Answering Your Questions #2: Why do women become prostitutes? Do Saudi men see Prostitutes?

One thing I want to note before I answer questions is that my view is biased. Never assume my opinion, or anyone’s opinion, is the absolute fact for all escorts. My life, my experiences all shape the way I evaluate the world, just as anyone else’s opinion is influenced by their own context.  I suggest that people always remain skeptical, because my experience and outlook is not necessarily extended to the views of all prostitutes or escorts.

Your Question: Why do women become escorts? Or, what factors make women become prostitutes?

Answer: From my observations, women who become prostitutes were placed in a situation where they needed money, and perhaps fast money. Most escorts originate from low-socioeconomic backgrounds. However, a new minority of high-class prostitutes are coming from stable-income families. They sell themselves not because they are desperate for cash, but rather they want to be part of the upper-crest of society. The money they make from selling their bodies allows these ‘materialistic’ prostitutes to buy the lifestyle associated with the high-class. The shallow values promoted by Western culture disgust me now, but I was once poisoned by the so-called promise of living the ‘luxurious’ lifestyle.

Many women I have encountered in the sex industry have been neglected in some form. When I meet with another prostitute, I like to ask about her origins. I have encountered women who seemed “normal,” but later I found out many of their life circumstances pushed them out of the realm of normalcy. Most often, I hear stories from women who were hurt by men. For instance, some women were sexually abused, which made them very wary about trusting men or others. It is ironic that such women, despite their mistrust in men, end up selling themselves to men. Often, I heard stories of women who came from a broken home, and were forced to take care of themselves from a young age. There was no element of “choice” in their circumstances. The foundation of family stability was absent for them, which left them alone to discovered how to survive. Society can be quite cruel to lost souls, or those without any familial support. Often lost souls are exploited by others. For instance, young boys without any direction are susceptible to gang involvement, and young women are vulnerable to prostitution and sexual exploitation. Although I, myself, was never abused, I feel I was a lost soul too. I had a poor sense of direction, so I fell easily into things that came my way. Thankfully, I learned how to cope with being a prostitute and conduct my experiences with clients in a relatively wholesome manner. However, it is not an easy task for a modern-day prostitute to remain resilient to all the negativity that currently surrounds the sex industry.

As mentioned in my blog, I came from a middle-class family. It would seem that I had no valid reason to become a prostitute. However, my family separated in my teens, and as a result my Mother, siblings and I became relatively poor. Because I had previously lived in relative luxury, being poor was not an easy transition. I noticed that all my peers and friends were pampered while I had nothing. My Mother tried her best to keep us happy by sacrificing her own happiness. I admire her for doing that. As I look back in retrospect, I feel sad that I internalized the idea that being “poor” was shameful. I internalized the idea that I needed to objectify myself by focusing on physical beauty, appearing elite, dressing well, etc. Yet it’s not surprising when one feels ashamed to be poor, because modern societies valorizes elitism and all things associated with wealth-accumulation. A wise person can learn to ignore the dominant shallow values, but a young mind is very vulnerable to dominant ideas.

When the idea of prostitution was introduced to me, I decided to I try it once. My first client was very sweet, respectable, and generous. What boggled my mind was that this stranger, my first client, was a more pleasant experience than my previous sexual experience (losing my virginity). I felt like a Goddess, and I actually enjoy his admiration of my body. And best of all, I had made a lot of money from that one hour encounter. That money boosted my self-esteem, and I was able to buy things that I needed. In theory, everything seemed good. But only years later, I realized that there are hefty implications for being a sex worker (social stigma, constantly trying to hide my lifestyle/identity, conflicts with love, developing a shallow sense of morality/egoism, etc). Sex with clients is not the bad part, but what became difficult is reconciling my livelihood as prostitute with a hostile (outside) society that condemns me.

When I started, I made lots of money very fast and what seemed effortlessly. And I lavished in it, and believed I was improving my life by owning all the luxury items and appearing physically beautiful. Clearly, like many in Westernized societies, I was conditioned to believe that my self-worth could be improved with money. Western-Liberal capitalistic societies values money, power and social status/prestige. When I was younger, I was not aware of how much I was being influenced to value money. I was so blinded, because I thought money would solve my problems, but actually it made me more individualistic, materialistic, and most all of, emotionally empty. I chased money because it enhanced my social status, but at the same time I neglected love and relations with wholesome people. I soon learnt that adopting shallow values only attracted shallow people — and these shallow people have zero comprehension of genuine forms of love, inner beauty, wisdom, etc. I came to notice how the so-called ‘cool’ and ‘glamourous’ people were actually devoid of any wholesomeness — they became utterly unattractive upon this epiphany. I was puzzled at how people I met in impoverished countries seemed much happier than the ‘privileged’ elitists in the Westernized states. Why is it people who are poor in developing countries are happier than the poor in the West? The poor in developing countries have family and community, and their kinship societies protect individuals. Only once I was immersed in the shallow ‘luxurious’ lifestyle, I realized how the “promise” was a farce. Now, ironically, I admire those who DO NOT exhibit the traits I once admired.

