loves sleep with men so that she can maintain her financial independence. It’s delusional think in my opinion. In my experience, Sahar will call this opinion soulless. But, I disagree. Any man who can accept his woman sleeping with other men, whether for pleasure, for money, or to maintain her independence is the man who has no soul. That Sahar does not accept this as true, if not self evident, that she will not entertain the idea as potentially valid is…. just a head scratcher for me.

      • escortdiary

        @John

        I have not stated that male lovers should accept their women continuing to see clients. Indeed that is traumatic for the male lover. But there needs to be patience, communication and understanding to reach commitment and monogamy.

  10. Alex

    The only “men” who marry prostitutes are spineless, weak, effeminate and cucks. I have nothing against prostitutes but men shouldn’t marry one because they might have serious baggage, STDs and has no emotions. An anthropoid. To any men who read this don’t marry a prostitute. Grow some balls and don’t be afraid to have standards. #MGTOW

    • escortdiary

      @Alex,

      Bravo, thank you for showcasing your sociopathic woman-hater group. I say sociopathic because to label all prostitutes as subhuman, and how they are not worthy of being treated with dignity shows your lack of emotional intelligence (empathy).

      Of course, a sociopath like yourself who cannot empathize about the lives and feelings of downtrodden people should NEVER marry a prostitute. THANK YOU for not wanting to marry us, because we don’t want to marry you either! Your kind hates on men who treat women with dignity. Your hate likely is a self fulfilling prophecy, so that when you meet women, women are repulsed by your negative energy. Your negative experience with women reaffirms your hateful beliefs. You failed to self reflect and improve yourself. You find solace in being hateful and blaming everyone else. The men you call “spineless and “effeminiate” are likely wholesome, masculine men. Due to your hatred and envy, you have to degrade decent men into derogatory names — it’s psychological projection, because those negative qualities are actually a reflection of yourself.

      By the way…Mgtow are an equivalent to the radical feminist agenda. Both prey on men/women who’ve been hurt by oppressive elements in society. But rather than look at broader social structures causing social problems, these groups direct their frustrations towards the opposite gender. The agenda is to create chaos between men and women, a form of divide and conquer within society. Kinda sad you fell victim to that.

      -Sahar

      • Alex

        To call me a sociopath is quite asinine because you have never met me and to call a decentralized group such as MGTOW equilavent to feminazism is laughable. Clearly you lack logic and reasoning.

      • Alex

        By the way I got a saying that my people say when other people piss us off and it’s fuck you. So fuck you cunt. Enjoy your cats, boxed wine and arrogant behavior. You are not morally superior to me. You are beneath me. I hope you are prepared to be spinster because you are going to be shocked when you won’t find a man that will wife you up. Do you know why? Because you’ve had 500 miles of cock run up through 6-8 inches at a time. No man will ever marry another man’s sex toy.

      • escortdiary

        @Alex

        When you referred to your people as “my people”, do you mean your little online group? Damn, that’s hella gangster. LMAO. By the way, I am a Muslim woman, so replace that box of wine with cups of tea.

        SubhanAllah.

        -Sahar

  11. Mia

    This is so true. It’s extremely rare to find a guy who is okay with it. I used to date without telling the guy but I found someone who knows and he’s okay with it. Not talking about marriage. But just dating is harder for any sex worker.

  12. SeanB

    I am curious as to how one “entertains” a sugar daddy without venturing into prostitution. I mean, if you do not have “consensual sex” after he “pays you only for your time”, I imagine you would not get a lot of repeat business.
    Then again, my experience with marrying and divorcing one (finalized next month, thank God!) May or may not be typical. It’s a world that I honestly want no part of.

    • escortdiary

      @SeanB,

      Sugaring is the same thing as prostitution — just some people involved are delusional and in denial about this reality.

      • SeanB

        I agree. I am as far as this situation as my divorce permits. I. despise everything about prostitution and the women who engage it

  13. Elle

    Hello.

    I’m a sex worker, although I haven’t ventured into prostitution yet. I do erotic videos, chatting, and have entertained sugar daddies.

    When I met my boyfriend, I was just starting my camming career. I told him I was starting on a site, so he came to my chatroom and paid hundreds just to make my room score high, then politely left because he’s not a customer. It made me feel so happy that he supported me and trusted me to make my own life choices. I never asked him to do that for me.

