I am a woman who belongs no where in society. It took me years to realize how living an ‘abnormal’ lifestyle made it harder to participate in ‘normal’ life.
I am a high-class escort who lives a seemingly normal lifestyle which consists of attending University and working in the business part-time. This blog is to expose how working as a ‘high-end’ sex worker took over my life like an addiction.
What makes me unique is that I’m an exotic escort, who’s born and raised in the West yet my parents are both immigrants from the Eastern regions of the world. I learned at a young age that many men are quite pleased by my exotic look.
This is my diary of being a high-class prostitute. Selling sex often feels like I’ve sold my soul at times. There is a lot of money to be made in a short amount of time, but the reality is it is not glamorous. Despite being ‘wanted’ all the time and being told constantly how ‘beautiful’ you are….it’s actually quite an empty, shallow life.
I see all sorts of men of different ages and races. Many married women wonder: Why do men pay for sex? Why do married men see prostitutes (escorts)? Others may wonder: what’s it like to be an escort?
Lately, I do not work often as I see my client-turned-lover, a Gulf Arab gentleman. We have fallen in love with each other, but there are political and cultural barriers to creating a future together.
Hi dear.,
I have seen your blog just today itself., Planned to spend for 5 minutes but your writings make me to read few articles.., You are a good writer more than a prostitute, Your emotions are more precious than money. But Money gives all the pleasure except sex, so money is important. I am also in dual mind and i am from india..
Wish you best of luck for future
I stumbled over your pose, while researching for a paper – adult entertainment business and its impact on soceity, for my sociology class. I would just like to leave you with a friendly reminder, that fear the day when you will be resurrected in front of ALLAH and be answerable for using a body which is the property of ALLAH not human being, everything we are given in this life, body, money, relationships, interactions, situations are nothing more than a property or situation of test from ALLAH .
The filth that this act creates in soceity, has far and wide repurcussions. moral and social degradation and total loss from the path of finding mercy of ALLAH.
Fear ALLAH, ask for forgivness from ALLAH and seek ALLAH;s help in leaving this filthy way of life, It will neither avail you anything in this life nor anything in the hereafter, one forgiveness is all it takes with sincerity, to be on the path of success in the hereafter.
I am not judging you or telling you that you are hell-bound, but merely trying to tell u what is the truth so that in the hereafter I will not be responsible for not telling you to leave this way and come back to the path of ALLAH . may ALLAH forgive you and guide you to a pure, clean and pious life. Ameen
Your brother
Inshallah. Thank you for the comment. I am also studying Sociology, so please feel free if you have any questions. Alhamdulillah
Honestly with that answer i just learned a LOT about you. wow and i have to say that we have things in common hehe, i thought i was a rare breed. hehe
I am an escort myself and I agree with you on most things, but I don’t see how u can “fall in Love”. I see at least 6 guys a week for the last 4 years. Each time they repulse me more and more, even if they are cute and clean. All men are the same to me now, dirty, disgusting, pigs. I cannot help the way I feel. I had a young lover (i’m 46 he was 27) and I fell madly in love with him in the beginning of my escort career. As time went on, I didn’t even want him to touch me and I loved him more then anyone I had ever been with. This career has ruined my perception of men, if there are any good ones out there, I will not be able to see it because of the huge cloud before my eyes. I cannot stop escorting because I am addicted to the money and I fear that ev entully my looks will prevent me from doing this. I don’t know how to get out, and I am lonlier then ever. It’s a no-win situation…….
You have to get out of this profession.
The sad truth is that you are probably correct. All men are pigs. Younger women try to remain blind to this truth. Older women realize it eventually.
It’s really a question of how women come to terms with this. Just because men don’t visit prostitutes, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t if there were no consequences.
Thank you for commenting.
However, I disagree with your statement about all men ‘being pigs.’ All men are NOT ‘pigs.’ This is the wrong mentality. Sure, being an escort can make a woman very hardened towards men. Yet she must realize that not all men (nor every client) has the intention to exploit/use her. Some men are bad, sure. But some women can be equally as bad. Blaming an entire sex is an invalid argument, which fails to look how society conditions men and women to behave in certain manners.
Men, just like women, face tremendous pressure to play their gendered roles. There is also no universal trait for men or women, as variety of gender identities exist cross-culturally.
