Answering Your Questions #3: Client and Escort Dynamics

I’m on a minor path of self-destruction…but I’ll explain that later. For now, I’ve decided to answer some of the numerous questions or key-words that my viewer’s google to locate my blog. Yet before I begin, I want to share some metaphors from an old film about the life of a high-class courtesan, “Pakeezah” (which translates to ‘pure heart’). In reference to herself, the courtesan says, “Prostitutes are dead bodies and the market is the graveyard…. I’m a dead body that’s lured by life again and again.” She then compared herself to a kite, a kite that is slowly cut away by the forces of wind…where only bits and fragments remain. The pain of her words….they touch me, intimately.

 

1. Do prostitutes like sex or money?

Money drives us to this job. As mentioned in previous posts, prostitutes should not be assumed to be a woman who loves sex. And if she does love sex, this does not imply that she loves sex with all of her clients. Many escorts do not derive any personal sexual pleasure at all with clients. Only a very tiny minority of escorts, like myself, enjoy intimacy with their clients. But overall, for prostitutes, the lure of money is the appealing part of our work, not the sex. It is very important to note selling one’s body was not a ‘choice’ for most sex workers, when considering the limited amounts of choice available to people in marginalized positions.

For many sex workers, sex is the dreadful part (not in my case, but most escorts I observed aren’t quite as open sexually as I am). Many just want to get it over with as quickly as possible. A small minority of girls can enjoy particular clients and feel pleasure (as a courtesan, I do enjoy certain clients of mine as companions and sexual partners), yet again: the focus is money. I certainly have enjoyed some clients, but regardless I will not sleep/mingle with a man that I don’t love for free. The idea that prostitutes are these horny, ‘hyper-sexual’ women hardly depicts the reality. I wish more prostitutes enjoyed their work as I am often able to do, but the reality is most women doing this job are driven by real or perceived economic disparity. Women who are in touch with their sexuality (ie: horny) exist regardless of profession.

 

2. What information should an escort obtain from her client?

Just like us, most clients want to be discreet. They might use fake names, because they are married and don’t want to risk their identity being known. Anonymity is central to the business for both escorts and clients. Asking too much personal information may defer clientele, while others are happily to disclose their life biographies. I screen my clients by judging their telephone/email etiquette — I ask them to briefly tell me about their age, nationality, what intentions they for me, etc.

 

3. Why don’t escorts like to tell their real name?

We fear of associating our identity with our profession. Why? This might impact our social mobility, social relationships (such as their family and friends finding out). Prostitution, whether legal or illegal, is still stigmatized. Society has harsh, negative consequences for women who are known to be prostitutes, so we are forced to remain secretive (otherwise we risk a lot of negative social sanctions).

 

4. How to Please a Prostitute/ How to have Good Sex with an Escort?

Well, in a bitter way, I could say: don’t be demanding, and don’t annoy her. Many girls complain about clients who don’t follow our ‘rules’ (or limits), such as touching places without permission. Pleasure is a very subjective question. Giving pleasure to a ‘normal’ woman is very different than a woman who is paid for sex. And to complicate the situation even more, everyone’s desires are different. A woman who gets paid for sex may not want to be ‘pleased’ by her client. Some girls strictly just want money from their client, and refuse to get sexual pleasure (and the good ones fake it). However, a small minority of us might be more accepting. The best clients are men who do not expect and are respectful.

Many of my clients are very polite and respectful men, which makes me feel comfortable to explore with them. I favor certain clients who have genuinely kind hearts, and I allow them to please me in ways that I may forbid others. I favor certain clients only because they gained my trust. I must mention that almost all clients try to give me pleasure, but certain men fail to understand the essence of pleasure. For one, some men seem to think that one sexual technique can apply to all women. This is completely wrong. Any sexual experience is very unique and cannot be performed in a uniform act. Bare in mind that all people have their own unique ways of reaching orgasm. And, unfortunately, there are women who are not interested in achieving their own orgasm . Most importantly, good sex depends on emotional and physical chemistry between the participants — chemistry is something that cannot be bought or created…it’s a rare beauty that just happens between two people. It’s best to test areas, slowly (with a willing partner, of course), and then gradually proceed.

If I must advise a client on ‘how to have a better experience with an escort’ I would suggest the following techniques clients have done with me: start by giving her a relaxing massage. I recall clients who gave me a full body massage, without touching my erogenous regions right away. Not only will it relax a woman, but it can gain her trust of his touch. Let everything occur slowly, so that she can anticipated every progression of passion. The slow-pace seduction will drive her crazy, and thus (hopefully) have her wanting more. Some of my clients were totally selfless…not tending to their sexual needs, but instead focusing on making me feel relaxed (again, it’s important not to rush!). A good lover will explore what she likes, by gently trying to kiss various parts of her body. Let her guide you to what she likes. This worked with me with certain clients, but again, it was all based on chemistry. Be mindful that desires of an individual can also change depending on their mood.

Chemistry is key, but also the mood of the hired lady is a deal-breaker. I do let sweet clients give me pleasure when I’m in the ‘mood,’ yet sometimes I loathe the idea. Although most of my clients are kind, I am not genuinely attracted to all of them. Sometimes I avoid seeing certain clients, because I know they want to spend the entire appointment in a  “Girlfriend Experience” state. This consists a romantic ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ situation where the client wants to kiss, cuddle, give me pleasure, and have sex at the very end of the appointment. The men are very sweet, which seems ideal, but it can be exhausting acting like a ‘girlfriend’ to a man I don’t love/care about. Most of my regular clients are all pleasure giving men, which means I try to avoid seeing them when my mood is bad. It’s even more difficult to see clients when I’m in love with someone else. When I am single, I find it much easier to work and enjoy clients.

 

5. How to Make Clients/Men Love You (As an Escort)?

There are no uniform steps to make a client love you — it just happens naturally. From my observations, investing in ‘fake’ behavior doesn’t reap benefits, nor does it attract wholesome people. Be yourself. Love is something we cannot plan or predict. It just happens. I’ve tried experiments of altering my behavior with clients (from acting overly slutty to acting innocent). I found that being as I am works best. I’ve tried to analyze the men who love me: why do they love me? They love me because I was ‘real’ with them. The trend I noticed is men who loved me are ones I didn’t care to impress. I acted indifferent with them upon initial meetings….and genuinely had little interest in being with them. Maybe my independence is appealing for some men, …they find it challenging that I, seemingly, don’t need them.

I could advise women to be manicured, polished and glamourous to make clients love them, but I’ve seen very unpolished girls with plenty of admirers. I no longer believe that investing heavily into cosmetic/external beauty will equate to admirers (sure, exterior beauty might attract men, but that alone wont make them kneel at your feet).

 

6. What is the Difference between an Escort and High-class Escort?

There is no real difference. The only difference is the marketing and approaching various scales of clientele. One girl can be playing two roles: a regular escort, which means more clients, lower price; Or a high-class ‘exclusive’ escort, which means higher priced and limited clientele. Yet at the end of the day, a regular and exclusive escort are the same thing. Service, intimacy and beauty are subjective irrespective of whether an escort is ‘high-class’ or not. I’ve seen stunning women who work for two different agencies….one that’s exclusive and very expensive, and another that’s medium price range with more clientele. There is not a rigid boundary, as many ‘regular’ escorts can eventually establish themselves as courtesans with a more limited clientele. And vice versa, a courtesan is also susceptible to falling down the prostitute social hierarchy.

