Prostitute and Whore — 2 Terms, 2 Different Meanings

I have a problem with the terms associated with a prostitute: Bitch and whore. Sure, some prostitutes possess those qualities, but so can any woman. Essentially, a prostitute and whore are two different things, but are often confused as the same thing, with the same meaning. The terms are further problematic since they are so vague, and can be interpreted differently.

In a global modern context, a woman who sleeps around with men is known in derogatory terms as a ‘bitch’ or ‘whore.’ A whore can be further subdivided into various interpretations and meanings. It can apply to a woman who manipulates men into giving her money – perhaps also termed a ‘gold digger.’ It can also be used to refer to a woman who enjoys sex. It can also imply a woman who lies and cheats her lovers/friends by scamming them. The term ‘bitch’ can also be applied to women with such traits. Somehow, these terms are also attributed to a prostitute. But there is a BIG difference between a whore and a prostitute. Although some prostitutes act like whores, one should not mistake all women who sell their bodies for being promiscuous, manipulative or scandalous.

It’s not obvious: Most prostitutes have sex for money – not pleasure or fun.  Many of us are not gold-diggers, nor do we manipulate men into taking their money. If a prostitute was to engage in sex for fun and manipulate men into giving her money (like a sugar daddie), then she placed herself in another category: a whore. There are prostitutes who act like ‘bitches’ and ‘whores’ despite selling themselves for money. They may act as gold-diggers on the side, and try to pretend to love older rich men for their money, but those traits cannot apply to the general population of prostitutes. If you assume a prostitute is selling herself for pleasure, then you are ignoring that reality that most women are selling themselves for the sole purpose of survival.

A whore, in terms of enjoying sex, is something I don’t condemn, so long its safe and doesn’t hurt others. But the notion of manipulation and deceiving others are acts I don’t accept. I do not manipulate or deceive my lovers in the other interpretations of ‘whore.’ I make my intentions clear. My clients who give me money are fully aware, just as I am, that it’s an exchange only. And the men I love…? They are aware of my intentions: I do not use them.

In my view, despite the view of society, a prostitute is much more dignified than a gold digger. A gold digger searches around for rich wealthy men, promising them love and affection, hoping to get hands on their wealth in an indirect manner. However, one must not judge even a gold digger — a lot of these girls start this type of lifestyle from a history of neglect.

A prostitute, on the other hand, is direct, straight-forward: I will give you my body in exchange for money.

I have never pretended to love any man for his money, and I never will. As mentioned, I often stop seeing clients when they fall in love with me, because it makes me uncomfortable taking their money when they love me and I don’t love them at all. One incident overseas made me more strict about my ‘strictly business’ relationship with clients, but I will save that experience for another post. Finally, it may seem that my lovers serves as my ‘sugar-daddies’, but thats not the case at all. My lovers do spoil me, but it’s reciprocal as I enjoy their company and enjoy them as a person. Reciprocity is very important for loving, meaningful relationships.

A woman once advised me, regarding my relationship with my client/lover: “Use him for his money. He’s going to leave you, so take all his money. Don’t be stupid…try to take money from him at every chance!” I disregarded her advice, because I feel grateful and content for his generosity already. I don’t seek to exploit him. This is the critical difference between that woman’s mentality and mine: I will not lower my dignity to exploit someone I love, or anyone for the record. I am comfortable with the amount he gives me, and if I seek more…..I know he will give it to me. However, I would not beg or manipulate him to get it. My pride is held in my self-reliance.

The problem with assuming that these terms are the same is when we judge others. Not all women who love sex are prostitutes. Not all prostitutes are promiscuous. And not all scandalous, manipulative women are prostitutes. And most importantly, a woman who loves sex is not necessarily a bad person. Modern ideas of sexuality are socially constructed, and a lot of the ‘prudish’ ideas stem from Victorian Era repressive morality.

Although not my usual type of music, the rap song, “You Wonder Why They Call you Bitch,” by Tupac gives an excellent, although heavily slanged, description of a promiscuous woman, with no self-respect, who sells and ends up destroying herself with her scandalous behaviour.

