Prostitution is Increasing in Society: Why?

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I have seen how prostitition has increased in the just-over-a-decade that I have been in the sex industry (I never ever imagined this would have been my life!). I became a prostitute a few years before the Internet Escort Craze began. At it’s peak in 2008/2009, the Craigslist Erotic listings truly changed the nature of the sex industry. Later, websites like Backpage would also act as a popular medium for sex workers and clients to connect. I jumped on the Internet craze a bit late, starting in late 2010. In essence, I have witnessed a LOT of change in the sex industry from my early days until now. The pivotal change is how the Internet made sex work more easily attainable for both clients and sex workers. The Internet mediums for selling sex, in alignment with the 2008 economic recession, also led to an increased number of women joining the sex industry due to economic woes.

The Internet, however, increased negativity for women in the sex industry. More and more women were joining the sex industry, and yet standards within the sex industry became more degraded. The price of sex, for one, has barely increased in line with monetary inflation. Instead, the inflation of women has cheapened the price of sex. As a result, many sex workers have to truly lower their dignity and price to attract clients. When I began sex work just over a decade ago, there was no such thing as “quickies” as a high-class escort. Now, there are beautiful women who will do it all for much less. I feel deeply sad whenever I see escort ads —  I had never heard of “15 minute specials” or things like “blow and go.” I can’t even look at those ads anymore without feeling immensely sad at what the lives must like of the women who post such ad’s. Moreover, it makes me sad (and scared) to imagine there are men who will contribute to a woman’s worth being reduced to a quickie or “blow and go.”

In my case, I was able to maintain the same standards that I had from the beginning of my sex work days, thankfully. This is because I had the ability to work low-volume, or part-time. Most prostitutes don’t share my experience, however. Most are subjected to having less control over their bodies, which leads to severe emotional (and sometimes physical) trauma from their work. Despite all the sadness I have felt all these years, I cannot even dare to imagine the pain that most other prostitutes experience (again, my situation is not comparable to the majority).

Why is Prostitution Increasing?

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The answer is: Society is increasingly losing it’s humanity. Inequality is increasing. Unhappy, stressed and overworked people are increasing. Relations between men and women are more conflicting. The family unit is decreasing. Wisdom/morality is decreasing. All of these social ills are related and are the result of a capitalistic world system based on consumerism (ie: $$$$$$$$$). When people are unhappy or stressed, most will resort to various outlets (drugs, sex, porn, food) to cope.  Prostitutes fill a void for the men who visit them.

In times of increased stress, the demand for prostitutes will increase (this is the world we live in now).

For clients, prostitutes are an escape from a stressful work week, stressful responsibilities, etc. People, in general, are stressed more so than ever before in history, and thus there is an increased demand for escapism (the sex industry is one form of escapism for men). Are prostitutes a healthy outlet for escapism? There is no simple answer, because men visit prostitutes for a wide variety of reasons and at different frequencies. In essence, the demand has risen, and thus the supply (prostitutes) has increased.

I have traveled quite a bit of the world, thankfully. From my travels and my anthropological studies, I observed that only certain societies can allow prostitution to thrive. Despite prostitition being “the oldest profession in the world,” not all societies in the past had the conditions for prostitution to occur. Historically, more simplistic societies with a strong emphasis on kin/family had no reason for women to prostitute themselves. Many simple societies had little sense of individualism, so therefore it would be extremely rare for an individual to be neglected and left on their own to care for themselves. A woman is prone to become a prostitute in a context where she is neglected in some form and left to fend for herself —- such a phenomena can only occur in the society that has the conditions where exploitation and inequality can occur. In the current global context, a woman has very little security to protect her well-being and thus many can be easily ‘pushed’ into sex work. It’s an unfortunate reality.

I live in a city where there is a high ratio of women who are in the sex industry in some shape or form.

I remember sitting on a train a few years ago, and I overheard two college girls casually discussing sugar daddies. One girl was telling her peer that she really needs to considering getting a sugar daddie online to help pay her bills. Both girls looked like completely normal, typical college girls. It was a shocking realization for me, because when I was a teen I would never imagine “normal” girls casually discussing schemes on making money by through sex. But clearly I was out of the loop, because THINGS HAVE CHANGED. When I was 16 years old, I had no idea what an escort was! But nowadays, young ‘normal’ girls know all about the sex industry — they know (thanks to music and social media) that a viable option for them is to became an escort, cam girl, sugar baby, stripper, or porn actress. Now, the sex industry has become normalized. It’s even glamorized (for the dark purpose of indirectly trafficking more girls into sex work).

