I am a woman who belongs no where in society. It took me years to realize how living an ‘abnormal’ lifestyle made it harder to participate in ‘normal’ life.
I am a high-class escort who lives a seemingly normal lifestyle which consists of attending University and working in the business part-time. This blog is to expose how working as a ‘high-end’ sex worker took over my life like an addiction.
What makes me unique is that I’m an exotic escort, who’s born and raised in the West yet my parents are both immigrants from the Eastern regions of the world. I learned at a young age that many men are quite pleased by my exotic look.
This is my diary of being a high-class prostitute. Selling sex often feels like I’ve sold my soul at times. There is a lot of money to be made in a short amount of time, but the reality is it is not glamorous. Despite being ‘wanted’ all the time and being told constantly how ‘beautiful’ you are….it’s actually quite an empty, shallow life.
I see all sorts of men of different ages and races. Many married women wonder: Why do men pay for sex? Why do married men see prostitutes (escorts)? Others may wonder: what’s it like to be an escort?
Lately, I do not work often as I see my client-turned-lover, a Gulf Arab gentleman. We have fallen in love with each other, but there are political and cultural barriers to creating a future together.
Hi dear.,
I have seen your blog just today itself., Planned to spend for 5 minutes but your writings make me to read few articles.., You are a good writer more than a prostitute, Your emotions are more precious than money. But Money gives all the pleasure except sex, so money is important. I am also in dual mind and i am from india..
Wish you best of luck for future
I stumbled over your pose, while researching for a paper – adult entertainment business and its impact on soceity, for my sociology class. I would just like to leave you with a friendly reminder, that fear the day when you will be resurrected in front of ALLAH and be answerable for using a body which is the property of ALLAH not human being, everything we are given in this life, body, money, relationships, interactions, situations are nothing more than a property or situation of test from ALLAH .
The filth that this act creates in soceity, has far and wide repurcussions. moral and social degradation and total loss from the path of finding mercy of ALLAH.
Fear ALLAH, ask for forgivness from ALLAH and seek ALLAH;s help in leaving this filthy way of life, It will neither avail you anything in this life nor anything in the hereafter, one forgiveness is all it takes with sincerity, to be on the path of success in the hereafter.
I am not judging you or telling you that you are hell-bound, but merely trying to tell u what is the truth so that in the hereafter I will not be responsible for not telling you to leave this way and come back to the path of ALLAH . may ALLAH forgive you and guide you to a pure, clean and pious life. Ameen
Your brother
Inshallah. Thank you for the comment. I am also studying Sociology, so please feel free if you have any questions. Alhamdulillah
Honestly with that answer i just learned a LOT about you. wow and i have to say that we have things in common hehe, i thought i was a rare breed. hehe
I am an escort myself and I agree with you on most things, but I don’t see how u can “fall in Love”. I see at least 6 guys a week for the last 4 years. Each time they repulse me more and more, even if they are cute and clean. All men are the same to me now, dirty, disgusting, pigs. I cannot help the way I feel. I had a young lover (i’m 46 he was 27) and I fell madly in love with him in the beginning of my escort career. As time went on, I didn’t even want him to touch me and I loved him more then anyone I had ever been with. This career has ruined my perception of men, if there are any good ones out there, I will not be able to see it because of the huge cloud before my eyes. I cannot stop escorting because I am addicted to the money and I fear that ev entully my looks will prevent me from doing this. I don’t know how to get out, and I am lonlier then ever. It’s a no-win situation…….
You have to get out of this profession.
The sad truth is that you are probably correct. All men are pigs. Younger women try to remain blind to this truth. Older women realize it eventually.
It’s really a question of how women come to terms with this. Just because men don’t visit prostitutes, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t if there were no consequences.
Thank you for commenting.
However, I disagree with your statement about all men ‘being pigs.’ All men are NOT ‘pigs.’ This is the wrong mentality. Sure, being an escort can make a woman very hardened towards men. Yet she must realize that not all men (nor every client) has the intention to exploit/use her. Some men are bad, sure. But some women can be equally as bad. Blaming an entire sex is an invalid argument, which fails to look how society conditions men and women to behave in certain manners.
Men, just like women, face tremendous pressure to play their gendered roles. There is also no universal trait for men or women, as variety of gender identities exist cross-culturally.
You should think about publishing this into a book. It would sell itself and you could stop selling yourself. Your writing gives a different perspective and understanding about what women in this life style go through, and that they are people too with feelings, wishes, and desires for a better future. May you find what you are looking for, and with happiness.
Thank you so much…peace also to you.
u r rare, u r having a beautiful heart , but u r not doing justice to yourself,
go get free, leave d thing dat makes u feel away from your soul!!
i respect ur emotions.
regards <3
Agreed!! I would buy the book and so many others would too!
I was considering escorting until I read your blog. I realized while reading it that no amount of money would be worth the emotional turmoil I know I would feel afterward. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself on here.
Thank you for sharing that, and I am glad you are beyond this industry. The money is not worth the emotions. Be strong
Hello, I wanted to compliment you on your blog. I literally began a post yesterday, just felt the need to write and share my experience. Its bare bones at the moment, no design, just a glimpse of me. Check it out if you can. http.//soyouwanttobeahighendescort.blogspot.com….XO
Thanks for commenting and good luck on your blog. I look forward to it
The sheik has played you for a fool.
Only time will tell…
What if the Sheikh goes bankrupt? Will your love prevail?
How refreshing it is to read your blog! You are a very good writer and have a talent here!
It was a relief to read the words that we can find some clients who try to please us – the thought of it is repulsive. Usually they are doing nothing wrong, they are quite often highly respectful, punctual, pay the right amount etc. They are ordinary decent, hardworking men, who you can imagine would treat a woman very well. But there’s something we can’t explain – just no chemistry – yet they keep coming back again and again.
I find I can’t see regular clients for too long (say over 2 years). There’s no logical explanation for it, other than you keep feigning intimacy with them when it’s not real. To them, it’s their fantasy which gives them fuel, a spring in their step. But to us – it’s draining our energy.
We give it, and enjoy the lifestyle that comes with it. It feels as if we lose our soul a bit but we are compensated with working whenever we please, on our own terms, if we feel like it, etc. I often become grateful after seeing ‘check-out’ chicks slaving away all day long at the cash register and see them pushed around by their superiors.
Thanks for commenting Laura. I agree with your perspective and thanks for sharing. Indeed the lack of chemistry is why we don’t desire clients who are handsome, sweet and respectful.
It is nice not having a ‘boss’ …we are very independent, yet this escorting world isolates us — it makes us too independent.