    I love my boyfriend very much. Although he’s not a “gangster,” he did come from an abusive past and life on the street. When we spoke, I felt a very strong connection to him because we can understand each other’s pain, and his sense of humor is similar to mine.

    When I talk about pursuing more ‘risky’ things (such as dancing at dirty clubs or wanting to meet sugar daddies), he feels concerned for me, but he ultimately trusts my judgement. It makes me feel so much deep affection for him that he only wants the best for me.

    While he has not collared me yet, nor married me, I’m looking forward to it. I consider him my family. When we almost broke up before, while it was very emotional, we both made it clear we could never abandon one another. Even if our relationship doesn’t work out someday, I believe our genuine bond and respect for each other would lead to a good friendship. I’m happy to have somehow found, out of everyone in the world, someone to share life with no matter what path we take.

    • escortdiary

      Dear Elle,

      Thank you for sharing your experience. I am glad to hear you have a supportive partner. A normal man should feel somewhat protective of you being in the sex industry — if he is too supportive, then I’d be worried he’s leaning towards a pimp or man with no moral grounding

      While he has not collared me yet, nor married me, I’m looking forward to it. I consider him my family. When we almost broke up before, while it was very emotional, we both made it clear we could never abandon one another. Even if our relationship doesn’t work out someday, I believe our genuine bond and respect for each other would lead to a good friendship. I’m happy to have somehow found, out of everyone in the world, someone to share life with no matter what path we take.

      If you are looking forward to being married to this man, then you need to put him on that shot clock. If you have been with him long enough, then what’s stopping him from marrying you? Don’t ever neglect your boundaries.

      Anyway, I wish you the best

      Love,
      Sahar

  14. Sean B.

    Oh boy. Would I marry a prostitute? Well, I have, and am mid divorce, and never would again.
    She and I met at my father’s funeral in 2016; I hadn’t been to my home neighborhood in years. She had moved to my old neighborhood and was already friends with the rest of my family. One of my brother’s wives would babysit her disabled son while she was “at work.” She also has her Master’s Degree, (I will not disclose her emphasis) She and I had a good rapport, but I never thought she’d be interested in me. The day after I met her, my brother’s were dying to tell me, “Dude, she’s a porn star and a hooker!” And they attempted to show me her porn sites online. I declined at the time, out of respect for her privacy, I felt it would be invasive.
    Over the years, we maintained social media contact, and had some great debates. I began to develop a crush on her, but didn’t want to act on it. At some point, she announced that she was leaving the sex worker industry, and I was happy for her. Her game plan –so she said at the time–was to relocate to a certain state in the Northeast where she could have adequate affordable medical care for her son. Although that was ONE of her reasons for that location, her other reasons were apparent to me later.
    She began to approach me romantically, and I had split from a loveless marriage some 5 years earlier, and was flattered…..and gullible. Honestly, had she not indicated a desire to leave sex work, I would have friendzoned her and not given a thought to a relationship with her. But since she was retiring (so I thought) I was receptive to the idea. I was worried that jealousy until she retired would be a factor, and it indeed was. Although I thought I was being supportive of her when she was at work, I woukld drink when she was working to try to take my mind off what she was doing….no man in earth is OK with the thought of his woman having sex with another guy. This upset her, and she became less open about her job. Also, when she’d vent to me about an awful client experience (chugging urine, gagging/vomit) I would say things like, “Thank god its over soon, I hate that you go through that.” I thought I was being supportive by saying that, she’d get offended; saying I was invalidating her entire career.
    Still, we got engaged and planned a wedding and marriage. We had a major argument when she wanted to turn one more trick (so she said) after she retired I objected. She argued that “Turning tricks after I retire doesn’t make me any less retired.” (!) I argued that it means 100% that. We almost split then. She tearfully stated that she was coerced INTO sex work, and wanted to leave on her own terms. I caved in and looked the other way while she had sex with another man 20 days before our wedding. THAT was my fatal mistake. Once she saw that she could screw another man and that I would put up with it, she lost all respect for me as a man and began to treat me like dirt.
    The morning after our wedding, she began to insult me all day long and complain about literally everything I said and did. She began to withhold affection and sex. We moved across the country, my pets left in the care of my brother until we could get a doghouse (her plan was NEVER, I realized later). She began to make me feel unwelcome at home. She would complain to her fans, orbiters and flying monkeys on social media how “awful” I was. Within days, she removed every wedding picture from social media; photos of us as a family she would crop so that just she and her son in them, and treated me like an intruder.
    The meaner she acted, the harder I tried to be nice to ameliorate her nastiness and make her feel safe. I saw evidence that she did not delete her client contact info, and was reconnecting with clients in Boston, NYC and Philly. She only got worse (since she had no respect for me) I finally asked her if she regrets marrying me, she said she does regret and that she wants me to leave. So I left. On my way out, I did say things that could be perceived as insulting, as I was stinging from her actions, but they were true and she needed to hear them.
    Now throughout our relationship, she would tell horror stories of abuse from former partners. I believed her. The only real abuse I can see are self inflicted cuts on her left forearm and right upper thigh. (She even displayed them on facial abuse dot com) After I left, she began shitposting ME on social media, stating that I was violent and abusive to her. Since I know the truth, I now doubt all her stories, since she is now saying the same of ME.
    I spent 3 weeks visiting relatives and friends on my way back to Georgia, and saw a lawyer when I got home. The day after I got home, she served me with a restraining order (!) I sent her divorce papers, and am waiting to see what is next. Every few days, one of her orbiters, flying monkeys, fanboys sends me a message to yell at me for abusing her, but nothing is further from the truth. I likely damaged her ego by leaving when she asked me to. She even tried to have me SWATTED when she found out I was going to Fetcon. She has resumed sex work. She picked Vermont, because it is a low density prostitute state, she pointed out that only one or 2 SW are on eros dot com in Vermont. She is a soulless, evil narcissist.
    That is my experience dating and marrying a prostitute, and I will NEVER do so again.