Hip Hop, Social Media & the Entertainment Industry is Making Prostitution ‘Cool’ 

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Celebrities like Amber Rose are promoting apparel that tells women to proudly say they are a “hoe” or “slut.”

“You’re such a fucking HOE, I love it!”

Kanye West and Lil Pump in ‘I love It’

“Fuck him and I get some money. Yah! Fuck him then I get some money…”

– Cardi B with G-Eazy in ‘No Limit’

THE NEW PIMPS are popular music entertainers and other celebrities:

They hook their viewers by telling them it’s fun to take drugs (smoke a lil weed to dumb and numb them down ), which then weakens and makes the victim complicit in their exploitation. 

I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a young man or woman these days (mind you, I am talking as if I am super old…..I am an old soul!). Young minds are so impressionable. A young girl these days faces tremendous pressure from the most soulless, superficial role models. The most popular music ‘artists’ are ones promoting women to literally hate their natural selves. They glamorize a woman’s worth based on her ability to be being a sex object. This kind of objectification was around when I was a teenager too, but it was not to the extreme that it is today. When I was a teen, there was NEVER any popular music that was openly telling me to sell my body as a prostitute. I was in my late teens when I entered sex work and I had literally no idea of what I was getting into. But nowadays, things are much different. Young girls may already know about escorting or sugaring as a career option due to sex work becoming mainstream. Instead of the traditional pimps, celebrities are the new pimps, telling women to become sex workers, to be petty. And now, many women are actually doing it since it has become so mainstream (escorts, strippers, porn actresses, cam girls, etc). Women will have less hesitation to join the sex industry when it is NORMALIZED and ENCOURAGED by pop culture. It’s truly heart breaking, because these women are led to believe lies of empowerment and happiness through false propaganda. Even some escorts will pimp out other women by selling the false image of a luxurious lifestyle. What women are not told about are the consequences of living such a life, and moreover how materialism only creates a VERY short-lived sense of fulfilment. No woman feels empowered when she is treated like an object (where her inner qualities are rejected or ignored). There is short term joy for newbies to the sex industry, but the long term consequences always contain harm, exploitation and psychological distress. As mentioned, almost all sex workers will resort to drugs, drinking, and other harmful habits to cope with the lack of wholesome love that led them into sex work.


Given that the Internet explosion of sex work is still relatively new, it will be very interesting to observe the long term effects of this new attempt at making sex work ‘cool’ and ‘trendy.’ 

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**For any of my readers unfamiliar with street slang, a “hoe” is the same derogatory meaning as a whore, slut or prostitute. 

Dear Readers: What do you think? Have you, too, also noticed the expansion of the sex industry? Are there any things that influenced you to the sex industry?

25 Comments

Filed under The Escorting Business

25 responses to “Prostitution is Increasing in Society: Why?

  1. RareGoodThinker

    I guess, there are two reasons for the noted above trends. One is ubiquitous Internet, which makes an illusions of communications and lives due to it’s nature to construct virtual worls from various symbols, like letters, prictures, videos, games all of which is a kind of simulated artificial reality, cause, in fact, they are sets of data, which are just a rows of numbers. Young peopls becomes a kind of programmed robots, cause they live in artificial world of mobiles and games, rather than real contacts. They are tend to think reality is a simple algorithm: do this, and than, you will have that. Young people become simplified. Why does nobody worry about this dangerous trend?
    The resaon is the second: It’s crony consummerism, which is the the foundation of Capitalism (Run for money for to bye your happy life).
    Programmed generations are easily to control. It is good for Capitalism, which is based on crony sins and which values money much worse, than humans.
    If you have a capital big enough, than you can lure those, who have not it, to do anything you want to. Illusion of The Big American Dream is a kind of a carot, which was used in Asia for donkeys running and running in circles for it, and unable to catch it, cause it was hangin from a rod put on their own back. Those poor silly donkeys run their lives chasing the carrot, but the only pupose of their existence was to pump water in an owners gardens.
    The waste mojority of modern “common people” are similar to the donkeys: they run out their lives for money, trying to run as fast, as their short vision tells them. Sex industry is not an exception. I have an impression, that the whole system is based on spare worn out “common people”. They are need to big international corporations and capitalists as a fuel for luxory chariots or as kind of coal for their stimmers.
    Pardon me for getting from the main topic, but many countries fell the same simple trick: Promice to some Iraq folks “freedom” and “prosperity” and they will destroy thirs own land, but will recieve only war and death, while US and EU corporations will grab their oil for free.
    Let’s go back to the topic again, prostitutes willingly sell their human values (soul and body) for to have some “power giving” money, but will get permanent doubt, that they are humans after that, or that other will consider them as humans after that.
    Present social system does not foster human values in folks. It supports “fast gain”, “instant”, “it’s not my business” behaviour by putting “a donkey” in “internet stable” by using the person’s sins as the main “leashes”, which keep the person in place and force to run on and on.