 

7. Do ‘hookers’ love having sex on drugs ?

I found this question quite strange. That’s a terribly wrong analysis. Firstly, women who work while on drugs  usually hate sex more than other sex workers. They are taking drugs to cope with the fact they hate servicing men. Even high-class escorts will resort to ‘numbing’ with subsistence’s in order to make money and ignore their hatred of servicing men.

 

8. What’s it like to be an escort?

(Please check my blog later, as I am writing a post on my personal ‘lifestyle’ as an escort).

 

9. What are Reasons (for men) visiting prostitutes?

A lot of my married clients have a similar reasoning for seeing me: they say they love their wives, but their wives no longer have sex. Or men claim they like variety. Due to social expectations, many men marry one woman as a foundation for family, but does it mean they limit the number of ‘unofficial’ women for their sexual purposes? Does marriage always translate into good sex? Some men openly say they desire ‘variety’ for sex, while others contend that it’s the fault of the wife. This is something I hear time and time again: Wives stop having sex, and assume that their husband should not have sex either. There are a multitude of reasons. Some men don’t just need sex, they want pleasurable sex, sex with emotion and a deep connection. Perhaps some men are unable to express their desires with others, so they hope to find sensual solace with a prostitute.

There are also other married men who get lots of sex from their wives (even good sex), but they like something ‘different.’ Perhaps they need to prove to themselves that they still have the power to be appealing? Perhaps their egos need a little inflating? Many academics argue that the Western construction of ‘Masculinity’ influences men to prove their so-called ‘manhood’ by sleeping with multiple women (as if women are to be conquered). It’s not so much out of their personal desire solely, but rather societal norms for ‘being a man’ indoctrinate some men to prove themselves as ‘manly.’ So, just in case you’re one of those women whom tell men to ‘act like a man’…you are influencing the discourse of men to behave in a ‘Masculine’ construct, thus aiding the gender binary construct. Constructions of identity are very powerful, as they create a so-called ideal. The current constructions of masculinity and femininity in a Western context are very harming, as they serve an elite status quo rather than a collectivist effort.

In some historical contexts, men resorted to ‘comfort women’ in scenarios where ‘proper’ women did not exist, such as situations of war and colonization (which still occurs today).

Some Single/bachelor clients have told me that sex with an escort is better and easier than trying to find it ‘for free’ at nightclubs. It’s easy for a man to pay a woman for sex rather than the effort of convincing a ‘normal woman’ to have sex with no-strings-attached.

As for another calibre of clients: some single clients are truly lonely, and have little interaction with women. They do not seek a prostitute for sex necessarily, but rather they desire intimate companionship with a woman. These are the type of men who need to be hugged, and cuddled, and in these instances I like to think of myself as a healer. Yet in reality I am not helping their situation, because they are seeking love while I am seeking money. I feel compelled to tell these lost souls that they are looking for love in the wrong places.

 

10. What are Some Tips to Stay Positive while being an Escort?

My only suggestion is to work as LESS as possible. Do not work everyday! Try to work once a week, or even less. The industry is very exhausting (emotionally), especially if that is your sole profession. Since I am in a committed arrangement (with the Sheik), I don’t really have to work. Thankfully. Lately, I work only once a week, or sometimes even less (sometimes I don’t work for months.) Yet even working minimally I am still affected by the ills of living a secret, socially condemned life. Having sex for money is not a problem, but being a prostitute is difficult because of the implications in modern society (stigma, criminalization, being deprived of the ‘privileges’ associated with heteronormativity). For years I tried  to make the job easier for myself. I told myself I wouldn’t let the work affect my emotions, or touch my soul. But it’s not easy all the time.  I work less, so I can stabilize my emotions and do happy things, such as being with people I love. One can simply not block out emotions without using something, usually intoxicants, to distract them from reality. Nobody, regardless of their profession, can constantly remain happy….life is about happiness and sadness. We must experience these emotions, so we can (hopefully) reflect on our lives.

 

11. Do prostitutes remember their strangest clients ?

Yes! How can I forget the men who licked my underarms; or the man who booked me for 8 hours just to worship/lick my feet, hands, and bottom for the entire 8 hours without any sex; ….or the guy who used to pay to massage me the entire appointment and never even take off his clothes.

When a group of escorts come together we do discuss the ‘strange’ and ‘weird’ clients — which can often be quite funny. A lot of girls like to laugh about the ‘fetish’ clients they had, such as, “The foot guy,” “The bottom licker,” etc. For the most part, I don’t mind men with ‘strange’ fetishes, and I try to understand their unconventional fixations. It’s tragic that certain sexual acts are even referred to as ‘strange,’ which indirectly says that some sexual acts are more performed than others. In sex, there should be variety of desired acts, so nothing should be considered ‘strange.’ Personally, I enjoy men who have ‘fetishes.’ After all, being too ‘vanilla’ gets quite boring.

 

12. How Much Money Do Escorts Make?

It really depends on the girl. Essentially, when one has the ability to manipulate and numb/ignore emotions the amount of money is limitless. Unfortunately, as humans it’s very difficult to ignore our emotions all the time. The two factors that lead to money are: charm (in the form of personality, beauty, and skills) and secondly, emotional sensitivity. I  consider myself quite charming in the sense I am skilled, beautiful and have a dynamic personality, yet I am very emotionally sensitive. Therefore, I don’t work often because I find too many clients stressful and overwhelming. The clients are lovely often, but putting on a facade and being affectionate to someone I don’t love is quite, surprisingly, exhausting for me. I have never worked full-time as an escort, because I need other things to do in life. I am motivated to make money for saving, paying bills, and doing some shopping, but I do not seek more. In the past, I made more money when my needs were greater, but I also spent it lavishly since my lifestyle was different than it is today.  If I wanted, I could work harder and see more clients, but a full-time lifestyle as an escort seems like suicide to me. Balance is key.

 

13. What if a Prostitute sees a Client in Public (outside her work) ?

This has happened to me numerous times. I used to have a huge social phobia about running into clients outside of work. I feared, because clients may approach me, or call me by my alias. And my fears were confirmed when prior clients of mine have approached me in public! I even saw a client while I was shopping with my Mother…it was extremely nerve-racking. I don’t want my clients to know the ‘real’ me that exists in day-to-day life. I just want to remain their fantasy, and nothing else. I had another client shopping with his wife and kids. He saw me looking totally different, wearing no makeup. He came back to see me, and said he was so excited to see me while he was with his wife. This is another reasons why I don’t want to meet too many new clients — I don’t want to be known. Clients represent a separate world that I don’t want to mix with my personal life.

 

14. Is it Unhealthy to Sleep with an Escort? Is it safe to have sex with a Prostitute?

All escorts use PROTECTION with their clients. Some girls will do more than others when seduced by money, but for sex we all use condoms. Only an insane/desperate woman would have sex without a condom; and equally only an insane man would sleep with an escort without a condom. It’s absolutely unheard of high-class escorts having unprotected sex with their clients. However, if a client and an escort become more intimate and personal, the dynamics can change. Some of my regular clients, whom I’ve known for years, have asked if we can try without a condom. They trust me, I suppose. But I decline, and say no. Overall, most escorts are extremely health conscious. However, risks of STI’s can be contracted from non-penetrative acts as well.