WOW ! WOW! WOW! I AM SPEECHLESS HUNNY! YOU ARE JUST EXTRAORDINARILY AMAZING, DO U HAVE A FACEBOOK WHERE I CAN ADD U AS A FRIEND, your blog woke me up and i enjoyed reading every article u wrote there… stay blessed dear
Thank you…:) I don’t have a Facebook currently
I just came across your blog when you followed mine
I am fascinated by your writing, your experience, and your client-turned-lover Sheikh…and I feel for you, reading about the emotional toll this lifestyle has had on you. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say and getting to know you a bit.
Thank you kindly. I love your blog and your mind. I had spent hours browsing it. Will comment soon on your posts
You look so gorgeous on your photos. I’m pretty sure you’re busy with the industry. Best of luck to you. <3
I love reading your post!! I have always been so curious about the life of a high end exotic escort.
I am starting to miss your writing…Looking forward to your new posts.
Love
You write extremely well and I enjoyed some of your cultural insights. It’s obvious that you are aware of your profession being fraught with emotional and physical problems and you are intelligent enough to realise that this cannot continue forever.
What I find perplexing is why you continue upon a path that causes you suffering? You can have meaningful sex elsewhere, you can find intellectual stimulation from your studies and clever friends, and you are bright enough to earn a living elsewhere.
As your friend Tony pointed out men often think of ladies in your profession as ‘whores’ and as people they can discard, so would it not be best to change now and fulfil all your human potential and be happy with a partner that values you as a person and not simply an object of temporary desire?
You mention a little about Islam and Muslims and I thought of this hadith: http://hadithqudsi.sacredhadith.com/hadith-qudsi-34/
On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say:
“Allah the Almighty said:
‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.
O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you.
O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.’”
It was related by at-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its chain of authorities is sound.
I hope the best for you and I hope you find solace and happiness.
Thank you for commenting. I am not doing escorting for the purpose of sexual stimulation per say. As I mentioned, I do this because I am extremely addicted to the money from this job.
The sex industry is not so black and white. Not every client views escorts as insignificant or ‘whores.’ Ironically, many clients respect us and often even admire us (and some clients, if given the chance, may enter relationships and marry with escorts).
Hello,
I shall keep this brief, as here in Australia it is midnight. I am 29 years old. I started working for a fairly famous and very high class bordello -stiletto- in Sydney, Australia when I was 20. I’ve come back in and out of the industry. Loving the cash, but being to immature to realize it just wouldn’t last forever. The money would dry up and all i’d be left with- outdated clothing:( and due to repeated leaving for man after man after man… Each time truly believing I’d found true love. Each time I was treated worse than the previous. Now I have finally left my last disastrous relationship and after spending a month or so getting super duper together emotionally again and starting to love and appreciate myself for the first time in I could not even say how long I am caring only about what’s right FOR MOI;) Along with this I have, I think, made the decision to go back to escorting- but THIS TIME- because I am 29 and no spring chicken -good time-only-party new to the industry I have decided I WILL NOT be paying any agency half or any house 60-70% plus bonds ect to work really in what is just basic ‘prostitution’ no knack to it, no airs and graces, no real manners or grooming and deportment training necessary. It’s just sex for quick usually small amounts of cash. I worked for a worldwide very high profile escort agency AFTER the high class bordello – And I would go and pick my cheques up from the managers/owners of the agency- they lived in a gorgeous apartment, with a chef and personal trainers, they spent their holidays travelling the world. And although they were charging $800-$1000p/hour for my time and service, I was only seeing A HALF OF THAT! I spoke to an escort friend of mine now in her 50′s and still slogging away at a ‘apparent high class’ bordello, I told her I had decided to work for MYSELF. She tried SO, SO very hard to just talk me out of it! Telling me ALL the reasons why it wouldn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, work. She had looked into it and the overheads just too high. But when I sat down and wrote up a proper business plan and feasibility study etc it seemed to MORE than show extreme viability on paper! So now, although I feel that I should use the next 5 years (until 33-34) to work my little butt off marketing myself as probably the ONLY truly high class, well educated, excited, groomed and trained with life experience escort/courtesan in my city. In the market research I performed there just was NOT anyone single lady offering what I would like to and most importantly CAN HONESTLY offer:) I feel that after all I’ve lost- in many ways to this industry (things I won’t mention here, but certainly not any such things which have left me in anyway bitter towards the industry- but I just feel now is the ONLY time I will EVER have to recoup my losses due to leaving this industry for pathetic-promise the world-deliver-utterly-NOTHING-men!!! I feel I don’t have long left, age wise, to be able to offer my services at the class level and price range I shall be asking. I am excited to be honest about the prospects, and travel opportunities, financial security and education that could all be built out of my working incredibly hard over the next little while. I fully intend on paying tax, so as to build a property portfolio and my long term financial stability. I also intend on investing a lot into furthering my education (I was studying law/psychology at uni and would like to continue this at some point in the near future so as to have something to build a career with outside of and far away from this industry
I guess my question to you my friend, is what do you think of my plan? I am based in Canberra, ACT. Which is Australia’s capital city and whilst certainly not the biggest city it is I suppose like Washington DC in many ways due to all politics being run from here, parliament house is here and the government comes from all over the country to sit for parliament on a regular basis- politicians are one of a working ladies biggest slices of ‘bread n butter’ I’ve been told here in the ACT. It is also just won the title of most expensive city to live in Australia but almost in the world these days! So! People clearly have money! And it is literally filled with public servants whom have long been known to hire escorts and stay longer. They are reputed to have a lot of luxury disposable income to burn and they love de-stressing with a beautiful high class intelligent lady;) And as I stated above- my market research mostly proved that Canberra is over run by the following;
*transexuals
*massage only
*older larger ladies with the shocking ad copy- “little bit older, little bit bolder, not over the hill, still able to thrill”….. Ummmmm somehow I don’t think I even WANT to compete to keep company with the type of ‘gentleman’ whom would read this ad, call and ACTUALLY go ahead with this booking- given that a friend (a male) of mine whom has helped me with my market research(I send him to visit and stay with ladies around the area and he reports back- As an escort veteran-he’s never even been inside a parlour-he’ll only see escorts- and he WASN’T happy at having to investigate this frightening ad lol;) went to see her and refused to stay as she certainly lived up to the copy and more! Not only was she A LOT OLDER AND A LOT BIGGER- she works from a dingy apartment on the outskirts of town with cats crawling around everywhere, and the ‘little bit bolder’ came into play most surely when HE- YES HE!!! – HAD TO BEG HER TO USE PROTECTION (condom) she refused many times-reassuring that she could tell when men are clean! And he said- its not me I’m worried about!!! How many men are you servicing ILLEGALLY /IMORALLY/UNETHICALLY everyday in this disease spreading fashion! He grabbed his clothes and RAN! And assured he was NOT happy with myself for the market research ‘perks’ that particular day which will stay etched in his traumatized mind!!;) anyway there are maybe 8 girls whom would be somewhere close to decent looking enough to work in a highclass bordello whom live and work from serviced apartments mainly in the city. But NONE of them whom I’ve researched so far (and I’m so sorry if this sounds rude) NONE of them are attractive naturally – they are either too large, covered in stretch marks, no breasts, on any number of drugs and totally unprofessional, covered in tattoos, old women, skanky looking young and middle aged women etc ect… The couple of truly stunning and by the sounds of their websites are the ‘real deal’ and I guess what I would like to launch myself as eg: website. Business cards ect… They are NOT based permanently and on a fulltime basis in Canberra. They come on ‘holidays or tours’ or special bookings. You have to book well in advance, so I believe so far I may be one of maybe one or two girls permanently based in Canberra who do this for a living whilst also educating themselves, saving, building property portfolios, spending money to make money, investing, paying tax and throughouly caring for themselves both inside and out, so as to be the best to only have to accept the very best. So I believe that qualifies somewhat as a niche, yes?
