A “Cheap” Client or Lover

Every escort regardless of her status will encounter one of these specimens. A man who does not respect our time or our hourly rate. He will ask for discounts, because he is poor or he is too cheap to sacrifice his own incomes to a woman. We avoid these type of men. But we, as escorts, are human…, and sometimes, we get duped into believing lies, especially when these lies are so beautiful and promising. Unfortunately, I became lost in such an illusion…and wasted so much time hoping, wishing and believing that there was something. But in reality, I was just being kept on false promises, false hopes.

Prostitution is one of the oldest professions in the world, and there is an ancient manual about ‘love sports,’ with a particular chapter for courtesans. It’s infamously known as the Kama Sutra, and many of its’ prescriptions can still be applied today. Keep in mind, this was written 400 years before the existence of Christianity! The chapter discussing courtesans is very worthy. It instructs courtesans how to deal with their clients.  With regards to “cheap” men, the chapter, titled, “About Courtesans,” says when men stop giving gifts they need to be eliminated immediately. The ‘waning lover’ correlates to a deceitful man:

A woman should always know the state of the mind, of the feelings, and of the disposition of her lover towards her from the changes of his temper, his manner, and the colour of his face.
The behaviour of a waning lover is as follows:
-He gives the woman either less than is wanted, or something else than that which is asked for.
-He keeps her in hopes by promises. He pretends to do one thing, and does something else.
-He does not fulfil her desires.
-He forgets his promises, or does something else than that which he has promised.
-He speaks with his own servants in a mysterious way.
-He sleeps in some other house under the pretence of having to do something for a friend.
-Lastly, he speaks in private with the attendants of a woman with whom he was formerly acquainted.
 
(Source: http://www.sacred-texts.com/sex/kama/kama603.htm)

In my experience, my deceitful lover did most of these things: he gave me less money than I wanted, he kept me in ‘love’ with him by making promises, and essentially he failed to fulfil my desires. Never once did I gain anything without lowering my dignity first: I had to ask, I had to tell him how to treat me. I tried to justify ‘lowering’ myself for him….because the illusion of love kept me from seeing the reality. It was false love. Of course, such men never change. They will panic when they feel we are close to leaving them, and only at this time they will submit to our needs and desires. But no one should live in such a state. All I can do is blame myself for being so naive, because this was my first (and hopefully last) experience with a romantic liar.

My experiences of being impressed, pampered and loved endlessly by other men blinded me, because I kept hoping he, the waning lover, would one day impress me, pamper and show love. But he never did and he never will. The lies cause the hurt. If he had been realistic about our relationship (that it was purely sexual) then it would have been easy to dismiss him. A lesson learned. I just ask myself: how did I resort to him when I had a man who sacrificed his life for the sake of my love? So, as the Kama Sutra advises, “if he is poor and destitute, she should get rid of him as if she had never been acquainted with him in any way before.” In other words, ‘cheap’ men need to be discarded, as they are not worth our time.

*For my followers, FYI this post is not about the Sheik.

** Update (2016) : These ‘romantic liar’ men now have a name: FuckBoys 

18 Comments

Filed under The Escorting Business, Types of Clients

18 responses to “A “Cheap” Client or Lover

  1. M

    Hi there,
    I’m from an eastern background and live in the west aswel. I have been completely obsessed with your blog, read it all in two days and couldn’t put the iPad down during classes and work. I agree with pretty much all you say and I love the way you describe men and marriage. I obviously have not experienced what you have but I have my very own experiences that taught me that all men are very much liars and untrustworthy, recently I learned that men are not aware of the true feelings they carry, I found that most men will always assume their feelings and therefore lie about them rather then telling the truth and letting them develope as times goes.
    Would love to have a chat =)
    Looking forward to the next entry
    Love.

  2. Anonymous

    M is right, unfortunately, a huge percentage of men are liars and should not be trusted. Getting close to the third decade of my life, I am still not married because basically I am a freak when it comes to trust.

  3. Joe

    Men are confused about life and reality and are trying to figure it out as they go along. Some are essentially honest, some lack self-awareness, some are dishonest. Also, some truly care for their fellow human beings and some are incredibly self-centered, narcissistic bastards. Pretty much like women, only with their own style.

    Credibility is an important quality to look for. Look for the signs and indications of truth-telling vs. deceit or inaccuracy. These things are much easier to spot when you are not blinded by wanting something from the other person. When you really want something from another person, you start to pay attention your own wishes about that person rather than coolly observing them and seeing whether what they say and do matches reality. It is much easier to be fooled by someone else when you let yourself be fooled by what you want to be true. This is equally true for both men and women in relationships.

    • escortdiary

      I agree.. men are confused, as we all are….and we have clashes with people who are at different stages of thinking.

  4. Ivan

    Hi…. Deeply sorry to hear this but just to be clear this is “the sheik” you are talking about right?

