The Myth of a “Loose” Woman

Well, what is the term loose? Webster dictionary defines loose as: not tight-fitting; not dense, close, or compact in structure or arrangement; lacking moral restraint (unchaste), etc.

Thanks to the diffusion of oppressive Victorian notions of sexuality, many societies today view prostitutes and women with multiple sex partners as  “loose” women. “Loose” in this context has a negative meaning. It signifies that a woman is morally de-valued, because of her ‘loose’ morals and ‘loose’ vagina. The misconception is that her vagina is less tight because she has frequent sex — and in this narrow mentality, a woman’s sexuality supposedly determines her inner qualities. Of course, this concept of being ‘loose’ has no validity at all, but rather is the outcome of hegemonic discourses aiming at maintaining gender inequality. These stereotypes of “loose” women are constructions that serve a political agenda — in this discourse, a woman’s sexuality is a threat to the institutionalized norms of patriarchy. But in reality, a woman’s vagina size does not get bigger as a result of frequent sex with multiple men. The only way a woman’s vaginal canal size increases is, perhaps, by delivering a child vaginally.

When I first entered the sex industry, I thought frequent sex with random men would damage my sexual organs. Essentially, I thought I would become ‘loose.’ This really worried me, until I realized my assumption was incorrect. In fact, exploring my sexuality made me physically ‘tensed’ by way of orgasm. My job as a prostitute exposes me to multiple men, and this variety allows me to explore a diversity of sexuality with some talented men. These talented men made me orgasm in various ways. An orgasm requires contraction of kegal muscles, which can make the vagina more tense (tight). My ex, for instance, always made me orgasm, multiple times. I could have sex with him after seeing multiple clients; rather than being ‘loose,’ having lots of sex actually made me physically tensed, or tightened. An orgasmic vagina usually tightens, especially during climax.

I should also define the main two types of sex that women encounter: sex based on equality (where her orgasm is equally essential for pleasure as his), and unequal sex (the kind of sex that is akin to most porn, where the woman does not actually orgasm). A woman who orgasms often, and knows her body well, has sex for her own pleasure. She cannot be satisfied without an orgasm. On the other hand, there are women who have sex without even knowing about their own body or it’s pleasure potential. To compound further, these women may have a partner who also has no idea (nor interest) about the female orgasm.  A woman who doesn’t orgasm isn’t strengthening her muscles the way an orgasmic woman does. So while a sexually passive woman may not be “loose,” she doesn’t become ‘tensed’ when excited as she has not made much use of her vaginal muscles. A lot of men and women don’t realize this — so calling a woman ‘loose’ for having too much sex is actually incorrect. In fact, men who have experience with orgasmic women are well aware of this beauty — a woman who orgasms makes the sex extremely euphoric, passionate and addicting.

My theory is that women who have frequent orgasms through sexual activities enable a ‘snugness,’ which is due to frequent use of kegal muscles. However, valuing a woman based on the ‘tightness’ of her vagina is very shallow. If one thinks good sex is based purely on physical components (ie: size of vagina), then they have a poor comprehension of what brings great sexual pleasure. If anything, people with overtly superficial expectations on others probably have the worst sex. Any wise person knows that physical components are only one fraction of numerous other inner qualities that contribute to beautiful pleasure. Sadly, there is a tragic abundance of ignorant people who believe physical shapes and sizes are essential to desire — without realizing, many people with narrow mentalities actually limit their access to true pleasure/intimacy. Women come in all different shapes and sizes, as do men. There is a “fit” for everyone, which is linked by chemistry more so than the physical aspect.


Filed under Sex

17 responses to “The Myth of a “Loose” Woman

  1. C Alan

    I see a lady who is in her 40s, and tells me that she has been a working woman for seven years. I am not the best endowed person, but when she orgasms, her vagina pulses and contracts on me, which I really do enjoy. She says it is involuntary, I enjoy it either way. The way I see it is that something that is exercised will only improve.

  2. Lolkegal

    If you are getting torn up all day your pussy is gonna be trash, write all the BS but everyone knows it. Kegal orgasms my ass

    • escortdiary

      Thank you for exemplifying your character. Devaluing prostitutes and reducing our bits to “trash” speaks volumes on your character.

  3. vani

    hi Im vani and i would love to speak to u..pls email me at

    i admire ur blogs and writeup..pls email me…its urgetn i need to talk to u

  4. philip

    awesome piece

  5. Interesting insight into the topic.

  6. simi69

    Thanks for enlightening us on the vagina and its various facets I too had a feeling that the vagina gets loose due to frequent sexual intercourse which you have well clarified
    do throw more true light on sexuality dear lady escort
    Take care

  7. Pingback: Escorting: Fears, Risks, and the ‘Girlfriend Experience.’ | An Exotic Escort's Diary..

  8. Hope

    You say you know what good sex is and I am assuming you felt it in work and other situations. Why do you hate work? Confused.

    • escortdiary

      Sure, I might get pleasure with some clients, but there are still limitations. Pleasure with a client has no comparison to someone I love. You misunderstood my writings, because I don’t hate working always. Clients are not the difficult part for me personally. I hate the implications of my job….how it created an abnormal lifestyle for me, and how it causes me to lie to people in my life (because being a prostitution is shamed in public opinion).

  9. HeartIsBleedingTearsButIamStrong!

    Oh, for crying out loud, leave her alone….
    Everybody has their own view on life, their own unique story. Unique like DNA. There is no right and no wrong DNA.

    We all are different.

    Hope that comparison from biology helps…

  10. Ivan

    peculiar subject but yes a myth with no foundations.

  11. wobsy

    Well said. I appreciate your efforts to keep chipping away at the myths.

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