Category Archives: “High-class” prostitution

Aside

Escorting: Fears, Risks, and the ‘Girlfriend Experience.’

A female reader emailed me and posed an interesting question:

“I wanted to ask if you get any anxiety about stds? I wonder if escorts can ever feel very safe about meeting so many men who may infect them with something very serious.”

To answer her question: yes, when I first started escorting I had severe anxiety over many things, such as worrying about sexually transmitted diseases. Besides worrying about diseases, I was also worried that too much sex was going to damage me internally, by making me ‘loose.’ I wrote about that previously, which can be viewed here: http://exoticescortdiary.com/2012/03/02/the-myth-of-a-loose-woman/

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When I began escorting, I had very little sexual experience, thus I was a bit fearful of what having sex with strangers might entail. In particular, I was very worried that sleeping with multiple clients was placing me at risk for sex-related diseases. But once more familiar with the industry I realized that the risk was very minimal as I used a condom for oral and sex. My introduction to escorting  began with a high-end establishment that instructed girls to be extremely safe. And by extremely safe this meant there was no such thing as the ‘GFE’ (the Girlfriend Experience). At this high-end agency, escorts risked losing their job if they were caught doing ‘extras.’ Back then, the owner of this particular establishment prided herself in having girls who avoided GFE. In other words, there would be no kissing, no oral sex without a condom, or anything that’s considered intimate-like. Nowadays, such cautious attitudes do not prevail, and virtually all agencies and brothels embrace more risky services associated with the various interpretations of GFE. Men want the closest to passionate sex as possible from an escort — which is why GFE is highly in demand. Every girl has her own interpretation of what GFE entails — it might be oral sex with or without condoms, it might be light kissing or deep french kissing, etc, etc. Yet despite some girls being a little more/or less open-minded for certain acts of foreplay, a condom is always used for sex in any situation.

I’ve maintained the same stance on being safe. However, there is a slight contradiction. As I mentioned before, I did/do cross boundaries with certain clients. Specifically, I give in to receiving pleasure occasionally. A lot of clients then and now were lovely men, who seduced me in a respectful manner. I seldom stop them if they are talented. In such instances, I lavish in my own vanity and pleasure….and I’d think to myself something highly arrogant, such as, “Ahhh, men pay me to give ME pleasure.“

 

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To my readers, I apologize for my absence. I have been writing lots as always, yet most of my writings are half-finished as I’m doing the difficult task of incorporating ideology and context to my observations. What I aim to do is give my readers a broader understanding, and a more ‘academic’ feel for the sex industry. I seek to conceptualize rather than simply sharing my personal accounts. More importantly, I want to avoid ‘essentializing’ traits of men and women, or giving the idea of ‘universals’ for human behavior. In other words, many observed traits of men and women are not innate, but rather are socially constructed. I want to focus on the social conditions that set the norms and habits in certain contexts or circumstances. A lot of what I write is very much context constrained (for the most part, I am writing about ‘high-end’ escorting in a Western social context). Although the experiences and observations I write about are common occurances/trends, they are not universals (they are not traits experienced by all prostitutes cross-culturally, nor historically). I want to make these points clear in my other posts. In any event, I also wish to make this blog a dialogue, so I welcome my readers to comment and share their own perspectives.

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January 22, 2013 · 8:19 am
July 8, 2012 · 2:15 am

Answering Your Questions #3: Client and Escort Dynamics

I’m on a minor path of self-destruction…but I’ll explain that later. For now, I’ve decided to answer some of the numerous questions or key-words that my viewer’s google to locate my blog. Yet before I begin, I want to share some metaphors from an old film about the life of high-class courtesan, “Pakeezah” (which translates to ‘pure heart’). In reference to herself, the courtesan says, “Prostitutes are dead bodies and the market is the graveyard…. I’m a dead body that’s lured by life again and again.” She then compared herself to a kite, a kite that is slowly cut away by the forces of wind…where only bits and fragments remain. The pain of her words….they touch me, intimately.

 

1. Do prostitutes like sex or money?

Money drives us to this job. As mentioned in previous posts, prostitutes should not be assumed to be a woman who loves sex. And if she does love sex, this does not imply that she loves sex with her clients. It is very rare for us to work for the purpose of sexual pleasure, yet the irony is we must ‘act’ like it’s natural to us. The lure of money is the appealing part of our work, not the sex. For many, sex is the dreadful part. Many just want to get it over with as quickly as possible. A small minority of girls can enjoy particular clients and feel pleasure, yet the again: the focus is money. I certainly have enjoyed some clients, but regardless I will not sleep/mingle with a man that I don’t love for free. The idea that prostitutes are these horny, hyper-sexual women hardly depicts the reality. Horny women exist regardless of profession.

 

2. What information should an escort obtain from her client?

Just like us, most clients want to be discreet. They might use fake names, because they are married and don’t want to risk their identity being known. Anonymity is central to the business for both escorts and clients. Asking too much personal information may defer clientele, while others are happily to disclose their life biographies. I screen my clients by judging their telephone/email etiquette — I ask them to briefly tell me about their age, nationality, what intentions they for me, etc.

 

3. Why don’t escorts like to tell their real name?

We fear of associating our identity with our profession. Why? This might impact our social mobility, social relationships (such as their family and friends finding out). Prostitution, whether legal or illegal, is still stigmatized. Society has harsh, negative consequences for women who are known to be prostitutes, so we are forced to remain secretive (otherwise we risk a lot of negative social sanctions).

 

4. How to Please a Prostitute/ How to have Good Sex with an Escort?

Well, in a bitter way, I could say: don’t annoy her. Many girls complain about clients who don’t follow our ‘rules’ (or limits), such as touching places without permission. Pleasure is a very subjective question. Giving pleasure to a ‘normal’ woman is very different than a woman who is paid for sex. A woman who gets paid for sex may not want to be ‘pleased’ by her client. Some girls strictly just want money from their client, and refuse to get sexual pleasure (and the good ones fake it). However, a small minority of us might be more accepting.

Once in a while, I encounter a client where I allow him to please me in ways that I forbid others. I permited him only because he gained my trust. I must mention that almost all clients try to give me pleasure, but they fail to do it correctly. Many men seem to think that one sexual technique can apply to all women. This is completely wrong. Any sexual experience is very unique and cannot be performed in a uniform act. Good sex depends on emotional and physical chemistry between the participants — which is rare among clients and escorts. It’s best to test areas, slowly (and with permission, of course), and then gradually proceed.

If I must advise a client on ‘how to have a better experience with an escort’ I would suggest the following techniques clients have done with me: start by giving her a relaxing massage. I recall clients who gave me a full body massage, without touching my erongenous regions right away. Not only will it relax a woman, but it can gain her trust of his touch. Let everything occur slowly, so that she can anticipated every progression of passion. The slow-pace seduction will drive her crazy, and thus (hopefully) have her wanting more. Some of my clients were totally selfless…not tending to their sexual needs, but instead focusing on making me feel relaxed (again, it’s important not to rush!). A good lover will explore what she likes, by gently trying to kiss various parts of her body. Let her guide you to what she likes. This worked with me with certain men, but again, it was all based on chemistry.

Chemistry is key, but also the mood of the hired lady is a deal-breaker. I do let sweet clients give me pleasure when I’m in the ‘mood,’ yet many times I loathe the idea. Sometimes I avoid seeing certain clients, because I know they want to spend the entire appointment in a  ”Girlfriend Experience” state. This consists a romantic ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ situation where the client wants to kiss, cuddle, give me pleasure, and have sex at the very end of the appointment. The men are very sweet, which seems ideal, but it can be exhausting acting like a ‘girlfriend’ to a man I don’t love/care about. Most of my regular clients are all pleasure giving men, which means I try to avoid seeing them when my mood is bad. It’s even more difficult to see clients when I’m in love with someone.

 

5. How to Make Clients/Men Love You (As an Escort)?

There are no uniform steps to make a client love you — it just happens naturally. From my observations, investing in ‘fake’ behavior doesn’t reap benefits, nor does it attract wholesome people. Be yourself. Love is something we cannot plan or predict. It just happens. I’ve tried experiments of altering my behavior with clients (from acting overly slutty to acting innocent). I found that being as I am works best. I’ve tried to analyze the men who love me: why do they love me? They love me because I was ‘real’ with them. The trend I noticed is men who loved me are ones I didn’t care to impress. I acted indifferent with them upon initial meetings….and genuinely had little interest in being with them. Maybe my independence is appealing for some men, …they find it challenging that I, seemingly, don’t need them.

I could advise women to be manicured, polished and glamourous to make clients love them, but I’ve seen very unpolished girls with plenty of admirers. I no longer believe that investing heavily into cosmetic/external beauty will equate to admirers (sure, exterior beauty might attract men, but that alone wont make them kneel at your feet).

 

6. What is the Difference between an Escort and High-class Escort?

There is no real difference. The only difference is the marketing and approaching various scales of clientele. One girl can be playing two roles: a regular escort, which means more clients, lower price; Or a high-class ‘exclusive’ escort, which means higher priced and limited clientele. Yet at the end of the day, a regular and exclusive escort are the same thing. There is no difference in terms of beauty or services as one may think. I’ve seen stunning women who work for two different agencies….one that’s exclusive and very expensive, and another that’s medium price range with more clientele.

 

7. Do ‘hookers’ love having sex on drugs ?

I found this question quite strange. That’s a terribly wrong analysis. Firstly, women who work while on drugs  usually hate sex more than other sex workers. They are taking drugs to cope with the fact they hate servicing men. Even high-class escorts will resort to ‘numbing’ with subsistence’s in order to make money and ignore their hatred of servicing men.

 

8. What’s it like to be an escort?

(Please check my blog later, as I am writing a post on my personal ‘lifestyle’ as an escort).

 

9. What are Reasons (for men) visiting prostitutes?

A lot of my married clients have a similar reasoning for seeing me: they say they love their wives, but their wives no longer have sex. Or men claim they like variety. In comparison, Kings in ancient Mesopotamia were monogamous in marriage, but had several concubines. Has anything really changed? Due to social expectations, many men marry one woman as a foundation for family, but does it mean they limit the number of ‘unofficial’ women for their sexual purposes? Some men openly say they desire ‘variety’ for sex, while others contend that it’s the fault of the wife. This is something I hear time and time again: Wives stop having sex, and assume that their husband should not have sex either.