11 Comments

Filed under "High-class" prostitution, Facts About the Sex Industry, The Escorting Business

11 responses to “Prostitute and Whore — 2 Terms, 2 Different Meanings

  1. Helarisi Wijekoon

    That’s an interesting distinction you make between the two words. IMO ‘bitch’ and ‘whore’ are handy weapons in the arsenal of the misogynist to bring condemnation down on a woman when the opportunity presents itself.

    ~Sanjay

  2. Ivan

    I personally hate those terms, and the sad part is that women are the ones who use them more often, i HATE when women call themselves bitches, HATE IT.

    • escortdiary

      Indeed…that’s why we cannot place blame upon men….it is often women who objectify/degrade themselves

  3. Rob

    A number of us are putting together a good sex magazine. I wondered whether you might consider becoming a regular contributor?

  4. Ayesha.Lovely

    Interesting take on the words. I have to disagree though that a gold digger has less dignity than that of a prostitute. Well to start, A prostitute sometimes can lower herself, tarnish her reputations, and sacrifice her dignity and security just for money. Whereas a gold digger only pursues men that will uplift her lifestyle, increase her reputation, and secure her future; even if temporary. See all of these terms, particularly Gold Digger where created by men to keep a woman expecting much from a man. It kept a woman from using her true innate power she possesses over men. It was created to make a woman feel inferior as if something is wrong with her for having a standard in which she will only date, sleep with, or marry rich men. This is that woman standard and there is nothing wrong with that. Just like men have standards in which they may not date an overweight girl, or a girl from a certain background, etc. The words bitch, whore, gold digger, i will admit, all get used interchangeably, but if we’re talking root origins here, they all mean something different. And when used in normal everyday conversation amongst men and women, they’re meanings are understood. A whore is usually seen as a loose woman, a woman who sleeps with men for money or a woman who just sleeps around. But a gold digger can be a businesswoman, who just prefers to date a man on her level. She could also be a woman who has a taste for luxury in life and wants a man that will provide those things for her. Either way, most of these terms were created by men, and are used by both sexes. Yes, women do use the words, but we have to look at how we use it. Typically when a man uses it nowadays, its meant to hurt, its meant to sting, its meant to be mean. A woman may say “hey Bitch” and it is meant in a positive or endearing way. Not to say that either way is naturally a good thing. But i think either way a whore is a whore, it isnt really interchanged, unless a girl is just hating or referring to a woman that may be slutty. Thanks for reading

  5. adiscorner

    i am a student myself and i really like that u make your articles more conceptual and give them an academic approach. Our society stigmatize sex workers and are quiet judgmental towards them and try to hide the fact that may be this industry has arised due to basic human instinct. maybe its social or plain natural. Even though i have a very conservative upbringing where a womens vagina is seen as a divine material which she should protect more then her life AND a premartial sex is worst then a poison because of judgmental society and its stigma which doctrinates an ideal untouched female as pious as a celestial being but roles are changing and society is slowly in the transition that realistic women are no harm but it will take time. you prove to me that whatever she does for her bread and butter she has no less grey matter from any being . i confess that i consider myself with good brains but i cannot deny the fact that u are truly intelligent and more then anything how much i love to tell u that . i do not wish to tell u my sob stories and bore u but i wish to be a friend of yours of course online without disclosing identities …pls accept it ?

    • escortdiary

      Thank you very much for commenting. It is very nice to see someone with an understanding view, especially from a conservative background.

  6. Not sure I can agree. ‘Whore’ is a very old term for prostitute. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/whore?s=t

    ‘Whoremonger’ (‘whore-dealer’) is a word for pimp or john going back to the 1500s.

    More recently, Lisa Archer described herself as a ‘middle-class whore’ in an essay about working in a Nevada brothel. http://www.goodvibes.com/m/content/title/sex_and_culture20020108+++-+Good++Vibrations/1224

  7. Emil

    In the past I have availed myself of the services of many prostitutes and the majority have provided excellent service in a caring manner .their contribution to society has never been acknowledged. One comment though, is why not fake orgasms? It makes your job so much easier and most men are not naive enough to believe that they are superman,I mean it’s hard enough to achieve in married life every time.My wife has finally learned this and I am under no illusions after 25 years.but in the moment it works wonders .

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