Your Question: Do Saudi men go to Prostitutes?

Yes, some Saudi men visit prostitutes. But so do some men from all cultural backgrounds. Men of certain cultures may frequent with prostitutes more than others, but this is not “part of their culture” but rather an outcome of their socio-political context. As well, clients do not visit prostitutes for all the same reasons, so it’s hard to lump all clients into one category. Men have various and complex reasons for visiting prostitutes, and it’s not always just about sex.

In my experience, Saudi students have been a noticeable clientele due to various factors. For one, they are coming to a new country where relations between men and women are open, as opposed to home. Given they have scholarship money, it’s often easier for some to visit a prostitute for sex and companionship than the task of meeting women elsewhere. In many cases, I’ve come across Saudi clients who want more than just sex, they want a relationship.

Some Saudi students will try the services of a sex worker when they first arrive in their country of studies. This is because they have been deprived of expressing their sexuality. At first, visiting a prostitute may seem appealing. Initially, the prostitute is an outlet for their deprived sexual desires, and a prostitute is more accessible and convenient than trying to find sex elsewhere (nightclubs, bars, etc). In my observation, however, most Saudi students will not find casual sex appealing or fulfilling. Instead, they will yearn for a girlfriend-like relationship where they can receive affection and care from a woman, rather than a purely business-transaction from a prostitute. Almost all Saudi clients I’ve met, who were not married, asked me if I would consider being their girlfriend, which indicates they desire companionship. The fact I am a prostitute from a similar culture indeed influences their desire towards me. I don’t think sex, alone, is very satisfying for them, as they often want to express their romance in non-sexual ways too.

In my case, I have become the caregiver to some Saudi students. They resort to me when they are in need of affection, and sometimes chemistry arises. Often, as I’ve said before, sex is not the prime objective of these Saudi patrons. One client invited me to his home so he could prepare me a Saudi feast of kabsa. He was extremely respectful and didn’t try to ravage me, but rather was happy to have me as company.  And my Sheik, technically still my client, evolved to be my partner and lover. He found affection in me, and grew attached to me despite my stigmatized profession. Like others, he said he see’s me not for my profession, but for who I am. While this sounds romantic …again, it’s a temporary romance with the Saudis.

My theory for Saudi students also applies to Kuwaiti and Emirati international students, because some share a similar experiences and have been prior patrons of mine too. This theory does not apply to older Saudi men, because they are usually married, and thus their reasonings for visiting prostitutes are different than the students. I have less experience with older (over 35) Saudi men because they are a rarity in my city. The few older Saudi clients I did have were visiting, and were also married. I suppose working in Bahrain or the Gulf would give me a totally new experience of Saudi patrons, as the dynamics are different.

An interesting article was written, called Arab’s Got Prostitution,” which discusses the wide-spread use of prostitutes among Khaleeji men. The article has valid points, however I don’t feel it is fair to demonize all Khaleeji clients of prostitutes. Like all clients, there are ones with good and bad intentions — clients have numerous reasons for resorting to sex workers. While there are many “bad” clients who see prostitutes as sexual objects to use in a neglectful sense, there also exists “good” clients who realize our hardships and treat us with respect and humility.

It is important to understand the prostitution phenomenon in the Middle East within it’s modern context: Modernization, Neo-Liberalism, Imperialism, Globalization, War, Fundamentalist Sexual-Discourses, etc — complex socio-economic reasons contribute to why prostitution is increasingly rampant in a degraded state.