I would really love, appreciate, be honoured with any advice, suggestions, words of wisdom etc that you could maybe offer me.
I want to ask you straight out- do you think I’m being ridiculous, stupid, unrealistic or living in some sordid fantasy world with lovely thick rose coloured glasses glued to my face?
Am I being selfish by refusing to give my ex partner (he was somewhat violent) a second chance and instead following my plan to set myself up for life with just 5 years of full time hectic escorting.
Can you give me any advice or information on what I could do to enable me to morally charge really high prices without losing every client altogether?
I’m SO very sorry that I’ve given you just SO much information on your blog. I truly am. I so need and want this to work. I’m 29 and I don’t get a second chance at this what I believe (and what I know will be hideously-want-to-give-up days) a golden opportunity for me right now. I know it’s not glamorous, but I find ways to make it feel glamorous and glitzy by counting all that money, buying n investing and spending hours at the day spa …. My body is my product it must be cared for yes?
I so look forward to hearing from you, at your earliest convenience.
Thank you,
Best wishes for a lovely Christmas and happy new year,
Olivia.
Hi Olivia,
Thank you for sharing your story. Try to make a plan that will let you leave this line of work. Save your money, and invest in a home or flat rather than spending it on expensive designer goods or day spas.
It’s very terrible they take half of your money in Australia. I have heard about this before. It’s very unjust. Taking 50-60 percent commission inspires greedy people to start escort businesses and exploit sex workers.
I hope my future posts can help you and others
Take care,
Exotic Escort Diary
Im 29 and I look 24. I work out and do my own glycolic chemical peels and use sonya dakar skin care. I have a very youthful face and nice body, and I will invest money in cosmetic procedures in the future as needed. I want to look as young as kim kardashains mom (kris jenner) when im her age. With the kind of money you make, its very feasible. But dont get distracted by relationships with men or costly schooling. Think about you and only what is best for you, not men, not anyone else. Men always tell me if they could escort they would rather do that than work 50-60 hours a week. Im also going to pursue acting and modeling as side hobbies, but i have ZERO intention of marrying or going to school. Well good luck, be strong:)
I’ve known many women/escorts with your outlook on life. They want to invest heavily into their outer beauty, and become completely focused on their physical appearance. They hold this belief that money and outer beauty is enough to keep them happy and satisfied. It’s your life, do what you want. But I suggest finding a balance. You can do this work, but do not neglect your inner self. If you let money and superficial beauty define who you are, then you will attract the same shallow people. At the moment, that type of attention may sound ideal. But when you are much older, you must ask yourself: will shallow attention make you happy? What is your plan if something happens to your outer beauty?
Outer beauty is such a fragile thing to rely on. I, too, am a beautiful woman. I am getting older too, hitting my mid-late twenties. When I was younger, I was focused on defining myself by superficial means (my appearance). Then I thought to myself: what if I burnt my face? What if I broke my leg? Who will still want me if my outer beauty was ruined? That’s when I realized the importance of internal qualities. I am no longer interested in shallow persons, because they are only concerned with my physical appearance (which, again, is not a permanent feature).
I am sure one day in your life you will want love, but real love is not based on physical appearances. I don’t know how one can find ‘shallow’ love satisfying, but it depends on their mentality. Lastly, if one does not have an engaging personality, then their outer beauty becomes very mediocre over time.
Best of luck.
Hi I was searching for something else online and stumbled across ur blog. I’m an ex escort. I left the business few months ago and moved back home (Norway). It has now been 9 months since I quit.
I got into escorting after leaving my studies. I was studying law in uk, but left my studies and found myself in financial difficulties, so to make some extra cash I got into escort. First it was just casual, then I Went professional, working as a full time independent “high class” escort. However after a year I hated what it was doing to me psychologically, and stupidly enough I fell in Love with one of my ex clients. A married surgeon, a big mistake. Anyway we ended it and I decided to leave the business and moved back home.
Leaving escorting was VERY VERY hard. I was used to making allot of money in short space of time. Now having to get a normal job and earning an average salary was difficult. The temptation to go back is always there. I’ve even had offers from ex clients visiting Norway and wanting a booking, but its not worth it. Ive lost myself in the process of escorting and find it VERY difficult to trust men.
I’ve been single for a year now because I find it hard to trust anyone enough to let them close into me.
I just hope that someday I’ll find peace and happiness and leave this behind me. Inshalla.
Inshallah. Let’s hope you can see the light and get out of the ‘darkness.’ Good for you for quitting. I know how hard it must be. The hardest part is often our former, regular clients …who call or email us (which is so tempting, because often they might be lovely clients). But I hope you can keep it up and let me know how it goes.
Since you are in Europe, I would like to suggest a great British memoir called, “Disgraced” By Saira Ahmed. She is a British-Muslim woman who go lured into prostitution by financial difficulties.
Hi thanks I’ll read the book. I’m Taking it day by day. Hopefully i can stay away from the business permanently.
Hi there, I stumbled upon your blog from somewhere..read your posts for quite some while! I have to say you are a very talented writer and I wish you all the best..Hope you get out of the “cycle” and move onto something else before it damages you permanently. From the little that you have shared on here I can tell you have a good and pure heart.
All the best
Layla
Hi Layla,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I have seen your blog before and have enjoyed many articles. You are also a great writer, and seem to have a fascinating life. I look forward to your posts.