    • escortdiary

      @RareGoodThinker

      Some good points.

      But I am not sure if I can agree with your statement that “prostitutes willingly sell their human values (soul and body) for to have some “power giving” money..”

      This paints the idea that selling sex is an informed choice — it’s much more complicated than that.

      Well wishes,

      Sahar

  2. Loving

    I’ve been an escort/prostitute/whore since I was 17. I am married now and while I don’t appear to *need* to escort, I realized years ago that I do. I will not and cannot quit. Why? It is part of me. Like you, I never dreamed that I would be a prostitute when I was young, but truthfully now I can’t imagine working a “traditional” job that doesn’t include sex with (mostly) married men. I enjoy it for many reasons, but I am also *very* selective with my clients and treat them very well. In return they treat me well as I deserve. I am lucky to have an amazing husband who supports me always and my career, but I have always kept my career hidden from my friends and family. It’s easier that way. It is true that prices have fallen for some, but this hasn’t affected the right clients for me.

    • escortdiary

      Hi Loving,

      Thanks for sharing your perspective.
      It is indeed extremely hard to transition out of the sex industry. I, too, feel like being a prostitute is part of my identity.

      It is fascinating that your husband is accepting and supportive. Does he still support you financially? I am aware that some men enjoy such a relationship as a fetish (cuckolding, etc). Or some men love a woman so much that they put her happiness above their own. I am not sure how I would feel to be with a man who is not somewhat possessive or jealous. Anyways, if he treats you well and truly loves you, then that’s all that matters.
      Well wishes,
      Sahar

      • Loving

        Hi Sahar,
        Thanks for your reply! I eased myself into prostitution almost unknowingly when I was just a teenager and navigating through adolescent relationships. That’s a story for another time. But as I got older I had to come to terms with my two lives. My first was the sweet single “normal” girl with a lot of friends and a professional job. My other life was the one that gave me freedom with everything else as long as I nurtured it, gave nearly all of my time that I could spare, and protected it from my first life with extreme secrecy. So by day I was a building a business career, but my night I was having sex (or not!) with as many men as I could schedule before my body forced me to sleep, while developing an expanding safe client network over time.

        Eventually I realized that I couldn’t live two lives and survive, it was just too unhealthy and unsustainable. I could quit my whoring, but I had become accustomed to the money which empowered me and the control I felt by favorite clients returning to me regularly. My job in communications was interesting and paid the bills, but not as interesting as my secret life that now defined me, at least to myself. I realized that if I quit, I would still never be a “pure” normal woman, as I would always be a prostitute who had slept with hundreds of men even if retired. So in my mid twenties I quit my day job, said a prayer, and went full time. I’ve always been independent so I control who I see, but it also takes a lot of time to screen new clients and avoid abuse, time wasters, etc. But once I was a full time whore, I actually had lots more time for myself, and enjoy life. I learned many things in business by being self employed. I treated myself to nice things like a car, reinvested some of my earnings with surgery to make myself more desirable to my wealthier clients who paid me well for my services, but after work I was alone.

        I missed having a relationship, but who would want to date a young prostitute? That’s some of what you don’t think of when inadvertently starting a longtime sex career. Now there are great message boards for support on the Internet, but at the time they didn’t exist or I didn’t know about them. Around this time I ran into an old acquaintance from school while at a symphony. We began talking and eventually began seeing each other as friends. I could tell J wanted to date me as much as I wanted to date him, but I had a secret not only controlled me but I embraced as my (internal) identity, so I was cold. Surely he would run away as soon as I told him. So what to do?