    Look, uhmmm here is the thing… i can almost guarantee you that he felt attracted to you but NOT for the right reasons, i think he felt some things but at the same time he knows what you do for a living and well… Saudis are usually very harsh with women in general, YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND KIND WOMEN WITH BEAUTIFUL EMOTIONS but he cant see this, i think arabs don’t hate women but the fear is deep.
    He was trying to live a fantasy, a sexual fantasy with you… by making you feel in love he was reinforcing his confidence which makes me think he is insecure.

    Im not an expert with kama sutra (yeah that sound lame lol), but wasn’t this developed by the government?

    Lack of trust comes from childhood heartisbleeding……and from experiences too, but girls for the love of everything that is sacred don’t look for love in the wrong place.

    The sheik for example, a saudi who paid you to have sex with him? or your ex same thing…the relationship was doomed.
    Sweetie do yourself a favor, clean and heal your heart before getting into a relationship again.

    Im not perfect but i consider myself a good man, and if i knew what you did in your past but i know we are compatible i wouldn’t care what you did, and im not gonna judge you so… we exist :p… GO AHEAD AND FIND HIM, but again first you need to fight your demons and be ready.

    wish you the best gorgeous!

    • escortdiary

      No, it’s not the Sheik. He is honest with me and respects my financial and emotional needs, thankfully.

      Perhaps the human need for love and belonging causes some to be deceitful when those needs are in jeopardy.

      • ivan

        Ohhh! Ok that changes EVERYTHING… Hmmmmm,… ok.

        I have a couple comments but don’t have the time, still… a valid advice, stay away from men that pay you to have sex with them.

        Good Luck

  5. Lisa Valentine

    Excellent post.

  6. Dale

    And what if one of these supposedly “deceitful” men were to honestly and truly love you? A man who truly loved you might not want to continue on in the client-escort relationship if that is all there is. Is an escort truly capable of love? My concern, and potential answer to that question, is that once an escort, always an escort. An escort might fool herself into believing that she loves a client, which may or may not survive the litmus test of hard financial times. What if the man’s money later disappeared? Would the former escort still love him and want to be with him? My concern, is that the former escorts’ love for the man would disappear just like the money would. Because, as you have quoted in your picture, The truth hurts, but a lie is worse. To many escorts, love and money are the same.

    • escortdiary

      You raise some interesting questions. Money is not my objective when I am with a man I truly love and he truly loves me. However, if the man is using me, I will certainly use him. This post was regarding someone who had no intention to be serious with me.

      Of course an escort is capable of love, she is human. The problem is how she gives/consumes love. As humans, we all want love. Escorts need love, but often we deny it to ourselves. Many of us are severely addicted to money (including myself, even though I’m aware it’s harming me). We hurt ourselves by choosing money over love. By denying ourselves love, we go against the human need for belonging (love).

  7. Mike

    Hey lady. I came across your blog while searching topics on “what drives women to being escorts”. Admittedly, this is my third night in a row reading your blog entries. I would never judge or disrespect ladies for living their lives the way they want to; but I have the greatest concerns for those who are caught up because of their circumstances. I have the same concerns for young kids growing up without a parent, those that are homeless, and those struggling because of unemployment. I spend a lot of my time mentoring young kids and have seen the difference one can make in their lives. Your blog has greatly enhanced my understanding of the escort business and more importantly, the ladies of the business. I strongly agree with you that society lacks support systems for ladies that are addicted to selling their bodies. As I learn more, hopefully one day I can contribute to such a support system for these ladies. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and please continue to write. Pray that you gain much happiness and I plan to continue following your blog. Do you have twitter account? Take care lovely lady. Mike

  8. curious

    I have one BIG question : would you want your daughter or son ( male – on – male escort) to do the same job as you?

    • escortdiary

      No, I would never wish this profession upon anyone. All children, including if I had my own, should be protected from following my path.

      • simi69

        Dear Lady
        you have increasd my understanding of women in general and escorts in particular. Your blog reading has become kind of my hobby hopefully a constant link with it will make me a better man and a human

  9. Rose

    Thank you so much for this post. I am an escort and have been in this situation several times. At first it was easy to dismiss them as I didn’t want a relationship, had plenty of satisfying clients and time was limited, so I chose to save my sexual energies for those clients who valued me enough to pay.

    However, lately I have been really drawn to a particular client. We had instant chemistry, and he has meet me for dinner outside our two fun appointments. He tried saying that he feels this amazing connection and if I feel it too I should be his woman. But, he didn’t want to pay, and if I cared for him, I wouldn’t charge. I had just read this post, so I told him no, and that if he wanted to see me he could pay. We talked for a bit, and he ended up booking a fun appointment. We had a good time, and when he didn’t offer up the payment, I asked him for it and he only brought 2/3 of what was agreed too.

    Truthfully, I’m not sure I’m ready to end it, but I’m not crazy about him anymore. Either way, I’m glad I got what I got. Now, I know to focus my limited time on better clients and that he can’t be trusted to be a good man in a real relationship…. So, thank you for helping me see things more clearly.

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