With love, S
I am a married man, 33 years from East, and have a beautiful child. I am pursuing research by profession, so still studying. My wife, who looks fairly pretty is not actually at all satisfying me sexually. I have tried my best. More than this, there are few other problems in my relationships in terms of emotional, mental and psychological compatibility. But, I still think, sexual dissatisfaction is something that is frustrating me. I have started seeing escorts from past one year (I am married for almost four years). I have started spending a lot of time in researching on escorts, their life, articles etc. I really admire you for your candidness, truthfulness, purity (I call it purity of heart), honesty and courage. You are a very good writer as well. Now, I realize, how important it is to be sexually satisfied in life and family. I wish, I am liked and loved by a woman who could understand me and my emotion. How can married man remain happy without ever being touched by his wife’s hands in his body especially in sensitive areas. How can a man remain fulfilled with sex without much foreplay and without passionate kissing. How far a man will go kissing his wife and taking care of her sexually and never get those kisses in return. Is there anyway, a man teach a woman or his wife, what he wants? Doesn’t a complete as well as repeated sensual, sexual and affectionate act on his wife tell her the way he wants to be pampered by her in return? Could you suggest me any thing when you have time. Thank you very much
Thank you for sharing your story. I will be dedicating a post to answer your question, as I feel your situation is very common among many patrons of escorts. A lot of men love their wives dearly, but they are seeing escorts due to minimal/no sex at home.
A question I will also address is: what created the conditions where women stray from sex with their husbands due to getting older or having children?
Hello,
Really great to read your diary. I found your diary a week before while searching for my own stuffs in internet. I am reading your dairy everyday bit by bit and I am still reading it.
I have been visiting escorts from past two years. I am not very regular though especially due to financial problems. I came to UK three years back as a student. It actually costs quite high to visit so called high class escorts as advertised. One of the escorts I visited was £220 per hour which was so expensive I should day, but I could have had sex just once. Now I look for one of the lowest range escorts that too only for half an hour, and most of them have been quite good. I often found some escorts very good and I often asked them if they could be my girl friend, and to be honest, I often think these days, I may be lucky enough to find an educated escorts as my long life companion. I wouldn’t mind to move ahead if I am lucky.
I have two questions to you, how can I win a trust of an escort? if its money, I am not in a position at this point. I am a very honest, open minded, sensible guy, and always have been gentle and sensual with escorts. I visit escorts for affection and in fact look some affection and care from them.
In your post, you have written about oral with or without, and also about receiving oral from clients. I am one of those clients to be honest with you. As a person, I truly love french kiss which is something that gives me an immense satisfaction than anything else, and I like giving orals as well. It is not because I am visiting escorts but also because I love it. I have most of the time (except when escort didn’t agree rarely), gone for oral without, french kissing and oral giving. I would also do the same when I have my girlfriend/partner/wife if they agree. My question here is, if I am visiting an escort which seem to have good personal hygiene, well groomed, is there a big risks of having oral without and giving oral to escort? What do u suggest personally?
Sorry to write to you such a long post. I hope to read you very soon.
thanks.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
To answer your first question: Sorry to inform you, but most women in this industry aren’t really concerned about clients unless money is involved. You can be the sweetest, kindest, most loving and respectful person, but be mindful that an escort can often have many options (in men). Sadly, such qualities aren’t enough to make her trust you for a purpose other than making money from you. She will be more warm to a man who has those qualities and pays her decent money. I have met lovely clients indeed, who are selfless and willing to work hard to impress/please me. But I have no place for them in my life, unless money is involved. It’s the bitter truth. Unless I am deeply in love, perhaps, but again money and financial security is part of the gaining her trust.
To answer your second question: I understand that you, like most of us, desire more than just sex itself. For many, it is the foreplay (oral, kissing, cuddles) that is as exciting as the sex itself. The problem is being truly intimate with an escort is a bit of gamble for clients — you can never truly know if she will want it or not. Secondly, these acts are quite intimate, which many escorts might cringe at the idea of being too intimate with a client. As I mentioned on my blog, some escorts can enjoy themselves and do feel aroused with *some* clients (but not all). And equally many girls are strictly doing this for money, so either they don’t want pleasure or they will just do it out of obligation.
Oral sex uncovered poses risks, but for many it really depends on the circumstance. In reality sometimes the rules are breached, depending on the girl, her comfort level, your comfort level, etc. For instance, I don’t perform oral without condoms. Contrary, I do allow some trusted, hygienic clients to perform oral on me. Sounds rather hypocritical, since I won’t do the same for my clients. The notion of tasting a clients fluids is ghastly and I simply cannot do it. But if they enjoy tasting me, and they are well-groomed, I embrace it in some circumstances. I find that most clients want to give oral– therefore, they must assume I am safe and hygienic.
It would be ideal if you could find a girlfriend/life-partner (rather than escort) to experience your desires. I’d be cautious of escorts who offer oral sex uncovered for all her clients — choose one who is more discerning, and who markets herself as ‘safe.’
Hi,
Thank you very much ! First, I am being from a science/health related background, despite of knowing a risks in principle/theory, your answer gave me an idea of risks in real world scenario. Second, I am being a sexually and emotionally dissatisfied married man who is not in a position to come out of my existing life at this point of time, visiting escorts has given me an opportunity to maintain my emotional health, sexual satisfaction and married life too. I do think, I am being so dishonest to my life, but in life, things come with options, and I had to choose one. Probably, it is also a kind of social pressures to maintain my married life (As you have mentioned in your posts). Thanks !
Have you thought of writing a book? Haven’t you thought of compiling your posts into a book? As an educated reader of your post, I believe your experiences, thoughts and advises not only will help hundreds of thousands of men and women to understand their life, relationships and sexuality, but also will provide insight into these businesses and, will guide guides those people in/directly related to escorting. I would strongly encourage you to write a book. You have always an option either to disclose or not to disclose your identity. And you deserve to be a world class writer/author.
Hello,
I wonder if you ever come out from this world but you may end your hunt by making a strong decision that may leave you in stress for a short span of time but trust me it is more satisfying than you are working as a sex worker.
I’ve had come across many personalities while traveling to different countries who shared their views on escorts (a shortcut to hell), but at the same time i realized that situations sometime play a significant role in destroying you.
I have a great sympathy on you and i wish you could end this blackness from your life and enlighten your life with “self- actualization” and “Spiritual-awareness”. “One strong
decision and you are out of hell”.
Thanks!!