The women who take more risks are doing it to meet the demands of clients — because for many clients oral-sex with condoms and no kissing is quite boring. Sadly, some escorts perform the highly sought ‘bare-back blow-job’ (fellatio without a condom) to get more clients. What these women don’t realize is that they are getting short term gain (money) for long-term risk (diseases). As for the bulk of escorts, we take minimal risks: we use a condom for sex and oral sex. Therefore, it is no more/less unhealthy to sleep with an escort if she uses protection during all sex acts.

Given there is minimal skin-to-skin contact, sleeping with a high-class escort can be a bit “unfulfilling” from a client’s perspective. I use the word “unfulfilling” because sex with a prostitute is often physical without true intimacy. Amazing sex is based on mind and body stimulation. Thus, sex between a client/prostitute lacks the essential stimulation of the mind. After all, how exhilarating and delicious can sex be without deep kissing, touching, sucking, and tasting ?  Those ‘delicious’ acts are risky with clients, yet many clients demand this. They want the closest to ‘real’ sex as possible. They want their escort to act like their girlfriend: they want to eat her pussy, kiss her lips, and feel her mouth over his manhood. There is tremendous pressure for escorts to go beyond safe limits to make her clients happy. Many clients prefer cheaper women, because it is assumed that cheaper women do ‘more’ for ‘less’ (thus, the risk is increased). These men miss the essence of pleasurable sex, because pleasure is based on connection (not how much or how little one is willing to do). There are also very high priced escorts who ‘do it all’ to a more limited clientele. This places tremendous pressure on women in the industry: how easy is it for a woman to maintain her safety, comfortability and be successful?

 

15: Do prostitutes have rules / restrictions?

Yes, clients play by our rules, not theirs. Yet there is an irony to that statement. Most escorts promote themselves as women who “Cater to the Clients Needs,” but in reality we set the boundaries and limits. Every girl is unique to what she offers in terms of her services. We all offer sex, but we do it in different ways. For instance, limits/restrictions might include: no kissing or light kissing only, clients can release multiple times or maybe only once, no oral sex without a condom, no receiving of oral sex, no touching between her legs, etc. My restrictions are that everything is ‘covered,’ which means I take no risks. I do not passionately kiss clients easily, but I must admit that I’ve given up many limitations with the occasional handsome, delicious client — or favoured regulars. For instance, when I met the Sheik, as a client, we ended up kissing passionately — of course, our chemistry was rare and intense.

As mention, a majority of clients demand riskier services (oral sex without protection, ‘greek,’ etc), so unfortunately a lot of escorts will jeopardize their health to make more money. I feel disgusted when a prospective client, who’s never met me yet, will ask if perform ‘natural French’ which is a oral sex without a condom. How can he take such a risk with a woman whose history is unknown? Likewise, most clients request to service me between my legs with their mouths, which seems flattering, but I can’t help but wonder: don’t clients think of how many other men have touched my body?  How can he be sure that I am ‘clean?’ What I realized is that many men get aroused by the idea of a ‘dirty’ woman. By no means am I ‘dirty,’ but I have slept with countless men….and that fact alone is a fantasy for some men.

Sex workers might advertise ‘passionate’ services or ‘porn-star’ services to attract a more clientele, but the reality is we cannot perform uniform techniques with every single client we encounter. Human sexuality is not uniform, and attempting uniformity is a bad way at approaching others. Sure, we have restrictions, but they are deeply influenced by the chemistry we develop with clients. To expect a sex worker to give a stellar performance with every client is a very unrealistic, dehumanizing expectation.

Finally, a rare breed of clients have their own terms in addition to hers. For instance, a rare category of clients do not seek sexual intercourse with escorts — instead they may just seek oral or hand release, or perhaps they just want to play with themselves in the company of a beautiful woman. There may be norms and patterns in sexual behaviour, but every experience is still unique.

47 Comments

Filed under "High-class" prostitution, Facts About the Sex Industry, High-class prostitution, Questions for Escorts And Clients, The Escorting Business

47 responses to “Answering Your Questions #3: Client and Escort Dynamics

  1. Mike

    You are awesome and I learn so much reading your blog. I am seeing a few providers who I really care for and loyal to and often wonder about what their lives are like. You have given me such a good perspective. I look forward to reading your book one day so consider writing one soon. 🙂

    • escortdiary

      Thanks Mike

      I’m glad to share insight. It’s great that you, as an escort patron, are keen to learn about your providers.

  2. Ivan

    Always nice to read your thoughts =), and had no idea you worked once per week i thought it was more often for some reason…

    • escortdiary

      Thank you Ivan.

      Well lately I barely work at all..because I get enough from one.

      Occasionally I’ll work more frequently, but then I’ll take a long break.

      • Ivan

        curious… the sheik has no idea that you work from time to time? for some reason i cant picture him accepting this.

  3. mr.charlie

    I recently found out that this girl i have been seeing is an escort. I truly care for her, but I am very confused and am unsure how to react.
    I need advice

  4. Hope

    In response to comment by Mr.charlie:
    As an escort myself, I can tell you it is just a job to her and most likely she valued that you treated her like a regular and beautiful woman that she is. I would say that being an escort is considered so shameful that it is the one lie you should really try to forgive her for telling you. How you proceed from there is up to you two, but please try to forgive her.

    @Exotic Escort Diary: I love this blog, I just found it. I am a mom and I am supporting my kid because her father left me with nothing. I was reading your categories and liked it, but i think you forgot the one where moms go, but i don’t usually tell my clients. I guess I didn’t fit into any of your categories and to me providing feels like a healthy choice, but as i age i know i will need a new way and I sometimes fear my daughter will judge me, but not that much as my entire family and many of my friends accept what i do. She is just too young to know now.
    Other than this I agree with much of what you say, but when i think of quitting i get sad and I do like the sex maybe 7/10 times, but a lot of my clients are sexy and take really good care of themselves. I only have 0-5 appts a week and am expensive and like longer appts. On rare occasions, I use booze to numb myself, but mainly, it is more just to relax a bit more during appt. When I use this to numb myself it is usually because I cannot stand my client, yet I pretend to.

    I hope you can learn to love yourself. A money addiction can be overcome and fear of being abandoned like you were when your parents split can also be overcome. I have been going to therapy for 2 years about my ex and slowly am learning to love myself again. it is slow and aging can be hard, but it is good. You seem like you are using your providing to bring yourself ahead and you should be proud of yourself that.

    Do you study in English? I am wanting to apply to grad schools abroad.

  5. Ana

    Hi dear,
    I’ve just stumbled on your blog yesterday and I can’t stop reading it. Your writing style is enticing. It reminds me of the book I read by Betsy Prioleau “Seductress”. Very empowering.

  6. Aman

    hi I found your blog very interesting you have given a nice synopsis about life of an a modern high class escort and the challenges you face about keeping yourself under limits, but I think lof of girls join it because its an easy money as they think but its not because its quite nerve reckoning to be at your best all the time and disconnecting from your self just to give them pleasure and make them feel like a man and topping or their egos that they can manipulate as much as many women they want.
    But their are many beautiful women working in your profession what makes them to choose this profession is it the money or some other factor like they are forced into it by someone or they are into drugs and wana live a lavish lifestyle, Are most girls from your professional are struggling model and actresses who couldn’t get any break in the glamour industry turn to the world’s oldest profession to support themself and their habbits.