There are also other married men who get lots of sex from their wives (even good sex), but they like something ‘different.’ Perhaps they need to prove to themselves that they still have the power to be appealing? Perhaps their egos need a little inflating? Many academics argue that the Western construction of ‘Masculinity’ influences men to prove their so-called ‘manhood’ by sleeping with multiple women (as if women are to be conquered). It’s not so much out of their personal desire solely, but rather societal norms for ‘being a man’ indoctrinates some men to prove themselves as ‘manly.’ So, just in case you’re one of those women who tell men to ‘act like a man’…you are influencing the discourse of men to behave in a ‘Masculine’ construct, thus aiding the gender binary construct. Constructions of identity are very powerful, as they create a so-called ideal. The current constructions of masculinity and femininity in a Western context are very harming, as they serve an elite status quo rather than a collectivist effort.

In some historical contexts, men resorted to ‘comfort women’ in scenarios where ‘proper’ women did not exist, such as situations of war and colonization (which still occurs today).

Some Single/bachelor clients have told me that sex with an escort is better and easier than trying to find it ‘for free’ at nightclubs. It’s easy for a man to pay a woman for sex rather than the effort of convincing a ‘normal woman’ to have sex with no-strings-attached.

As for another calibre of clients: some single clients are truly lonely, and have little interaction with women. They do not seek a prostitute for sex necessarily, but rather they desire intimate companionship with a woman. These are the type of men who need to be hugged, and cuddled, and in these instances I like to think of myself as a healer. Yet in reality I am not helping their situation, because they are seeking love while I am seeking money. I feel compelled to tell these lost souls that they are looking for love in the wrong places.

 

10. What are Some Tips to Stay Positive while being an Escort?

My only suggestion is to work as LESS as possible. Do not work everyday! Try to work once a week, or even less. The industry is very exhausting (emotionally), especially if that is your sole profession. I, myself, work only once a week, or sometimes even less (sometimes I don’t work for months.) Yet even working minimally I am still affected by the negatively. For years I tried  to make the job easier for myself. I told myself I wouldn’t let the work affect my emotions, or touch my soul. But it’s not easy all the time. I work less, so I can stabilize my emotions and do happy things, such as being with people I love. One can simply not block out emotions without using something, usually intoxicates, to distract them from reality. Nobody, regardless of their profession, can constantly remain happy….life is about happiness and sadness. We must experience these emotions, so we can (hopefully) reflect on our lives.

 

11. Do prostitutes remember their strangest clients ?

Yes! How can I forget the men who licked my underarms; or the man who booked me for 8 hours just to kiss my feet, hands, and bottom for the entire 8 hours without any sex; ….or the guy who used to pay to massage me the entire appointment and never even take off his clothes. Those memories still make me think, “..but why?” When a group of escorts come together we do discuss the ‘strange’ and ‘weird’ clients — which can often be quite funny. A lot of girls like to laugh about the ‘fetish’ clients they had, such as, “The foot guy,” “The bottom licker,” etc. For the most part, I don’t mind men with strange fetishes, and I try to understand their unconventional fixations. Personally, I’m quite fascinated by fetishes and have an urge to analyze men with these behaviors. After all, being too ‘vanilla’ gets quite boring.

 

12. How Much Money Do Escorts Make?

It really depends on the girl. Essentially, when one has the ability to manipulate and numb/ignore emotions the amount of money is limitless. Unfortunately, as humans it’s very difficult to ignore our emotions all the time. The two factors that lead to money are: charm (in the form of personality, beauty, and skills) and secondly, emotional sensitivity. I  consider myself quite charming in the sense I am skilled, beautiful and have a dynamic personality, yet I am very emotionally sensitive. Therefore, I don’t work often because I find too many clients stressful and overwhelming. I have never worked full-time as an escort, because I can’t handle it. I am motivated to make money for saving, paying bills, and doing some shopping, but I do not seek more. In the past, I made more money when my needs were greater, but I also spent it lavishly since my lifestyle was different than it is today.  If I wanted, I could work harder and see more clients, but a full-time lifestyle as an escort seems like suicide to me.

 

13. What if a Prostitute sees a Client in Public (outside her work) ?

This has happened to me numerous times. I used to have a huge social phobia about running into clients outside of work. I feared, because clients may approach me, or call me by my alias. And my fears were confirmed when prior clients of mine have approached me in public! I even saw a client while I was shopping with my Mother…it was extremely nerve-racking. I don’t want my clients to know the ‘real’ me that exists in day-to-day life. I just want to remain their fantasy, and nothing else. I had another client shopping with his wife and kids. He saw me looking totally different, wearing no makeup. He came back to see me, and said he was so excited to see me while he was with his wife. This is another reasons why I don’t want to meet too many new clients — I don’t want to be known. Clients represent a separate, negative world that I don’t want to mix with my personal life.

 

14. Is it Unhealthy to Sleep with an Escort? Is it safe to have sex with a Prostitute?

All escorts use PROTECTION. Some girls will do more than others when seduced by money, but for sex we all use condoms. Only an insane/desperate woman would have sex without a condom; and equally only an insane man would sleep with an escort without a condom. It’s absolutely unheard of high-class escorts having unprotected sex with their clients. Many of us are extremely health conscious. However, risks of STI’s can be contracted from non-penetrative acts as well.

The women who take more risks are doing it to meet the demands of clients — because for many clients oral-sex with condoms and no kissing is quite boring. Sadly, some escorts perform the highly sought ‘bare-back blow-job’ (fellatio without a condom) to get more clients. What these women don’t realize is that they are getting short term gain (money) for long-term risk (diseases). As for the bulk of escorts, we take minimal risks: we use a condom for sex and oral sex. Therefore, it is no more/less unhealthy to sleep with an escort if she uses protection during all sex acts.

Given there is minimal skin-to-skin contact, sleeping with a high-class escort can be a bit “unfulfilling” from a client’s perspective. I use the word “unfulfilling” because sex with a prostitute is often phyisical without true intimacy. Amazing sex is based on mind and body stimulation. Thus, sex between a client/prostitute lacks the essential stimulation of the mind. After all, how exhilarating and delicious can sex be without deep kissing, touching, sucking, and tasting ?  Those ‘delicious’ acts are risky with clients, yet many clients demand this. They want the closest to ‘real’ sex as possible. They want their escort to act like their girlfriend: they want to eat her pussy, kiss her lips, and feel her mouth over his manhood. There is tremendous pressure for escorts to go beyond safe limits to make her clients happy. Many clients prefer cheaper women, because it is assumed that cheaper women do ‘more’ for ‘less’ (thus, the risk is increased). Yet there are also very high priced escorts who ‘do it all’ to a more limited clientele. This places tremendous pressure on women in the industry: how can a woman maintain her ‘dignity’ and be successful?

 

15: Do prostitutes have rules / restrictions?

Yes, clients play by our rules, not theirs. Yet there is an irony to that statement. Most escorts promote themselves as women who “Cater to the Clients Needs,” but in reality we set the boundaries and limits. Every girl is unique to what she offers in terms of her services. We all offer sex, but we do it in different ways. For instance, limits/restrictions might include: no kissing or light kissing only, clients can release multiple times or maybe only once, no oral sex without a condom, no receiving of oral sex, no touching between her legs, etc. My restrictions are that everything is ‘covered,’ which means I take no risks. I do not kiss clients, but I must admit that I’ve given up many limitations with the occasional handsome, delicious client. For instance, when I met the Sheik, as a client, we ended up kissing passionately — of course, our chemistry was rare and intense.

As mention, a majority of clients demand riskier services (oral sex without protection, ‘greek,’ etc), so unfortunately a lot of escorts will jeopardize their health to make more money. I feel disgusted when a prospective client, who’s never met me yet, will ask if perform ‘natural French’ which is a oral sex without a condom. How can he take such a risk with a woman whose history is unknown? Likewise, most clients request to service me between my legs with their mouths, which seems flattering, but I can’t help but wonder: don’t clients think of how many other men have touched my body?  How can he be sure that I am ‘clean?’ What I realized is that many men get aroused by the idea of a ‘dirty’ woman. By no means am I ‘dirty,’ but I have slept with countless men….and that fact alone is a fantasy for some men.

Sex workers might advertise ‘passionate’ services or ‘porn-star’ services to attract a more clientele, but the reality is we cannot perform uniform techniques with every single client we encounter. Human sexuality is not uniform, and attempting uniformity is a bad way at approaching others. Sure, we have restrictions, but they are deeply influenced by the chemistry we develop with clients. To expect a sex worker to give a stellar performance with every client is a very unrealistic, dehumanizing expectation.

Finally, a rare breed of clients have their own terms in addition to hers. For instance, a rare category of clients do not seek sexual intercourse with escorts — instead they may just seek oral or hand release, or perhaps they just want to play with themselves in the company of a beautiful woman. There may be norms and patterns in sexual behaviour, but every experience is still unique.

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June 15, 2012 · 1:57 am

Prostitute and Whore — 2 Terms, 2 Different Meanings

I have a problem with the terms associated with a prostitute: Bitch and whore. Sure, some prostitutes possess those qualities, but so can any woman. Essentially, a prostitute and whore are two different things, but are often confused as the same thing, with the same meaning.

In a global modern context, a woman who sleeps around with men is known in derogatory terms as a ‘bitch’ or ‘whore.’ A whore can be further subdivided into various interpretations and meanings. It can apply to a woman who manipulates men into giving her money – perhaps also termed a ‘gold digger.’ It can imply that a woman is hyper-sexual, and enjoys sex. It can also imply a woman who lies and cheats her lovers/friends by scamming them. The term ‘bitch’ can also be applied to women with such traits. Somehow, these terms are also attributed to a prostitute. But there is a BIG difference between a whore and a prostitute. Although some prostitutes act like whores, one should not mistake all women who sell their bodies for being hyper-sexual, promiscuous, manipulative or scandalous.

It’s not obvious: Most prostitutes have sex for money – not pleasure or fun. Many of us are not gold-diggers, nor do we manipulate men into taking their money. If a prostitute was to engage in sex for fun and manipulate men into giving her money (like a sugar daddie) then she placed herself in another category: a whore. There are prostitutes who act like ‘bitches’ and ‘whores’ despite selling themselves for money. They may act as gold-diggers on the side, and try to pretend to love older rich men for their money, but those traits are not applied to a real prostitute in essence.