What an amazing woman!! Listen it is strong women like you that inspire women like me. Chin up huni
I stumbled upon your blog and I was awed. It is very well-written! Also, it brought me back the bad memory many years ago when I was in debt & very desperate. I tried to be an escort and took on my first client. He was a cheat who refused to pay up, and that’s it, I decided I couldn’t continue with this career at all. I felt remorseful & stupid to the point I nearly wanted to end my life. You are a strong & wise woman. God loves you, do not forget that. He will take you back and open other doors of opportunity for you, if you are willing. Whatever circumstances you are going through, they will all work out for the better. Take courage and quit this industry, Sister. Sending you lots of love & prayers.
Wow your writing is very helpful for me. I have been involved with this escort/ girlfriend for over 5 years now. We have had many ups and downs. Funny how the heart works I am not a rich man but I am stable. My question is how would I know if she really loves me?
The question should be: is she ready to let you love her?
The reason I ask that is how does one know, she has now moved away, we still talk and I visit at least once a month. How do I know when it is work or real?
It’s also not so easy to interpret her intentions. She may love and care about you, but she is also thinking about her own survival. Or, she might be taking advantage of you and not care at all. It’s my understanding that there is a big distinction between work and real intimacy — if you and her have great chemistry, then it’s real.
Hi am about to do my first ever shift with a high class escorting business and I am also nervous can you please write a blog on your first ever client and some tips…. My reasons for going from a degree holder and very independent women to going into this field goes very deep… I love reading our blogs as I am about to enter this world and have no one to relate to or talk to…
Thank you for commenting and I am very sorry to hear you have to resort to this. My blog gives many reasons how this industry is not worth the emotional trauma, but if you have already made your choice then it is better to get wholesome advice to stay safe. I will try my best to write a post soon dedicated to such advises.
Hi Sarah,
I was wondering how this went for you? I’m seriously thinking about getting into escorting, I’ve done it once as a one off but would like to get into it part time? Any advice on how to?
Thanks
This was an interesting read and blog, although I have not read all of it, there were several areas of interest…
I think Eastern region for one thing is especially strict regarding sex. My understanding is that many men from this part of the world, however, especially those with money, engage escorts and prostitutes particularly on business trips outside of their own countries. So this is very brave writing, what you blog about here.
Sex, in and of itself, is quite different for men and women…women tend to need emotional stimulation before physical…most men do not (my opinion only).
Morally, I think that the sale of sex is basically wrong, although I understand the various reasons for it (after all it is known as the “oldest profession”). As we see from comments above about “all men being pigs”, both provider and client, both male and female, are damaged from it.
For similar reasons, if you are truly “in love” with someone, I would imagine to have sex with some stranger, whether you are well paid for it or not, would be almost impossible…having been in love myself and also being a male, to be honest I would not even care to look at another woman in this situation.
However I also am no angel myself, nor have I lived a holy life. Yes I have patronized escorts…it is a risky business, fraught with both performance and nervousness issues…the so-called “GFE” experience, well, it can be very mechanical, rules-based, cold sex; possibly friendly, usually not very satisfying for either person.
Better for me to have a girlfriend, lover, or wife who satisfies my needs. Someone I am connected to.
I wish you all blessings and the ability to eventually escape this life and find your true partner.
Thank you for comments. You mention a lot of ideas that are very much the product of popular discourse (popular stereotypes on gender roles, sexuality, etc).
I would like to mention that ‘Eastern’ regions were not always ‘strict.’ A lot of the strictness that may exist in SOME parts is very much the outcome of the Modern nation-state and globalization processes. If one glimpses into historical literature of many regions of the ‘East’ they would find very sexuality is very complex and fluid, and in many cases open and accepted.
I do agree that sex work in a Modern context is very problematic in certain contexts. It’s problematic because of social stigmas, laws, trafficking and the degradation of many sex workers. However, I don’t think it was always this problematic. In other times and places, sex work has manifested itself in many different ways, such as a form of empowerment for women.
As well, you mentioned the difference stances on sex between men and women. I would like to highlight these so-called differences are socially constructed. Female sexuality is devalued in many Modern contexts, which gives rise to the discourse that women equate sexuality through emotions while men do not. This idea you mentioned is part is the outcome of asymmetrical gender roles imposed on men and women, which is not universal by any means.
Your blog is an enthralling read. Only other exposure is through TV (Secret Diaries of a Call Girl).
1) How did you decide to do escorting instead of adult films? Is escorting better paying? More discreet?
2) I know it’s notoriously difficult for men to break into the adult industry. The life style seems like a great way to earn some extra cash. Is there anyway for a heterosexual man to break into the industry servicing only women? Servicing gay men as well (gay-for-pay)?
3) I was wondering how your relationship and desire to leave the industry has changed by the Sheik’s graduation and return to the kingdom. When he’s gone is it harder to justify leaving the industry, are you more comfortable with clients, take more clients? You’ve reflected a lot on the ex-fiancé, do you think it’s a mistake to date a former client again? Any fear that you’ll break yet another heart if the allure of the money and independence outweigh the Sheik’s love (vulnerability)? Is it easier / less competition to be in a university city, or is it more difficult because clients are scarcer and it doesn’t have quite the same anonymity as a big city like London?
Dear Exotic Diary,
Came across your diary today, it’s really been so informative and gives the opportunity for each human being to apprehend the wealth of desires that we seek and live within in this life. It’s also to learn and know that we have everything today an abundance of comfort; we have been showered by gadgets with the growth of science and technology, we have Facebook, internet, enough credit cards to borrow as much from banks, foodies like McDonald’s, Pizza Huts and to add to the flavours mouth watering Krispy Kreme donuts, uncountable movies television programmes and channels video games and what not. Still we are not happy… We had a simple life 30 years ago and were contented with whatever food was served by our granny, simple steamed rice poured with dal accompanied by fresh fried potatoes, fish was forced in our diets and mouths perhaps once or twice a month and we just hated that. We would walk to school and in my later years would ride a bicycle to school. Now things have changed and the new generation has skipped the hardships that life would teach us. Everything is so reachable. Even an escort in any part of the world ! I admire the writer for the blog she has created ! It gives an insight to the character of the the kama sutra as a person. Its not about money but the desires of an unsatiated thirst that each one has in today’s life. So it’s not only that each man yearns for touch but that warmth and shelter and energy that helped him grow from the day he and his hunger was fulfilled when he sucked from nectar from his mothers breasts.
The writer has a wonderful flair of an art of writing and gives us an understanding of the vacuum each one of us may be going through or is going through at some point in our life and lifestyle.
Bloggers would also be delighted to view more on Osho discourses.
The hindi movie devdas is also realistic story and has depicted the pain of joy and pain of sorrowand why men mostly fall in love in the arms of an escort. A man always owes to an escort as he owes to his wife. In this situation the Sheik too has tried always to pay dues. Whatever he paid is only a fraction compared to what he got back. An immeasurable wealth of love attention warmth protection shelter that Allah may have wanted he deserved fom our beloving escort.
