Escorting: The Joys of Scumbag Men

I was called a whore today. It’s been a while since someone has called me a whore. The person who called me a whore was someone I had not met, but rather a a man who called to inquire about my escorting services… (story continues a few paragraphs below).

Whore-Slut-Shaming

All sorts of men will contact a prostitute to inquire about her services. Some men have thoroughly read my ad and website, so when they contact me, they are ready to book. Then there are men who barely read my descriptions and contact me with questions about my services, rates, etc. I do not mind answering questions, and I am not offended when someone is just causally inquiring. When I talk to a prospective client, I get an indication of whether or not he is decent. I judge based on his demeanour, his manners, etc. The process is known as screening, the process of an escort filtering prospective clients (or in other words, filtering out the good from the bad clients)

Now, screening can be very annoying. This is because some men who contact escorts are just time wasters — or also complete low-lifes. They do things that annoy all escorts, such as asking for discounts, asking for risky services, whining why risky services are not offered, trying to flirt or talk sexual, asking for additional photos, booking then not showing up, etc. Good clients do not do these things — they are respectful, easy going and are straight forward. For an escort, a good sense of screening is, sadly, only learnt through trial and error. Which means every escort will encounter scum men in the screening process.

For this reason, I have a policy that prospective clients must either email or phone me. If they email, they will still need to eventually call me. Hearing someones voice gives off many cues to a persons’ persona — are they polite? Are they educated? Do they speak well?

A lot of men who contact escorts are low-lifes  (pathetic excuses of men) — and they can usually be detected via their telephone etiquette. As mentioned, decent clients are very kind, respectful and straight forward. But lowlifes are all kinds of unpleasant. Whenever I answer my phone and there is a disgusting man on the other line, I politely say that I do not offer what they seek and say goodbye. Sometimes, when I hang up the phone with one, I cuss them out, “Idiot!” “Disgusting pervert!” I do not, however, cuss them out over the phone — no no.

But today I did. I answered the phone. It was not clear at first whether this man was a low-life or not, so I entertained his questions. First, he did not read anything on my ad, so he asked several questions — okay, fine. Then he asked if I provided a certain service and I said politely, “No, sorry I don’t offer that.” Then he started whining and said, “Why not? Listen, I am really good looking, do you think you can make an exception for me?” I rolled my eyes, “Like I said, I do not offer that, so maybe you will have better luck with another lady.” He then said I was rude. I was about to hang up, but I felt compelled to cuss him out. I never do that. I wasn’t even in a bad mood. “You’re shameless. Disgusting man — don’t you have any shame talking to a someone in such a dehumanizing way? Idiot!” Then I hung up. Just before I blocked his number, he instantly text me. I knew exactly what he was going to say, as any low-life would say when their fragile ego is tested. He text me, “YOU FUCKING WHORE!” “You are a whore!”

I laughed out loud. I almost wanted to reply,  “Wow! Damn, right in the feels….how original! LOL!!!”But then I realized there was no point. I just blocked and deleted. And then I regretted my outburst. I don’t think it’s wise that any escort cusses out pathetic losers as such. Why?

So What Should An Escort Do?

In cases like the above, it’s best to do nothing. When creeps contact an escort, it is best to just politely say goodbye and do as I do (cuss them out in head your head, have a good laugh and move on). Yes, it is extremely tempting to stand up for yourself and call out an indecent man for what he is: disgusting, dehumanizing, pathetic and creepy. But for an escort, a man who’s ego is so fragile can be potentially dangerous. He can retaliate. He can change his number and contact you again. He could do many things to try to book you under a different alias. He can harm you. It’s simply not worth it. There are some escort sites where ladies warn each other about bad-clients, by posting their phone numbers on a blacklist. This is one thing an escort can do — warn others. But again, creeps can change their number. In the case where there is severe harassment, then do contact the police or a local sex worker organization that helps with sex workers rights. 

This post is meant to be part funny and part serious. I don’t actually care if I was called a whore — call me slut, hoe, thotiana, whatever…. I could care less about someone’s opinion of me in that sense. If anything, it tells me about how hateful and pathetic a person can be.