Aside from having sex for money, am I also a whore? For free, no. With clients, sometimes. However, I am only a whore in the context that I enjoy sex often, but only with the men I love (and occasionally in fantasies). A whore, in terms of enjoying sex, is something I don’t condemn, so long its safe and doesn’t hurt others. But the notion of manipulation and deceiving others are acts I don’t accept. I do not manipulate or deceive my lovers in the other associations with ‘whore.’ Indeed there are many prostitutes, like myself, who do not have sex with men for ‘fun and flings.’ My clients who give me money are fully aware, just as I am, that it’s an exchange only. And the men I do love…? They are aware of my intentions: I do not use them.

In my view, despite the view of society, a prostitute is much more dignified than a gold digger. A gold digger searches around for rich wealthy men, promising them love and affection, hoping to get hands on their wealth in an indirect manner. However, one must not judge even a gold digger — a lot of these girls start this type of lifestyle from a history of neglect.

A prostitute, on the other hand, is direct, straight-forward: I will give you my body in exchange for money.

I have never pretended to love any man for his money, and I never will. As mentioned, I often stop seeing clients when they fall in love with me, because it makes me uncomfortable taking their money when they love me and I don’t love them at all. One incident overseas made me more strict about my ‘strictly business’ relationship with clients, but I will save that experience for another post. Finally, it may seem that my lovers serves as my ‘sugar-daddies’, but thats not the case at all. My lovers do spoil me, but it’s reciprocal as I enjoy their company and enjoy them as a people. Reciprocity is very important for loving, meaningful relationships.

A woman once advised me, regarding my relationship with my client/lover: “Use him for his money. He’s going to leave you, so take all his money. Don’t be stupid…try to take money from him at every chance!” I disregarded her advice, because I feel grateful and content for his generosity already. I don’t seek to exploit him. This is the critical difference between that woman’s mentality and mine: I will not lower my dignity to exploit someone I love, or anyone for the record. I am comfortable with the amount he gives me, and if I seek more…..I know he will give it to me. However, I would not beg or manipulate him to get it. My pride is held in my self-reliance.

The problem with assuming that these terms are the same is when we judge others. Not all women who love sex are prostitutes. Not all prostitutes are promiscuous. And not all scandalous, manipulative women are prostitutes. And most importantly, a woman who loves sex is not necessarily a bad person. Ideas of sexuality that exist in Modern times were socially constructed, and a lot of the ‘prudish’ ideas stem from Victorian Era repressive morality.

Although not my usual type of music, the rap song, “You Wonder Why They Call you Bitch,” by Tupac gives an excellent, although heavily slanged, description of a promiscuous woman, with no self-respect, who sells and ends up destroying herself with her scandalous behaviour.

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May 22, 2012 · 5:13 pm

Social Stigma makes Prostitutes Vulnerable – Dangerous Encounters

Recently I had my first bad experience with a client. In my half-dozen years in the industry, I have never (thankfully) had a bad or scary experience until now. Again , my ego made me feel I was beyond ‘bad’ clients.  My recent experience was with a client I trusted….one who admired me, whom I felt worshiped me. But a sex worker must never be naive and too trusting.

A few weeks ago, I feared for my safety. I was in a situation where I felt extremely uncomfortable, and I had lost control of the situation. I was with a regular client of mine, who previously was tolerable and pleasant. However, this time, he was extremely intoxicated — in other words, sloppy drunk. I had only brought two condoms, which he pulled off. Without condoms, I told him politely that we can’t have sex, but he insisted we have sex. He sensed my fear, and he must have sensed that I was ready to leave the hotel. He had traveled far from out of the country to see me specifically, so I understand why he felt upset that I was leaving.  However, his actions were not acceptable. When I got up to leave the bed, he grabbed me aggressively. I stood up, and he followed. He tried to pull my body close to his body, so he could penetrate me. Thankfully, he didn’t, but I knew he wasn’t going to let me leave without getting what he wanted. I grabbed my purse and ran to toilet and locked the door. I desperately wanted to leave the hotel room, but I feared to open the door. I feared he would easily grab me, and rape me. The alcohol had totally changed his behaviour, and he was no longer the funny client I had once known. He was not directly rude to me, but the problem was the alcohol had made him lose any sense of respect. While locked inside, I called the hotel reception and asked them to come to the suite. By this time, I was panicking, crying and shaking. The hotel reception came, and I ran out of the room crying. Although nothing severe happened, the fear alone made me break down. I am a strong woman, but physically I am defenceless to man.

This experience reminded me of other bad stories I’ve heard from other escorts. Escorts, regardless of their status on the prostitution hierarchy, are sometimes placed in risky situations with their clients. I remember working at a high-class establishment overseas where there was this manipulative client. He preyed on innocent-looking girls. I was one of them, but luckily my ‘innocent’ look is a farce. He was well-dressed, polite and pleasant initially, but during the booking he tried to pull off the condom before sex. To me, he said it was an accident. Luckily, I caught him before he had the chance to violate me. Unfortunately, other escort girls I knew were not so lucky. One girl saw him on her first day in the industry. He pulled off the condom without her knowledge, and ejaculated inside of her. To add to the wound, he pretended it was an accident and blamed her. After a while, the girls all told their experiences to each other, and we realized this man was intentionally trying to take off the condom. Not only that, the type of girls he chose were all very similar: clean, educated, innocent and ‘good’ girl types. This type of man is a predator, yet none of  us girls did anything. We told the owners of the establishment, and they supposedly banned him. But what does banning him do? He can easily go to another establishment or call any agency, and continue violating women. Why didn’t we call the police and have him arrested?

The worst part is that prostitutes are not only physically defenceless, but we are also legally helpless when it comes to getting justice. The end result is the same: Prostitutes do not get justice when they are violated by clients. We do not call the police or report the negative incidents. Why? We fear of associating our legal name with the sex industry. I don’t want any association of my name to prostitution, because my family can find out, I will be stigmatized, etc. Legally, prostitutes do have rights and can get justice in Western countries. But the problem is, the social stigma prevents us from doing so. It would be ideal if we could report incidences without revealing our identity, but we cannot. If something happens to me, will I go to the police? In a severe case, yes, but doing so means I have to ‘out’ myself. Being ‘Out’ in sex-worker slang means to publicly label oneself as a sex worker. For many escorts, it is our biggest fear if others find out that we sell our bodies. Personally, I worry only because society stigmatize sex workers. For instance, if I ever wanted to apply for a government job in the future,….my chances are effected if my name is associated with illegal work as a prostitute.

The stigmas we face as sex workers adds to our stress.

We are living multiple lives and multiple identities. An escorts life is full of lies, not by choice but by circumstance. These web of lies get exhausting and sometimes I’d rather just retreat from the world than make up stories to explain where the money came from. I don’t want to lie to my family, my lovers or my friends, but do I really have an alternative? Again, I have the agency to make choices in my life……but these choices are deeply influenced by the circumstances that follow.

So what’s the solution? Maybe I will have to ‘out’ myself one day if that means protecting myself and others? Experiences like these make me and other sex workers hardened. Many escorts I met are very bitter towards their clients, because they fear to trust anyone. I don’t blame them, especially since they were violated by clients they initially trusted. Of course, not all clients are this way at all, but how do we decide who’s good and who’s not? There are good and bad in all people. Now, my guard is up, but I am not jaded. Thankfully, I can resort the safe arms of my Sheik, my protector.

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February 13, 2012 · 9:49 pm

Answering Your Questions #2: Why do women become prostitutes? Do Saudi men see Prostitutes?

One thing I want to note before I answer questions is that my view is biased. Never assume my opinion, or anyone’s opinion, is the absolute fact. I am a student, so I write articles often where my opinion has no credibility unless proven by empirical, extensive evidence. Opinions are just opinions, and they are often one’s personal judgement that is influenced by their experiences and values. I suggest that people always remain skeptical, because my experience is very subjective.

Your Question: Why do women become escorts? Or, what factors make women become prostitutes?

Answer: From my observations, women who become prostitutes were placed in a situation where they needed money, and perhaps fast money. So consequently, most escorts originate from low-socioeconomic backgrounds. However, a new minority of high-class prostitutes are coming from stable-income families. They sell themselves not because they are desperate for cash, but rather they want to be part of the upper-crest of society. The money they make from selling their bodies allows these materialistic prostitutes to buy the lifestyle associated with the high-class. Again, the values promoted by Western culture disgust me, because they poisoned me too.

Many women I have encountered in the sex industry have been neglected in some form. When I meet with another prostitute I like to ask about her origins. I have encountered women who seemed normal, but later I found out that they were sexually abused. Sexual abuse leads to mistrust, and many escorts have a deep mistrust in men. It is ironic that these women, despite their mistrust in men, end up selling themselves to men. Often, they come from a broken home, and were forced to take care of themselves from a young age. The foundation of family was absent for them, which left them alone to discovered how to survive. Society can be quite cruel to lost souls, or those without any familial support. Often lost souls are exploited by others. For instance, young boys without any direction are susceptible to gang involvement, and young women without direction are vulnerable to prostitution and sexual exploitation. Although I was never abused, I feel I was a lost soul too. I had a poor sense of direction, so I fell easily into things that came my way. Thankfully, I had enough sense to correlate that selling myself is harming me despite raising my standard of living.

As mentioned in my blog, I came from a middle-class family. It would seem that I had no valid reason to become a prostitute. However, my family separated in my teens, and as a result my Mother, siblings and I became poor. Of course, we always had enough to eat and by no means were we living in poverty — but we were close. Because I had previously lived in relative luxury being poor was not an easy transition. I noticed that all my peers and friends were pampered while I had nothing. My Mother tried her best to keep us happy by sacrificing her own happiness. I admire her for doing that.

Then the idea of prostitution was introduced to me. I tried it once, and my first client was very sweet, respectable, and generous. What boggled my mind is this stranger, my first client, was a more pleasant experience than my previous sexual experience (losing my virginity). But best of all, I had made a lot of money from that one hour encounter. That money boosted my self-esteem, and I was able to buy things that I needed. In theory, everything seemed good…but again, years later I now realize the damage I did.

