The Courtesan: Preparing for a Client in Vain..

preparing-in-vainI step out of the shower, and lotion my body to make it silky soft and soothe. I silken my hair. I apply my makeup with a racy, provocative touch.

I press red lipstick against my soft lips and decorate my eyes with dark liner. For a second, I imagine you are staring at me in all my vanity. How I know it will arouse you to see me so delicate and so alluring. Not only do I look as if saturated in lust, but my scent is just as daring, my demeanor is even more risqué. Its all yours, I say to myself.

Then I squeeze my generous portions of breasts into a silk and lace bra…a bra too small for my voluptuous breasts. How inviting they are…and how I long for you too see me in such a spectacular sight. Finally, I slip on a matching panty over hips that were made to be grasped by loving hands.

I caress my breasts and close my eyes. I caress myself by imitating all the ways you once touched me. I am taken back to a vision of when your hands lovingly grabbed a hold of my soft flesh….and how they were placed onto the warmth of your mouth. My scent is dripping in allure, and how I long for you to taste me.

I’ve prepared my body for a client…drenched in my sensual ritual. My body is ready to arouse, to evoke admiration. I anticipate how a strange man will feast his eyes on my womanly body, along with my reddened lips and eyes. He will be mesmerized by my smile, and he will feast on my enticing curves. But my dearest, I wish it wasn’t some strange man who is granted such pleasures — I wish it was you.

bustyNow he see’s me and compliments my vain efforts. Slowly everything comes off, all my attire. The only thing that remains is the erotic nature of my face, and a very exposed body. Instead of you, it is a strange mans mouth who explores and tastes my body. When he parts my legs, how I long for you to be in his place. So I close my eyes, and imagine that your soft lips are touching my skin.

He is so aroused, and yet I only long to see your arousal. I have no desire to tease him with my ornaments like I did with you, nor show him my erotic capabilities ..no, I reserve them all for you. Yet still I pretend..I pretend as if your touch is what I feel. Take my body and immerse yourself in me. He is left fulfilled and satisfied, while my insatiable desire is left longing…….yearning.

The job is done. I remove the facade one by one, and slip back into normal attire. I put back the jewelry, and fine lingeries. I look at them closely and recite a line I once heard: “What are these pearls for ….if they are valued by no one?”

7 Comments

Filed under Memories, My Erotic Writings, My Poetry and Others, The Escorting Business

7 responses to “The Courtesan: Preparing for a Client in Vain..

  1. Thank you for saying what I cannot. That was beautiful.

  2. Paul

    Beautifully written and profoundly moving – thank you for this and all your writings.

    I am a man and I have experience of all sides of the “escort experience”…

    I also have a number of female friends who are escorts and with whom I have talked and shared extensively, and what you say and how you say it is, I now know, the reality and the truth.

    And yet… in moments of weakness and/or need – even knowing what I know and the truth which you describe – it is what it is and remains as just that – an honest exchange of money for sex, and if both parties know that without illusion – then it is OK.

    Thank you again for your insight and honesty.

  3. escortdiary

    Thank you Paul for commenting and sharing that.
    Indeed, there are particular cases between escorts and lovely clients where the exchange is genuine and honest. But I have to say many other women give the notion of everything being ‘an honest exchange’ but in reality she experiences a sort of loss, a loss which no amount of money can compensate for.

    • Paul

      I entirely agree with you, and I have seen that loss and the damage it does – at first hand! But from a “customer’s perspective – if someone is there in the “marketplace” offering something for sale, in this case sex, then that is what the customer is buying. And in the moment of “need or weakness” that is all that the customer is thinking about. So at that level it just an “honest exchange”. However, I also fully realize that many customers naively think/hope/expect they are buying “more” i.e. affection, intimacy etc which of course they aren’t. But it also works the other way, in S..E.Asia where I live there are many escorts who hope and surprisingly often do find a customer with whom they form a relationship stop “working”, and the guy (usually western, older and more affluent) does “take care” of them and marry them…But your point remains and is valid. Maybe if we all truly knew what we did to our selves and to each other, we wouldn’t do it…or at least we would do it more mindfully…and if we were that, then maybe we couldn’t do it at all?

      • escortdiary

        Thanks for sharing that Paul. Sadly, women/men who sell themselves have been compared to objects sold in a market…assuming we can be commoditized like products. This idea of objectification is a problematic, because it ignores the human condition. Anyway, I like what you wrote, “Maybe if we all truly knew what we did to our selves and to each other, we wouldn’t do it.” This is exactly why I write this blog: to create a better understanding of experiences of prostitutes for outsiders, clients and escorts themselves. It’s not to stop the sex industry, but make the best of the situation. A lot of the negativity stemming from the Modern sex industry is due to stereotypes and a lack of understanding for escorts/clients. Perhaps at best it can allow outsiders to view such stigmatized individuals as less of a threat to society, and thus create a just, humanistic treatment of such people.

  4. IAN

    The oldest profession and the most complex profession – where do the answers really lie ?

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