Times like these makes me nostalgic about my brothel days. In between seeing clients, girls (escorts) would all sit together and discuss how stupid and creepy some men are. We would laugh until it hurts. It’s also quite sad at the same time because it’s scary to know a LOT creepy, predatory-like men like this exist (men who might, for instance, behave differently behind closed doors).

Recommendation for Escorts: For any escorts who work alone, I recommend visiting a Reddit forum called Client Cringe or r/ClientCringe. It’s brilliant! It’s a place for escorts to discuss and post screenshots of the funny and cringe-worthy idiots who contact them.

**Big thank you to all the Respectful Men (Clients and non-clients) who respect escorts (and women, generally) and make our lives more humane **

To my Fellow Escorts & Readers: What sort of creeps have you encountered? What’s the funniest or oddest thing someone has said when contacting you? Please feel free to share your stories. Lastly, who do you tell when you have funny stories to share about your escorting life?

21 Comments

Filed under The Escorting Business

21 responses to “Escorting: The Joys of Scumbag Men

  1. Melbourne Escort

    Gosh, I can’t tell you how much this made me laugh. It’s hard to keep quiet and not curse some of the out though. I am practising the delete/ block but sometimes it feels good to give it right back. Although in my case, I block them before I get the text message response 🤣🤣🤣

  2. Richard

    Sorry to hear that about your case. Yes, unfortunately, the majority of people who contacted escorts or agencies are actually ‘non clients’ – meaning like the people you have rejected. Most of them are either rude, or simply did not read anything you have written on your website or listing.

    Raising your prices is a potential option to weed out these people though! They usually tend to like cheap options.

  3. Dear Sahar
    Good article on Bad people
    never knew you had a website. please share the detail s of the website

  4. Aphrodite

    Dear Sahar,
    I want to share a story that baffled me. Thank God, I came out of it unharmed.
    A few weeks ago I met a client, who seemed in my eyes quite nice.
    Our date was chill and easy-going…or I thought.
    This client suddenly told me: Well, it’s all quite nice, but can we do it without…?
    I thought he meant ‘oral without’, because this request has become the norm unfortunately. But then he said: No, I don’t mind oral sex.
    Can we go intimate, without?
    I couldn’t believe me ears. My inner self was crying and laughing at the same time. Crying because of his selfishness and my fear, and laughing because of his blatant stupidity.
    I said I couldn’t allow that, and that I would not change my rules, under no circumstances.
    He replied: ‘But you seem quite clean, right? If you only do it with me without condom, than it’s okay right?’
    The most disturbing thing to me was, that he genuinly seemed to do no harm.
    ‘No, I cannot allow that. I was very clear about it before we met. Why would you think I would change my mind?’
    He had no answer to that. He seemed to think sex workers are all very willing women.
    ‘But you seem so nice. Can’t we really do it without?’
    ‘No, and don’t ever ask me that.’
    He: ‘I understand…but I would like it.’
    And then he diverted to another topic.
    About his busy life etc.
    Time was up. We dressed ourselves…. We left.
    I won’t see him again, for sure.

    • escortdiary

      @Aphrodite,

      Was this a new client? If so, that is really crazy for him to ask for sex without protection. Since you look like a nice and normal girl as an escort, then sadly this request will occur sometimes. In my experience, I was requested by long term regular clients because they “know and trust” me well — what shocked me was most of them were married clients!

      A really risky notion that people have about unprotected sex with strangers is that if the two participants are ‘clean’ and ‘educated, then there is little risk. This is, of course, completely not true.

      Thank you for sharing that.

      Wish you well my dear,

      S

      • Aphrodite

        Dear Sahar, yes he was a brand new client, showcasing his stupidity towards women in this sector (or other women). Apparently someone who is only thinking with the ‘small head’, not with the ‘big head’. That’s why my inner self freaked out. He really didn’t seem to realize the risk of having unprotected sex, as he didn’t push me and wasn’t rude at all. Unfortunately, a lot of people seem to think they stand ‘above’ the possible risks of having (unprotected) sex.

  5. John

    It is so completely unacceptable for anyone to call you names. I’m sorry people do this to you. These individuals are not seeing you as a human being. That is hurtful and intolerable.