Firstly, what conditioned me to believe that my self-worth could be improved with money? The answer is Western society. This society values money, power and social status/prestige. When I was younger I was not aware of the pressures that made me value money. I was so blinded, because I thought money would solve my problems, but actually it made me more individualistic, materialistic, and emotionally empty. Chasing money made me distance myself from family too. I chased money because it enhanced my social status, but at the same time I neglected love and relationships with good people. People who don’t have money in Western societies are at a huge disadvantage, because this society does not CARE for those with less. Why is it people who are poor in developing countries are happier than the poor in the West? The poor in developing countries have family and community, and their kinship societies protect individuals. I had no protection, because in this individualist West I had to fend for myself.

Your Question: Do Saudi men go to Prostitutes?

Yes, some Saudi men visit prostitutes. But so do some men from all cultural backgrounds. However, my observations assert that certain cultures frequent with prostitutes more than others, but this depends on the society and circumstances of its individuals. Men do not visit prostitutes for the same reasons, so it’s hard to lump all clients into one category (there  are common occurrences, yet also many exceptions). Not all patrons of prostitutes are looking for a “quickie”, and equally not all clients are looking for companionship and affection. Thus, men have various and complex reasons for visiting prostitutes.

I could make generalizations, but, again, my clients see me for their unique reasons and may see other women for other reasons. For instance, a client may visit me because I relate to him on an intellectual basis, but he also visits another escort who satisfies his raw desire for sex only. Vice versa; Another client may see me for solely sexual pleasure, while he has another woman, older, who satisfies his need for a mature woman.

My clients come from an array of backgrounds and cultures. White (European, American, Australian, Russian), East Asian (Chinese, Japanese, Korean), South Asian (Indian, Pakistani), West Asian (Arab , Iranian), South American, etc. However, I have never seen a notably amount of African patrons of prostitutes in general. In fact the only Black clients I have had, which are few, have been Saudis of Black origin. It’s quite interesting how certain cultures are not frequent patrons of prostitutes, so it would interesting to study the obvious question: why? Of course, clientele is also oriented towards the demographics of a given city. In my vicinity, White men seem to be the main patrons, followed by East Asians, Indians, and Arabs.

Saudi students are not continuous patrons of prostitutes. My theory is that Saudi students will try the services of a sex worker when they first arrive in their country of studies. This is because they have been deprived of expressing their sexuality. At first, visiting a prostitute will seem appealing. Initially, the prostitute is an outlet for their deprived sexual desires, and a prostitute is more accessible and convenient than trying to find sex elsewhere (nightclubs, bars, etc). However, over time, most Saudi students will not find casual sex appealing or forfiling. Instead, they will yearn for a girlfriend-like relationship where they can receive affection and care from a woman, rather than a business-transaction from a prostitute. Thus, my theory is most Saudi students will seize to visit prostitutes, unless they are extremely lonely and not able to connect with women in normal settings. Most Saudi students don’t like the idea of seeing prostitutes (as they want something more meaningful), but sometimes when its the only option for affection it becomes hard to resist. A Saudi student would choose a meaningful relationship with a woman over a night of pleasurable sex without meaning (unless of course, they , in my case, develop a relationship with a prostitute).

In my case, I have become the caregiver to some Saudi students. They resort to me when they are in need of affection, and sometimes chemistry arises. Often, as I’ve said before, sex is not the prime objective of these Saudi patrons. One client invited me to his home so he could prepare me a feast of Saudi dishes, kabsa. He was extremely respectful and didn’t try to ravage me, but rather was happy to have me as company.  And my Sheik, technically still my client, evolved to be my partner and lover. He found affection in me, and grew attached to me despite my taboo profession. Like others, he said he see’s me not for my profession, but for who I am. While this sounds romantic …again, it’s a temporary romance with the Saudis.

My theory for Saudi students also applies to Kuwaiti and Emirati international students, because they share a similar experience and have been prior patrons of mine too. This theory does not apply to older Saudi men, because they are usually married, and thus their reasonings for visiting prostitutes are different than the students. I have less experience with older (over 35) Saudi men because they are a rarity in my city. The few older Saudi clients I did have were visiting, and were also married. I suppose working in Bahrain or the Gulf would give me a totally new experience of Saudi patrons, as I assume they will be mostly older men.

An interesting article was written, called “Arab’s Got Prostitution,” which discusses the wide-spread use of prostitutes among Khaleeji men. The article has valid points, however I don’t feel it is fair to demonize all Khaleeji clients of prostitutes. Like all clients, there are ones with good and bad intentions, as well clients have numerous reasons for resorting to sex workers.

It is important to note that the prostitution phenomenon the Middle East is the outcome of many factors: Modernization, Neo-Liberalism, Imperialism, Globalization, War, etc.

Many social and cultural factors have lead Saudi men being popular patrons of prostitutes. For instance, Saudi men are now marrying much later compared to the past, due to spending their early 20′s getting an education, trying to find a good job. Dowry is also a deterrent for early marriage. Furthermore, Saudi cultural norms forbid dating and interacting with non-related women. It is unrealistic to expect young Saudi men to just refrain from sexual activities. The outcome of numerous factors certainly correlates to bisexual and homosexual practices in both Saudi men and women, and also to men resorting to prostitutes in neighbouring Bahrain or other countries. What is tragic is when these men show no sense of responsibility to these women, conditioning men to think it’s okay to ‘use a woman’ with no emotional attachment. Again, not all clients have this ‘neglecting’ intention, but sadly many do. Such neglecting behavior negates the essence of Islam, which Islam emphasizes social justice for people.

Your Question: Why do some men prefer prostitutes for sex?

This is a subjective question. But there is something I think about often: many prostitutes are assertive women. They have their own money and they are independent. Many do NOT cling to men, because men are multiple for a prostitute. It is not a big deal if a prostitute is unsatisfied with one man, because there are plenty of men who can replace him. Some prostitutes develop confidence over time in her sexuality because of her experience.

“Normal” women (women who don’t sell their bodies) make is this assumption: pleasing the man will win his heart (it wont!). I have not read that popular book, “Why Men Love Bitches” yet, but the title alone is enough to support my argument. Men need challenge, men need mystery….and men need a woman to be assertive!  A woman can still be sexually submissive and be assertive too; this does not mean she has to be dominant in sex per say.  Also, the importance of personality is so crucial, and a lot of women forget about their own needs and desires. Investing all your time in your appearance might attract men, but it won’t keep them. A woman who thinks she can please a man by giving him, for example, oral sex everyday isn’t very challenging either. What about a woman’s pleasure? Why are most ‘normal’ women not assertive about their own sexual needs? Perhaps because ‘normal’ women are still timid about sex. This is what differs between prostitutes and ‘normal’ women; prostitutes are comfortable with their sexual desires. For instance, I am quite demanding in my personal sex life. I am not dominant in sex, but surely I cannot be with a man who doesn’t know how to give me amazing orgasms. If he can’t please me, he better learn or he will lose me. I only gained this confidence from my experience in the sex industry. I’d much rather be alone than be with a man who treats me less then what I expect. Without these experiences, I probably would be too timid to demand sexual pleasure.

In a vain sense, I feel the men in my life serve me. Sure, I am a ‘service provider,’ but essentially men feel a bit intimidated by me. They know I am sexually experienced, so they know that pleasing me is not an easy task. I pose a challenge to my lovers. The irony is I can be quite insecure. But with men, initially, I would never dare to expose my insecurities.

Your Question: Do Prostitutes Enjoy Sex with Clients?

This really depends on the individual (the sex worker). Some women can get aroused by certain clients, and other women are absolutely repulsed by clients trying to give them pleasure.  One woman I met, who told me she was molested as a child, hated sex with clients, and so her service was very ‘restricted.’ She said she could never kiss a client, or allow a client to kiss her body, because the idea sickened her. Clients will argue that this type of woman should NOT be a prostitute, but that’s too simple to say. This woman shouldn’t be selling herself, but again many of these women do not have a choice. They are facing some sort of addiction, and selling themselves is the only method that works for them. I feel deeply sorry for these women, because they despise selling themselves, and yet society has made no alternatives for them.

Personally, I have ‘enjoyed’ some men as clients, but it is not enjoying the sex part with them. I say ‘enjoyed’ because sex with a client cannot compare to having sex with someone I love. I can even orgasm with clients who push the right buttons, but there is no emotion for me. I have zero feelings for clients. What I enjoy is a client who is easy going and not demanding. Essentially, a client is enjoyable when I feel totally relaxed. In any event I cannot show a client my displeasure; I, a prostitute, must act as if pleasure was in my nature.

However, when I am working and not in a relationship (single) I find I ‘enjoy’ clients more. They are my only source for sex when I am single, because I avoid casual sex. But when I am in love with someone the idea of a client devouring my body is harder for me to digest (but again, I do not show it). It’s really confusing: I can still have an orgasm, yet feel nothing for my client. For instance, I had a client not too long ago who was an absolute gentleman. He was generous, extremely respectful, and he actually made me orgasm twice. Did I enjoy it? Well, not really. He had amazing sexual skills and was warm and intellectual, but of course I am not in love with him at all. I cannot genuinely enjoy a mans touch unless I love him.

Now, if a sex worker started to develop feelings for her client, then of course she will enjoy his touch.  After all, my ex-fiance was my client. Instantly we had chemistry upon meeting, so I did enjoy his touch.

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February 3, 2012 · 3:39 am

Addressing Your Questions – About Escorts, Prostitutes, & Courtesans

A lot of people are curious about the sex industry, which is reflected in the stats of this site. There are numerous phrases people search for in google to find this website. Many of those phrases are asking a question that is related to escorting, prostitution, courtesans, mistresses, relationships with clients, etc. So, I thought I would answer some of the questions that spark curiosity to my readers. Also, if there is a question that you may have regarding any aspect of the sex industry in any context, please let me know. Please remember that my perspectives can be subjective and in some cases biased.

Your Question: How do I tell people that I am an escort/sex worker?

Telling people you are prostitute is a very personal issue. Even if a prostitute feels no shame in her profession, she should keep it among intimate friends only. Remember, this is an aspect of society that many people can never understand or accept. Be prepared to face social castigation (rejection). Having said that, such a secret is difficult to keep inside, because it’s a secret that has shaped sex workers. Prostitution relates to sex, and sex is that happens behind close doors. Sex is also unique to each individual encounter and differs with each person, and thus it’s not easily understood in the same manner by all. If an escort feels compelled to tell someone, then she must tell it to someone who makes her feel safe, a person she ultimately trusts.

Your Question: How do escorts lure men to them? Or in other words, how do escorts attract clients?