Many emergent and conflicting political, cultural and global factors have lead to Saudi men being popular patrons of prostitutes. Old gendered norms blended with new demands for modernity (Westernization) has had dire implications. Saudi youth, for instance, are now marrying much later compared to the past, due to spending their early 20’s getting an education, trying to find a good job. Old customs of bride-price (mehr) have become more extravagant, thus making it harder for young Saudi men to get married given many are not financially stable until their late 20’s. Given that Gulf laws restrict dating and interaction with non-related members of the opposite gender, unmarried Saudis are caught in an awkward position. New interpretations of gender that impose strict chastity are not compatible with new social realities (what made sense in 7th century Arabia cannot be applied to a 21st century context). Since many men do not have the financial means for ‘traditional’ marriage until their late 20’s, they are essentially pushed to find intimate bonding elsewhere. It’s unrealistic for a person in their 20’s onwards to abstain from seeking comfort/affection with another person. Thus, prostitutes become an ideal outlet for some. The outcome of numerous factors certainly correlates to men resorting to prostitutes in neighbouring Bahrain or other countries. What is tragic is when certain men (regardless of their culture or religion) show no sense of responsibility or genuine respect towards these women, which thereby conditions men to think it’s okay to ‘use a woman’ with no emotional attachment. Not all clients have a ‘neglecting’ intention towards prostitutes, but sadly many do. Even worse, discourses exist to aid a double standard in society, where ‘fallen’ women are seen as the culprits. Such neglecting behavior negates the essence of Islam, because Islam emphasizes social justice for people. The Gulf state governments have basically “sold out” to the lure of the West. Their attempts to ‘protect’ the so-called ‘traditional’ culture is a mere facade, as the old ‘traditional’ practices simply are incompatibly in the new social realities.

Your Question: Why do some men prefer prostitutes for sex?

This is a subjective question. But there is something I think about often: many prostitutes are assertive women. They have their own money and they are independent. Many do NOT cling to men, because men are multiple for a prostitute. It is not a big deal if a prostitute is unsatisfied with one man, because there are plenty of men who can replace him. Some prostitutes develop confidence over time in her sexuality because of her experience.

“Normal” women (women who don’t sell their bodies) make this assumption: pleasing the man will win his heart (it wont!). I have not read that popular book, “Why Men Love Bitches” yet, but the title alone is enough to support my argument. Men need challenge, men need mystery….and men need a woman to be assertive!  A woman can still be herself and be assertive too; this does not mean she has to be dominant per say in an extreme sense. Also, the importance of personality is so crucial, and a lot of women forget about their own needs and desires. Investing all your time in your appearance might attract men, but it won’t keep the worthy ones interested. The very popular trend of women divesting their intellect and making themselves sex-objects is not very wise — as it only attracts men who view women as an object. Being beautiful, only on the outside, does not translate into being a desirable, assertive woman. A woman who thinks she can please a man by giving him, for example, oral sex everyday isn’t very challenging either. What about a woman’s pleasure? Why are most ‘normal’ women not assertive about their own sexual needs? Perhaps because ‘normal’ women are still timid about sex. This is what, perhaps, differs between some prostitutes and ‘normal’ women; prostitutes become comfortable with their bodies and sex appeal because it’s our job. For instance, I am quite demanding in my personal sex life, yet in a subtle way. I know what I desire and I am open to express it with the right man. I have certain sex expectations from my experiences with talented lovers. I cannot be with a man who doesn’t know how to give me amazing orgasms. If he can’t please me, he better learn or he will lose me. I only gained this confidence from my experience in the sex industry. For every lousy sexual partner, there is a great talented lover…so why settle for less? I’d much rather be alone than be with a man who treats me less then what I expect. Without these experiences, I probably would be too timid to demand sexual pleasure.

In a vain sense, I feel the men in my life serve me. Sure, I am a ‘service provider,’ but essentially men feel a bit intimidated by me. They know I am sexually experienced, so they know that pleasing me is not an easy task. I pose a challenge to my lovers. The irony is I can be quite insecure. But with men, initially, I would never dare to expose my insecurities.

Your Question: Do Prostitutes Enjoy Sex with Clients?

This really depends on the individual (the sex worker). Some women can get aroused by certain clients, and other women are absolutely repulsed by clients trying to give them pleasure.  One escort I met told me she was molested as a child, and resultantly she hates sex with clients. She told me her services are very ‘restricted.’ She said she could never kiss a client, or allow a client to kiss her body, because the idea sickened her. Clients will argue that women who don’t enjoy sex should NOT be a prostitute, but that’s too simple to say. This woman shouldn’t be selling herself, but again many of these women do not have a choice. They were placed in a position of desperation, with limited options. Or perhaps they might have been facing some sort of addiction, and selling themselves is the only method that works for them. I feel deeply sorry for these women, because they despise selling themselves, and yet society has made no alternatives for them.