A Taj Mahal should be built, and am sure that would what Sheik could have never afforded !!
Lots of love
Yank
Hi there.
I have a gf and have been philandering in the WDC area with escorts and fell in love with one that later went insane on me and hysterical. Through your blog..I realized she overworked and framed herself as a victim (I did already know that)
I have now acquaintances with a number of pros. I have a number of women that are essentially part of my private network of lovers…from lawyers from Ivy league schools to strippers that never had a chance in our society. The odyssey is difficult to describe. I have used it to learn about myself and others. I was always fascinated and raised in a strict catholic family that interfered with a normal sex life and relating to women and thus had me awkwardly repressed during important late teenage years.
Later I had lovers and vowed never to get married because my mother did not want me. I never did married. I enjoy my solitude and I now think my best friends are stuffed animals.
I have been a successful Electronics Engineer BSEE with Honors and minor in Computer Science) with a specialization in RF Engineering and Telecommunications. My home has thousands of books and more than a thousand compact discs of music, etc… I am also self educated way beyond University and when I go to the doctor I usually know the details of my diagnosis beyond anything they can piece together.
Sometimes they are afraid of me and send me away. I do not watch Television. I get my news from talking to people and the Internet.
I often receive highly prejudice treatment particularly from clerks for facial hair. I have acquired a lengthy beard over the years. I used to keep it esquire short…but eventually grew it longer to my liking. Most immediately assume it is religious. I have been grabbed (clutching my arm in a steely grip) in grocery stores by older men claiming I look like the Rabbi, given deathly stares from clean shaven men on public transportation as if I am about to blow the vehicle up or some such non-sense. I have had women give me the cold shoulder and also practically throw them selves at me of all ages (usually after sexual excapades…one women I trust with near psychic intuition told me this was pheromones…who knows…but, we are talking prototypical so-called good looking women dropping their jaw and fawning in a way that can be explained only by some sort of energy transfer. You know when you pass two blondes that falter for words…you are balding, skinny and wearing a beard and basically just reasonably physically attractive, but they know nothing about you…their conversation halts in a faltering stutter and they just gawk as you walk by…after you have been interlocked in a three hour embrace that something IS going on.). I know the work is painful for you…perhaps try framing it differently and realize that maybe you are also a healer/energy worker. I can tell you as a man…that women practically trip over themselves when I have seen someone that has resonated with me. It is uncanny. It is like a movie. They (what you refer to as “normal” i.e., “Normative” women) start to nearly trip over their own feet, blush, fall over, spill their coffee, etc… I am an applied scientist (engineer by training and profession) and contend our science is primitive. There is no doubt because of the anomalous nature of the experience, many only get glimpses of this via successful lovemaking with their spouse over the weekend. But, if that has withered… well then the energy must be created elsewhere…and some are what I call “naturals.” The Naturals acually limit the number of clients they see and totally focus on a low vol clientele. It is only something one can relate to, if they have experienced it.
I am characterized by my gf as an “original.” I would say this is true. I do something that is characterized as verbotten in this world…I think for myself. I have extremely strong principles and adhere to the code of honor. Academically, I was bound by the Honor Code in my University.
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That is a bit about me.
Your blog is outstanding and has helped me deal with a variety of feelings I have and understand the industry I am tangoing with.
I have also provided your blog link to other high class escorts such as yourself and recommended it as (even if familiar) a valuable resource to read. I think you have done a great service “coming out of the closet enough as an educated and thoughtful soul to share your inner conflicts from the weaknesses to your attempts to come to some sort of balance based on your experiences. What I find extremely valuable is the reflection, the introspection and the willingness to embrace your own self that,while multifaceted found an insidious weakness that this career in our hypocritical cultural context created for you…an isolation. Does this mean you were wrong. Does this mean your choices were bad? Does this mean the culture imposes an undue burden on you as a person? I do not think there is a right answer. I think sometimes in life there are only questions and it is important for us to be at peace with the uncertainty of such questions.
Yes. I think I pretty much read your entire blog. It took me days.
Great Love, Hugs, and Kisses,
Xoxo.
Matthew John Hammett
Reston, VA
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Let your soul roam free… and, while it does…do be practical and begin a savings plan that is synchronized with the real world and begin to invest for your future and retirement. You are basically self employed and good at what you do.. You should shove your money into the bank and plan to invest it in a portfolio. Do not become fatalistic and completely foolishly live in the moment entirely.
PS — and yes, if you find it healing..then: Blessings, Alhamdulillah, etc…
Care for yourself and do not fall into self pity nor the guilt that repressed men heap on you or jealous women for that matter.
Your blog was not lost on me. ~
<3
I have been in the escorting world for the last five years and it is not a profession I would recommend to anyone. Although I have met lovely people along my journey and the fast money has assisted in fulfilling financial goals, the emotional toll of this profession is immensely high and albeit, very difficult to put into words. Let’s start from the beginning…. I was born into a single-parent family, my mother was loving and did the best she could but a succession of health and other social problems meant my childhood was far from normal. I was diagnosed with crohn’s disease at age 7 and by 12 had to undergo a full colectomy. My father, in the short involvement he had in my life was emotionally abusive and due to my health I always felt extremely socially isolated in childhood. Flash forward a few years my life was looking brighter… I met some beautiful (who I strongly affirm) will be lifelong friends in my high school years, I graduated high school with high grades and got accepted into a health course in a leading Australian university. I also met my (who I believed) was my soul mate at the time at age 17 and we were married soon after. My health improved dramatically and I was fortunate enough to have had my colectomy reversed. Life, I believed, was finally going to turn out how I always dreamed and happiness had never been more abundant. However, by age 23 my ex and I ended our marriage as he decided to convert back to Hinduism. Although I loved him and followed him on the transformation (which led me to leave Christianity and make the conversion to Hinduism), the lifestyle readjustments proved inextricably difficult; I couldn’t keep up and at the end of the day, he chose religion over our marriage and ended our union. Concentrating on my studies became all too difficult and I failed out of my health course just 6 months short of completion…. All my life I had aspired to be a wife and work in the health industry so failing so miserably at 2 major life ambitions before age 25 was devastating. I still can’t identify how or why, but a short time later I ended up dabbling in the escorting industry. At first I was elated as it seemed that this was the first thing in my life where I actually attained success-clients seemed to enjoy my company (despite what some people still believe, there is much more to escorting than mere sex), I got a great flow of regulars, travelled around Australia on tours and for the first time, actually felt like what I was doing was making a difference in people’s lives. I developed a holistic bond with many of my clients, many of whom had endured health conditions and marriage break – ups themselves. Not surprisingly, I found I connected better with clients at least decade older than me. It was all rosy at first and escorting facilitated a few international trips and the purchase of a small little run down but homely villa I now call home. However, five years later I want more than anything to leave the industry, I’m completely warn out, feel used and abused, watched my friends get married, have babies, fulfil career aspirations whilst vicariously wishing that was me. I have not had a partner in over 5 years, I guess I just want to protect people I love from this world- it would not be fair to drag a partner into it. However, depression issues, feeling completely directionless with my life, not to mention an incomplete education, has left me feeling that there is no way forward. I feel so truly blessed that I have a supportive small group of family and friends, however, guilt attributed to what I was doing, coupled with feeling like this mess is all my fault, made it really hard to open up to them, despite wanting to more than anything in the entire world. I have no idea what the future holds or how I will get out of the rut I’m in now….I dream of being happy, one day married with children and in a fulfilling career….right now I feel like I’m at the end of road and I don’t know how to cultivate the energy or even where to start in fulfilling other endeavours- I guess I just feel like everything has been taken from me and I have nothing left to give. Although escorting may seem like a quick fix, or even like a glamorous alternative to the norm I urge anyone who is considering this profession to please, please seek an alternative path. Escorting causes inextricable damage and your life will never be the same again-trust me I know xx
Thank you for sharing your story. It really breaks my heart, because your feelings of hopelessness are very familiar to me. Through all these years, I keep trying to wonder why this lifestyle has negative implications. How can it be? Clients are often great to us (as you mentioned). The problem is not the clients, nor the fact we are having sex without love. What is problematic is that we have no place for us in society. The stigma affects us. The fact we ‘disrupt’ gender norms causes us to be marginalized.