You should think about publishing this into a book. It would sell itself and you could stop selling yourself. Your writing gives a different perspective and understanding about what women in this life style go through, and that they are people too with feelings, wishes, and desires for a better future. May you find what you are looking for, and with happiness.
Thank you so much…peace also to you.
u r rare, u r having a beautiful heart , but u r not doing justice to yourself,
go get free, leave d thing dat makes u feel away from your soul!!
i respect ur emotions.
regards <3
Agreed!! I would buy the book and so many others would too!
I was considering escorting until I read your blog. I realized while reading it that no amount of money would be worth the emotional turmoil I know I would feel afterward. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself on here.
Thank you for sharing that, and I am glad you are beyond this industry. The money is not worth the emotions. Be strong
Hello, I wanted to compliment you on your blog. I literally began a post yesterday, just felt the need to write and share my experience. Its bare bones at the moment, no design, just a glimpse of me. Check it out if you can. http.//soyouwanttobeahighendescort.blogspot.com….XO
Thanks for commenting and good luck on your blog. I look forward to it
The sheik has played you for a fool.
Only time will tell…
What if the Sheikh goes bankrupt? Will your love prevail?
How refreshing it is to read your blog! You are a very good writer and have a talent here!
It was a relief to read the words that we can find some clients who try to please us – the thought of it is repulsive. Usually they are doing nothing wrong, they are quite often highly respectful, punctual, pay the right amount etc. They are ordinary decent, hardworking men, who you can imagine would treat a woman very well. But there’s something we can’t explain – just no chemistry – yet they keep coming back again and again.
I find I can’t see regular clients for too long (say over 2 years). There’s no logical explanation for it, other than you keep feigning intimacy with them when it’s not real. To them, it’s their fantasy which gives them fuel, a spring in their step. But to us – it’s draining our energy.
We give it, and enjoy the lifestyle that comes with it. It feels as if we lose our soul a bit but we are compensated with working whenever we please, on our own terms, if we feel like it, etc. I often become grateful after seeing ‘check-out’ chicks slaving away all day long at the cash register and see them pushed around by their superiors.
Thanks for commenting Laura. I agree with your perspective and thanks for sharing. Indeed the lack of chemistry is why we don’t desire clients who are handsome, sweet and respectful.
It is nice not having a ‘boss’ …we are very independent, yet this escorting world isolates us — it makes us too independent.
WOW ! WOW! WOW! I AM SPEECHLESS HUNNY! YOU ARE JUST EXTRAORDINARILY AMAZING, DO U HAVE A FACEBOOK WHERE I CAN ADD U AS A FRIEND, your blog woke me up and i enjoyed reading every article u wrote there… stay blessed dear
Thank you…:) I don’t have a Facebook currently
I just came across your blog when you followed mine
I am fascinated by your writing, your experience, and your client-turned-lover Sheikh…and I feel for you, reading about the emotional toll this lifestyle has had on you. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say and getting to know you a bit.
Thank you kindly. I love your blog and your mind. I had spent hours browsing it. Will comment soon on your posts
You look so gorgeous on your photos. I’m pretty sure you’re busy with the industry. Best of luck to you. <3
I love reading your post!! I have always been so curious about the life of a high end exotic escort.
I am starting to miss your writing…Looking forward to your new posts.
Love
You write extremely well and I enjoyed some of your cultural insights. It’s obvious that you are aware of your profession being fraught with emotional and physical problems and you are intelligent enough to realise that this cannot continue forever.
What I find perplexing is why you continue upon a path that causes you suffering? You can have meaningful sex elsewhere, you can find intellectual stimulation from your studies and clever friends, and you are bright enough to earn a living elsewhere.
As your friend Tony pointed out men often think of ladies in your profession as ‘whores’ and as people they can discard, so would it not be best to change now and fulfil all your human potential and be happy with a partner that values you as a person and not simply an object of temporary desire?
You mention a little about Islam and Muslims and I thought of this hadith: http://hadithqudsi.sacredhadith.com/hadith-qudsi-34/
On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say:
“Allah the Almighty said:
‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.
O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you.
O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.’”
It was related by at-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its chain of authorities is sound.
I hope the best for you and I hope you find solace and happiness.
Thank you for commenting. I am not doing escorting for the purpose of sexual stimulation per say. As I mentioned, I do this because I am extremely addicted to the money from this job.