    • escortdiary

      Thank you for commenting.

      You said it well: lots of girls join it because of ‘easy’ money.

      Yes, indeed. Some women, who are not forced into this industry, think it’s ‘easy’ money. But many of these women are totally unaware of the implications of their entering of the sex industry. I wrote about this in previous posts, where a lot of women are selling themselves for social prestige. No, these types are not struggling for survival, but rather they want money so they can enhance their material possessions, which thus elevates their social status. This is very problematic, because some women have this idea that their worth is shallow based. The question that needs to be addressed is: Why are many women being conditioned to feel they NEED material items to be worthy? This is the outcome of neoliberal ideology, where individualism and self-worth are emphasized (which is problematic, because self-worth becomes equated material consumption).

  7. UpscaleHooker

    I am just going to say, you are very lucky if you can always have those boundaries and consistently have good reviews. I don’t know what country you are from, but in the U.S to make a living one pretty much has to offer GFE. This includes DFK (deep french kissing..ewwwww) and blowjobs without a condom and oral sex on the lady. In fact, they usually will get irritated if you wont let them finish in your mouth and get mad if you wont let them rough finger your vagina to induce ‘squirting.’ I don’t let them rough finger me, I don’t do cum in mouth, and I try to keep their tongue from reaching my throat. I also don’t do ‘stripper slide’ which is when he wants to rub his penis on my bare vagina with no condom. They sometimes get mad about these things and I have to almost slap them to make them stop. So in sum, full gfe is basically required to good money and steady work. And every experience must be uniform and equal in passion, dfk, uncovered oral, oral on me, etc. Or i can risk a bad review and the guys alwys sympathize with each other saying ‘oh I’m sorry she treated you like that you just wanted full gfe’ and it’s disgusting. But these things are typically universal from 100 per hour ladies all the way up to 900 per hour ladies. I am just saying it is hard to have a good reputation by being limited, ‘safe’ gfe. There have been a few times I just could not let the guy’s tongue down my throat and give the full experience and yes those times I did receive reviews saying I was ‘cold.’ Yes many guys do not post reviews. But let’s face it, 90% of those who see me (us, you, the general market) are hobbyists meaning they either write reviews or analyze reviews heavily. It is horrible. But yeah, I would love to live in a place where full gfe is not required to make a good income.

    • escortdiary

      Thank you for commenting. I have to say what you shared is very disheartening. Indeed there are really tragic and dark sides to the sex industry, which you mentioned the popularity of degrading acts of sex. I have never even heard of this ‘stripper slide,’ which sounds very degrading. It is terrifying knowing some girls actually tolerate the types of acts you mentioned with just any client, because it’s impossible to assume these women would enjoy ‘everything’ with just any client. Sadly, many women in this industry are in a desperate situation, where this is their only viable option of profiting. It is very sad indeed.

      However, in light of what you said, I want to note that it is not so much universal as it seems. The whole experience really depends on the context (in which setting it occurred), and the circumstances/attitude of both the client and the escort. I, myself, do a safe GFE, where a condom is used for everything. A lot of men want more than this (riskier services), and they also want cheaper rates. I simply ignore these type of clients, and instead I cater to a minority of clientele who are discerning themselves. I always specifically outline that I absolutely DO NOT do anything risky, so they know what to expect. Thankfully, I am in a position where I can reject bookings if prospective clients do not ‘dance to my tune.’ However, I am aware that many women are not in my position to be so discerning with their clients, which is very unfortunate. To give some hope: there are clients (though, a minority) who strictly prefer women who DO NOT do ‘everything.’ It’s best to try to cater to those type of clients, and often such men are willing to pay higher prices for ‘quality’ over ‘quantity.’

      It’s also very unfortunate how ladies ‘services’ are constructed and degraded in reviews. I have a long awaited post dedicated to the topic of reviews, which this phenomena, alone, is very dehumanizing. Reviews certainly appeal to a ‘type’ of man, but anyone with an inking of intellect and humanity knows they are invalid depictions.

      • “Hobbyists” — as you ladies dismissively call us — wouldn’t need reviews if all escorts advertised and delivered their services in a professional and consistent way, but since the reality is that too many escorts lie about their age (sometimes by decades), advertise with heavily airbrushed and/or old photos, overpromise and underdeliver, disregard clients in subtle or blatant ways, etc., at least we clients have reviews to tell us what we could expect.
        As a client, my take is that my money is as good as anyone else’s money, and provided that I am squeaky clean, respectful and gentle, there is no reason for me to be shortchanged when it comes to services. Yet it has happened. If reviews weren’t there then I wouldn’t have known, but thankfully they were. My understanding is that since I was respectful and gentle, those escorts thought that they could get away with it. To add insult to the injury, one escort who shortchanged me and then backtracked when I reprimanded her, even remarked that she appreciated clients like me in contrast with clients “without conscience” (her words).
        Anyway, my experience is that reviews are marginal to an escort’s business, hence there is no reason to give them more significance than the small one they have.
        Regarding the quantity and safety of services you can offer and still make good money, I am sorry to be blunt but my understanding is that the better you look, the less services you can offer and still have plenty of clients.

      • escortdiary

        @Konoron:

        Not all clients consider themselves hobbyists or are inclined to write reviews on escorts.

        As I noted before, you really seem to have a sense of entitlement, which is sad. Then again, I am not surprised, since the experiences of prostitutes are silenced, ignored. I can totally understand why you’ll find review boards appealing, since you’ll be able to mingle with men who share the same mentality as yourself. For me, I am not really keen with this “us again them” mentality. Even some escorts view clients in the same way, as a species. I, however, do not — there are good and bad in both escort/clients.

        You wrote: “There is no reason for me to be shortchanged when it comes to services.” I find it so sad that you believe paying for sex justifies your entitlement over another persons body. But again, I am not surprised given you think the sex industry can be rationalized like any other profession. Again, it is not comparable. The most mind-boggling thing I’ve observed from review boards is when clients says they detest “mechanical” sex — yet they don’t realize that demanding standards of “service” is what MAKES sex mechanical. When people reduce sex to mere physical-acts, they are limiting their chances of having a true intimate experience. To be quite honest, I avoid clients who are active participants on review boards. I cannot imagine any of my regular clients wanting to degrade me by writing about the most intimate details of our experience, and thereby welcoming other men to “try for themselves.” If my experiences with a client was very engaging and romantic, it DOES not mean I will behave the same with other men (unless I standardize and ACT, which thus makes me mechanical).