        Finally one night over dinner I told J I really liked being with him and wanted to see him more but I had a secret that would likely scare him away. I made J promise to keep a secret, and just blurted it out. He seemed surprised, then recovered quickly. He told me he was glad that I trusted him and even more glad that I wasn’t married, which was what he worried about when I told him about a secret. I told him that I was happy with my career and had no interest in stopping it, ever. He told me he would always support my career and my decisions. That night we began dating. I already knew about his dream to be a doctor instead of a medical researcher.

        Two years later we were married, and I began paying for his med school, working more than ever. We support each other’s careers. Now that J is a doctor I guess the answer to your question is he supports me financially, but in reality we are both paying his student loans for now. Med school is expensive and resident years are brutal for everyone, including spouses. I am totally his, but as he points out I allow others to rent me for a time when I choose to. He knows that my career supported his career and he sees my prostitute friends for free when they need medical care. It is great to have someone supportive as a husband and best friend, but we still keep my life secret to everyone except my friends in the business…..I guess there’s really no way around that, but I can live with it.

  3. In this capitalistic world we live in, everything is

    a product. If there is no “revenue” from a social interaction, people will not pursue it.

    As a pretty woman, people either want my sex or my money…or some sort of favor. When I see people who interact with me for me, I count my blessings and savor the moment.

    In this hyper individualistic culture, loneliness became an epidemic in a planet with 7 billion ppl!

    How can u achieve anything remotely close

    to intimacy -let alone actual SEX- within a 15 minute

    “special”? Nothing special about that! Utterly banal and downright disgusting.

    I apologize if I mentioned this before, but sex is so available nowadays that i think

    prostitution will almost become obsolete at some point; save for those who absolutely cannot get it outside of prostitution. (due to health issues/age/physical

    appearance…etc)

    I mean why shouldn’t it be? if the price of the

    average woman became no more than a drink or two. I also forsee sex robots becoming a HUGE industry since robots have no feelings and unfortunately this will set all sick pleasures loose, instead of taming them with self discipline.

    Ofcourse, this has leaked into ‘normal’ relationships

    too. I feel men are becoming less patient in their courting game and may be conditioned to think the woman “owes” them something after a set number of dates and meals. You see, prostitution has a very wide spectrum! we sell our bodies in exchange of security whether physical or emotional (one of the original reasons for marriage), and prostitution is a more direct and independent approach to that.

    I am disgusted by Cardi-B, Lil Kim and the like. I cannot excuse them because now they made money through music and media, they have much power to display a more positive image to society.

    You also have a disease called “instagram modelling”. Young girls taking bad quality selfies in their underwear and getting so much likes and attention for it. The attention is addictive and its sad that they are encouraged. Many of these “models” come to Dubai invited by rich Arab guys who give them a luxurious stay and eventually have sex with them. Nothing more to say after that really….

    • escortdiary

      @Diana Diamond,

      Sorry for the long delay dear, and thank you for your great, intellectual comments.

      I’d love to know your opinion about the honest courtesan (maggie mcneill).

      I have heard of her, but I actually haven’t read her writings yet.

      apologize if I mentioned this before, but sex is so available nowadays that i think prostitution will almost become obsolete at some point; save for those who absolutely cannot get it outside of prostitution. (due to health issues/age/physical appearance…etc)

      I mean why shouldn’t it be? if the price of the average woman became no more than a drink or two. I also forsee sex robots becoming a HUGE industry since robots have no feelings and unfortunately this will set all sick pleasures loose, instead of taming them with self discipline.

      Interesting points. There are many things that can happen….time will tell. There is a lot of meaningless sex. Lots of quantity, but a lack of quality. I use the analogy of GMO fruits and veggies — Genetically modified fruits, for instance, look ‘perfect’ but have less taste or less sweetness compared to the organic ‘imperfect’ fruit. As a result, some people will spend more to taste something more authentic and natural — while others are satisfied with synthetic, low-quality items.

      Ofcourse, this has leaked into ‘normal’ relationships

      too. I feel men are becoming less patient in their courting game and may be conditioned to think the woman “owes” them something after a set number of dates and meals. You see, prostitution has a very wide spectrum! we sell our bodies in exchange of security whether physical or emotional (one of the original reasons for marriage), and prostitution is a more direct and independent approach to that.