    I should point out that many men (myself included) do not visit prostitutes because they lack a sexual partner. It’s often because we have perverted fantasies that we either don’t feel that we can make known or that our partners may not be comfortable engaging in. So, when you call us, or even think of us, as disgusting perverts, it’s not necessarily hurtful, but maybe hits a little close to home for some of us. So, it’s important to be aware of the psychological stigma that we feel because of our inclinations.

    I would also say that when prostitutes say that they are just doing their job and performing a service, there is an element of duhumanization in that statement. For example, if I show up at the bank late and ask them to stay open a little longer to accommodate me, the bank employee usually either opens the door or says sorry and walks away. They might complain about stupid customers. But they don’t usually feel personally hurt by the request. The same thing applies if you try to get an taxi driver to drop you off in a dangerous neighborhood. They might want additional money. Or they might just say, “I don’t do that.” They May find the request irritating. But, they usually do not think of the rider as a disgusting human being. The same applies for asking a tax advisor to take care of your international income—they may not be comfortable doing that. Or asking your mechanic to replace a hose on you Honda whenntheir website specifically says that they work on domestic cars only. Or trying to talk your doctor into providing a prescription for adderal pills when you know you should be requesting that from a psychiatrist.

    I’m not suggesting that a prostitute should not have a visceral reaction to pushy clients. It’s a different situation. And I don’t think that sex work is just another job. There is something very personal a raw about the exchange. And the exchange needs to be treated in the same manner as with a girlfriend or wife. Clients need to understand that it’s not just a service that can be negotiated, but a personal boundary that needs to be respected in away that is not required for other professions.

    Many seasoned clients will understand that. But many newer or less emotionally intelligent clients will not know this and will either think that you really are just doing a job or think that they have a personal relationship with you.

    That’s the thing, prostitution is not just a job, but it’s not really personal either. To me, this is the problem with prostitution. It’s that it’s probably impossible to compartmentalize. It’s not that prostitution is morally wrong. It’s more that it is inherently emotionally damaging. Most prostitutes are going to consider their clients (and themselves) disgusting for engaging in certain activities. And most clients will want something more than just straight sex for long enough to achieve release. Prostitutes usually only want the money (and may enjoy seeing someone satisfied). And most men want an emotional connection (either to be loved or by experiencing a heightened vulnerability that comes with engaging in forbidden and taboo activities).

    I read your post about the 8 types of clients (I think it was eight). I remember that you thought clients that liked prostitutes that were new to the business were perverts who liked the control and ability to take advantage of the inexperience. I like new girls and have given a lot of thought as to why (I read that post months ago). It’s not because the new girls are easier to take advantage of. It’s because they are emotionally vulnerable and excited. Most prostitutes are as excited to see their first few clients as they are to see a guy they like at the bar. There are a lot of women that enter prostitution as a last resort. But many of them have a fantasy that the life is glamorous. And if you treat them kindly, they respond with enthusiasm—or genuine trepidation. But, they are rarely offended when you suggest they expand their list of services for you. I am always respectful of their boundaries and take no for no. And I’m very good natured about it all. I’m not pushy. I just make a suggestion. But, I’ve seen them consider the suggestion, and the mere request is exciting for them. It’s not an act. They imagine for a moment whether or not they would enjoy it. That’s because they are still relating to the client as an individual. They are not irritated by something they have heard dozens of times before. It’s not just a job. Now, a portion of these girls will stay in the business. But 95% of them leave in three or four months. Most of them leave because they are thrill seekers and not girls that really want to make prostitution their profession. Most women are not cut out for the business. It’s not something that they enjoy or that is emotionally enriching. Other 4.9% do it because it pays the bills. Almost none of them do it because they get the satisfaction that comes with most jobs.

    To the person who maintains this blog and writes so thoughtfully, consider writing a book. Apply to a top tier university as a student with non-traditional qualifications. Find a wider audience. I’ve met a lot of whores. And you are not a whore.

    You thought it was glamorous for a bit, now you do it for the money. But this is not just a job for you and it’s not something that you enjoy. You are a wonderful writer who has given much much to think about and many opportunities for personal growth.

    • escortdiary

      Hi John,

      I will respond to your comment in segments. Many parts of your comment I disagree with and it is evident you have misunderstood some of my writings. Nevertheless, I appreciate the effort. You seem to have a concern and care for the sex industry, so I welcome your thoughts. I hope I don’t come off too harsh in my responses below.