    • Akbar Khan

      @ Sean B. It was an unfortunate but expected outcome. You can’t just ignore collective intelligence and opinion of millions of people for hundreds of years regarding prostitutes. Although, on the face of it, this might seem discriminatory but the harsh truth is itself a reality. There are strong reasons for normal men not to marry a prostitute. Prostitutes have a very high tendency to DERAIL in relationships and only their clients can possibly attempt a long-term marital relationship (if it ever succeeds). This is unfortunate, few escorts might be different but they do not represent the sizeable proportion. On the face of it, we have to respect the collective wisdom of society.

      • SeanB

        I do not disagree. I have learned the hard way.

      • John

        This is a thought provoking comment. Actually, I’ve experienced two types of prostitutes. There are young women who see it as an experience. I’m not completely sure what’s going through their head other than they are having an experience that developed them. For instance, when I was a teenager, I read all about mobsters. I saw them as defiant of the social order, living by their own code of conduct, and engaged in heroic business. I was drawn to a criminal lifestyle. But, once I got a peak, I realized how wrong I was. Gangsters just steal and cheat and lie for dollars. There is no honor among thieves. Well, I may have broken a few laws as a teenager. But, I don’t label myself a criminal because it was never in my heart be what I learned criminals are—heartless and selfish people. I can tell some women I’ve seen are having an adventure and leave prostitution within months, because they’ve had an experience and don’t like where the road leads. You can see something in their eyes that unmistakably says they are excited by the experience. To me, these girls are no different than most young women who like to meet guys and have sex. They’ve just been attracted to a new form of sex that involves getting paid to have sex. It’s exciting in the same way that sex outside or sex on an airplane or sex with a stranger is exciting. They are not really prostitutes. And they are easily marriage material. In fact my I’ve even seen One get married and live a traditional lifestyle. Her husband may or may not know about her experiences. But most husbands don’t know all that their wife did before they got married.

        Then there are prostitutes who stick with it. I don’t care to be around these women. They may act fairly well. But there is something in their eyes that tell you they are tired of the work. They want to please you because it’s good for business. And one way to please you is to put a smile on. These experiences always leave me with the impression that sex is absurd. Even before I leave, I’m often thinking, “I just paid how much to work out my abs?” And the thing is, these women have internalized their job to the point of being an unremarkable identity. They find no pleasure in the job, but just as importantly, no displeasure other than the same tiredness that a blearily eyed accountant feels during tax season or a snowplough driver feels after a 48 hour job in which he’s made more money than he usually makes in two weeks. There will never be a way for this type of woman to experience, or provide the experience, of true intimacy.