We know that the public society will condemn us, so we are forced to isolate ourselves. Sure, we may find decent people who do not judge us, but it still doesn’t change the fact that society has given us no significance. I know some ‘extreme’ escorts who are very open about their lifestyles and mingle with others who have ‘alternative’ lifestyles. Yet personally, I never wanted to ‘come out’ and publicize that I am prostitute. Why do I need to the tell world about my sexual habits? I, like yourself, desired a ‘normal’ life with ‘normal’ people — but I was in denial. The reason I wanted normalcy was because it was a form of security — we all want to belong to a group, we fear of being an outsider. Yet being a prostitute is anything but ‘normal’– I had to come to terms with this reality. Norms are constructed, and norms change. Most importantly: being non-normative isn’t a bad thing at all. In fact, I embrace it now. Now, I accept that my life is ‘queered’ from the norm. As an academic, I am very critical of current ‘Modern’ norms. I am trying to stop looking for ‘straight’ lines in life — it just simply cannot work. Yes, we can still marry or be in a committed relationship, yet we must be with a partner who understands and accepts our complex lifestyles.
I really like how you mentioned your ‘holistic’ bond with clients. I truly understand this too. I empathize with lots of clients, because many are truly genuine in their respect and politeness. Many clients have their own hardships as well. Given that the world is increasingly becoming individualistic, a lot of men face difficult conditions to meet and connect with women. Many clients are grateful to prostitutes for being there to care for them in a relatively increasingly ‘cold’ society.
Education can always be a ‘backup’ for us, so I do hope you finish your studies when you are able too. Please stay in touch. I hope this blog can be an outlet for yourself and share more of your thoughts.
Kind Regards and Blessings.
I would like to discuss a couple of your points that you have made. “the public society will condemn us, so we are forced to isolate ourselves”. Very often, I think, it is the person or that particular group of persons, who marginalize themselves. How often have we heard of people using sweage workers, plumbers, or other similar types of workers being used as examples of “derogatory” professions? Yet they are a very important part of the society. They contribute to the society same as any other profession (in fact their work is much much harder and in worse conditions than many other jobs). Without their contribution, society would be in such terrible, unlivable conditions that it may not be able to survive. And yet, their professions are often being viewed as valueless, dirty and worthless. Human sexuality is a normal trait, just like in any animal species. The society tries to pretend that humans are more “civilized” and tries, unsuccessfully, to cover and mask this uncontrollable and inherant trait. This leads to people trying to seek outlets to satisfy this trait secretly (both males and females). Society is made of hypocritic persons. I think, everyone should stand up, feel proud of what each person can contribute to the society and remove that hypocritic mask. Fight for each own’s rights and status and not let others run all over them. Like you said, escorts fill the void in this “cold” society. Escorts help those who might otherwise not be able to function as well if they have not been given this venue to restore their “normalcy in the human traits”. They help to restore the balance in the normal physiological functions of humans. Every person (except criminals) should deserve a place and a status in this world. It is time that everyone should stand together and be recognized for what each has to offer-there is no worthless profession.
I understand what you are trying to say: that undervalued professions and workers are, in fact, very valuable in society (despite mainstream ideas). Yes, I agree. In capitalistic societies, it is the reality that the hardest working people are, unfortunately, paid less and received less social status. This is why capitalism as a model is hardly humane or equal.
However, I have to disagree on your point of persons marginalizing themselves. (1) Prostitutes do not marginalize themselves, and (2) the marginalization of prostitutes is in no comparison to that of a sewage worker or plumber. Sure, those professions are under valued and carry the stigma of being working class in some contexts. Yet, unlike prostitutes, they are not condemned or silenced from society, and most importantly they are not criminalized. There is a big difference if a child told his teacher, “My Mom’s a prostitute,” rather than saying, “My Dad’s a plumber.” It simply cannot be compared on the same level.
But you are right in that prostitutes are an important part of society (despite government measures to condemn and silence us). A client once said how thankful he was for me, as an escort, because if I didn’t exist he would have no outlet for companionship and intimate care. Further, prostitutes become more ‘needed’ when societies become increasingly individualistic. People no longer have security with their relationships or families, which results in further isolation. In this way, prostitutes are an outlet for some.
Hi, I just discovered you blog. I’m not a high-end prostitute, though. I’m just, a prostitute, who’s writing a blog. I notice from your ‘about’-page that you have different feelings towards the profession, than I have. Maybe it’s because you’re more experienced? Maybe it’s because we life in different countries? (I have a Sout-East-Asian roots, but I live in Western-Europe).
Maybe because we engage in prostitution for different reasons? Anyway, I ask too much question. I should read some of your blog first
I love being an escort. I dont care what anyone thinks. Its like having a wealthy husband and not having to live with him, and you can do this til old age if you save money for cosmetic procedures the way other wealthy women do. We are wealthy and carefree, lots of free time and many of my clients have been cute. I have always loved sex, too. Paul is right, most men are pigs. I didnt come to that conclusion via escorting, but rather from dating. If you think otherwise you are naive. I love men, for fun, but I dont take them too seriously. Also too many women join escorting who dont belong in it. If you are going to be overly emotional, falling in “love”, hating your clients and yourself, and overall brain washed by societys standards of what is “proper”, then change jobs. You are doing your clients a disservice by providing crappy experiences. Just saying!