Well, many prostitutes do not physically go out and lure men from the streets, unless we are actually working on the street (which is not associated with ‘high-end’ escorting). Escorts do not lure men per say. The transaction requires participants from both sides. Essentially, some men are looking for sex and/or companionship and the escorts are offering their services. In modern settings, escorts place advertisements either online or in newspapers, and clients find these websites where escorts offer their services. Call-girl agencies typically advertise online and in newspapers too.

I have never gone out to find clients in public settings. I advertise and let the men come to me. They view my website and photo’s and make the choice to arrange a booking with me. For men, seeing an escort is a bit of gamble, because clients cannot be sure of what to expect from the escort. The same can be said for escorts, as escorts do not know what to expect from their clients (generally, the hope is clients will be handsome, polite, generous and relatively easily to please).

I should also address what makes men seek escorts in the first place. In other words, what do men seek in escorts instead of their own wives or other non-prostitute women? Non-sex workers probably feel that men are attracted to an escorts immense beauty and sex appeal. But I must tell you that this is a myth; escorts are no different than other women. We are no more exceptional because we are ‘wanted’ by some men. I used ‘wanted’ in quotations because escorts are not truly wanted. Escorts are wanted for a shallow purpose (sex without commitment) most of the time. There are always exceptions to the rule, but in general a prostitute is only wanted for the purpose of sexual fulfillment without emotional acknowledgement.

In Western society, there is a growing importance for sex appeal. Women feel it is important to be sexually desirable to men all the time. This is a very unfortunate part of society, because women are objectifying themselves further by placing their self-worth on their sex appeal. I am guilty of this too. But I must say sex appeal is not a worthy quality at all. Being wanted for shallow reasons never made me genuinely happy.

In the West, normal women are trying to be the ‘ideal’ woman that is promoted by society. But what these women fail to realize is that there is NO ideal woman. For instance, women see how many men are avid porn watchers, so these women try to imitate prostitutes by getting plastic surgeries and dressing provocatively. Meanwhile, such women don’t want their brains to be neglected, so they get educated. The result is ‘educated’ women who uses their sex-appeal to feel powerful, which is a contradiction (they have objectified themselves and made themselves further subordinate to men). The reality is that these women have given away their power by trying to be the wife, the sex object, and the intellectual.

Your Question: How to Be an Upper Class Escort?

There are various factors, and having just one is usually not enough to become successful. Beauty alone may get clients for one visit, but beauty alone will not keep a steady clientele. Having said that, beauty is also in the eye of the beholder. A woman does not have to be exceptionally beautiful to be a successful prostitute, but it’s essential to be physically well-groomed, decently attired, polished, and healthy. The most important aspect is your personality with clients. Typically, clients like women who are nice, affectionate and accommodating. However, personality is also subjective, so I cannot suggest specific traits that clients want.

Again, if one is thinking to become an escort, they have to realize that it is a life-changing experience. An escort may gain in terms of money, but she loses in other ways in the process. Some escorts find the lifestyle easy, while others find it to be a severe addiction that has ruined many aspects of their personal happiness. From my observations, the only escorts that don’t seem to struggle emotionally are ones who numb their emotions with drugs, relaxers, and the various intoxicants.

Your Question: How to Leave the Industry? How to Stop Escorting?

I have a post regarding my thoughts on leaving the industry. My view is rather negative and depressing, because I feel most women remain in the industry. Only in very rare cases I have seen a girl leave the industry for good. But as I mention in that post, prostitutes seem to only leave the industry when they get involved in a relationship, and unfortunately they go right back to the industry when the relationship fails.

I should try to be more optimistic. There has to be a way to leave the sex industry. I want to leave eventually, but right now my addiction to the money is something I cannot combat. Again, my mind is been poisoned with the fact: I can make a lot of money in one hour that no other job can provide me. Even when I graduate from University, I can still make more income working in the sex industry regardless of finding a qualified ‘normal’ job.

The industry is an addiction. The first step is for an escort to understand herself. She needs to assess why she got in the industry and the reasons she needed the money. The second step is to seek counseling, preferably counseling from an addiction counselor or if lucky a counselor who is familiar with the sex industry. Leaving the industry will require immense sacrifice. It means getting a ‘normal’ job to survive, and training oneself to work long hours on a schedule.

A materialistic prostitute (a woman selling herself to gain social/superficial prestige –like I started out to be) will find it the most difficult to leave the industry. She is not only facing addiction to the money, but she is also deeply insecure. She has based her entire self-worth on the presence of luxury and wealth. This is my problem. I have to accept simplicity before I can give up this work. I have to accept that shallow perceptions of life are not important, and while this seems like an easy concept to accept it’s actually not.

Your Question: I am in love with a prostitute/ escort. Will our relationship be successful?

First, you need to assess what sort of prostitute she is. Ask: Why is she selling herself, and more importantly what factors lead her into selling herself to men? What sort of values does this woman have? A man who is in love with a prostitute must realize that a prostitute does not have the same experiences as a ‘normal’ woman. Therefore, a prostitute will be deeply shaped by her unique experiences, experiences that ‘normal’ women do not encounter. The experiences faced by prostitutes affect their emotions, and mostly in a negative way. For instance, a prostitute who sells herself to gain higher status (live in comfort/luxury) is likely to have a major ego followed by major insecurities. Insecurities do great damage to relationships, which I have experienced. Often, my insecurities caused me to lash out on my partners. I could not bare the idea of being wanted by only one man, when previously I (or my ego) was accustomed to ‘praise’ and ‘admiration’ by numerous men.

My estimate is that a relationship with a prostitute can be successful if she doesn’t possess selfish and egotistic traits. The escort/friend of mine who did get married is very simplistic and humble. She gave up her luxurious, self-made lifestyle to have a simple life with the man she loved, now her husband. She valued loved over financial gain.

Often, I wish my ex-fiance could have understood me better. But its not his fault. Neither of us knew I had serious emotional issues until the fighting/arguments began. Although I was a prostitute, I considered myself ‘normal’ up until being serious with my ex; it made me realize that my emotions are quite damaged. But my ex also thought I was a just like other women because I didn’t look or act like a ‘typical’ prostitute (typical in the context of being vulgar, uneducated). He had expectations of me that were expected of women who don’t sell themselves, but he was not prepared for my ‘baggage.’ Love is strange, and blinding, because despite the constraints I caused our relationship my ex didn’t give up. Instead, I gave up, because I knew I was only capable of hurting him. I could not promise him anything, because I was too much of a wreck.

Your Question: Do Escorts Fall in Love with Clients?

Yes, it happens. But what I mentioned above illustrates that escort-client relationships are tricky. They are often unsuccessful as either the client cannot commit or the escort cannot compromise her work. So far, I have been in two serious relationships (one currently on-going) with men who originated as my clients. I have also been in love with an additional young man, Khalid, who’s a client, but money is what keep us from being in a serious relationship. Khalid doesnt have the means to give me enough financial support, therefore I refuse to commit myself to him. Instead, the two men who got me, my ex and the Sheik, helped me lovingly and generously. My ex provided for me financially, and so does my current partner. That aspect alone is a deal-breaker whether I like to admit or not. I could never be with a man who doesn’t ‘spoil’ me, because my addiction and ego is too strong (not something I am proud about). My poisoned theory is: why be with a man who doesn’t spoil me when there are many of other men willing to spoil me?

Your Question: Why does society say it’s wrong to be a prostitute?

Imagine you are a pompous ruler. You have millions of people in your kingdom, and those people need to be mobilized and controlled. How to control these masses of people? Firstly, you need to assert your dominance. You need to instil fear into the minds of those millions of people, because fear is a great form of control. Thus, you create an organization, or religion, that provides structure for those millions of people. In this structure, you create strict rules that dictate what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Of course, you want your followers (the masses) to be loyal and embrace your society/kingdom, so you have to make them believe the rules (of the organization) are ‘good’ and ‘beneficial.’ Now, if you are male, you don’t want a bunch of women running around and having the freedom to choose who they sleep with. After all, in this mentality, women are the producers of future generations. Then, you control the sexuality of women, and by doing that you can control the future children being born into your kingdom. You tell the people that a ‘good’ woman is one who is chaste, modest and only has sex when it’s lawful to do so (in a marriage contract). A woman who has sex for pleasure is totally wrong and bad! Thus, if you are woman who has ‘loose’ morals you are a terrible person, and should be condemned by society. Social exclusion/condemnation is a way of preventing others from defying the norms that benefit your kingdom.

The point in my little story above is to illustrate that prostitution is unacceptable in society because it clashes with the values of the dominant class. Women’s bodies are still viewed as the essential component to nation building, so most rulers feel the need to regulate sexuality. This may not be the case in modern societies today (where sexuality is more open and accepted), but prostitution as being ‘the great social evil’ stemmed from historical regulations on women’s bodies.

Your Question: Why NOT to become a prostitute / call girl / girl ?

Well, my whole blog gives endless indirect reasons why not to become a prostitute. It should be quite apparent that I’m not entirely content with the situation I’ve chosen. The main reasons not to join the sex industry are the added loneliness, the emptiness, the addiction, the emotions, the loss of touch from reality, the distrust from men, the insecurities, the false facades, the rejection, the values associated with money, the prospect of never trusting men, the false feeling of being loved and wanted, loss of family/friends and the separation from simplicity (natural happiness).

Your Question: How does an escort make money when she has her period (menstruating) ?

Good question. I had the same question when I first joined the sex industry. I had absolutely no idea what the answer would be. I was quite shocked when the madam told me, “Not working because of your period is NOT an excuse!” I was shocked to learn that almost all prostitutes work during their menses. I learned that many had their own methods to deal with the blood. Some women used contraceptives which made their menses disappear altogether. Another technique was used when the period was in its lighter stages in which a red colored condom is used to disguise any droplets of blood. The other more common method was using a sponge (a make-up/ or sea-sponge) that is inserted inside the vagina before seeing a client. The sponge is not felt during sex and it captures the blood thus making the sex blood-free.

Your Question: Is non-sexual escorting classified as ‘prostitution?’