      • lurker

        I have been saved, in my opinion, more than once, from an otherwise, dreadful or dangerous encounter with an escort because of the review system. Many escorts who advertise, do so, in deceptive ways, alluring to safety (not using their pictures) and are intentionally bogus (plausible deniability e.g. refuse to discuss services over the phone or email) so that when the client finally appears and leaves the donation, she can take it and refuse a particular service (no kissing, no touching breast, no touching genitals, no bbj). It almost looks like some escorts expect that just because they are beautiful, the client has to pay for the view, droll over her, perhaps masturbate as if to an adult magazine, and then leave happy just because he was in the presence of this self appointed goddess, really? Some escorts do seem to believe men who use their services are extraordinarily stupid. So, yes, I am grateful for the review system, as if an escort has poor reviews or none, no matter what the promises on the ad, how attractive the stolen pictures on the ad look like, I just do not call that one. Not surprisingly enough, several times, after me declining to call one, I have seen comments on how this escort was fake, even a rob, etc., and then I say ‘wow!’ saved by a peer.
        On the other hand, it is an absolute strike of good luck when a client finds an escort who delivers what she advertizes, and if one becomes a regular, and if there is chemistry between them, the level of intimacy and trust is increased leading to a much more fulfilling Girlfriend Experience.

    • You’re right, but I wouldn’t even call these things ‘safe GFE’ — I’d call them not wanting to be made extremely uncomfortable while at your job. One can be okay with doing some unprotected things (I understand that you may not be, which is its own valid form of GFE) while not allowing the “stripper slide” or ejaculation in the mouth, and not wanting to let some guy shove his tongue down your throat or finger you roughly is just a matter of not allowing clients to do things that no human being can reasonably handle. Isn’t there a segment of the male population that likes to have real sex instead of doing all these juvenile things and poking at your body mechanically? I’m surprised to see that guys who like actual sex are in the minority and, possibly, approaching nonexistent.

      • escortdiary

        Thank you for commenting

        You mention how many men are, basically, bad at sex. I understand this and it is true in many cases. This stems from many things, such as mainstream pornography giving false depictions of pleasure and sexuality. It also doesn’t help that many women have no interest in making sex more fruitful for themselves and their partner.

        My experiences differ. I get clients who want romance and love-making — they refrain from ‘degrading’ sex. Maybe perhaps because I am discerning more with whom I see and I am very upfront about my restrictions. Also, it really depends on the girl, her attitude, her city, the type of clients who she’s appealing too, etc — many factors determine what sort of experiences occur between prostitute and client. I will be uploading a post related to this
        Kind Regards,
        ExoticEscortDiary.com

      • Yes, that’s true. (Did you not want me to reply to your comment? I figure it’s just an error that the reply button isn’t showing). I definitely believe that having the ability to be discerning and upfront about restrictions makes a difference in how you feel about the way clients act in bed (I’ve only ever worked for agencies so have had less freedom to do that). You’re also correct about the other things that can influence the interaction.

        But I have to wonder — and I really am asking about your experience because I do not know, but would like to know — exactly what you mean by “romance and love-making” (and, by contrast, “‘degrading’ sex.”) There are some clients who insist on “romance” and “love-making” but in practice it turns into the types of actions I’ve described above. There are some things that could be described as degrading, but are not difficult or painful as the actions mentioned above, such as ejaculating on (non-orifice) parts of your body. I guess what I’m asking is, is it that you don’t feel most clients are bad in bed because you only see people you genuinely like (and therefore limit the amount of work you can have, in addition to taking a risk on the first meeting), or is it that you’ve set limitations so that there are only one or two really unpleasant things you’ll do and then it’s bearable, or is it that the discerning and the limitations have succeeded in bringing you clients who would never do the above-mentioned stuff in the first place (and so are okay regardless of whether you genuinely like them), or is it something else?

        I think the explanation that you’ve weeded out people who would be unpleasant makes the most sense as an explanation for what you’re saying (and of course you will confirm in your response), and yet makes the least sense in terms of the availability of those types of clients. Which I guess brings us back to the original point. I just can’t imagine that one can run a business and only meet men who do not do the above things and other similar unpleasant or inappropriate things, when probably 80% of the people I saw with agencies were like that, and I worked in major cities under a price range that was probably not accessible to many people who weren’t professional, clean-cut and polite in their outside lives.

        Thanks for any answer you can give me…I’ve been wondering about this for a while.

      • escortdiary

        I am not sure why it didn’t allow you to reply directly to my comment! Sorry about that. I am not sure about the technical parts of wordpress blogs.

        The reason I put ‘degrading’ in quotations is to emphasize that it’s very subjective. What is degrading for one isn’t necessarily degrading for another, and it also depends on the context, the particular client, etc. For instance, you mentioned ‘cumming on parts of the body.’ For me, I have occassionally done this with clients I really enjoyed, and I was the one who requested it. Is it degrading then if I wanted it? No. If the scenario was switched where a client asked to ‘cum on my body’ and I didn’t want it, I’d just say no.

        By ‘romance and love-making,’ I meant that certain clients are really considerate to my what makes me comfortable. In other words, they will ask before they do something, because they want to be sure it’s enjoyable also for me (of course, do I really enjoy it? That really depends on the client. Most romantic acts, such as cuddling, mild kissing, having them kiss my body, etc doesn’t bother me, so I allow it). I will write this in an upcoming post, but I think my attitude makes clients detect my assertiveness (in a pleasant way).

        I do limit the type of men I see (as an independent courtesan), which is why I can pick and choose who I think will be a decent person (hopefully). But it doesn’t mean they are all novices in sex. I think you misunderstood me, because I didn’t imply that all my clients are good at sex. Indeed, some are ‘bad’ at sex for my taste, but the overall experience can still be good (it depends how they treated me). I try my best to avoid seeing clients who may be potentially ‘demanding,’ which is why I’m in control of the sexual experience with clients. Indeed, in the past (at brothel establishments), I have been in situations where clients have requested acts that I did not want, and I simply said, “No.”

        It is an unfortunate reality, however, that there are certain clients (not all) who prey on women who are not assertive. They do things to her in manipulative ways, because they know she won’t stand up for herself. I have met many escorts who worked at the same place as me, yet their experiences with clients was the exact opposite. What can explain it? It’s how the lady conducts herself, her assertiveness. Hope that makes sense.

  8. leslie

    Hi sweety hey I’m an escort also kinda new after 1 yr but how can I be sure if the guy is not a cop or under cover cop….. I’m from Tx. And I only do just out calls only.

  9. Jane

    Hi. I have read that in your initial interview with a client you ask them for bits of information for example their age, nationality, and what their intentions are for you, is there anything else that I should find out from the client before agreeing to see them? Once you screen their email or telephone interview do you also do a secondary screening in person before your first encounter?

  10. Jane

    Hi. When you agree to see a client for the first time, how do you ensure your safety? Do you let someone you trust know where you are, who you are and how long you are going to be so that if something doesn’t go as planned you have a backup or do you simply take some sort of protection with you? Have you ever needed protection before?

    • escortdiary

      It’s a good idea to let someone you trust to check on you. You could also elect to live in a place that has it’s own security guards, which gives a sense of protection. If you are doing out-calls, only do so at high-end reputable hotels with their own security. I am extremely discerning with my clients, so I am also basing a lot of my security on my own sense of judgement. I have only had one scary incident at hotel overseas, where I saw a client who was extremely drunk and persistant. Thankfully, I called the hotel reception and they helped me. I wrote about it here: https://exoticescortdiary.com/2012/05/22/women-in-the-sex-industry-are-vulnerable/
      In all other cases, thankfully, my clients have been respectful and good.

  11. MsM

    This was a very interesting read. I praise you for your honesty.

