They say ..”Love is Stronger than Pride..”

Scars always remain…just like the stain on my veil will never go away. In this sense, I will always be a prostitute. Inshallah one day I will stop and do something that truly makes me happy, but regardless….I will always have a unique perspective on life that I cannot share with most.

I mentioned in previous posts how I conform to social norms in public settings. This society is not kind to those who do not conform. To avoid out-casting myself, I conform when I must. Sometimes, I have to pretend to be “sweet and innocent”…..when inside I’m feeling depressed and bitter about life.

More than often I am in the company of a ‘normal’ women. When I say ‘normal’ I am referring to women who do not sell their bodies (and women who probably condemn the idea of prostitution). Of course, I am a master of disguise. I blend in well. I pretend to be like them, and share commonalities. But the truth is I am deeply damaged inside compared to these girls. My life experiences differ vastly. I enjoy meeting new people, but only for a short amount of time. If I cannot be myself and feel comfortable, I’d rather avoid the situation. I prefer to be in company of people who know the ‘real’ me now.

On a personal note. I am deeply in love. The best things in life happen when one does not expect it. It has now been one year since the Sheik and I met. I cannot leave him. He is the first to greet me in the mornings and the last one to kiss me goodnight. We may not have the chance to share our life together forever, but we share our moments together now. He loves me, and I love him …and that’s all that matters. Our love has progressed with every kiss. In the past posts, I was always complaining about our love, but now I feel like saying “Alhamdolillah”….because I must be thankful….he has been a great addition into my life.

3 Comments

Filed under Dating a Saudi Student - also my Client, The Sheik

3 responses to “They say ..”Love is Stronger than Pride..”

  1. Ivan

    With all my heart i have to tell you,

    my friend you are looking for approval of ppl you DO NOT KNOW, persons that are not close to you, that you have never heard of… Yes maybe someone like you could get killed in MENA and this is the type of standards you are seeking, and yes if a guy wants to get married with you he would have preconceived ideas of your personality but you have such a beautiful soul and i can tell that you do NOT belong to this world but circumstances have made you follow this path… Maybe the universe wants you to learn a lesson, but TRUST ME you are going to get out of this industry sooner or later… i promise!.

    Bettawfee2 inshallah 😉

  2. Ivan

    lol i just entered to check if u had another post and i noticed that i made a tiny mistake haha… What i meant is that you are looking for your roots, and that in your mind you are a conservative woman, like an arab lady.

    btw and this is just me, i have never understood why ppl want to feel where they are coming from? their roots.. etc i think history is important but at the end you are just a human being living life.
    But again this is just me! and i have my logic,

    1 quick question, lol do you anthropomorphize the moon? this happens very frequently with women!

  3. Scythian

    There is a saying of a Jewish Sage Eleazar ha-Kappar: “without your will were you fashioned, without your will were you born, without your will do you live, without your will you will die.” The domain of our life where a free choice can be exercised is very small, sometimes it grows a little bit bigger, sometimes smaller, at times it disappears altogether. We are forced to accept certain roles, and the only freedom we might have is to play them diligently, and wait for the moment when we are offered another, a better role in a tragi-comilal farce titled ‘Life’. Some 5 or 6 times I thought I got an opportunity to change my occupation, and every time I was wrong.
    Maybe in lifes of others things function differently. If so, lucky they are.

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