Monthly Archives: March 2012

“Yes, Mistress..”

The services that sex workers provide varies. A minority of working girls are specialists in fetish services, also known as Dominatrixes. Every “mistress” has her own rules, and many of these fetish specialists do not offer sex as part of their services. Equally, a lot of men seeking fetish services are not seeking sex. Personally,  I am ‘normal’ service provider most of the time, which means I have conventional sex with men. But occasionally, I perform fetishes for clients.

I have beaten men with leather straps/whips. I have punished men. I have spat on their face. I have made them worship my feet,  high-heels, boots, bottom, breasts, or stockings (of course, this was their request).  Do I enjoy it? Well, depending on the circumstances it can turn me on sexually with clients. For instance, I love men to worship my body. Most men generally like to do body worship with me, yet some particularly like to focus on certain areas. In terms of giving physical punishment, I more enjoy it in my personal life. Initially when I first started this work, I thought fetish clients were weird and strange, and I couldn’t do it. Now, I often wish I could be a fetish specialist.

From my observations, a lot of fetish clients are powerful men. In their daily lives, they are accustomed to giving orders and telling people what to do. So, when they visit an escort they behave the exact opposite: they want to be totally helpless. They want to kneel at a woman’s feet and be vulnerable and submit to her desires. In other words, it’s all about her pleasure (or at least that’s the idea). This only proves that external facades can be heavily misleading. I’ve seen countless ‘normal’ well-dressed men who desire unconventional fantasies in secret. I embrace it.

One of my clients overseas was memorable. He was a young guy who usually made a 2 hour appointment. Sex was not his goal. He always brought beautiful lingerie, designer high heels and stockings with him. He wanted me, the escort, to dress him in women’s lingerie and high heels. After dressing, he wanted me to torture him mildly. He wanted to please me too. I tried analyzing his bizarre fetish, yet the concept of a man dressed in women’s lingerie wanting to be humiliated by beautiful woman boggled my mind. Now, however, I see the allure to ‘taboo’ acts. I prefer it myself. Gender constructions of masculinity place a lot of pressure on men to behave in certain ways — a lot of men reject these ideals placed upon them, so sadly it often has to remain secret that men have ‘alternative’ desires.

In my personal life, I enjoy fetishes. I like to mix mild pain with pleasure with men I love. I must emphasize that this is strictly limited to someone I genuinely enjoy/love. I’m dominant in the sense that I get what I desire, and my lover caters to my needs. I equally like inflicting mild pain, while receiving it depending on my mood. I’m what is known as a femdom, because my lovers know my pleasure and satisfaction is paramount over their own…, and I love the idea of them serving me. The idea of him putting my manicure feet in his mouth drives me wild…I love to be spoiled. Or, like with my ex used to love,  sitting on his face. However, I love to spoil my love too, and take him to the edge….to the point where our bodies are shivering.

If I had to reveal one fantasy of mine…it would be a young guy (younger than me) who wants to be told what to do. I am not dominating him physically, but I am giving commands. Thus, he is submitting to my desires and pleasing me. If he succeeds, he will be rewarded royally.

As the Kama Sutra says: there must be variety in love sport…

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Filed under The Escorting Business

Being in Love and Escorting at the Same Time – Can’t Have Both

Being with a man I love and being a successful escort at the same time only works in theory. In reality, one or the other will be strained. For me, my work becomes strained. I cut down clients, because it’s harder to ‘tune’ out my emotions when I’m in love. Alternatively, if I put more emphasis in escorting, then my relationship will be strained. I can’t have the best of both worlds.

Falling in love …it’s the worst thing for me as a sex worker. I become ‘stained.’ Stained, in a metaphorical way, in that my lover, the Sheik, has marked me (emotionally, physically, spiritually). The love consumes me at every moment. I only want to be with my love, nobody else. As a result, I am lazy when with other men (clients).

When I’m in love, it’s like I become chemically ‘marked’ by  his love… his scent never leaves my skin. It’s as if his scent stays with me to ward off other men and say, “This woman is off-limits.” His scent is there when I am with clients. I have withdrawals from this special ‘scent’ when it’s not with me. And the clients can detect it: they know my heart, mind and soul belong to another man.