      Yep, very true. The sexual ‘revolution’ which induced hyper-sexuality in society has really messed up relations between men and women, as sex has lost it’s value.

      You also have a disease called “instagram modelling”. Young girls taking bad quality selfies in their underwear and getting so much likes and attention for it. The attention is addictive and its sad that they are encouraged. Many of these “models” come to Dubai invited by rich Arab guys who give them a luxurious stay and eventually have sex with them. Nothing more to say after that really….

      Glad you brought up this topic! I have written a lot on this topic as I have been to Dubai and all other Gulf countries, which I will post hopefully soon.

      Best wishes habibty,

      Sahar

      • Wow, Sahar. I love your fruit analogy so much. It shows you have such a deep understanding of relationships and human sexuality.

        I am looking forward to your article! It is very sad to see that even the local girls in the GCC are turning into fake, plastic “fashionistas” who are simply vulgar machines for the consumer culture. They are upper and higher class girls but they still work in escorting with VIP personalities like nasty, old, and married ministers.

        As I’ve always said I feel a deep connection with you and I hope all is well on your end. Stay safe and take care of your precious self.

  4. skulls-n-guns

    As a consumer, I’m happy that the price of sex has fallen. Nothing personal; just business.

    • escortdiary

      Hi skulls-n-guns,

      Indeed cheaper sex is another benefit for the clients of prostitutes …..
      …I mean, who cares that the lives of prostitutes are consumed with degradation, trauma, addiction, depression, social condemnation, physical violence, etc……right?

      Feeling indifferent to the fate of prostitutes is part of the problem.

      -Sahar

      • skulls-n-guns

        Sahar:

        “the lives of prostitutes are consumed with degradation, trauma, addiction, depression, social condemnation, physical violence, etc”

        Do you have any evidence for this, or is it just anecdotal evidence? Sure, I could just Google it, but the burden of proof is on you.

        Besides, there’s no reason why I can’t be happy about lower prices *and* feel bad for prostitutes who have miserable lives (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_dilemma). But hey, who cares about avoiding logical fallacies when you can respond with emotionally-driven nonsense, right?

        “Feeling indifferent to the fate of prostitutes is part of the problem.”

        I’m not indifferent to all prostitutes, only the ones who choose to keep doing it out of their own free will. I do feel sorry for the ones who were forced into it by other people or by circumstances.

      • escortdiary

        Skulls n Guns,

        Though we have differing views, I appreciate your comment as it gives insight to how some clients think.

        There are ample academic studies and primary sources (including my own) that address the issues faced by prostitutes (even by ones who seemingly do it by ‘choice’).

        -Sahar

      • Goodness! The thought of a sex worker being subjugated to this kind of client…

      • escortdiary

        I know! He wrote a very nasty comment in response to you, which I deleted. He is most likely a ‘punter’ or ‘hobbyist’ (a creepy, sociopath loser who rates escorts on scales of 1-10) based off his passive aggressive attitude.

    • skulls-n-guns

      Sahar:

      Are you mentally retarded or just totally lacking in self-awareness? I was only hostile to you and Diana Diamond *because* the 2 of you were hostile to me.

      • escortdiary

        @skulls-n-guns

        Oh I see, tit for tat. Thank you again for showcasing your sociopathic skills. Bravo. Something very bad must have happened to you to make you such a hateful, passive aggressive person. Good luck with that.

    • skulls-n-guns

      Sahar:

      Well, duhhhh! Tit-for-tat is justice.

      You must be extremely self-entitled if you expect to be rude to others without receiving any kind of retaliation. Or maybe your ego is just so massive that it keeps our solar system orbiting around it.

      Also, you calling me passive-aggressive is like MLK Jr calling someone the n-word. XD

  5. Ralph

    I totally agree with you. Fantastic article. I am in love with the girl I see.
    I treat her very well, I don’t treat her as a sexual object. I don’t see her very often because I do not work I suffered a massive stroke. And I can’t afford her price more than once in a while. But I like to take her out to dinner. I actually just like kissing her and holding her next to me. I am 68 years old.
    Sincerely, Ralph

    • escortdiary

      Hi Ralph,

      Thank you for sharing that.
      That’s very kind that you show care and compassion towards ladies of the night. I am sure your kindness makes the day of your special lady a lot more joyous.