This question is regarding the concept of a ‘social escort,’ which is typically a woman who is paid to accompany men for social events, such as dinners, outings, etc. I have yet to meet a ‘social escort’ who strictly does not have sex with her client afterwards. Indeed there are many clients who seek companionship over sexual intercourse. There other many other sexual acts besides penetration that some men seek. A small minority of clients don’t even request for sex, but rather they like to spend the time talking, or satisfying their fetishes with the woman. Regardless, most men need some form of release. I have only encountered a handful of men who didn’t want any release at all (meaning these men didn’t want to ejaculate/come). It is a rarity. Never the less, my theory is a ‘social-only’ escort cannot truly exist, because if the man paying for her company likes her he will offer more money to get sexual services. The money is too tempting for such a woman to say no. It would SEEM ideal to be a ‘social’ escort in theory in which a woman is paid to just hang out with men. Yet in reality mingling with men in public is far more time consuming, less financially rewarding, and much more ‘work’ compared with having sex with a client.

A social-only escort could not charge the rates of a prostitute. For instance, there are some women who provide services other than actual sex. These women refer to their services as ‘sensual massage,’ in which they provide a nude massage complete with hand-release, and maybe oral sex. Since these sensual masseuses do not have sex, they also cannot charge the rate of a ‘full-service’ prostitute. Rate is generally determined by the amount of service provided.

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January 9, 2012 · 3:48 am

Various Types and Characteristics of Prostitutes/Escorts

Over the years, I have encountered various types of escorts/call girls/prostitutes. Some fit the stereotype (being from broken homes, had been sexually abused), while others do not fit it all. Most of the women, or I would like to say all (including myself), have some sort of emotional problem (then again, who doesn’t?). In my case, I had depression. Now, however, I realize my depression was due to low self-esteem and fear of rejection, and I made it worse by isolating myself from others. Prostitution was a source of income that allowed me to feel good about myself, but later I realized it made my self-esteem worse because I was (and continue to be) mainly praised soley for my sex appeal.

In the beginning, I sold myself to gain social prestige. As mentioned in previous posts, I grew up in a middle- to upper class neighbourhood. However, in my late teens my family fragmented, and our socio-economic status became poor. I could not cope with being poor, because meanwhile my peers lived stable “normal” lives with many luxuries. Prostitition allowed me to remain ‘higher’ class, but only later I realized the whole concept of CLASS is a terrible way to define oneself. I wasted many years trying to please the WRONG people, people who reject others because they don’t follow the norms of society.

 Recently, in a history lecture on the politics of women’s bodies in a historical context, a classmate asked a cheeky question, “Do you think prostitutes sold themselves to gain higher status?” The professors response was, “I don’t think any prostitute sells themselves to gain status.” Perhaps historically, she is right. However, I am beginning to see a new side of prostitution that is becoming VERY common, yet not acknowledged:

The Materialistic Prostitute/Escort/Call Girl

I am talking about women who sell themselves for material, superficial gain. I’d say it’s a relatively new form of prostitution that is becoming increasingly common. A materialistic prostitute aspires to obtain symbols that uplift her status in the social hierarchy.  In advanced nations “status” materials, such as a Chanel handbag, means that one is wealthy, and therefore considered better (because such a society assumes those who are prettier, wealthier, and powerful are better). In theory, it sounds insane…but of course the societies of advanced nations promote perverted ideals.

During my first years of escorting I made lots of money, fast money. I spent it instantly, because the money was alway available. Louis Vuitton, Prada, silk blouses, fancy dresses, beautiful shoes. I could buy what I desired, or at least what I thought I desired. I still have those items, which now I realize have no sentimental value.  Again, my mind was exposed to various parts of the world as a child. My mind saw the difference between ‘modern’ and ‘traditional.’ I could not go further away from traditional, because I noticed that simple and traditional things were things that made me feel genuinely happy. The ‘modern, advance, glitzy’ world didn’t really make me happy….but rather it made me a slave to selling myself. I sold myself to gain status, which translates to gaining acceptance from higher-class individuals by mimicking their dress and mannerisms.

My story is not rare. Infact, there are many, many middle-class girls who are selling themselves for wasteful reasons like I did. They open their legs and perform things they don’t really like to men they don’t really like for a Louis Vuitton handbag.

Having said that, I am still a prostitute. I don’t really sell myself for bags and designer goods anymore. I sell myself because (apart from being an addiction) this is something I’ve become good at. I do enjoy some aspects of sex, and I do enjoy some (definitely not all) clients. I don’t know if its right or wrong for me to continue to do this. I have to be thankful that I am ABLE to do this. I am lucky that my financial survival comes from a man who I love and enjoy, but at the same time I am aware of how our ‘no future’ horizon may clash with my dreams of being a Mother one day.

Countless women are dating men who they don’t love, because they want their money and to be pampered. This is known as a ‘sugar-daddy’ relationship, but it’s not different than prostitution. Personally, I cannot pretend to be in love with a man and be his girlfriend for money. I am affectionate as a courtesan, but I am straight-forward with my emotions to my clients.

Indeed, the political, social and economic structures that dominate most of the world are deeply influencing why women are seeking relationships based on wealth rather than based on love. It also can be said these factors are influencing men to view women as objects that can be essentially “used” for sexual purposes only.  Let’s face it, the new modern world worships money and its becoming increasingly patriarchal. Women as sex objects and sex vixens become subordinates to male power. I used to feel that being a prostitute and having my own money made me powerful, but then I realized I am actually feeding an addiction to something that harms me, money.

It is not only the West where this is happening. Middle-class girls of semi-industrialized countries are seeking rich, elite men to finance their materialistic dreams. I have even read about Saudi women who give up their bodies (of course, not their virginity) to  desperate Saudi men under the circumstance he ‘spoils’ them with an expensive handbag or shoes. These women are not to blame. It’s the influence of Western Liberalism that is worrisome. I do not believe prostitutes should be condemned or considered inferior just because they sell their bodies, but something is terribly wrong when women are doing it for overly-inflated designer handbags and silicone breasts. I did it, and I don’t agree with my behaviour at all. The sad part is, this material-consumer culture still consumes me and I feel tremendous pressure. My worth for most of my life, even as a child, was based on superficial things (my body). How do I ‘unlearn’ 20-some years of being valued for what on the outside? It’s not easy. It’s not easy at all….especially in a society that put emphasis on the exterior.

Prostitution Slavery / Trafficked Women / Sex Slaves

People tend to think sex slaves are confined to poorer countries. However, they exist everywhere. In the West, there are always stories about women who were lured to a rich country in hopes to find a decent job, yet they get forced into sexual slavery to pay back their alleged debts.

I have not done extensive research on trafficked women, but I would love to do so in the future. It is well known that there are young Iraqi prostitutes in Syria and elsewhere in the Middle East…catering to Saudi male sex tourists. It really scares me. Without a doubt these women do not choose to be prostitutes, but rather they have no choice between doing it or starving. It is heart-breaking to hear stories of families selling their daughters. One must ask how great is this new ‘modern’ world-system when it can put some families in such a helpless state that they have to sell their daughters in order to eat?

Street Prostitutes

There are different levels of stress prostitutes (hookers). When I began to work as a high-class escort, I also encountered ‘high-track’ women. ‘High-track’ is slang  for high-class street prostitutes. These women all have pimps. Some of these ‘elite’ girls work as escorts in private, or on the ‘high’ part of a designated outdoor area (or some do both). Again, they may not be high-class in the context of being educated and refined. In the sex industry, high-class is more associated with expensive women more so than actual class. Many expensive prostitutes actually come from poverty and working class backgrounds, yet their beauty allows them to be associated with high-prices and status men.

Some high-end street prostitutes I met were quite beautiful, but at first I could never understand why these beautiful women would work on the street and have pimps (men who take their money). Later I learned that these women had a poor concept of self-governance, and were totally dependent on their pimps for survival (sad, indeed). In the U.S., an hour with a high-class street prostitute could range from 500 to 700 US dollars. The rule remains that only women with pimps are allowed to stroll in the designated ‘high-track’ area. Of course, high-class street workers vary from country to country. For instance, in Amsterdam’s Red Light District some high-class girls showcase themselves in windows, while in Bangkok the girls wait outside clubs to solicit themselves.

In what seems like a completely different world, there is low-track. Low-track is the slums, or the worst district/street in a city or town (usually associated with homeless and drug-addicted people). Low-track sex workers are what many people assume is associated with the common prostitute: drug-addicted women selling their bodies for next-t0-nothing or for drugs. These women are perhaps homeless, and are addicted to lethal drugs such as heroin, crack, meth, etc. I have never encountered one of these women, as they exist in another world totally different than the ‘high-class’ world of prostitution. Yet I have no right to degrade these women. They are humans. They all have a story. Nobody knows how or why these women ended up in such a desperate, vulnerable and dangerous place. Where do these women go for help? How do their clients treat them? Indeed they don’t even have homes and usually use sketchy motels.

High-Class Escorts From Poverty/Working Class Backgrounds

As mention, there is an irony associated with ‘high-class’ escorts/prostitutes, because most of the so called ‘high-class’ escorts are women from low-class/poverty backgrounds. Because of their youth or beauty, these women from low-tier backgrounds can sell themselves to wealthy, rich patrons for generous amounts, and as a result some can bring themselves out of poverty. However, many remain in poverty. I have met countless beautiful women who make thousands a week, yet they live in terrible conditions. The reasoning for this is drugs. ‘High-class’ escorts often take ‘high-class’ drugs (cocaine) to cope with their misery. Indeed many of these women hate selling themselves, but they are addicted to the easy money. To cope with their agony of letting undesirable men grope and penetrate their body they use forms of ‘relaxers’ to ease the emotional pain. In my case, I used Louis Vuitton handbags as a source for temporary happiness (which didn’t work), but these girls use partying, drugs, painkillers, and alcohol to deal with their misery. Of course, they end up with multiple addictions, and eventually they end up selling themselves to pay for their drug habits. Eventually, their drug habits damage their beauty, and resultantly, of course, the price of these women drop dramatically at the same rate as their eroding beauty. Many beautiful high-class women, from years of abuse and neglect, end up at low-level street prostitutes. I have seen once beautiful, vibrant escorts turn into desperate, zombie-like addicted women who lost every ounce of innocence from their eyes,…and the worst part is realizing they may soon be on the streets, selling themselves for a hit.