Personally, I have ‘enjoyed’ some men as clients, but it is not enjoying it the same way I enjoy my lovers (then again, all my lovers originated as clients). I say ‘enjoyed’ because sex with a client cannot compare to having sex with someone I love. I can even orgasm with clients who push the right buttons, but there is still a difference. I connect with some of my clients and feel desire with some of them. What I enjoy is a client who is easy going and not demanding. Essentially, a client is enjoyable when I feel totally relaxed. In any event I cannot show a client my displeasure; I, a prostitute, must act as if pleasure was in my nature.

My desire for certain clients depends on my personal life. When I am working and not in a relationship (single) I enjoy sex with clients more. They are my only source for sex when I am single, because I avoid casual sex. But when I am in love with someone, the idea of a client devouring my body is sometimes harder for me to digest (not always, but sometimes love can affect seeing other clients). It’s really confusing: I can still have an orgasm with a client, yet I can also have no desire afterwards for him. For me, I am just making the best of the moment with that client. For instance, I had a client not too long ago who was an absolute gentleman. He was generous, extremely respectful, and he actually made me orgasm twice. Did I enjoy it? Well, at the moment, yes and no. He had amazing sexual skills and was warm and intellectual, but of course I am not in love with him at all. He wasn’t my type either, so although he made me cum I was not really attracted. I cannot genuinely enjoy a mans touch unless I love him or feel truly attracted.

Now, if a sex worker started to develop feelings for her client, then of course she will enjoy his touch.  After all, my ex-fiance was my client. Instantly we had chemistry upon meeting, so I did enjoy his touch.


Filed under "High-class" prostitution, Facts About the Sex Industry, Questions for Escorts And Clients, The Escorting Business, Trying to leave prostitution, Types of Clients, Types of Prostitutes

35 responses to “Answering Your Questions #2: Why do women become prostitutes? Do Saudi men see Prostitutes?

  1. Abi

    Thankyou for your well written articles. I was devastated to discover my husband had been seeing prostitutes and one in particular, for 2 years. That connection has hurt me more than the brief encounters. I have been trying to find answers so that I can be at peace. I want insight into both parties so that I might understand and forgive. That is the only way I can continue to live. It has been incredibly hard for me and, since I found out, for him too. I wish he had finished our relationship first before giving himself to other women. I believe that the emotional stress this has caused him, from seeing me so injured, will affect him for a long time and may well make him physically ill. I was very damaged by it all, but I am recovering. Relationships and people of all kinds are so very complicated.

    • theLadyGigolo

      No they’re not. Its simple. Men are crap. Ive been an escort for 6 years and its unbelievable how gullible and naive most women are towards men. It borders on stupidity. open your eyes and stop projecting feelings onto men that they don’t have.

  2. Albert

    The bashing of the West is so tiring. I do not appreciate capitalism. Not at all. Still, the West is not responsible for the appetite for money in Saudi Arabia etc. Yes, the West supports dictators, and yes money is part of the West, but not only. It gives social benefits, it helps the disabled, etc. Maybe you should see things not just from one perspective. Sentences like this “The Gulf state governments have basically “sold out” to the lure of the West.” are so tiring. Do you thing the Gulf state governments are angels? Slavery, exploitation of worldwide workers, racism, destruction of nature … West or Middle-East, there is greed, beauty, despair, braveness … We are all one. I agree that in the Middle-East there is more communication within a family and in a group of friends, generally speaking. It used to be so in the West too and slightly tends to disappear. Still … when will the Middle-East accept to face their own responsibility instead of always bashing the West. Part of the bashing is ok. And part is just denying to looking within oneself.
    As regards the rest of your article, thank you.

  3. gorgeousdickchopper

    A lot of what you say is gullible and foolish. You allow these men to manipulate you into free sex and then you say its simply a “temporary romance “. Ofcourse its temporary. An unmarried man has more to benefit by duping an escort than by continuing to pay. By schmoozing and romancing her, he gets what he wants for free. A married man prefers to pay because it secures his privacy and discretion. He doesn’t want you getting jealous later. I believe you are well intentioned but gullible and naive. That is not a good mindset for an escort. If you don’t believe what I say, there are plenty of forums found on google search of men single men discussing how they “game” and manipulate escorts into free dates.

    • escortdiary

      I am confused as to whom your comment is addressing?

      I never gave free sex to anyone. The lovers I had still took care of me financially. I am very aware of how there are sick men who try to manipulate escorts into free sex (and I intend to write about it one day), but personally, that’s never been my case. Your comment is either misguided or meant to address someone else?


      • theLadyGigolo

        It was still probably cheaper for them than hiring you as an escort. They got more for their money. if you think any of these men loved you you’re sadly misguided.