I become a lazy, uninterested and mechanical service provider to my clients when I am in love. This is the second time it has happened to me. It happened when I was in love with my ex, and I could no longer see clients because the idea of letting other men touch me was unimaginable. And now, with the Sheik…the same is happening. I barely work, but occasionally I see the odd client or two (my Sheik, of course, has no knowledge of this). It’s extremely difficult to sit there with a man who I have NO attraction too…and lay in his arms and be pleasant, because all I am thinking of is how much I hate it.

Yet I need the money. The Sheik provides for me…but I need to stay in the business to meet other goals. I don’t want to become too dependent on the Sheik — no no no — I must not rely on his money, or his love. Dependency is a dangerous area, which I don’t want to be in. Yet I can’t have the best of both worlds.

Sometimes, I wish it was easy just to abandon this love. But it’s not easy

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Filed under Dating a Saudi Student - also my Client, Relationships, The Escorting Business, The Sheik

The Myth of a “Loose” Woman

Well, what is the term loose? Webster dictionary defines loose as: not tight-fitting; not dense, close, or compact in structure or arrangement; lacking moral restraint (unchaste), etc.

Thanks to the diffusion of oppressive Victorian notions of sexuality, many societies today view prostitutes and women with multiple sex partners as  “loose” women. “Loose” in this context has a negative meaning. It signifies that a woman is morally de-valued, because of her ‘loose’ morals and ‘loose’ vagina. The misconception is that her vagina is less tight because she has frequent sex — and in this narrow mentality, a woman’s sexuality supposedly determines her inner qualities. Of course, this concept of being ‘loose’ has no validity at all, but rather is the outcome of hegemonic discourses aiming at maintaining gender inequality. These stereotypes of “loose” women are constructions that serve a political agenda — in this discourse, a woman’s sexuality is a threat to the institutionalized norms of patriarchy. But in reality, a woman’s vagina size does not get bigger as a result of frequent sex with multiple men. The only way a woman’s vaginal canal size increases is, perhaps, by delivering a child vaginally.

When I first entered the sex industry, I thought frequent sex with random men would damage my sexual organs. Essentially, I thought I would become ‘loose.’ This really worried me, until I realized my assumption was incorrect. In fact, exploring my sexuality made me physically ‘tensed’ by way of orgasm. My job as a prostitute exposes me to multiple men, and this variety allows me to explore a diversity of sexuality with some talented men. These talented men made me orgasm in various ways. An orgasm requires contraction of kegal muscles, which can make the vagina more tense (tight). My ex, for instance, always made me orgasm, multiple times. I could have sex with him after seeing multiple clients; rather than being ‘loose,’ having lots of sex actually made me physically tensed, or tightened. An orgasmic vagina usually tightens, especially during climax.

I should also define the main two types of sex that women encounter: sex based on equality (where her orgasm is equally essential for pleasure as his), and unequal sex (the kind of sex that is akin to most porn, where the woman does not actually orgasm). A woman who orgasms often, and knows her body well, has sex for her own pleasure. She cannot be satisfied without an orgasm. On the other hand, there are women who have sex without even knowing about their own body or it’s pleasure potential. To compound further, these women may have a partner who also has no idea (nor interest) about the female orgasm.  A woman who doesn’t orgasm isn’t strengthening her muscles the way an orgasmic woman does. So while a sexually passive woman may not be “loose,” she doesn’t become ‘tensed’ when excited as she has not made much use of her vaginal muscles. A lot of men and women don’t realize this — so calling a woman ‘loose’ for having too much sex is actually incorrect. In fact, men who have experience with orgasmic women are well aware of this beauty — a woman who orgasms makes the sex extremely euphoric, passionate and addicting.

My theory is that women who have frequent orgasms through sexual activities enable a ‘snugness,’ which is due to frequent use of kegal muscles. However, valuing a woman based on the ‘tightness’ of her vagina is very shallow. If one thinks good sex is based purely on physical components (ie: size of vagina), then they have a poor comprehension of what brings great sexual pleasure. If anything, people with overtly superficial expectations on others probably have the worst sex. Any wise person knows that physical components are only one fraction of numerous other inner qualities that contribute to beautiful pleasure. Sadly, there is a tragic abundance of ignorant people who believe physical shapes and sizes are essential to desire — without realizing, many people with narrow mentalities actually limit their access to true pleasure/intimacy. Women come in all different shapes and sizes, as do men. There is a “fit” for everyone, which is linked by chemistry more so than the physical aspect.


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Filed under Sex