      Best wishes,
      Sahar

  6. Dear Sahar, I love reading your comments. You may not know that the experience of reading your blogs carries one into a world beyond the topic at hand that you are discussing; your knowledge, understanding and spiritual connection allow your reader to enter a dreamtime which is a vast storehouse of intelligence and elegance, where the secrets of history can be shared and the great mysteries pondered.
    You have touched so many people with the blessings of your energy through your sensual work and your writings. Your sharings are not in vain nor can they be viewed within the format of degradation that society wishes to frame sex work within.
    I believe that sex work holds an important place in society as a modality of great spiritual teaching and yet its ghettoization has lead the whole format to become debased.
    If sex work was esteemed and valued by society, perhaps workers and clients might naturally gravitate towards a higher quality of offerings, such as the “jnana yoga” that you share with your clients. One recent example of a trend towards greater quality even among the masses has been in the food industry. Slow food, organic and farm to table became trends that swept the nation and I find you can get nice healthy organic food in American malls and airports which never used to be the case.
    I agree that it’s true that in some ways sex work has become more normalized in the past years, and I have enjoyed many Netflix specials offering a window into the lives of escorts, cam girls, strippers, prodommes etc., however the passing this year of FOSTA/SESTA has made the ability to do sex work much more difficult, at least in America. The net crackdown that resulted from this measure has also made it more difficult to freely share erotic materials, like my poetry and writings.
    With many popular sites like Craigslist, Facebook and Tumblr purging themselves of erotic content, I wonder about the direction society will take regarding sex work and sexuality in general.
    Many young people have become bored of porn and meaningless hookups. Perhaps it seemed exciting at first, but over time it feels shallow and empty, even traumatic. They are craving DEPTH but will they get it? What do you think?

    Love, Pua Nani

    • In addition to my comments above, a central question that I have is “what IS sex work?” I mean ideally what is it’s place in society in a model where it is valued?
      One quote that I read from John Wineland stated that men are saddled with many responsibilities and pressures in their masculine role and this manifests in the male nervous system as stress; what they seek in women is nurturing and restoration in feeling states. In that sense, sex work can potentially be a modality of therapy and healing for them.
      You used the words escapism for sex, and perhaps it can be that yes, but it can also be a forum to truly connect in. It can allow you to ground into the magnificence of your earthly presence, to feel alive and vibrant, to touch the divine within yourself and another.
      In my tantra practice I lead clients into a trance state. They leave the outside world behind but the world that they enter is just as complex, yet in a different way. It is a kind of healing that mediates through the body, instead of through talking. That is why I consider sex work to be the psychotherapy of the now moment.

    • escortdiary

      Dear Pua Nani,

      As always, I enjoy your lovely and thought provoking comments.

      I believe that sex work holds an important place in society as a modality of great spiritual teaching and yet its ghettoization has lead the whole format to become debased.

      If sex work was esteemed and valued by society, perhaps workers and clients might naturally gravitate towards a higher quality of offerings, such as the “jnana yoga” that you share with your clients.

      Indeed. Sex, generally, has become disconnected from it’s spiritual/healing element. Sex has fallen off the pedestal into lust, losing it’s sacred element — things would be much different if everyone was aware of the true value of proper intimacy (not lust).

      however the passing this year of FOSTA/SESTA has made the ability to do sex work much more difficult, at least in America. The net crackdown that resulted from this measure has also made it more difficult to freely share erotic materials, like my poetry and writings.

      With many popular sites like Craigslist, Facebook and Tumblr purging themselves of erotic content, I wonder about the direction society will take regarding sex work and sexuality in general.

      What’s happening in the USA is literally a paradox. FOSTA/SESTA wants to get rid of sex work/eroticism as front, and yet nothing has been done to eradicate the reasons WHY people (sellers and consumers) are resorting to sex industry. These laws further hurt women in the sex industry, because it forces sex workers further into the underworld (black market), where they are more exploited, more degraded and face more danger since they are largely unprotected by the public sphere. It’s is deeply ironic how the U.S. government implemented SESTA/FOSTA, and yet the U.S. allows the entertainment industry to promote and glamorize women selling sex in some form. Moreover, why hasn’t the US gov put any measure to halt the enormous porn industry? After all, porn is a main contributor to hyper-sexuality in society. It will be interesting to see the outcomes from this.

      Many young people have become bored of porn and meaningless hookups. Perhaps it seemed exciting at first, but over time it feels shallow and empty, even traumatic. They are craving DEPTH but will they get it? What do you think?