A lot of women in prostitution, regardless of their social status, have been neglected in some form. I have encountered many sex workers coming from unstable families and broken homes. Some of these women were raised in foster-care, some were raped, some were sexually assaulted. Somehow, these women were not nurtured or loved. It’s heartbreaking that they further their pain by joining the sex industry. Some do it by choice, but of course their choice is deeply influenced by their socio-economic situation. Many of these women lose hope, because their life experiences have hardened their viewed of hope. Furthermore, I observed how some sex workers have partners, husbands or boyfriends who also subject them to abuse and neglect. To add to the wound, society essentially rejects prostitutes for their ‘loose’ morals, and thus they are left in a psychological grave. I remember meeting a fellow escort who made decent money. However, she had an abusive boyfriend who gladly took her hard-earned money. The obvious question is: why don’t these women leave their abusive boyfriends? Again, the industry is deeply lonely. Many women would rather have the company of someone rather than nobody, and too often it’s bad company. The cliche “misery loves company” is too true in this case.

The Media’s Unrealistic Depiction of Prostitutes.

I have seen some documentaries/ films / television series on sex workers that glamorize the sex industry. I recall a documentary called, “Cathouse” which depicted the lives of working girls in a Nevada brothel. The show angered me, because it did not depict any reality, or ugly, aspect of the sex industry. Instead, it almost seemed like a marketing scheme to lure more ‘normal’ women into the ‘glamorize’ world of ‘high-class’ sex work. I felt sorry for the sex workers in the film, and I knew for sure that many of them are hiding a lot of pain and are likely unaware of their exploitation.

A good escort is trained not to express her sorrows in public, but rather to keep them inside. I was taught this when I first started working by a former prostitute-turned madam. She told me always to act pleasant and appealing, and never do discuss the realities of my life (the hardships), because in her view (which she is probably correct) clients do not pay to hear a sob-story. Men want sexually attentive, willing, and aroused young women, so thus it’s an escorts job to be an amazing actress most of the time. The sex worker who displays her anger and hostility towards men doesn’t make much money and will not have regular clients. Thus, escorts hold their emotions inside in order to profit handsomely.

Where do Prostitutes Work?

Where prostitutes conduct their business depends on laws of their country/state. As well, different kinds of prostitutes conduct their business differently. I have worked from my own home and inside ‘high-class’ brothel establishments. A few times I have also done ‘out-calls,’ which is what people typically consider an escort or call-girl. An ‘out-call’ means I go to the client at his hotel. Some girls do ‘out-calls’ at a clients home, but I have never done this. I am not comfortable with outcalls, but when I have done it I did it at luxury hotels only. Overall, working independently (from home) is better financially, because I can charge higher rates and I keep all the money. However, working in a ‘high-class’ establishment is safer, but the downside is the owner takes a percentage of my money.

My ventures overseas gave me experience in a ‘high-class’ brothel (sex parlour). It was similar to a mini 5-star hotel, and it was immaculately furnished. This particular brothel could accommodate many clients. It was a very professional setting in which there were receptionists, intercoms to each rooms, flat screen televisions, jacuzzis, dressing rooms for the girls, and even a seperate villa to accommodate girls from out of town. I would be introduced to clients, and when they pick me I would take them to a room for our appointment. The room had showers, a king or queen-size bed, and was properly attired for the service of providing sex. The prices were not affordable, and patrons were generally middle to upper class. Occasionally some working men class men would come, which meant they had to “save-up” for the experience.

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November 18, 2011 · 1:23 am

Social Participation — No Place for a Prostitute

Prostitutes are marginalized in almost all societies in the world today. I am fully aware that I have to conceal the fact that I sold myself as a commodity in order to ‘succeed’ in any future career. Let’s face it, we do not value comfort women, because they ‘contaminate’ the prescriptions of society. We do not think how or why they do it, or if they enjoy it. Society tells us these ‘non-conformists’ are unworthy of love…un-worthly of acknowledgement. In this mentality whatever does NOT benefit the society and it’s status-quo is simply ignored or dismissed. I like what Amber (beinganescort @ blogspot)  wrote in one of her posts about how people are quick to condemn prostitutes, but they never consider our emotions.

Sometimes, however, I have a desire to ‘come out.’ Sometimes, I want to go against society, and test the barriers. How will others treat me when they know about my past? Will I be labeled? Will I be taken seriously? Probably not. Yet, why can I not have a voice?   The answer is simple: I fear rejection. Rejection from one person is one matter, but rejection from society is another. I remember meeting a very educated and ambitious escort in her mid-30′s. Her and I got quite close when we were working together, however she never dared to reveal any personal information about herself. I never knew her real name. I never knew her ethnicity. I did know she was planning to work in international law, and that’s all. Why does she have to hide her shame? Even if she does become successful, she can never share her emotions of her experiences in the sex-trade.

Again, I mentioned in previous posts: to avoid being rejected or outcasted in society, I conform to the prescribed ideals. I do not tell people that I am prostitute, nor do I dress, look, or behave like what is stereotypically expected of one. Lately, I’ve grown tiresome of concealing my identity. I used to have a huge fear of people judging me. The only fear that really remains is my family finding out. My parents are too old to understand the bigger picture, and moreover I don’t want them to worry about me. I do not need to tell everyone what I do, because it’s sex– and sex is something that happens but its something you keep between yourself and the other participant. However, you might ask: Why do you have a public blog talking about your work? The answer is simple: it’s my outlet; it’s also for girls who may be in a similar position than me; it’s also for those who want a realistic insight from an escort rather than relying on fictional-depictions found elsewhere.

Years ago, I used to place myself on a pedestal above other escorts/prostitutes. I felt that I was ‘above’ them because I didn’t look or act like a “whore.” However, I have come to realize that I am just like every other prostitute. There are no real social hierarchies…, at the end of the day, a prostitute has sex for money (and it doesn’t matter if she is working on the streets or she is driving a Mercedes). Now, I feel no shame. Why should I feel shame about something I did? If I hurt anyone I only hurt myself…I did not hurt others. I don’t feel I am a bad person, so why allow myself to feel I did something terribly wrong? Who says its wrong? Sure many can argue that a prostitute contributes to a man cheating on their spouse. But again, who instilled these values? Are these values of fidelity and pureness innate? Or were we socialized to accept these values?

Film for Thought: Malena, starring Monica Bellucci, always puts me to tears. It’s a classic example of society, and how they marginalized the character Malena for her non-conforming habits. The beating scene is so powerful, because finally we get to hear the pain felt by Malena. Her voice was silenced throughout the whole movie. Everyone in town was quick to condemn her, but nobody cared to hear her voice. In a recent history lecture our class came across the topic of prostitution in a historical context. My professor wanted to note how the voices of these women, the prostitutes, were silenced…nobody knew their stories. She said if they (the prostitutes) had a chance to have a voice perhaps they wouldn’t have been treated harshly. Again, how can one dictate who can or cannot have a voice?

The beating scene from the film Malena. The village women taking their revenge on a woman whom they never once spoke too.

“Honor and shame are two sides of the SAME coin”

- Kama Sutra: Tale of Love (film)

*On a less serious note: I thought it was only young Saudi men who had a fondness towards their mothers. My older Saudi client, the 50′something year Dad, has left town. Apparently he is quite bored where he is, so he calls me usually everyday with his little-to-no English. He has began to call me his Mother…he says it multiple times: “enti (you’re my..) ..Mather…mama….ummm..Motherrrr.” I find it funny, and to be honest I like it. An old Saudi man referring to a 20-something year old girl as his Mama…, in a foolish way, it makes me feel honored.

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October 22, 2011 · 8:25 am

Halal Prostitute – The Mother Teresa of Sex Workers?

I would like to think of myself as a ‘Halal’ prostitute, if such a title could exist. The fact that I have sex before marriage means that I am anything BUT halal. However, if one puts halal in the context of being genuine, kind, and traditional then I consider myself halal. What I mean is that I’m have a lot of respect for myself and I have many halal values (except having sex out of wed-lock, of course). I don’t drink, I don’t dress vulgar in my day-to-day life, I am kinda conservative besides the fact that I sell myself. I would love to travel to the Middle East one day, and investigate the lives of Muslim prostitutes. I want to know why they chose this profession (or did they have a choice at all? — I’m sure many are forced into the profession). I want to know their values, and how they feel about men. Am I the only ‘halal’ prostitute, …or do others exist?

For some men, I fit the mold of an ideal partner, but my only is stain is that I happen to be a prostitute. I attract men who want a serious relationship, yet the problem is my fierce need for self-governance. However, my desire for independence conflicts with my natural urge for needing love and acceptance. Again, the story of my life is how to reconcile the conflicting ideals.

It feels good that one of my closest friends is now aware of my lifestyle (that I am an escort). She said to me, teasingly, “Do you think you are the Mother Theresa of prostitutes?“ This was in reference to our conversation about the types of men I encounter. I was telling this friend how I feel sorry for some men, the ones who are sweet but do no possess the social skills to ‘pick up’ women. I told her how I sympathize with some of my clients. For instance, when I meet a man who may not be handsome or socially accepted but has pure and honest heart…I will treat him well, and I want to show him love (even if it’s only for one or two hours…I want to show him my affection, even though I do not actually love him).

It is the greatest injustice that we commit as human beings: denying love to others. The notion of lacking love is what contributes to a lot of social problems. Denying someone love from an early age can have many negative reactions in the future. So, always be thankful to be alive. Again, problems we feel here in the West are NOTHING in comparison to the serious issues (such as famine and war) faced by those in the peripheral. Be thankful everyday, and do your best to provide someone (even a stranger) with some compassion. Where does one get the idea that we should deny anyone love? I ask myself this question. I denied my ex the right to continue to love me. We are now separated for a year…and I must admit that I still love him. Yet I also love my Sheik. In a perfect world, I could love all of them and provide my affection to all. Unfortunately the world is full of possessiveness, emotions, and angst.

Escorts, especially the beautiful and successful ones, can develop huge egos. They think their pussies are gold and superior (when in reality there is no such thing). As result, the money and the attention from men makes these women develop an arrogant attitude. This has happened to me too, however whenever my egos gets too inflated the natural equilibrium kicks in to push me down to earth. Anyway, some girls never come back down to earth (become humble), and resultingly these women treat men who are not handsome or ‘cool’ as inferiors. I have seen this many times: a beautiful co-worker of mine belittling and criticizing about a lovely and sweet client just because he wasn’t ‘hot.’ For me, I feel sorry for these men who face rejection, so I try my best to show them affection and provide them with a service that is genuine.