Thank you for sharing that. However, our mentalities are differing.
If this job helps you to supplement your values in life, then surely it can be good.
I never stated in my blog that I hate clients. Clients are not the problem. My blog is showcasing the implications of being an escort in a society that is hostile to women with ‘deviant’ lifestyles.
I am a very sexual person, and I do enjoy most clients, which makes this job sound ideal. However, this does not change the fact that we face social stigma. Money cannot compensate for the social condemnation of society, which influences our relationships outside of work. For myself and others, wealth and beauty are not the only ways to live a satisfying life. One can have money and abundance, yet their values are more simplistic: love, spirituality and family.
It’s very easy to say women who are ‘overly emotional’ should not be escorts. That view totally ignores the reality of WHY women are resorting to sex work. Many women who entered the sex industry were not aware of the implications of their involvement, therefore it’s invalid to argue that women in this industry made the ‘choice’ to do this. Furthermore, once a woman has sold her body, it’s not so easy to transition into another job. I find what you said highly arrogant and also ignorant of the realities of sex workers other than yourself.
Finally, your statement of ‘all men are pigs’ shows your experiences have been quite narrow. There is no universal behavior for men or women.
have just fallen in love with you. Okay that’s a bit strong – but what a lovely heart you have. Like so many others here I enjoy the way you communicate the most sensitive and complex issues without being dogmatic or judgmental. But can I ask everyone to look at things from a more ‘natural’ angle? Men are not pigs – women are not whores. We all are here primarily to reproduce. That is the driving force behind everything that lives: To do that we must have sex. Nature has evolved so as not to put all its eggs in one basket. Sex is linked to love and affection but also to violence and war. Sex can be fun, cruel, cold, passionate and lusty or full of tenderness. That is not a choice humans make – it is nature’s way of ensuring procreation. We have to all mange the powerful sexual needs within us to the best of our ability. Most of us hope for love and sexual fulfilment with one person who is a ‘soul mate’. (In that I have been lucky. My sexy, fun loving wife for 28 years is still my best friend and our 2 daughters are a constant joy.) You only have to understand the different (but overlapping – so no clear lines here) needs of males and females to see why there are conflicts. We both need love so there is nothing to argue about there but on top of that? Women need security more than men because they produce the young and will be vulnerable for a long period of time. Men need sex because nature needs them to. If they don’t get regular sex (according to the individual sex drive) they will go insane. Too strong a word? Read any religious writing by celibate priests to see what madness ensues or study the constant sexual attacks throughout history on young children by celibate monks etc, etc.
It is all down to how we handle those needs in the best way our individual upbringing and cultures allow. Escorting/prostitution/marriage for wealth, are all attempts to supply the female need for security with the male need for regular sex. They all fall short because they are not the product of love which is the common bond that each uses to trust the other. Looking for a constant and sure love is impossible in those situations because you have subscribed to a world of pretence and lying. Love can happen but how can you tell when you are paying someone to pretend to care for you? Where does the act stop and the truth begin?
You talk of sex workers as being marginalised but don’t you see what a threat you are to many married women who are afraid their husbands/partners are not being sexually satisfied by them. Many married women believe rightly or wrongly that their husband will desert them if they stop providing sex and in many relationships that is all there is. Every relationship goes through difficult patches. How easy to find solace and sexual pleasures with willing women for money rather than fight to patch up the relationship? Rational or not that is why men secretly like prostitution and women hate it. It allows men to have sex without the preliminaries of wooing and restaurants and sweet talking. This is not the only reason sex workers are marginalised. There are men who are terrified about being with experienced women because they can compare them physically and emotionally (see men’s fascination and worship of virgins throughout history to explore that frailty of men’s egos). There are men married to women who have naturally lost their drive for sex after reaching a certain age. Nature intends men to be able to fertilize women long after the age where a women stops being able to conceive.
Anyway – I must stop because this is 10 times longer than I intended and I still haven’t said everything I wanted to. Your point about capitalism’s low salaries that drive women towards the sex industry is so true……
Women will always sell sex to men. Men will always buy sex from women. Nature is the driver – all we can do is learn to respect the needs of each other and be kind to one another. Love and best wishes to you.
Hi, here I am again.
I see you genuinely believe in Islam.
I have a question, not directly about prostitution, but rather about your point of view on religion.
Aren’t you afraid of being condemned by Allah, in the hereafter, for the profession you do (or did?), or do you see Allah as a merciful god?
Forgive me for my ignorance, but I am interested in your view on Islam, and how you possibly can ‘combine’ two opposite ways of life.
I approach religion is a more philosophical way, not in a dogmatic way.
I’m interested in religion though, in an intellectual way, but I do not believe.
I personally would not be able to combine my ‘work’ , if I also believed in a religion, such as Islam or Christianity.
You can always send me an e-mail, sayurithatsme@gmail.com.
I don’t want to intrude myself upon you, I’m just very interested in your standpoints.
I must must confess, even as a non-white Western-European citizen in small-narrow-minded country, I have huge prejudices towards ‘people like you’. (people believing is Islam, that is)
I So…if you ever feel like it….
And if I’m starting being annoying, you can say it too, but hopefull I’m not
(B.T.W; Sayuri is not my real name, but you can adress me by this name)
Thank you for sharing your insights as always.
For me, religion is not a fatalism. A person can live their life and believe in God (in their own way). Islam is not against love or against one’s sexuality. Unfortunately, many people judge Islam by certain hadiths or strict interpretations/understandings (fiqh) of the Sharia. Some interpretations have become more strict/warped in current Modern contexts, as a way to deter the influence of the West (and, unfortunately, for political motives). And sadly, Islam and other traditions have been demonized by the Western media, also, to maintain the hegemony of Western-NeoLiberal ideals. It’s up to the individual to understand the essence and do what is right for others and themselves.
For me, the essence of Islam is about how one thinks, how they treat others and their surroundings, and showing gratitude to God. I once read a blogger who said, “I reconcile my religion with me being a human being, not my sexuality or lust in my bedroom.”
I do not fear condemnation from the religion. I try my best to treat others justly. It is the intention, not the action. There is so much spirituality in life. Love, for instance, is the the most beautiful manifestation of God. A lot of Sufi Muslims practice their devotion through the essence of love.
Hope that answered your question
Take care.
thanks