Sahar, the Prostitute with a Heart of Gold?

I would like to think of myself as a virtuous prostitute, if such a title could exist. The fact that I have sex before marriage means that I am anything BUT virtuous. However, if one puts virtuous in the context of being a prostitute who still retains wholesome, moral values, then I consider myself virtuous. People tend to think escorts, or prostitutes, have poor attitudes, dress vulgar and engage heavily with intoxicants. For me, I don’t drink, I don’t dress vulgar in my day-to-day life, and am rather conservative in other aspects of my life. Am I the only ‘virtuous’ prostitute, …or do others exist?

For some men, I fit the mold of an ideal partner — other than, perhaps, that I happen to be a prostitute. I attract men who want a serious relationship, yet the problem is my fierce need for self-governance. However, my desire for independence conflicts with my natural urge for needing love and belonging. Again, the story of my life is how to reconcile these conflicting ideals.

It feels good that one of my closest friends is now aware of my lifestyle (that I am an escort). She said to me, teasingly“Do you think you are the Mother Theresa of prostitutes? This was in reference to our conversation about some clients I have encountered. I was telling this friend how I feel sorry for some men, the ones who are sweet but do no possess the social skills to ‘pick up’ women. I told her how I sympathize with some of my clients. For instance, when I meet a man who may not be handsome or socially accepted but has pure and honest heart…I will treat him well, and I want to show him love (even if it’s only for one or two hours…I want to show him my affection, even though I do not actually love him).

It is the greatest injustice that we commit as human beings: denying love to others. Neglecting and lacking love is what contributes to a lot of social problems. Denying someone love from an early age can have many negative reactions in the future. So, always be thankful to be alive. Again, problems we feel here in the West are NOTHING in comparison to the serious issues (such as famine and war) faced by those in the peripheral. Be thankful everyday, and do your best to provide someone (even a stranger) with some compassion. Where does one get the idea that we should deny anyone love? I ask myself this question. I denied my ex the right to continue to love me. We are now separated for a year…and I must admit that I still love him. Yet I also love my Sheik. In a perfect world, I could love all of them and provide my affection to all. Unfortunately the world is full of possessiveness, emotions, and angst.

Escorts, especially the beautiful and successful ones, can develop huge egos. They think their vaginas are gold and superior (when in reality there is no such thing). As result, the money and the attention from men makes these women develop an arrogant attitude. This has happened to me too. However, whenever my egos gets too inflated, the natural equilibrium kicks in to push me back down to earth. Anyway, some girls never come back down to earth (become humble), and resultantly these women treat men who are not handsome or ‘cool’ as inferiors. I have seen this many times: a ‘beautiful’ co-worker of mine belittling and criticizing a lovely and sweet client just because he wasn’t ‘hot.’ Interestingly, those ‘cruel type’ escorts don’t do well long-term in this industry, because decent men don’t come back to see them as a regular client. The rule is that shallow attracts shallow. A beautiful escort with an ugly heart will only attract shallow, empty men (ie: rich coke-addicted clients). As a result, these shallow escorts are the ones who’s beauty and success fades the quickest. And sadly, they end up as most shallow people do (addicted to drugs, partying, materialism, showing off — anything to hide their emptiness).

As cliche as it sounds, it is really true: true beauty does shines from within; it begins in the heart, and therefore a person who’s ugly from within is not beautiful. When egotistical escorts judge clients on shallow basis (just how some clients judge escorts on the same terms), it’s saying more about themselves than the person they are judging. Personally, I have deep empathy for good-hearted men who face rejection, so I try my best to show them affection and provide them with a service that is genuine.

A few instances I have come across clients who had some obvious imperfections (by society’s shallow standards). These men did not fit society’s superficial ideals (ie: following trends, having a certain look, wearing a certain attire, etc). Many naive escort women feel ‘business’ men, who dress sharply in expensive suits, are ideal. For me, shallow-types are for the most part utterly boring and unappealing. Of course, not all men who wear suits subscribe to shallowness, but ‘elite’ men whom behave boastful and value typical ‘mindless’ traits like money/power have no personal value to me. I’ve observed that the men who’ve tipped me the biggest sums where NOT egotistical types, nor were they trying to showcase their wealth. They were wealthy by chance, and did not feel the urge to flaunt it, but rather they were modest and practical

The Concept of using “High-class” as an Escort?