        I’d say those are half and half. And that’s because I tend to seek out the inexperienced so that I can see that sparkle of excitement in their eyes.

        There was one woman that I saw that was from South America. I could tell she really was doing it as a job. I liked her a lot. I could see marrying her and living happily in a mature, no illusions, second marriage kind of thing. She didn’t look tired so much as weary. She would have loved to settle down in a home and cook a good meal for her husband for when he arrives home from work. She would be frugal and caring and all the rest. But, I’ve only run across one woman like this.

      • escortdiary

        @John

        Prostitutes are not black and white. There are all sorts of prostitutes who work in a variety of ways.

        Also, the girls who enter sex work and stop are usually repulsed, not excited or see it as an adventure. That’s why they stop, because it’s not easy. It’s creepy that one would claim to see excitement in their eyes. They are likely more nervous and scared. Not saying this is you, but men who intentionally seek out “new” girls is because they are easier to manipulate and control in sex (ie: exploit), whereas more seasoned sex workers have boundaries and limits.

        You claim sex workers who maintain a career in sex work cannot establish intimacy and do not like what they do? That may be the case for some, but how does that make them a bad person or unmarriagable because they decided to remain a sex worker? That’s fine if that’s your opinion. Do you realize many career sex workers are “stuck” in their situation for a variety of reasons or have decided its the best career option for them? And how does your analysis make sense when it comes to regular clients of established sex workers? If established sex workers are so “tired”, “weary” and lacking in intimacy (as you claim), then why would regular clientele come back to see them?

        The point is: there all kinds of prostitutes with different personalities and different reasons for doing what they do.

        -Sahar

  15. Escorts

    I can relate to this blog entry. The love of my life ( now deceased ) was a big time gangster and infamous during his lifetime . He was completely different to what you read in the papers about him, but there was something about the connection you talk about and not fitting into mainstream polite society that does bind you.
    Great blog thank you. It made me go back in time.

  16. Brett

    Would I marry a prostitute? Yes I would if she was a professional one. The hookers who are street walkers with pimps would be a no. But a professional contracter yes. Why you ask? Well these women are the true independent women who have not been brainwashed in the corporate sector or government sector. They also have seen quite a bit in life with various men and clients and so have a better sense of reality with street smarts. Not saying a prostitute if retired can not do the jobs that I stated brainwash women but they are better grounded socially and have compassion for men who are truly good and assertive. Most Western women in america and Europe are hostile to men and divorce rape them for a variety of reasons because of the materialistic mentality that has posioned families socially. So yes I would marry a former professional escort. I would love her completely and be grateful for her experience that could make her a good wife to me. That’s my take am I wrong?

    • S.Crow

      Brett,

      I admire the positive and encouraging outlook expressed by your comment.

      I agree that many of the experiences female escorts have had during their work could benefit them in their roles as wives, should they choose such a role. Extensive knowledge and wisdom gained regarding the motivations of men should provide stability and be a source of comfort, well as a source of jealousy, for their husbands (every rose has its thorn?). After all, what are the odds that a young, handsome, wealthy man could lure a non-escort-experienced wife wife to cheat? A: relatively high. The odds that the same man could tempt a wife with escort experience? A: much less. The woman with escort experience knows that such men are a dime a dozen and what’s more, she’s had such men, and knows where to find more if she should want them..

      However you should consider one very important area of knowledge and experience that most (if not all) escorts have mastered: deception. The escorts I have known have all fabricated extensive and intricate webs of lies which they present to their loved ones, to hide the basic facts surrounding their lives. They don’t admit that they are escorts, but tell their families and friends that they work in some other job to explain the frequent traveling and income. They essentially live two separate lives. The one they present to the “normal” world and the one they present to the sex-industry world. And they lie to both worlds. Perhaps the only honest area in their lives exists within themselves.