  12. Max

    Dear Ma’am,

    Your post has been very informative. Glad to have found this site.
    Just to share you an experience of mine with escorts before i ask the questions. I had two encounters with escorts previously. My very first encounter, was an unattractive woman but had good skills and high GFE, and her price was below average (practiced safe sex). Therefore, i had this wrong idea of how things are done by escorts so i opt for a more expensive escorts to seek better sexual satisfaction. There comes encounter no.2, very attractive (model like) , with sexy lingerie , always teasing during the iniital conversation…i felt very comfortable with her during the session until a point where i went for a kiss, and she politely avoided…that really turn me off, when i asked why, she said she dont do kissings, and i was not informed about it – in the end, the sex was good but the satisfaction was not there as my very first encounter, like u said, men wants more of that GFE.
    Reading through your blog made me realize how things are actually done.

    Now for my third encounter, i’ve discussed with the escort my expectations and she accepted. I was not demanding her but asked for her opinion if she was comfortable with my expectations. Im planning of giving her a small token, (probably a small flower bouquet) upon meet and her payment in an envelop (to show the respect i have for her). Im not sure what im doing is the rite approach to meet an escort , would like to have your thoughts on this please.

  13. hot introvert

    A very interesting piece I must say, really glad to have stumbled upon it as it has been veey informative.
    I started visiting escorts in the 3rd quarter of 2012 and have seen no more that 15 different girls. I am of the clientele class which u described as ‘lonely with less interaction with women and looking for love in the wrong place’.
    The aftermath of my visit is always a feeling of guilt and depression and have tried to desist from th act but to no avail.
    Are there suggestions and advice which u can share as to how to stop visiting escorts?
    Thankyou

  14. Layla Matthews

    Hi, I just wanted to say how much I am enjoying your writing. I never escorted myself but worked as a manager in a small start-up agency before starting my own agency 3 years ago. I have a really good relationship with all the ladies that work for me and reading your Q+As has helped me not only understand the clients better but also the ladies and how they must be feeling. Hope to read more about your beautiful work. Thanks Layla

    • escortdiary

      Thank you so kindly. I’m really glad you connect with the ladies. You are a gem, as often there is a rift between sex workers and their managers.

  15. You wrote:
    > Many girls complain about clients who don’t follow our ‘rules’ (or limits), such as touching places without permission.
    What?! Aren’t clients even allowed to touch her? Then how are they supposed to have sex together?
    If by “touching places” you mean: playing with her clitoris, “fingering” her and similar “intrusive” practices, then I agree, but if I had to ask permission to put my hand there to feel her warmth or gently caress her genital area, then it would feel it very restrictive.

    • escortdiary

      @konoron

      Paying a prostitute obviously means you can touch her, yet it doesn’t mean you can violate her. A respectful man is aware that she is a human being with feelings, so he will be respectful of her level of comfort. Real intimacy is about establishing trust. A client does NOT necessarily need to verbally say, “Can I touch you here?” There are other indirect forms of giving permission, such as watching her reactions to your touch, vice versa. If a woman body was responding with enjoyment, then it indicates it’s okay to proceed further with respect for her comfort.

      Good clients are men who are respectful. They are not demanding. And their respect actually works to their benefit, because an escort is more likely to be warm and explorational with a client who shows his respect. On the contrary, if a client starts off demanding and pushy, it will turn her off and make her guarded. It’s quite sad some clients do not understand that true intimacy is something beyond just sex-acts. It’s also sad when some clients blame escorts for not being passionate enough, which completely ignores the realities of WHY women are doing this work in the first place.

      I feel the best experiences are for both escorts and clients who are realistic about intimacy — how it’s something that really depends on the mood, the context, the chemistry between two people, etc.

      • You wrote “It’s also sad when some clients blame escorts for not being passionate enough, which completely ignores the realities of WHY women are doing this work in the first place.” Likewise, it could be said that escorts completely ignore the realities of WHY clients are hiring them in the first place. That is, if those men were such incredible lovers, they would have lustful women queuing at their door instead of having to pay, wouldn’t they? It seems that great escorts are able to make lousy lovers feel great.

        You wrote “Good clients are men who are respectful. They are not demanding. And their respect actually works to their benefit, because an escort is more likely to be warm and explorational with a client who shows his respect.” My experience shows otherwise. As a client who always tries to keep any escort comfortable — and I succeed, if I am to believe to what some escorts have told me — it seems to me that most escorts take it as a hint that I am easily contented, and stick to vanilla performances, whilst pushy clients get more. At first I was embittered by this, but then I realized that this is the way I am, and I am not going to change even if doing so would buy me more.

      • escortdiary

        @konoron


        “Likewise, it could be said that escorts completely ignore the realities of WHY clients are hiring them in the first place. That is, if those men were such incredible lovers, they would have lustful women queuing at their door instead of having to pay, wouldn’t they? It seems that great escorts are able to make lousy lovers feel great.”

        Indeed, it is very important to understand the client’s perspective too. If you had read my blog, you would see that I have a very keen interest in understanding the diverse reasons for men seeking sex workers. I write about this extensively, but have not posted those writings. With my own clients, I try to understand each one of my client’s circumstances. The gendered norms of modern society effect everyone, not just men or women.


        “My experience shows otherwise. As a client who always tries to keep any escort comfortable — and I succeed, if I am to believe to what some escorts have told me — it seems to me that most escorts take it as a hint that I am easily contented, and stick to vanilla performances, whilst pushy clients get more. At first I was embittered by this, but then I realized that this is the way I am, and I am not going to change even if doing so would buy me more.”

        I’m sorry to hear that your experiences have not been fruitful. But from all that you wrote, you do not seem to be an easy-going client. It seems you have a sense of ‘entitlement’ underneath the facade of appearing to show genuine concern for her well-being. On the other hand, good-hearted clients are realistic about the money their going to spend on the experience: they know seeing an escort a gamble (meaning: (1) there’s a probability REAL intimacy will not be established given the reality that most escorts are not doing this solely for pleasure and (2) that INTIMACY, also, relies on how the client is perceived by the escort, and (3) they EMPATHIZE with harsh realities escorts face in society (stigma). The probability of establishing true intimacy, in any context, is RARE between two people — this is why love is alluring and mysterious.

        Be aware that escort reviews are heavily exaggerated, with some men competing to show off their so-called ‘success’ with escorts. I don’t think wise and respectful clients would want to expose the beauty of TRUE intimacy on a review board. In reality, men who boast of their successes with escorts aren’t any Casanovas — they are equally limited by the same realities of establishing true intimacy. I personally find reviews dehumanizing, because a shallow depiction of a sexual encounter completely ignores the context.

      • You wrote: “But from all that you wrote, you do not seem to be an easy-going client. It seems you have a sense of ‘entitlement’ underneath the facade of appearing to show genuine concern for her well-being.”

        And I have never said that I consider myself an easy-going client. On the contrary, your description of an easy-going client made me visualize a client who will be happy with whatever an escort throws at him. The opposite of me. While I never demand anything, I always evaluate what I get. I have a sensitive heart and a discerning mind, so to speak. A weird combination, maybe, but that is who I am. This is the reason I can seem detached to you who are only reading my words.

        I do not have a sense of “entitlement”. I just expect an escort to make a reasonable effort since she is not being paid a negligible fee. Indeed, I specified that “most escorts” did the least they could, not “all escorts”. The remainder were agreeable ladies to be with, and a few made me shake on the bed. Unfortunately, the best ones were traveling escorts, so I couldn’t become a regular client of theirs.