      It is so completely unacceptable for anyone to call you names. I’m sorry people do this to you. These individuals are not seeing you as a human being. That is hurtful and intolerable.

      Polite and respectful people would not use those words. I’ve only been called a whore 3 or 4 times, and it wasn’t ever by a client I’ve met. It was people in my personal life, ironically.

      I should point out that many men (myself included) do not visit prostitutes because they lack a sexual partner. It’s often because we have perverted fantasies that we either don’t feel that we can make known or that our partners may not be comfortable engaging in. So, when you call us, or even think of us, as disgusting perverts, it’s not necessarily hurtful, but maybe hits a little close to home for some of us. So, it’s important to be aware of the psychological stigma that we feel because of our inclinations.

      I did not call all clients disgusting perverts. In fact, I constantly try to put disclaimers on my blog that I don’t think all clients are the same. I also do not think having certain sexual fantasies makes one disgusting or perverted. I think you misunderstood what I wrote. I am talking about a very specific kind of low-life, scum man whom most escorts would likely shun. I don’t think it makes sense to categorize all clients as the same — there are all sorts of men out there and any one of them has the potential to be clients.

      would also say that when prostitutes say that they are just doing their job and performing a service, there is an element of duhumanization in that statement. For example, if I show up at the bank late and ask them to stay open a little longer to accommodate me, the bank employee usually either opens the door or says sorry and walks away. They might complain about stupid customers. But they don’t usually feel personally hurt by the request. The same thing applies if you try to get an taxi driver to drop you off in a dangerous neighborhood. They might want additional money. Or they might just say, “I don’t do that.” They May find the request irritating. But, they usually do not think of the rider as a disgusting human being.

      Your analogy is way off because you have mistakenly assumed I am talking about ALL clients. I am not talking about all clients. Once again, my post is referring to a very specific type of INDECENT man, whom I refer to as disgusting. Most escorts shun this type and do NOT see them, but occasionally we have to deal with them over the phone because they contact us.

      Again, I am not talking about normal, decent clients. With decent men, I noted that it’s okay to ask for extras or certain fantasies so long it’s done in a respectful, humanizing manner. Escorts don’t get easily annoyed by polite, respectful men. For instance, an escort isn’t bothered by letting her regular client stay 10-15 over a 1 hour appointment — of course we wouldn’t render a decent client as disgusting for such a reason.

      And I don’t think that sex work is just another job. There is something very personal a raw about the exchange. And the exchange needs to be treated in the same manner as with a girlfriend or wife. Clients need to understand that it’s not just a service that can be negotiated, but a personal boundary that needs to be respected in away that is not required for other professions.

      Indeed, sex work is not just another job. Sex is not a service. It cannot be standardized for it to be meaningful. It’s raw and chaotic. Thankfully, some clients do realize women are delicate (no different than any other woman) and treat them with respect. And sadly, there are ones who don’t have any care or concern for women and treat women horribly as such (whom my post was referring too).

      I like new girls and have given a lot of thought as to why (I read that post months ago). It’s not because the new girls are easier to take advantage of. It’s because they are emotionally vulnerable and excited. Most prostitutes are as excited to see their first few clients as they are to see a guy they like at the bar.

      Where the hell did you get the idea that prostitutes are “excited” to see their first clients? That’s completely a wrong assessment. If anything, new prostitutes are scared to sleep with a random client. They might have to drink alcohol or take drugs just to reduce their anxiety about sleeping with a man they don’t personally desire. You are interpreting their FEAR and nervousness as their “emotionally vulnerable.” Of course they are emotionally vulnerable! New girls are emotional vulnerable because they have less assertiveness to say “NO” to what makes them uncomfortable. That’s not a positive thing, and yet that gets you off?

      Most prostitutes are going to consider their clients (and themselves) disgusting for engaging in certain activities. And most clients will want something more than just straight sex for long enough to achieve release. Prostitutes usually only want the money (and may enjoy seeing someone satisfied). And most men want an emotional connection (either to be loved or by experiencing a heightened vulnerability that comes with engaging in forbidden and taboo activities).

      Huh? Not all prostitutes are the same, nor have the same mentality. I don’t consider my clients disgusting, nor do I consider myself disgusting. I do not engage in things that are outside my comfort level. Your generalizations are off.