I am skeptical about the name that is assigned to women like me: high-class. It signifies that I am superior over other prostitutes because I’ve conformed to the ideals of the rich. As I get older I’m starting to see how sick this Western society and mentality is: this society brainwashed us to worship the rich, the powerful, and the beautiful (yet, are these people really the ones who are altruistic, humanistic, and empathetic??) Our society tells us to value the worst aspects of society: the elite, “exclusiveness,” the upper class of snobs who exploit the masses. What other name can I advertise myself as other than ‘high-class?’ Should I be the ‘socially conscious and intellectual escort? Unfortunately, to be part of this perverted game, I must conform to what will bring me business: the high-class escort. If only I could advertise myself as: I am a ‘Halal’ Escort…..

Film for thought: I watched an Algerian film that depicts a Muslim prostitute. It’s called Viva L’Algerie. I suppose the character playing the prostitute was ‘halal’…because there is a scene where she wears her modest Islamic outfit (possibly an Abaya) over her sexy slinky dress for work.


Filed under "High-class" prostitution, The Escorting Business

8 responses to “Sahar, the Prostitute with a Heart of Gold?

  1. simi69

    Dear Lady
    You are pure in your thoughts of not being arrogant about your success as a prostitute and treating all your clients with love ( for payment of course) irrespective of their social stature .
    I hope the quantity and quality of the timed love you provide to your clients is not directly proportional to the money they pay

  2. escortdiary

    Thank you for sharing that dear.

    Class is just an imaginary in the sex industry world — it’s just a performance. We have to follow these silly societal notions in order to advertise ourselves. But dear, there is no difference between you and I.

    When I wrote this post, I remember I was asking myself a question, “Why do many prostitutes act vulgar? Why does selling one’s body mean one has to conduct themselves in such a lowly manner?” By lowly, I meant how some escorts are extremely concerned with chasing money, perhaps even manipulating clients without remorse. I could never do these things, and I felt odd because I found most clients to be quite nice. I refrained from common attitudes of other escorts, so I suppose that’s why I called myself ‘halal.’ I can tell you are the same with your clients — seeing them as an individual, not a species.

    As for your “Client” I do understand why getting too personal can make everything uncomfortable, or “suffocating” as you say. I will stay tuned to your blog to see what results.


    • Dear Escort,
      My views about Halal are different
      When you refer to the word Halal what do you mean by it.
      In our country we see & hear about Halal meat being sold and eaten by the Muslims. As I hear Halal meat is prepared by the slow killing of animals while chanting the Kalma.
      To my mind killing of animals in anyway is not clean or justified by any religiun and therefore cannot be called as
      Halal or Pure.
      Similarly any type of prostitution cannot be called pure or Halal.

  3. Aphrodite

    Interesting post. I also considered myself ‘halal’, or ‘clean’, whatever you call it, in that way I did maintain values in that context as you wrote in this piece. I recognize myself strongly in what you wrote here. You know, I wish I could give love. My clientèle was slightly different from yours, in that there was more of a variety, as I wasn’t that ‘high-class’ as you seem to be. But a lot of these men also wanted to feel warmth, intimacy, or at least something that approached, even thought just a little bit, ‘love’.
    It pains me to see how many men cannot find that in their socially accepted relationships, and that they supposed to be perfect, to have everything. It also pains me because I can’t possibly give genuine Love, even if I wanted to. Society’s judgment is terribly harsh for people who want to find ‘love’, or at least want to fill the emptiness inside them in non-socially accepted environment. And I’ve internalized this idea too. I can give sex, and bodily intimacy. Perhaps a nice talk….
    An example is the Client, the man I wrote about on my blog.
    For me, he will always stay a client, even though a very nice one.
    But our encounters start to suffocate me. I don’t have any problem with the sex, or with him as a person. But the more and more I hear from him, the more he contacts me, the more he says he desires me, the more he says he wants to protect me…..The more I feel suffocated. His financial remunerations kept me feel good about our rendez-vous. One, because of the financial gain. But for me, this financial remuneration was also necessary for me, to NOT feel guilty about what I did. I could keep my clear frame of reference.
    But now everything in our ‘relationship’ is blurred. I’m planning to say goodbye, or at least to take a break, to stop seeing him at least for a while. ‘Cause I can’t stand it any longer. It doesn’t feel right, anymore.

  4. escortdiary

    Thanks for the comments. And Ivan, I hope you remember your question 🙂

  5. Veronika

    glad you are back!

  6. Ivan

    Wanna hear good news?
    =) You are starting to change my friend, which i think is the 1st step to leave this world… you have a beautiful soul no doubt about it.

    Try to watch Et maintenant, on va où (where do we go now) is a lebanese film… I was watching that movie with my girl (she is Arab-Muslim and im a western-Christian) and we loved it.

    One last thing… One of those guys that you describe was me!… i was extremely shy and dumb, but thank God i learned quickly, everything in this life is a process.

    P.S. Damn i was going to ask you something but i forgot… 😦 hehe

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