      This is why depression, mental health issues and drug use are on the rise. The human need for genuine care and belonging has been negated for many. Porn, hook ups and materialism don’t fulfil the wholesome need for genuine intimacy.

      In addition to my comments above, a central question that I have is “what IS sex work?” I mean ideally what is it’s place in society in a model where it is valued?
      One quote that I read from John Wineland stated that men are saddled with many responsibilities and pressures in their masculine role and this manifests in the male nervous system as stress; what they seek in women is nurturing and restoration in feeling states. In that sense, sex work can potentially be a modality of therapy and healing for them.

      Exactly, men and women are supposed to compliment each other. It’s natures duality, which all ancient cultures observed. Ying and yang. Night and day. Hot and Cold, etc. Each both different, yet each compliment each other to make each other whole.

      With love,
      Sahar

  7. Dear Sahar,
    I’m so happy you wrote this post! To me, it touches the essence of how and why sex work exists today, it this society, in these conditions.
    I certainly noticed the degredation of sex work, as you wrote.
    Sex workers are offerering practices that are dangerous for them and the clients.
    ‘Inflation of women’. You touched the essence again.
    This is a very worrisome tendency. Glamourizing the sex industry only put women who are already sex workers, in danger, as they have to degrade their standards.

    You write: “When people are unhappy or stressed, most will resort to various outlets (drugs, sex, porn, food) to cope. ”
    This also counts for a lot of women who decide to enter sex work, I think.
    However when it comes to prostitutes, I’d like to rephrase ‘outlet’ into ‘necessity’. Without emotional and financial security, the idea of sex work came into my mind. Even though my clients have always been lovely, and I they certainly don’t fill the void.
    For me, prostitution was also a means to escapism to me.
    As the demands in society are becoming more difficult to be met, people will find other means, and I think this is the cause of most social ills these days.
    ‘If we can’t meet their standards, why be good anyway?’

    As for Amber Rose, Cardi B (Lil’ Kim and others): I think they are glorifying the sexualisation of women and they are glorifying sex work as a means to save themselves. These women have been sex workers before.
    I’m not saying this is right, as it has clearly a negative influence on women and men and leads indirectly to the deterioration in sex work….
    But I think these are selfish attemps to save oneself.
    I’m sorry if I point this out too simplistic. But I wonder…
    They were already stigmatized by society.
    If they decided to enter another profession, would they have taken seriously?
    They will never be taken seriously as ‘normal’, ‘non-sexual’ artists.
    They made a mistake (entering sex work) and they refuse to undergo the consequences, namely having less opportunities after sex work, because of the stigma, being ostracized by society anyway.
    Maybe it’s my upbringing, and I’m quite sure you won’t fully agree with me.
    In this multimedia era (and erea) you can’t do sex work and then expect it will never come out.
    I personally take this into account. There is always a chance this misfortune can happen….
    If I get outed unwillingly, what should I do…?
    What choices do I have left?
    I will make the best of it. If I can’t enter another profession because of the stigma, the only choice is become the best of what I do (did/do).
    I have tried to speak on behalf of the female artist who were sex workers in a way.
    Why other artists (women and men) are doing it..? That’s just pure selfish gain I think.
    Not that it’s not the case with Amber Rose, Cardi B and Lil’ Kim (in the old days), but I consider ‘the saving oneself in a already heartless world’- aspect.
    Survival of the fittest. Exploit others in order to not get exploited.

    Anyway, we both agree agree on the fact that all of these social ills are related and are the result of a capitalistic world system based on consumerism, as you said. And most people blindly accept it.
    We cannot decrease sex work or ‘save’ sex workers, if people aren’t willing to see the larger reality. These ‘rescue attempts’ are often not more humane than mere detentions, in my eyes. Because these sex workers are still not allowed to explain the REAL cause and the reasons behind the ‘decision’ to enter sex work, namely a completely abusive capitalistic system that exploits everybody, except for a few powerful people. The conditions of sex workers are far worse because we face stigma.

    Now, I finally got this off my back. We are free to agree and disagree. ;).
    I’m sure you can enlighten me with your answers.

    • escortdiary

      @Aphrodite,

      Thank you for great comments as always.