        I adhere to your description of a wise client. More than that, actually, because I never expect real intimacy but somewhat of an illusion of it. Again, I only expect a honest effort from her.

        But you may have nailed the issue here:

        “Be aware that MANY escort reviews are heavily exaggerated, with some men competing to show off their so-called ‘success’ with escorts.”

        Indeed, I can’t compare my experience with other clients directly. I can only read their experiences. And from what I read, they are having more fun than me. But, as you said, it may be just what they wrote.

        By the way, I would rather name them “experiences” or “field reports” than “reviews”. Reviews are for products, not people, don’t you think?

      • escortdiary

        @konoron

        I advise you to learn not to expect, with true intention. Sounds cliche, but the best things really do happen when one least expects. Think “outside” the forum boards — wise clients are not active participants on boards, they know better. The best intimate experiences are NOT being told on forum boards — existing reviews are NOT portraying the real experience, but instead are telling more about the person who wrote it (a disenchanted client seeking to stroke his ego, who writes reviews in hopes of finding commonality with other disenchanted). Now, I do not mean to demonize these men, because it’s important to understand what would cause a man to view escorts in such a way (I will surely write a post about this in the future).

        When I see clients, I hope for the best, but I am also prepared that I might potentially be disappointed. Being realistic actually makes my experiences positive, because I’ve prepared myself for whatever results. Even one of my regular clients said this himself — he had unpleasant experiences before, but he knew that intimacy is not so easy to establish (especially in the sex industry setting). And voila, he met me and we ended up having good chemistry.

        You have to realize that many escorts, themselves, have been cheated and violated by undesirable clients. A bad experience might make them guarded, hardened. Rather than complain about your dissatisfaction of an experience, you need to understand why some sex workers are hardened, or reluctant. It’s far too easy to simply say, “Then she shouldn’t be doing this work.” Again, most escorts are not actively choosing this work. I am so thankful that there are lovely clients who genuinely show concern for a prostitutes well-being, rather than see her just as an object for their own gratification.

        On rare occasions, I, myself, have met disenchanted clients who clearly resent escorts, likely because they’ve had bad experiences — yet I try to understand their circumstances and show them otherwise.

        Anyway, thank you for your engagement on my blog
        Sahar x

      • You wrote:

        “I advise you to learn not to expect, with true intention. Sounds cliche, but the best things really do happen when one least expects. […] When I see clients, I hope for the best, but I am also prepared that I might potentially be disappointed.”

        I will follow your suggestions and see where they lead. Thank you.

        You wrote:

        “You have to realize that escorts, themselves, have been cheated and violate by clients themselves. Rather than complain about your dissatisfaction of an experience with an escort, you need to understand why some women are hardened, or reluctant.”

        Right, I should think of the other person, too. In a sense, I realize that since I consider escorts to be savvy ladies who have seen more things than me in this arena, I may have overestimated their ability to create the perfect experience.
        You wrote: “Anyway, thank you for your engagement on my blog.”
        No need to thank me, Sahar: I have engaged myself on your blog because I found it interesting 😉
        I am waiting for your article on field reports and websites that foster them.

  16. I am replying here because there is no “Reply” button.

    You wrote:

    “Then again, I am not surprised, since the experiences of prostitutes are silenced, ignored. I can totally understand why you’ll find review boards appealing, since you’ll be able to mingle with men who share the same mentality as yourself. For me, I am not really keen with this “us again them” mentality.”

    Neither I am. Indeed, I was banned from a review board because of this. Hence, no, you really don’t understand why I find review boards appealing. I have explained the reason in detail, but apparently you have missed my explanation.

    You wrote “I find it so sad that you believe paying for sex justifies your entitlement over another persons body.”

    I never feel entitled over another person’s body but if an escort, for no apparent reason, treats me worse than what seems her standard then I feel disappointed. Should I feel otherwise?

    It seems like you think that a paying client should consider himself lucky that an escort deigned to receive him, and should be grateful for whatever happens. Sure, this thought can be great for your self-esteem, but I beg to differ. Yes, when I am paying such high fees, I do expect some PROFESSIONALISM.

    You wrote “But again, I am not surprised given you think the sex industry can be rationalized like any other profession. Again, it is not comparable.”

    How many different professions have you practiced to be so sure that the sex industry is special? As I have already said, it is not about the profession, it is about how the individual takes his or hers profession.

    You wrote: “I cannot imagine any of my regular clients wanting to degrade me by writing about the most intimate details of our experience, and thereby welcoming other men to “try for themselves.”

    I have never written an experience like that, not even at my worse. I only make it known that the lady is legitimate and comment on how it felt like being with her.

    By the way, how many times have you been with an escort? Never. This is why you can’t understand that when booking an appointment with an escort, experiencing intimacy is not even my last worry. I don’t experience such worry at all! My doubts are:

    – is she legitimate, or a scammer?

    – are her pictures real?

    – will she cut our time short for no reason?

    – and so on.

    Maybe that is because I don’t book appointments with high-class escorts. Actually, I did it once, but — alas! — there was no difference. My understanding was that the only difference were rates, hence I am not doing it again.

    Anyway, your considerations in this and former replies about the dynamics of a meeting has been food for thought. Thank you for sharing your view.

  17. Babybelle

    No matter where you come from or how “unholy” of a path you’ve walked it is and always will be yours. Each to their own.

  18. Mr. Konoron it’s men like you that make our job as escorts defiling. You question every move, want more than you pay for, the list goes on and on. Please listen more than you speak…

  19. Dear Sahar, I am still waiting for your article on “reviews websites” 🙂 Kind Regards.

  20. Anon

    I have been with several escorts (Probably about 20). Usually give them a massage and then have sex. All of the girls say they really like the massage I give. My main reason for going to see escorts is that I was already 27 and still a virgin, and I wanted to get good at sex (which I deluded myself into believing this was possible).
    But anyway, my point is the man is stupid in going to the escort in the first place. How the heck would you know if the escort is telling you the truth or not? She will just say something is good in order to try and make you feel better (I would prefer a girl tell me something is not good rather than lie to me).
    Also, you never can fully immerse yourself no matter how intimate you get with the woman. At the back of your mind, no matter how much you ignore it, is that the woman is a sex worker, and you have spent quite a deal of money on her.
    No matter how much the ‘good men’ try to convince themselves that they are helping the girl by being a really good lover, you have to realise that by paying this girl, you are reinforcing her desire to stay there (if there was less and less money paid to the girl, then she would be more likely to quit).
    So for guys, if you are considering visiting a sex worker, don’t. NEVER start visiting. If the girl truly loved what you did to her, she would not ask you for money. Simple as that. If you are worried about your performance in bed, Escorts are NOT the answer – simply put, escorts will just tell you what they need to to make you feel happy, not the truth. This, psychologically is the most damaging IMO for the sexual experience in the guy. Highly unlikely that she will orgasm with you either. She may like you, but in the back of her head is the shame that she is an escort – preventing her from being fully in the moment. The escort will never fully attach herself to you – because she can’t, otherwise she will be more broken.
    Girls, don’t do sex work. I don’t care how shitty a job you have to get – reality is, MOST PEOPLE start with shitty jobs. Guys feel bad about themselves having to pay you (even though they might say they enjoy being with you), and you are not helping them with their issues by providing the service. You are encouraging them to spend money on a service which is damaging to them. You cannot ever feel totally proud of yourself if you are consistently hiding something from others.
    Both escorts and the people who hire them need to really look at themselves and give themselves a reality check. Stop deluding yourself that “I’ll only do this for a little bit longer, then I will quit”. The longer you continue with a behaviour, the harder the behaviour is to break. Simple brain science.
    It will be hell trying to lift yourselves up from escort duties or going to see escorts, but the quicker you lift yourself out of it, the more quality of life you are going to see.