  4. md

    Selling your body is a very unqualified job, so no respect for the prostitutes.

  5. repeat client

    Certainly you are right that not all women in this profession are there due to childhood traumas but many indeed are. I would posit this is the case from the client side also. for example i am considered a pretty good looking guy and many beautiful women , all hotter than any prostitute ive known,were very forward about their intention to date ,seduce or be involved romantically. I never responded to them due to my own scarring from my terrible childhood and cruel mother which made me terrified of genuine loving relationships. i go to prostitutes and escorts not so much for sex but affection and sensuality. and honestly i dont even like intercourse…yes i prefer oral without condom as that is the ultimate affection…I know it sounds strange to you.. I also like them to play with my hair and stroke my face and kiss me on the cheek(rather than lips)…. Ironically I suppose I can get all this and more from ‘normal” women but am terrified to take that step.
    Fortunately due to my looks and gentle and charming nature(boy am I beating my own drum today :)), many are willing to forgoe their restrictions and cross their limits as you put it.
    I try to stick to one long term but they end up somewhere else.

    Sorry I spoke about myself too much. But the point was in your very well written and articulate post(much better written than many professional writers nowadays, and those are so in the tank for their preferred political party that you might as well swap jobs with them, you have far more honor)
    you expressed a discomfort in expressing affection. Well if it wasnt for prostitutes extended that to me, I would be dead a long time ago.

    As an aside, the West particularly U.S and western Europe wasnt always bad , since the 60s , the four horseman of societal collapse- welfare state,abortion,easy divorce and sexual liberation wrecked the social fabric of western culture. The rampant materialism during that era was an understandable if flawed government approach to counter the brutal Soviet state and influence.
    They wouldve done better to remember Jesus’s dictum- man doesnt live by bread alone

  6. Chris

    To be honest I only got into this topic when a friend of mine who has gotten married and just had a kid this year with his wife found that his wife wasnt able to satisfy his sex life so he asked me to ring different escorts for certain services. That friend of mine has helped me a lot in the past so I couldnt say no to him. I was stuck in a dilemma because I didnt want his marriage to break apart if his wife found out he was using escort services. It was this that triggered off my thinking about my own sexuality. At the age of 30 and being a virgin, I questioned why do people have sex – Having become interested in females at the later age of 21, I was never interested in a womans breast or vagina or butt – I am more of a leg person – so this triggered of my thinking. I am more interested in foreplay rather than sex but foreplay through clothing but I think prostitutes who do this are very brave indeed because sex involve exchange of germs and fluids especially with people you dont know about. Personally I wouldnt see prostitutes but I would go to a strip club.

  7. Dear Chris, in my ideal world, life would be simple.
    At that point, I agree. (I’m curious about the author’s opinion).
    My ideal life would be: Getting married, becoming a housewife and raise my children. Yes, at that point I’m rather conservative.
    My actual dream job is to become an esthetician. But my surroundings won’t accept it. Why? Because I’ve to earn a bachelor degree, to be a successful woman. I have to earn a good wage.
    But I’ve never felt so alienated from myself.
    The materialistic way is about the only way a person is valued in my vicinities. And I, as an individual, can’t ignore this materialistic ‘values’. If I don’t live by the rule of being successful in a materialistic way, then I’d be expelled from society.
    You’re seen as ‘dumb’ and marginalized, whether you’re a prostitute or not.
    And yes, our opinions greatly differ when it comes to sex.
    And it’s good for you if you can stay celibate until marriage, but I can’t. (I’m not a virgin, anyway).
    Your life, your choice. But what bothered me, is that you start to brutally insult a person that doesn’t live in the same way as you.
    Not all hookers are dirty, and not all duty-full wives are clean. Generalizing people is a very common mistake.
    I mean, the content of this blog clearly bothers you.
    But why can’t you just read on, and learn from a totally different kind of person? It’ll be an enrichment. 😉

  8. Chris

    Its me again – yes Im surprised so many women work in that industry. As a dr i frequently have sex workers come and pay me a visit for a check up and some of them even have the audacity to ask me out despite them being previously diagnozed with chlymadia. Maybe im a geek or a nerd but I cannot understand the idea of escorts being attractive – their bodies, vaginas and mouths are filled with germs – I would never go out with one of them and even though Im a dr, i would prefer a simple life – you Americans and arab americans hate Prez Ahmadinejad – hes my hero – look at his simple life – forget about his comments about Israel – look at the way he leads a simple life – and he has no materailistic ambitions – unlike you escorts. Learn to respect your bodies – sex should only be for your loved one or for children.