      But, they are rarely offended when you suggest they expand their list of services for you. I am always respectful of their boundaries and take no for no. And I’m very good natured about it all. I’m not pushy.

      Yes, and there is nothing wrong with politely asking a lady to fulfill your fantasy. It’s all about respect and politeness. That does not make one disgusting or perverted (that’s not the type I was referring to in this post).

      Most of them leave because they are thrill seekers and not girls that really want to make prostitution their profession. Most women are not cut out for the business. It’s not something that they enjoy or that is emotionally enriching. Other 4.9% do it because it pays the bills. Almost none of them do it because they get the satisfaction that comes with most jobs.

      Where are getting your erroneous information from?? You are saying all these incorrect ‘facts’ that don’t make sense together. No woman is joining the sex industry to seek a thrill, and then leaving because her “thrill” was not met. No woman is “cut out” to be a sex worker — we enter this life due to circumstance, not choice. Many women have no choice but to remain in sex work for a variety of reasons, so they just make the best of their situation.

      You thought it was glamorous for a bit, now you do it for the money.

      Huh? When I have not done it for the money?

      -Sahar

  6. larissa33

    My husband has been seeing escorts off and on since 2015. I thought he had gotten better but I guess not. He’s a doctor who’s ususally busy but recently i check the cellphone statement and he’s texting her 2 1/2 straight. He drives 6 hours to see her. He thinks I dont know and we haven’t been sexual for 6 months. I dont know what she’s doing to him. She’s 30 and he’s 50 years of age. I dont know if he and this escort are now good friends or if they are dating. They only text but its more frequent. I know she’s 500 an hour in call and he always takes out the same amount of money each time he goes out of town. I final put my foot down and stop having sex with him because i dont know weather he’s practicating safe sex. And because of that he’s become very un- emotional towards me until he thinks he’s push me to far. I’m tired with nothing left and I’m scared. He seems to be in bliss not caring about how he’s hurting me. I’m so loss

    • escortdiary

      Hi Larissa33,

      Sorry to hear what you have experienced. And thank you for sharing your experiences. It helps others understand the perspective of a wife of a cheating husband.

      What you have outlined is something I have commonly seen. It is likely the escort is not personal with your husband (ie: it’s just business from her end). She also isn’t doing anything outlandish, sexually, with him necessarily (in case you’re wondering why he is drawn to her). What, then, explains his behavior? It’s many things. He is selfish, he doesn’t appreciate what he already has, he lacks control over impulses, he might have no empathy (true concern for your well-being) a.k.a low emotional intellect. He also may be addicted to escapism — the need to escape from his daily stresses and retreat to a fantasy world for a few hours. That does not justify his actions, however. You also have needs of escapism, but you are not cheating him to obtain that. If he wants to experience other women, he should be upfront to you and not cheat you.

      What’s the solution? You need to confront him. You need to be upfront about how this makes you feel. If he cares, then seek counselling. If he doesn’t care, then you need to re-evaluate your life and what is important for you (ie: staying with an unfaithful husband who provides stability and security, or moving on). You deserve love, honestly and trust — don’t settle for less.

      Best wishes,

      Sahar

      • larissa33

        Thxs for your advice………..yes, He is a good provider and this un caring attuide has gotten worse. He met this escort in Texas while at a conference in May of last year. That’s when the crazy really started before he was empathetic and understanding of my hurt and insecurities but over time became so cold. I dont even know him anymore. Why act that way, but when he thinks I’ve SNAPPED or when I find evidence he’s lied his body language applies guilt. I try to confront him but he makes hurtful statements like “here we go again” and sighs. The comment causes me to stop talking and he’s stopped listening. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to see the truth or he doesn’t want to feel guiltily. I was a busy model until i was diagnosis with MS in 2015. He uses that as an excuse because I stay tired. When does the client (spouse)understand he’s hurting others. I’m just curious what do escorts say to make some men so uncaring and shelish. It’s like he’s in this fog. I do know he’s extremely stressed and very overwhelmed but good grief. I’m sorry to pour out my soul but after 23 years of marriage a mid life crisis comes along and destroys everything. I’m just amazed how a person can change. After my experience i will say society puts a lot of emphasis on beauty. As a kid you really start feeding into the happy ever after or the once upon a time and being the beautiful princess. When in actuality thats not real life at all. When i do speak to friends about my situation the first statement is “but you are so beautiful a real head turner” he’d be a fool to lose you but in real life being beautiful or being good wife doesn’t stop men from cheating.