  21. Andrew

    All I can say is ANON’s excellent Comment is true, apart from being over harsh on Escorts, it’ll be uncomfortable reading for many Clients very difficult in fact, especially those lines ‘Stop deluding yourself that “I’ll only do this for a little bit longer, then I will quit” and ‘If the girl truly loved what you did to her, she would not ask you for money’.

    However as for the line ‘if you are considering visiting a sex worker, don’t. NEVER start visiting’ then I agree single men should probably NEVER start (me), but as for the happily married man? GO visit an Escort have great sex leave for a cuddle with the wife and buy her a present to re leave the guilt! The more experienced I get in this murky world (and I am) the more I firmly believe Escorting is for the married man to enjoy only and I’d go as far to say Escort sex should be tolerated by the wife, even encouraged, a man will divorce her for a mistress and the variety will do him good, stop him going off with that nineteen year old Secretary.

    As for single men with no woman in their lives then I agree best NEVER to start Escorting, she will be fantastic but not good for his emotional well being, in fact single men should be more honest with themselves, if they see a sex worker for love cuddles and affection then they’re looking for love in the wrong place however nice she is, AND certainly be careful seeing the same Escort over and over again, the most they can hope for is a very good friendship however I guarantee Clients become dependent on Escort’s wonderful intimacy. BUT don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming the Escort, it’s NOT her fault she’s so nice, perhaps keeping a distance not returning affection is her coping mechanism or the simple fact she’s Escorting for money only, whichever the reason a single man wants more therefore Escorting is bad for him NEVER start.

    How ever right ANON is about Clients I think he’s harsh on Escorts, especially the line ‘by paying this girl, you are reinforcing her desire to stay there (if there was less and less money paid to the girl, then she would be more likely to quit)’, I have never spoken for an Escort and am not going to start now but here’s an opinion, he makes the assumption that the Escort is a victim and desperately wants to get out of Escorting. YES paying her for sex likely means she’ll remain an Escort but just maybe she enjoys with the lifestyle wealth brings and as one Escort I’ve read said ‘she was happy to put a price on her openings’, whatever I don’t think it’s the business of Clients. After all she’s a grown woman over the age of eighteen able to choose her own career path in life and I can tell you from experience, the Escorts I’ve known seemed (TO ME ANYWAY) and believed (TO ME ANYWAY) perfectly well balanced fun laughing and happy in their own skins, none seemed particularly bothered sucking cock or laying with their legs apart while I kept myself busy I saw no victims. I was polite and respectful we had fun parted on good terms, I’ll admit yes I missed them afterwards but no doubt I was instant history to them and never forget they left considerably richer, if I’m a naive man then I hold my hands up guilty.

  22. I have such respect for people in your profession. Clients looking for rewarding intimacy, but find they lack the social skills to obtain it ‘freely’ are probably, sub consciously at least, devastated when facing the reality that, in their mind, EVEN when PAYING someone they can’t obtain the deep connection they so desperately seek.
    Your blog raises a very good point: courtesans rely on multiple clients to make a living. Establishing deep emotional connections with ONE person is difficult enough. Expecting a sex worker to do so, with any number of her clients, is ludicrous in light of it all. Not only that, but a sex worker already has to compartmentalize that aspect of her life and keep it wholly separate from her private life.
    I think just going into an appointment with respect for the sex worker, and the understanding that she is giving you the most intimate part of her body already, establishes the foundation for trust and a good experience for both parties involved. The client has sex, the courtesan gets her money, and you both have a good time doing it.

  23. Why do you escorts disallow us to kiss you when you know some of our sexual feeling generate by a kiss?

    • Nils

      Some Escorts find it to be to personal with a kiss. I guess there might be as many reasons as there are Escorts though.
      I like this blog. So thank you so much Escort diary.

      Best regards, yours sincerely

  24. Sara

    My now ex fiance is addicted to an escort reason why we broke up. He is 52 I’m 43. I’m a hot sexy latina, always dressed up and makeup like a Diva, sex always full of variety, fantasies and kink. His midlife crisis kicked up middle of last year. He moved to San Francisco on Sept without telling me then asked me for space, I gave him a month and got worried when he didn’t come out of his man cave. Nov was my birthday/engagement anniversary he didn’t allow me to visit him, not Christmas together either. Jan 30 he visited me and promised we work things out. Next day went to Las Vegas to visit her and gave her an engagement ring worth thousands of dollars while mine not at all. He never showed up to the couples therapy, no valentines, mother;s day together for us, end of May he broke up with me. 5 days later told me he was going on a trip to Canada to visit his parents. 3 weeks later I found out on Instagram an escort wearing a shirt of his company and tagged the company. I went through her entire Instagram account and found out she has been with him since October and my birthday and all mentioned dates they were together. He didn’t visit his parents he took her to an expensive vacation to Mexico. He is spending his entire salary on her on monthly basis and spend the rest of the months without a penny. I canceled the wedding and is braking my heart how he has abandoned his company that took so hard to build, the relationship with his sons from prior marriage also gone. He thinks in nothing but her and get upset when I refer to her as the hooker. Now he is starting a business for her to clean her history and yet he still insisting he is not having sex with her. I find hard t believe he spends 4 days in a suite in Las Vegas spending $4,000 in a weekend and not having sex with her. Then spending the rest of the month completely broke. He has suffered skin cancer 4 times and I was the only one by his side. He has to take extreme care of his skin, now since he met her its all about the beach and pool. Why would he jeopardize his life, career, relationship, absolutely everything for a woman that is just doing her job: sex for money and nothing else. She is pretending she is moving forward with the makeup company he registered for her but let’;s be real, that won’t pay what she earns as an escort in Las Vegas, she still working as an escort and he said he doesn’t care. He had to relocate back from San Francisco, spent a night with me then with some friends because he cannot afford not even a cheap hotel as he spent all of his money with her 2 weeks ago on her birthday. Every months since last November he spends his entire salary on her. I can’t believe how a man’s lust can grow so out of proportion during midlife crisis that all values are gone down the toilet along with our relationship. I spend 14 years of my life supporting him in all of his obstacle and now few months before our wedding all dreams are gone thanks to his obsession with an escort!

  25. Brie

    Really enjoyed the information you shared as it was also refreshingly enlightening:) I find I do Not “fit” into any particular category re “Entertainer”, and have been Entertaining clients off/on for years. I started off, many years ago, in a very “Conservative” career path after getting my Bachelor’s degree. I do believe I am an Empath, and I limit my Entertaining, as it can be emotionally exhausting, at times. I usually only see Married clients because I enjoy the company of men that carry themselves w respect & integrity & treat me w respect. Thanks again. I loved your observations and keen instincts:)

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