      However when it comes to prostitutes, I’d like to rephrase ‘outlet’ into ‘necessity’. Without emotional and financial security, the idea of sex work came into my mind. Even though my clients have always been lovely, and I they certainly don’t fill the void.
      For me, prostitution was also a means to escapism to me.

      Yes indeed. We both have resorted to prostitution as a form of coping and surviving undesirable circumstances (though, at least you and I could find relative joy in seeing clients….whereas I met too many other escorts who were further traumatized by their encounters with clients).

      As for Amber Rose, Cardi B (Lil’ Kim and others): I think they are glorifying the sexualisation of women and they are glorifying sex work as a means to save themselves. These women have been sex workers before.
      I’m not saying this is right, as it has clearly a negative influence on women and men and leads indirectly to the deterioration in sex work….

      For sure..I agree. These current female “pro-hoe” rappers are mostly unaware or numbed to what they are contributing too (and let’s not forget they are basically pimped out by the music industry). Newer generation rappers like Cardi B and Nikki Minaj are all about making money at any cost and literally have rap lyrics that are catchy advertisements. To be successful in the music industry nowadays, one literally has to follow a script and promote materialism, intoxicants, arrogance, a false luxurious lifestyle, etc.

      Previous female rappers in the same genre were less mainstream and had less of an exploitative agenda. I used to listen to Trina, Foxy Brown and others whenever I wanted have a laugh and feel good/justified about being a prostitute. I still do at times, because it’s somewhat relatable. The only Lil’ Kim song that I liked was “How many Licks” 😋. Interestingly, in certain Black African American contexts, being a prostitute or stripper is actually less stigmatized compared to other ethnic societies.

      Maybe it’s my upbringing, and I’m quite sure you won’t fully agree with me.
      In this multimedia era (and erea) you can’t do sex work and then expect it will never come out.
      I personally take this into account. There is always a chance this misfortune can happen….
      If I get outed unwillingly, what should I do…?
      What choices do I have left?
      I will make the best of it. If I can’t enter another profession because of the stigma, the only choice is become the best of what I do (did/do).

      Interesting point dear. Indeed prostitutes should make the best of their situation as much as they can, especially since they are kinda ‘stuck’ in the game. I can understand why some women just come out in the open and stop caring what society/others think. We should indeed not care what others think regarding our work, but I don’t think fully outing oneself is a good idea. I got over my fear of my family and others finding out — yet I still keep things private simply because I don’t feel a need for my sexual life to be validated by others. I also don’t want my identity to be attached to prostitution. But to each their own.

      We cannot decrease sex work or ‘save’ sex workers, if people aren’t willing to see the larger reality. These ‘rescue attempts’ are often not more humane than mere detentions, in my eyes. Because these sex workers are still not allowed to explain the REAL cause and the reasons behind the ‘decision’ to enter sex work, namely a completely abusive capitalistic system that exploits everybody, except for a few powerful people. The conditions of sex workers are far worse because we face stigma.

      Well said. There needs to be proactive solutions to prevent new girls from resorting to sex work. This would require a radical shift in the way society thinks about sex and women. This would require more wholesome role models for men and women, and a strengthening of family values —
      But whether or not this could actually happen is questionable, because consumer capitalism can only thrive on unfulfilled, unhappy people. People who have proper love and care are less likely to buy endless crap they don’t need, lol.

      Anyways…..as you mentioned, prostitutes should make the best of their situation. We can adapt and find new ways of finding contentment =)

      Keep your head up girl,

      Love Sahar

      • “Interesting point dear. Indeed prostitutes should make the best of their situation as much as they can, especially since they are kinda ‘stuck’ in the game. I can understand why some women just come out in the open and stop caring what society/others think. We should indeed not care what others think regarding our work, but I don’t think fully outing oneself is a good idea. I got over my fear of my family and others finding out — yet I still keep things private simply because I don’t feel a need for my sexual life to be validated by others. I also don’t want my identity to be attached to prostitution. But to each their own.”

        I don’t think fully outing is a good idea either.
        The reasoning behind my words was: ‘What if my secret will be discovered (again)? I hope that will never be the case.
        And I’m not planning to come out.
        I’ll probably be silent about it.
        I think that’s the best ‘strategy’. I used to talk more about myself.
        Now I’ve come to a point where I keep my life as vague as possible.
        Except for these aspects in life that are not stigmatized, such as my course.
        But just like you, I don’t need validation for my sexual life by others.

        Love Aphrodite

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