        I’m sure theirs a lesson to be learned though out all of this. You have no idea how much your blog helps. Thx you

      • escortdiary

        Hi Again Larissa,

        I try to confront him but he makes hurtful statements like “here we go again” and sighs. The comment causes me to stop talking and he’s stopped listening. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to see the truth or he doesn’t want to feel guiltily.

        That is a typical response of a liar when confronted. He knows how to silence you by making YOU feel guilty for questioning his wrongdoings — it’s gaslighting (ie: making you question yourself rather than question him).

        When does the client (spouse)understand he’s hurting others.

        Some cheating husbands don’t understand they are harming others because they are sociopaths (cannot feel empathy for the well-being of others). If he is a narcissist, or psychopath, he may actually enjoy causing harm to others. Such personality types adhere to a hedonist principle that “if it feels good, do it” …at any cost. If one were to continue cheating after being confronted, then that’s a tell-tale sign of sociopathy.

        Now, not all cheating men are sociopaths. Sometimes a man may cheat due to emotional immaturity and then feel tremendous guilt when confronted. This type has the potential to actually change because he suddenly realizes the hurt he has inflicted and seeks to redeem his past harm. Change is only demonstrated by empathetically listening to the other partners needs and changing both in words and action.

        Ask yourself, which category does your husband fall into? Does he have demonstrative empathy for your well-being?

        I’m just curious what do escorts say to make some men so uncaring and shelish.

        Escorts cannot make a man “uncaring and selfish.” That’s the wrong mentality to think escorts have some magical spell that they cast on clients. Like I said before, the fantasy of being with a new woman and seeing this new woman while she’s ‘at her best’ is what is appealing to men; it’s the escapism. She might just be a very nice girl and he might like her personality.

        Most escorts are quite indifferent to clients. That indifference is very attractive for some clients. For some clients, to gain an escorts affection is a challenge, and men like being challenged by women to some extent. Sometimes clients can go crazy for an escort who barely shows any interest (ie: she acts with indifference towards her client). Some men need constant ego boosting, so it’s a rush to get a woman whom was once indifferent to show affection.

        I do know he’s extremely stressed and very overwhelmed but good grief.

        Many people are stressed. That doesn’t mean one should cheat on their spouse and think its justified. And furthermore, how he silences you when you confront him is incredibly selfish and apathetic.

        After my experience i will say society puts a lot of emphasis on beauty. As a kid you really start feeding into the happy ever after or the once upon a time and being the beautiful princess. When in actuality thats not real life at all. When i do speak to friends about my situation the first statement is “but you are so beautiful a real head turner” he’d be a fool to lose you but in real life being beautiful or being good wife doesn’t stop men from cheating.

        My dear, beauty isn’t everything. No amount of physical beauty in the world can prevent a cheater from cheating. Believe me. I’ve seen married clients with wives far more beautiful than me in terms of physical looks, and yet their husband went crazy over me and barely pays attention to his glamorous wife. In other words, don’t think it’s a case of the escort being more ‘beautiful’ than you, or that you lack something.

        Wives commonly make the mistake that they are not beautiful enough. Beauty is and WILL ALWAYS be subjective. What’s trash for one is treasure to another. Society makes a lot of $$$ off people thinking their not beautiful. This can be solved by distancing yourself from shallow and superficial people — your worth is not your looks! Honestly, focusing TOO much on your outer beauty can actually make you less interesting sometimes. Conversely, focusing too LITTLE on your beauty is also not good. There needs to be a balance of the body, mind and soul. However, if your only quality is your outer beauty, then you will only attract shallow types who see you as an object (an object that can be easily replaced like an old cell phone). I have seen it countless times: a beautiful ‘model’ woman who is literally treated like dirt because she attracts shallow men who treat her literally like an object.

        There is nothing you can do to make your husband a decent human being. You can act like the biggest slut in the bedroom or change your looks — it does not matter! It’s HIM who needs to change. If he cannot change and respect you, then again, you need to re-evaluate your life. Moreover, why would you want to stay with a man who has no empathy for your well-being? I suggest seeing a counsellor and get their advice on what to do next. I sincerely hope your husband is not the shallow type, and starts to acknowledge his wrongdoings and change.