The sex industry is not so black and white. Not every client views escorts as insignificant or ‘whores.’ Ironically, many clients respect us and often even admire us (and some clients, if given the chance, may enter relationships and marry with escorts).
Hello,
I shall keep this brief, as here in Australia it is midnight. I am 29 years old. I started working for a fairly famous and very high class bordello -stiletto- in Sydney, Australia when I was 20. I’ve come back in and out of the industry. Loving the cash, but being to immature to realize it just wouldn’t last forever. The money would dry up and all i’d be left with- outdated clothing:( and due to repeated leaving for man after man after man… Each time truly believing I’d found true love. Each time I was treated worse than the previous. Now I have finally left my last disastrous relationship and after spending a month or so getting super duper together emotionally again and starting to love and appreciate myself for the first time in I could not even say how long I am caring only about what’s right FOR MOI;) Along with this I have, I think, made the decision to go back to escorting- but THIS TIME- because I am 29 and no spring chicken -good time-only-party new to the industry I have decided I WILL NOT be paying any agency half or any house 60-70% plus bonds ect to work really in what is just basic ‘prostitution’ no knack to it, no airs and graces, no real manners or grooming and deportment training necessary. It’s just sex for quick usually small amounts of cash. I worked for a worldwide very high profile escort agency AFTER the high class bordello – And I would go and pick my cheques up from the managers/owners of the agency- they lived in a gorgeous apartment, with a chef and personal trainers, they spent their holidays travelling the world. And although they were charging $800-$1000p/hour for my time and service, I was only seeing A HALF OF THAT! I spoke to an escort friend of mine now in her 50′s and still slogging away at a ‘apparent high class’ bordello, I told her I had decided to work for MYSELF. She tried SO, SO very hard to just talk me out of it! Telling me ALL the reasons why it wouldn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, work. She had looked into it and the overheads just too high. But when I sat down and wrote up a proper business plan and feasibility study etc it seemed to MORE than show extreme viability on paper! So now, although I feel that I should use the next 5 years (until 33-34) to work my little butt off marketing myself as probably the ONLY truly high class, well educated, excited, groomed and trained with life experience escort/courtesan in my city. In the market research I performed there just was NOT anyone single lady offering what I would like to and most importantly CAN HONESTLY offer:) I feel that after all I’ve lost- in many ways to this industry (things I won’t mention here, but certainly not any such things which have left me in anyway bitter towards the industry- but I just feel now is the ONLY time I will EVER have to recoup my losses due to leaving this industry for pathetic-promise the world-deliver-utterly-NOTHING-men!!! I feel I don’t have long left, age wise, to be able to offer my services at the class level and price range I shall be asking. I am excited to be honest about the prospects, and travel opportunities, financial security and education that could all be built out of my working incredibly hard over the next little while. I fully intend on paying tax, so as to build a property portfolio and my long term financial stability. I also intend on investing a lot into furthering my education (I was studying law/psychology at uni and would like to continue this at some point in the near future so as to have something to build a career with outside of and far away from this industry
I guess my question to you my friend, is what do you think of my plan? I am based in Canberra, ACT. Which is Australia’s capital city and whilst certainly not the biggest city it is I suppose like Washington DC in many ways due to all politics being run from here, parliament house is here and the government comes from all over the country to sit for parliament on a regular basis- politicians are one of a working ladies biggest slices of ‘bread n butter’ I’ve been told here in the ACT. It is also just won the title of most expensive city to live in Australia but almost in the world these days! So! People clearly have money! And it is literally filled with public servants whom have long been known to hire escorts and stay longer. They are reputed to have a lot of luxury disposable income to burn and they love de-stressing with a beautiful high class intelligent lady;) And as I stated above- my market research mostly proved that Canberra is over run by the following;
*transexuals
*massage only