      This behavior becomes a pattern, which can easily define and rule any person subject to it. And since this pattern has been effective and rewarding, it will be one that will be very difficult to change. Rigorous honesty, which many believe is required for a successful marriage, will be a challenge, IMHO.

  17. C Alan

    A simple question, but complex to answer. Firstly, the face that an escort presents to her client will not be her true self, it is part of the play acting that she does to please him. It hardly the basis for a true relationship.
    Assuming that hurdle has been overcome, and the man now sees the true person behind the escort, then he may wish to take the relationship further.
    The final step is whether the escort wishes to continue her work, and why. If it is purely for money, then she may at some time stop seeing clients. However, if it is to satisfy her sexual needs, then there could be problems for that relationship, especially id her man is of a jealous nature.
    As an older man, if I fell in love with an escort, I would not be bothered by the opinions of others. It is none of their business. There are a lot of women out there who play the field with many men, but do not need the money (apart from the odd gift). They are no different to an escort.

  18. jay j

    Can I reply.Yes I would marry my escort. I am not single but if we are ever available at the same time, I’m taking the chance. I’m a normal guy. 

    • escortdiary

      Hi Jay,

      Thanks for sharing. To be honest, most escorts are not interested in clients who they know are married.

      -Sahar

  19. We live in an age of cowardice and mediocrity. Even “normal” girls are having a difficult time getting married, because sex and having children has become available outside of marriage.

    If a girl does not “conform” in any shape of form, she’s going to have a difficult time getting married.

    The question here is: Why do we want to get married? is it stemming out of fear of a lonely and ageing future? Whatever the motives are, We need to be brutally honest with ourselves. If they stem out of fear or any form of malice, then it will only be a hurdle and delay finding a good relationship/husband.

    Yes, I am human, and I’d like to build for the future. “Playing the field” eventually gets old, and one would like to experience deep intimacy and relating, with the willingness to accept the other the way the are.

    But, people nowadays are taking longer to grow out of “playing the field”. However, the pendulum swing law is still active, so they will come back with even more hunger for intimacy once their slumber is over.

    As for the non-conformists, the list of mates is far more limited, but it makes it easier, doesn’t it?

  20. John

    Would I marry a prostitute? Yes I would. I’ve been visiting local ladies for years and am open with all of them all about that fact. I would like to link up with a beautiful younger lady who would like to have a more normal life and become stable in the wealthier neighborhoods I was lucky to be born into, but who is a working girl due to lack of other opportunities.

    As a serious student of astrology its been fascinating to analyze horoscopes of about 90% of the ladies I’ve met. Almost all of them are quite willing to engage in that very peronal process. Few of them really believe in it , prior to seeing how well the astrology describes them. Its very fascinating and a big education about astrology to observe energies of all kinds between myself and the ladies I’ve met. I most always see very clear correlations, ie precise astrology correlations, it faithfully describe people and qualities of interactions between two people. Its a hoot. And its fun to see how the ladies are often changed by finding out these ways to understand themselve, manage parts of thier lives that seem mysterious to them. Its fun and a good way to make a new friend if not find a wife.

  21. Trevor

    Perhaps I am not a “normal” man, but if I found an amazing, caring, communicative woman who I connected with, I would certainly marry her if we fell in love together. I have never dated nor hired a prostitute, but I have met several and they have some things in common which would be important to understand in a relationship. For me the biggest things would be communication and affection.

    If she were to continue her career (and I understand she likely would because it’s hard to quit or change one’s identity), she would need to be upfront about it and honest with me about what she’s doing. She would also need to be careful and safe. If that means we have a house where she can work in a separate work room safe at home, that’s better in my view than working in different places every day. If she keeps her work identity a secret, we should share that secret together.

    She would also need to affectionate with me, because I am an affectionate person. She would need to be open to having a true relationship of equals and jaded or tired of men because of her job. Oh, and she would want to have 1-3 children together. 🙂

    Opposites attract and make the best couples. But both people in the relationship need to have similar goals.

  22. Tyrone

    “There are good kinds of men who will marry a prostitute… They are rare because most people, generally, are too afraid to go against societal norms.”

    Or maybe they’re not afraid of peer pressure. Maybe they’re just repulsed by the idea of marrying a hooker. Would you marry a man who sleeps with other women everyday?