    • Aphrodite

      hmm, well, you can have the luck to be a sex worker and never contracted something, and the misfortune to get a disease from someone you love, because you ‘trusted’ him.
      Yeah, probably it’s just me… but having sex for a living doesn’t imply Sahar doesn’t respect her body. People do all kinds of dangerous things throughout their lives, for the sake of money and material goals, yet sex is about the only thing that’s constantly linked with respect, self-esteem, and self-respect. As if sex is the only matter. What about a sex worker who is kind and respectful towards others, and protects herself and her clients on principal? Is she still a depraved person?
      Oh, and what about people who never find their love? Should they stay sexless until the end of times?
      And you shouldn’t tell in which ‘right’ context people have sex and in which ‘wrong’ context not. I’m not a smart-ass, but I know just doesn’t work out.
      People will continue having sex outside marriage, without a relationship, and not for the sake of children. And happens everwhere, not only in the West and in America.

      • Chris

        Why don’t women in the west desire a simple life – I wear my pyjamas on the street even as a Dr. I dont care what people think of me – sometimes wearing poor clothes will detract the gold diggers coming at you. There are lots of gold digger women in western countries – women in the west have serious materialistic ambitions – but they need to accept what the Buddha has said – nothing in life lasts forever – mercedez benz will be superseeded – laptops will be superseeded. Having read your comments about sex, I think it is sad that some men in their 40s havent had sex but its not the end of the world for them – I am a strict celibate but once I get married, then its religiously acceptable for me to have sex.

  9. Chris

    Escorts are dirty sluts! I am a 30 year old virgin and I am repulsed by the idea of sex and escorts. Escort bodies are filled with other mens sperm – yuck. Escort mouths are filled with mens sperm – kissing them is disgusting – escorts are the lowest of the low in society.

    • eleen

      Guess what everyone else who reads this blog is doing? Laughing their ass off your comment! Well done, 30 years old virgin.

    • Aphrodite

      Well if you’re so disgusted by them, why don’t you stay away from this blog? Spare us your hate and disgust. Do you really think your comment counts?….OMG…so ludicrous
      A 30 year old virgin…well, that says a lot about your experience with escorts (ir.) 😉

      (My apologies Sahar, I just HAD to react to this one.)

  10. syed salam.d

    Women never become prostitute because if she get full support from her family and get full love from her husband and children she never go that wrong way she select good way she never need money but only love from family and husband i have worked in this project i am a doctor i worked on it by our own ngo i had intervied many womens 95% of women have no interest in prostitution but the young girls of 5% who like this from their family members because they did get any love from their family so they go away from the family members.

    • escortdiary

      Thank you for sharing. Although lack of love does affect any person, it’s not the sole cause of women resorting to sex work. Your rather ‘psychological’ assessment is far too generalized and misses the broader and diverse reasons why women resort to sex work, such as facing poverty, having limited options, not having education, being a single parent, rapid social change, or simply desiring an alternative lifestyle, etc. Many prostitutes have love and familial support, yet for economic reasons they are driven to sex work. Think about women in countries facing war or extreme poverty, like Iraq. Many Iraqi women came from loving families, yet because of the dire economic and political situation many were forced into sex work to survive (as their were virtually no better alternatives for them).

      To a certain extent, good family structure, good socioeconomic living standards and a loving environment would prevent women from resorting to this work. However, one must not forget that there are some prostitutes who do enjoy their work and view it in a positive way perhaps, and they are NOT resorting to it solely on the basis of financial desperation. They might be surrounded by love too, but they desire an alternative lifestyle rather than conforming to societal ‘norms.’ Bare in mind that many non-Western societies, historically, allocated status and nobility to ‘pleasure’ persons. Although a minority, some prostitutes might come from good, loving families, but for a variety of reasons (social, economic, political, or perhaps personal desire) they find themselves in the sex industry.

      Essentially, when the ‘social question’ is solved in contemporary society, where people are cared for and provided with adequate needs, then there is little incentive to resort to sex work. However, in current global dynamics, many women face LIMITED options, so prostitution (with it’s financial rewards) becomes an option. It’s very sad when women are indirectly forced to do this against their own desires, but often the reason is because society has made no better alternatives.

    • blessed

      @Syed to be honest with you, I do not think it has much to do with family support. Once you meet enough escorts you will discover that some are merely risk takers who have chosen escorting instead of sky diving. I think that those in the escort business and the clients have a huge advantage in some ways. They are able to see through the facades that people put up to satisfy their family and society. Once I discovered the escort world, I realized that many of the people I walk by everyday are probably in the scene as well. When I go to a hotel, I can get a good sense of who is doing what and what is going on. Some of the most outwardly conservative people are into this scene and secretly laugh at those who are not a part of it. I read people much better now.