A few instances I have come across clients who had some obvious imperfections (by society’s standards). These men did not fit society’s ideals in terms of superficial ideals (physical appearance, attire, etc). Most escort women feel ‘business’ men, who dress sharply in expensive suits, are ideal. But to be quite honest I find them utterly boring and very unappealing. Business men who value money and power have no personal value to me. I’ve observed that the men who’ve tipped me the biggest sums where NOT wearing suits. They were wealthy by chance, and did not feel the urge to flaunt it, but rather they were modest and practical

The Concept of using “High-class” as an Escort?

I am skeptical about the name that is assigned to women like me: high-class. It signifies that I am superior over other prostitutes because I’ve conformed to the ideals of the rich. As I get older I’m starting to see how sick this Western society and mentality is: this society brainwashed us to worship the rich, the powerful, and the beautiful (yet, are these people really the ones who are altruistic, humanistic, and empathetic??) Our society tells us to value the worst aspects of society: the elite, the upper class of snobs who exploit the masses. What other name can I advertise myself as other than high-class? Should I be the ‘socially conscious and intellectual escort? Unfortunately, to be part of this perverted game, I must conform to what will bring me business: the high-class escort. If only I could advertise myself as: I am a Halal Escort…..

Film for thought: I watched an Algerian film that depicts a Muslim prostitute. It’s called Viva L’Algerie. I suppose the character playing the prostitute was ‘halal’…because there is a scene where she wears her modest Islamic outfit (possibly an Abaya) over her sexy slinky dress for work.

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June 8, 2011 · 7:14 am

Types of Clients – (An Escort’s Perspective)

I’ve seen all sorts of men, from a variety of races to a variety backgrounds. However, most men, regardless of these differences, often fall into a client stereotype. Of course, there are always the odd exceptions. For instance, there was a client I saw who was infamously known for lifting women over his shoulders, in the air, to lick between their legs. Others, like the young 20-year old University student who used to book me for 8 hours at a time to only  kiss and lick my hands and feet (I suppose those two were unique).

Over the years, I’ve summarized a few categories of clients that are typically encountered in the “elite” world of Escorting and Brothels. I’ve discussed these types of clients with other working girls too, and we’ve all agreed on many of them:

1. The Client who always seeks “New” Girls:  By “new” girls I am referring to girls who are new to the sex industry, new to a particular brothel establishment, or new to an area (city). There are always a handful of these perverted clients who are waiting for the “new” girls, and they often have a disgusting agenda. The reasonings for seeking fresh-meat is simple: they are hoping they can exploit her, for the new girls are presumed to have no sense of control over what is allowed, and what is NOT allowed (in terms of sex). It’s common that these men lure naïve ‘new’ girls to perform sexual acts that she is not comfortable doing. These men are hoping to score big with sexual ‘extras’ that are typically not available (or cost more) from experienced prostitutes.

Tragically, many newcomers to the sex-industry do not have the assertiveness to set their boundaries. These clients are predators looking to take advantage of them. These type of clients never see a girl more than once, unless they can continue to exploit her. They may appear charming, but deep down they are deeply misogynistic. Underneath the facade they are truly manipulative. They are also cheap, and do not leave tips for their ladies (they are trying to get as much sexual favors for the least amount of money).

In my personal experience, I have seen these “house regulars,”…as every high-end prostitute experiences being a ‘new’ girl more often than once. Fortunately I am aware of these clients mentality, and soon enough they will realize that they cannot exploit me.

2. The Nice Guy who’s Divorced, or Broke up with his Long-time Girlfriend: The name speaks for itself. Typically, these guys range from late 20′s to early 40′s. They are often the sweetest, most considerate men. They don’t usually see prostitutes, but they don’t have the option to get sex elsewhere (ex: they don’t go to night-clubs, pubs, etc).  This does not imply that they are undesirable by any means. In fact, they are often very desirable men, but they do not conform to social norms of interacting with women at conventional places. They tend to choose escorts that are intellectual and seemingly normal. As a client, they are totally self-less, and enjoying giving pleasure to a woman. It is very important for them to make sure the women is satisfied first.

The problem is, these sweet “Nice Guy” clients fall in love too easily. I actually met a lovely man who fits this mold last week. He’s in his mid-30′s, educated, and his wife left him. We had a great time together, and predictably he asked for my number. I said no. He’s a great guy, but I am not looking for a serious relationship, as I’m already in love with another dream.

A good percent of my clients over the years have been these type of men. My ex-fiancee was one. Normally, I always said no when clients asked to take me out, but my ex and I were unique (we had so much in common, and he was the most respectful man I’d ever met). These men are looking for love ….in the wrong place.

3. The “Nice Guy” who’s MARRIED: I see a lot of these men too. Some of my best clients are married. While they are extremely lovely as clients, I hate the idea that they are cheating on their wives. The worst part is that married men are usually so loving, affectionate and respectful, which seems perfect ….BUT! Just knowing that sweet men are cheating translates back to my female brain that seemingly pius, good men cheat on their wives!

Be sure to check my questions and answers, because there are various sub-types of married clients.

4. The CLIENT (married or unmarried) with the Madonna-Whore Complex: These are the type of clients who want a prostitute to essentially ACT like what she is: a whore. I hate these men. They are disgusting, and in my opinion the biggest losers. They are the ones who watch porn and think that women actually enjoy those grotesque and degrading acts of “sex.” Thankfully, my clientele has not consisted of many of these men. They tend to like the plastic, trashy facade (fake breasts, plumped up injected lips, etc).

5. The ASSETS MAN (The Breast men, the Ass Men) - Of course, my perspective on these clients is biased, because I have very large natural breasts. So naturally (no pun intended), I get plenty of the big-breast lovers clients. Generally, there are two categories of breast men:

1. The Client who loves large breasts, regardless if they are fake or natural.

2. The Client who ONLY loves big natural breasts.

Breast clients vary in what they want to do with a set of voluptuous breasts. Sometimes they want “Russian” (or “Spanish,” the lingo used in other countries), which is wrapping their penis between a woman’s breasts. Or some men love to suck the woman’s nipples for long durations, or just smothered their face in her breasts. Oh yes, and a minority of clients have a lactating fantasy.

And then, there are the men who love/worship a woman’s bottom (her ass, her buttocks, …whatever you like to call it). But the assmen are often unique. I’ve encounter many different types of ass worshipers. There are some men who just admire the shape of a woman’s bottom, while others admire her actual “hole”……and there is another breed of men who find ultimate pleasure in licking a woman’s backside entirely. These men have no intention of having anal sex, but rather they just enjoy it as an asset.

Foot Fetish for Escorts

6. The Fetish CLIENT: Fetishes vary from the individual. For instance, clients who love feet have their own methods for enjoying the experience. The same can be said for men who like women to dominate them. I will never forgot the first time I encountered men with fetishes. I was fresh to the industry, and I had no idea that men were so STRANGE! Why would a man want me to hurt him? Why would a man want to suck my toes? However, now….I see the pleasure in pain and in odd things. I enjoy fetish clients….they are always respectful and very considerate. It’s often a very fun, humorous experience, and I admit that I love when a man worships me at my feet (it’s such an empowering, yet guilty feeling).

7. The Pussy Lover: It sounds vulgar, but I couldn’t think of anything else to describe these men. Yes, there are some clients that get their ultimate pleasure in eating a woman’s private parts. No, they aren’t like the ‘nice’ guys, who want to pleasure the women. A pussy lover client isn’t going down for her pleasure, it’s for his pleasure!

The difference between a ‘pussy lover’ and ‘nice guy’ is that a nice guy will lick a woman and see how her body responds. On the other hand, a ‘pussy lover’ will just go down on a woman, without asking her if she enjoys it or not (again, because it’s for his enjoyment). Some men don’t realize that the act of ‘going down’ on a woman does not guarantee she will enjoy it. Good oral skills require technique and lots of feedback from the participant (the woman).

I usually don’t allow men to do this with me, but with a few regulars I have…and I know when he’s this type of client. A pussy lover will not stop licking, even after the woman has orgasm. He can’t get enough of her juices. While it’s flattering, I think it’s kind of questionable at the same time: How can you lick a woman without knowing her hygiene practices? Is it a biological desire? Or just a fetish for feminine scent? Clearly, certain men do not care about whether or not a woman bathed. Rather, they see a desirable woman and it’s their instinct to lick her from head-to-toe (and every part gets licked). Sure, I embrace men who love to satisfy their women sexually, however, pussy-fetish men seem to have express a desire for a woman’s scent/fluids (again, it’s to satisfy his pleasure). In any event, scents are very erotic for some.

8. The IDEAL client (Wham, Bham, Thank You Maam!): Ahh, any woman who escorts will agree with me on this one. This client totally respects our job, and takes it for what is it: strictly business. He visits weekly, maybe bimonthly. The sex is quick, easy, and predictable. He is brief, and leaves early. He doesn’t waste time talking, or trying to pretend it’s an intimate experience. Best of all, he leaves a tip, and totally respects that it’s business (no emotional drama).

When I was living overseas, one of my regular clients was this “Ideal” client. He came every week. He was so predictable. He always came in under a minute, in the same position – always. We always had the same conversations, and every time he would tell me I remind him of an ancient Egyptian goddess. He knew I would never date him, so for my comfort he never tried to intrude on my personal life. A quick act of sex..,he’s satisfied sexually and I’m paid, and then we’re finished. That went on for a good year until I left the country. I wish all my clients were like him.

The reason these “ideal” clients are so rare is because most men want more than sex (with me personally). I have had great regular clients, but I would prefer appointments that are quick and sweet. Instead, my regular clients are seeking passionate love-making, endless conversation, cuddling……..which sounds great, but honestly I don’t want to do that (get emotional) with someone I don’t love.

9. The Saudi Student:  They get a category of their own, the Saudi students, because they are unique…and there are so many of them. What other race of international students have the seemingly bottomless incomes as the Saudis do, and have freshly tasted Liberal ideas in terms of mingling freely with women? Although Saudi guys have their unique personalities, they also have many traits as clients that have become common. For instance, Saudis students have little-to-no-knowledge on the mechanics of sex. But good boys learn quickly. Funny enough, a Saudi male friend of mine said that his own fellow nationals, “only know how to fuck like donkey’s”….but I would say that’s a bit harsh. They aren’t that bad, and I mentioned how many of them aroused me despite lack of experience. Contrary to popular myth on the ‘dominating’ Muslim male, I find young Saudi men to be quite soft. They are very affectionate lovers. Again, my experience is biased.

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