        Wish you well,
        Sahar

    • Hon you don’t need a husband. You need a divorce lawyer.

  7. Aphrodite

    My Goodness,
    Since yesterday I bumped into a terrible case of a time-wasting man.

    -Wants to know how I feel, wants to know ‘how I actually look’.
    – Keeps sending me pictures of himself, pictures I didn’t ask for.
    And hopes it will make me reconsider my decision, to not send anymore pictures.
    -Wants to know what I like: I agree with answering this question once. But I’m not a phone sex operator.
    – Sends me innumerable useless messages, while I tried to make it clear he can only use my number to make an actual appointment.
    – Says he sends me these messages because he wants to see if there is a ‘connection’.
    (if there was a ‘connection’, it’s now broken)
    – Asks me if I’m angry, because I anwered him in a ‘cool’ manner.
    Sigh….What do you do about it…? I need your advice…..

    • escortdiary

      @Aphrodite

      As soon as you hear/see red flag(s) (ie: sending endless messages or endless questions), then don’t engage with them further. Always be assertive and clear. If they cannot be straight forward and respect your boundaries, then politely bid them adieu!

      Personally, I would advise that you do not text message with clients you haven’t met. It’s impossible to judge someone’s politeness or demeanour through a text. If they cannot call you, then that itself is a red flag.

      It’s definitely okay for a prospective client to ask relevant questions. Some may even ask for a photo out of sheer ignorance (perhaps another escort was OK sending extra photos). A decent guy will respect your wish if tell them firmly that you don’t send photos or don’t do X. What’s important is how they behave, their level of politeness and most importantly if they RESPECT your boundaries. So therefore, if a client was to continuously ask for photos or keep asking pointless questions, then it’s best to disengage, as they are a time waster.

      Hope that helps xox

  8. Aphrodite

    Thanks for writing this post.
    Time-wasters, window-shoppers… Ugh…I hate that.
    People who think you (we, escorts) don’t have a life beside their pathetic messages…
    That being said, I love it when a client is just very clear and straight-forward:
    ‘Ah, a guy who understands me…’ It makes me appreciate him more, somehow…
    This weekend I’m gonna meet a lovely client who understands this exceptionally well, as he basically typed out a whole agenda with every day, with every hour he was available. I just needed to pick a day and an hour.

    He has Aspergers though, but that’s what I like about him.
    He is extremely respectful, always writes and talks beautifully, and, most importantly. He understands I’m providing a service, that I’m just doing my job, that I appreciate him as a client and that he has to appreciate me as his ‘caregiver’.

    On the total other end: at 1 o’clock at night, a guy calls me:
    ‘Can you come now? Can’t you call a taxi?’
    …I didn’t even bother.

    I don’t have anyone to talk about when it comes to my escort adventures. Actually I don’t mind.
    As long I’m not in danger, I don’t have the need to talk about specific stories.

    • escortdiary

      @Aphodite,

      Thanks for sharing that dear. Kindness, generosity and respect goes a long way with a prostitute.

      I hope you find a trusted person you can talk about your ‘real’ life with someday. Indeed one needs not to share everything, but it’s nice to share simple things with someone — funny things that happened when seeing a client, etc. Humans are social beings, so being too isolated in our thoughts can feel like living in a prison.

      Kisses to you,
      -Sahar

  9. Ralph

    Dear Sahar: Feb. 21, 2019

    I’m very sorry that that man called you a whore.
    Escorts are doing this service for men providing them with companionship and sex.
    I have been seeing escorts ever since I was 30 years old.
    It’s a terrible thing when a man responds to a woman that works as an escort, the way this man responded to you.

    I suffered a massive stroke 16 years ago, I am very fortunate that I have seen some wonderful escorts since my stroke.

    Sincerely, Ralph

    • escortdiary

      @Ralph,

      Thank you for commenting and sharing that. It is indeed true that an escort can be, for some men like yourself, a source of comfort and tranquility (rather than purely a sexual object).

      Well wishes to you,

      -Sahar

  10. AK

    Just ignore these people and chill.

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