      • escortdiary

        @ Blessed

        You should be careful in your assessment. Even though you have met many escorts, it doesn’t mean they will reveal their souls to you. The main motivating factor is economic, and then of course, there are various other ‘push’ factors.

  11. Aziz

    It’s interesting how some girls in the industry approach a relationship. I’ll give a personal experience as example. I knew a very interesting, sweet and intelligent girl in the industry. Just after we met, she hinted to commitment. I couldn’t understand at the time why she referred to that instead of asking any of the usual questions women outside the business would ask. Well, at the time I hadn’t the proper knowledge about the lifestyle and life circumstances of an escort. First, some escorts are doing this job for years and they become very good at reading people right away. Second, sharing a deep emotional attachment remains a top priority, and as you’ve said they are independent and aware that if some aspects in their primary relationship aren’t perfect (which is surely the case in every relationship), they still have different possibilities in other dealings.

  12. “People who don’t have money in Western societies are at a huge disadvantage, because this society does not CARE for those with less. Why is it people who are poor in developing countries are happier than the poor in the West? The poor in developing countries have family and community, and their kinship societies protect individuals. I had no protection, because in this individualist West I had to fend for myself.”
    Hi there. I think your statement about Western society and money makes sense. Westeners want to be good, they occasionally (or often) donate money to help the poor out there. But the thing is, Westeners associate poorness with developing countries, in Asia, or Africa, or Lating America.
    They say: “Let’s donate money to those poor kids in India, or Africa, (or whatever), so they can build up schools, and have a better (happier?) life.
    But they actually tend to forget the poor people in there own country.
    Poorness is a big taboo, certainly in the country where I live, We have one of the highest living standards. And being poor and unhappy is ‘not done’.
    Fortunately, I have a close bond with my family. My parents are still a happy couple, they care for me. So, I can praise myself lucky.
    For so far, I can, yet.
    My mom even knows of my practices (My mother is so kind, I praise her!), but she thinks it’s a temporary thing.
    But then, there is this money., ogling.
    My urge to earn money has its base in other feelings too (is this a correct sentence?)
    My parents are white, they earn good money, they know how to handle their money, they’re extremely good people.
    Ironically, I have these feelings of guilt. Towards them.
    Not because I’m in prostitution, oddly enough.
    It’s because they’ve cared so good for me, during all these years.
    And I often had the feeling I was ‘stealing’ their money, They were always extremely generous. So I started to feel guilty. I wanted to make money,
    Lots of money, in a fast way.
    Even now, I have this irrational fear of running out of money, even though I’m richer than other students.
    Plus, I was looking for adventure. And to me, being in prostitution is an adventure.
    I’m not trying to glamorize it,
    But I’m often drawn into situations I shouldn’t be in.
    Even before entering prostitutiion, I did some ‘deviant’ things.
    (But they weren’t that bad, to put you at ease).
    And again, I’m happy to have found your blog.

    • escortdiary

      It’s good to know that you are doing something you enjoy. That’s how it should be. Your case is rare indeed, but lucky — I’d imagine the effects of stigma are less when your own family is accepting of your work. Prostitution can be good for small minority, while bad for others. This is why State interventions and Laws can be problematic, because a ‘one solution’ mentality assumes prostitution is entirely negative for all. Again, thanks for sharing.

  13. Krista

    Your comments on why women decide to be a prostitute are way too generalized! Not all prostitutes were sexually abused or poor or have a mistrust of men. Some women do this because it’s a job like any other. A well paying you at that. I do it and I enjoy it. It does not damage me in anyway because I see nothing wrong with it and I know it’s a service I am providing. I lovey job and lifestyle. I think the idea you are trying to get across is just proving all the stereotypes about escorts. We are not all sad, abused, addicted women forced into this “terrible” buisness. I’m a confident, intelligent, driven women and I think I am a better representative to escorts at least where I live. There are many others like me and we are sick of being portrayed as helpless dirty hoes. If you feel that way in this buisness than you shouldnt be in this buisness and yes it is that simple. There are plenty of other professions to choose from.

    • escortdiary

      Thank you for the comment. You are right, I should not be in the industry, but unfortunately leaving is easier said than done. If you had read more of my posts, it would be clear that I have tried ‘normal’ jobs, yet I face a real addiction (my mind is haunted with the fact that money is waiting for me to take it, via using my body).