    • escortdiary

      @Tyrone

      Thank you for expressing your view. Your mentality is expected and predictable. A lack of deeper understanding.

      Are all prostitutes the same and sleeping with men out of their own personal pleasure? No, that’s very rare.

      So it’s okay to sleep with a prostitute but one cannot consider her marriagable because she is ‘repulsive’? In other words, she is sub-human, but a perfect candidate to fuck and use?? Thanks for proving my point.

      You won’t get it.

      • Tyrone

        @Sawhore

        “Are all prostitutes the same and sleeping with men out of their own personal pleasure? No, that’s very rare.”

        True and irrelevant. Even if they get no pleasure from it, the point is that they do it, and most people won’t accept that in a spouse. You’re argument is even dumber than you.

        “So it’s okay to sleep with a prostitute but one cannot consider her marriagable because she is ‘repulsive’?”

        Sure, it’s a-okay. Nothing wrong with having standards, you bellend. It would also be okay for a woman to refuse to marry a man who visits prostitutes.

        “In other words, she is sub-human, but a perfect candidate to fuck and use??”

        Now, you’re just putting words in my mouth. Being undesirable for marriage =/= subhuman, and I never claimed it does.

        BTW, you avoided my question. Would YOU marry a man who sleeps with other women everyday? Let’s make this hypothetical man a male prostitute.

      • escortdiary

        @Tyrone

        Would I marry a man who was a male escort due to circumstances? Sure, if I loved him and he wanted to quit to live a simple life. Would I marry a player who sleeps with random women due to their own desire to sleep with random women – no. It’s not the same thing and you are trying to equate a prostitute with a male player. Of course, you cannot grasp the concept that prostitutes are NOT sleeping with random men for fun/pleasure.

        I enjoy your comments, as you keep proving my point. Props for the name calling. Lol

      • Tyrone

        @Sahar

        “Would I marry a man who was a male escort due to circumstances? Sure, if I loved him and he wanted to quit to live a simple life.”

        In other words, you would NOT marry a man who refuses to quit being an escort even though you yourself are an escort. Thanks for exposing your own hypocrisy, Sweet Cheeks. You actually proved my point about people (including you) not wanting their spouses to be escorts.

        “you are trying to equate a prostitute with a male player.”

        They may be different, but their actions are similar enough for people who reject one to also reject the other. Don’t believe me? Create an online poll; ask the participants if they’d marry an escort if there was no social stigma against it.

      • escortdiary

        @Tyrone

        I am speaking of a scenario of a prostitute getting married and being monogamous (ie: leaving the sex industry).

        No woman dreams to be a prostitute, nor does a man dream to marry one. But life happens. Women find themselves in sex work, and some men find themselves in love with a woman who happens to be a sex worker. It’s not premeditated, it just happens. A wholesome man realizes a woman is a human first, not just a prostitute.

        Why are you even on my blog? You give off the vibe that you were rejected/burned by a prostitute(s) and to make yourself feel better you now have some vendetta now against them.

      • Tyrone

        @Sahar

        “I am speaking of a scenario of a prostitute getting married and being monogamous (ie: leaving the sex industry).”

        My mistake is understandable since you didn’t make that part clear anywhere in your article. You’re still a big, fat hypocrite ’cause you wouldn’t marry a fellow escort (who’s still active).

        “Why are you even on my blog?”

        I came across your blog while searching for reasons NOT to become a hooker. My best friend wants to do some gay-for-pay, and I want to talk his ass out of it.

        “You give off the vibe that you were rejected/burned by a prostitute(s) and to make yourself feel better you now have some vendetta now against them.”

        Well, you give off the vibe that you should put on a blindfold and jump off the Grand Canyon.

      • escortdiary

        @Tyrone

        Comments from you are no longer welcomed. You commented under “skullz and guns” in a previous post and also told another commenter to kill themselves (which I deleted). Suicide is a very serious issue and to speak the way you have says everything about your soulless character.

  23. Candicelove

    Dear Sahar,

    Just wanna wish you Eid Murabak wherever you are in the world. 🙂

  24. Nuno

    I will! In fact we are getting married this coming Sunday. I would like to share with you more of our story. Can I write to you on escortdiaryblog@gmail.com? Cheers, Nuno.

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