      I disagree with your statement that suggests ‘many’ escorts have no problems at all doing this. You are (and your friends) are an exceptional case. That is a great thing that it doesn’t affect you in a negative way. If you feel proud about it, you should be. But honey, the reality is most women are not happy that they are ‘stuck in the game.’ Women who enjoy having sex with men who don’t arouse them or give them emotional support are in the minority.

      In my 7 years in the business, I have met countless escorts in various parts of the world. The ones who ‘enjoy’ escorting are in a phase where they feel “empowered.” I know the feeling, because I once felt that sleeping with men was easy and didn’t affect my emotions. Yet later, I realized how this lifestyle was based on neglect (we are neglected by clients, and we ourselves neglect clients too). How is sleeping with men you don’t like empowering? I also heard of escorts who say they love sex, but it is impossible to enjoy every single patron. I try my best to enjoy the experience, but I can only suppress my emotional needs beyond a limit.

      As well, I never implied escorts are ‘dirty hoes..,’ as I find that extremely degrading. A woman is no more or less worthy based on her sexual habits.

      Perhaps you are in a phase where prostituting is not affecting you. I was once that way too. I once felt this job gave me power, independence and freedom. If you value independence and personal gain, then I can understand why you find it appealing. Chasing sounds great in theory, and living a lavish lifestyle (but at what cost?) I see those individualistic values as something that made me selfish, egotistic and vain (but again, many people embrace those aspects nowadays).

    • Aju

      dear you are so right i think you all give a big service to men like us. my wife cant take it more than 5 min and i need this 3 time a day at least. i mean i am left burning for weeks some times. in this modern age i fell so helpless but still i love here a lot.

  14. HeartIsBleedingTearsButIamStrong!

    Omrie entie 😉 Wallah I’m so happy sharing everything, wal-lah!!!!

  15. HeartIsBleedingTearsButIamStrong!

    You are welcome, Habebtie. You inspired me to create a blog of my own. I’m working on it now 😉
    Definitely a lot to share, a lot of get off my chest…. 🙂

  16. HeartIsBleedingTearsButIamStrong!

    There you go! 2 people for the book already! 🙂

    Ivan, I’m with you on the statement that she’s a very smart girl. In addition, I totally agree that life’s all about how WE want it to be – those ideas come from the inside, not the outside. We have a powerful world of our own. Inside of us. Society is out there, no doubt about that. But I see it playing a secondary role rather than a primary one.

    I would also looooove to meet with her!!! I have almost 6 years of intensive experience with Saudis in various aspects of life including true, romantic relationships, and would love to share my thoughts and feelings……

  17. Ivan

    without doubt! you are a smart woman, therefore your opinion is valid…. So dont make excuses of something that is implicit, besides we all are entitled to our opinion.
    When i was getting to know my GF and when she was trying to convince me to become a muslim (heh) i told her, Im not saying im right or that you are wrong but chances are that im sticking with my beliefs.

    The reason i paid for an escort a couple years ago which cost me a lot, couple thousands dollars, was more for the exp and…. which btw i didnt enjoy it at all and the main reason is because when i have sex with a woman i need to be connected which is something a prostitute avoids and i think this is what you mean when you say that you feel no pleasure when you are having sex with a client.

    when it comes to saudis, at least i can tell you that they have a bad rep in the bay area (stanford and Berkeley) and in Washington. In spain too but i think that has to do with history and social issues and not just saudis but arabs,

    Curious… could you describe your experiences with each race? i know a couple of arabs, nice ppl but weak social skills.

    Sweetie altho i already told you this, but here it goes… with all my love here it goes, you are making an excuse each time you attack “society” you need to accept that YOU and nobody else is responsible for your actions, WHY IM TELLING YOU THIS? because you brought this world to you and ONLY YOU can set you free, not society, not your family or your clients or anyone… You are the only one who has the power to leave this world.
    When you say society did this to me, you are blaming a ghost, and that ghost is not going to appear

    I need to sleep but i KNOW what its like to live with luxuries and comfort and in a matter of months wham… everything is gone, too bad we cant have a cup of coffee cause i feel like we could share some experiences.

    Good Luck and a BIG BIG hug

    PS i subscribe the opinion that it would be nice to read a book about you.

  18. HeartIsBleedingTearsButIamStrong!

    Mark my words: some day you will write a book of your own…
    And I will be the first one to read it 🙂 By the way, I would love to help design the cover for the book 🙂 Ahhh!!!! That would be one nice project!!!

    As always – masha’allah, nice discussion…

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