*older larger ladies with the shocking ad copy- “little bit older, little bit bolder, not over the hill, still able to thrill”….. Ummmmm somehow I don’t think I even WANT to compete to keep company with the type of ‘gentleman’ whom would read this ad, call and ACTUALLY go ahead with this booking- given that a friend (a male) of mine whom has helped me with my market research(I send him to visit and stay with ladies around the area and he reports back- As an escort veteran-he’s never even been inside a parlour-he’ll only see escorts- and he WASN’T happy at having to investigate this frightening ad lol;) went to see her and refused to stay as she certainly lived up to the copy and more! Not only was she A LOT OLDER AND A LOT BIGGER- she works from a dingy apartment on the outskirts of town with cats crawling around everywhere, and the ‘little bit bolder’ came into play most surely when HE- YES HE!!! – HAD TO BEG HER TO USE PROTECTION (condom) she refused many times-reassuring that she could tell when men are clean! And he said- its not me I’m worried about!!! How many men are you servicing ILLEGALLY /IMORALLY/UNETHICALLY everyday in this disease spreading fashion! He grabbed his clothes and RAN! And assured he was NOT happy with myself for the market research ‘perks’ that particular day which will stay etched in his traumatized mind!!;) anyway there are maybe 8 girls whom would be somewhere close to decent looking enough to work in a highclass bordello whom live and work from serviced apartments mainly in the city. But NONE of them whom I’ve researched so far (and I’m so sorry if this sounds rude) NONE of them are attractive naturally – they are either too large, covered in stretch marks, no breasts, on any number of drugs and totally unprofessional, covered in tattoos, old women, skanky looking young and middle aged women etc ect… The couple of truly stunning and by the sounds of their websites are the ‘real deal’ and I guess what I would like to launch myself as eg: website. Business cards ect… They are NOT based permanently and on a fulltime basis in Canberra. They come on ‘holidays or tours’ or special bookings. You have to book well in advance, so I believe so far I may be one of maybe one or two girls permanently based in Canberra who do this for a living whilst also educating themselves, saving, building property portfolios, spending money to make money, investing, paying tax and throughouly caring for themselves both inside and out, so as to be the best to only have to accept the very best. So I believe that qualifies somewhat as a niche, yes?
I would really love, appreciate, be honoured with any advice, suggestions, words of wisdom etc that you could maybe offer me.
I want to ask you straight out- do you think I’m being ridiculous, stupid, unrealistic or living in some sordid fantasy world with lovely thick rose coloured glasses glued to my face?
Am I being selfish by refusing to give my ex partner (he was somewhat violent) a second chance and instead following my plan to set myself up for life with just 5 years of full time hectic escorting.
Can you give me any advice or information on what I could do to enable me to morally charge really high prices without losing every client altogether?
I’m SO very sorry that I’ve given you just SO much information on your blog. I truly am. I so need and want this to work. I’m 29 and I don’t get a second chance at this what I believe (and what I know will be hideously-want-to-give-up days) a golden opportunity for me right now. I know it’s not glamorous, but I find ways to make it feel glamorous and glitzy by counting all that money, buying n investing and spending hours at the day spa …. My body is my product it must be cared for yes?
I so look forward to hearing from you, at your earliest convenience.
Thank you,
Best wishes for a lovely Christmas and happy new year,
Olivia.
Hi Olivia,
Thank you for sharing your story. Try to make a plan that will let you leave this line of work. Save your money, and invest in a home or flat rather than spending it on expensive designer goods or day spas.
It’s very terrible they take half of your money in Australia. I have heard about this before. It’s very unjust. Taking 50-60 percent commission inspires greedy people to start escort businesses and exploit sex workers.
I hope my future posts can help you and others
Take care,
Exotic Escort Diary
Hi I was searching for something else online and stumbled across ur blog. I’m an ex escort. I left the business few months ago and moved back home (Norway). It has now been 9 months since I quit.
I got into escorting after leaving my studies. I was studying law in uk, but left my studies and found myself in financial difficulties, so to make some extra cash I got into escort. First it was just casual, then I Went professional, working as a full time independent “high class” escort. However after a year I hated what it was doing to me psychologically, and stupidly enough I fell in Love with one of my ex clients. A married surgeon, a big mistake. Anyway we ended it and I decided to leave the business and moved back home.
Leaving escorting was VERY VERY hard. I was used to making allot of money in short space of time. Now having to get a normal job and earning an average salary was difficult. The temptation to go back is always there. I’ve even had offers from ex clients visiting Norway and wanting a booking, but its not worth it. Ive lost myself in the process of escorting and find it VERY difficult to trust men.
I’ve been single for a year now because I find it hard to trust anyone enough to let them close into me.
I just hope that someday I’ll find peace and happiness and leave this behind me. Inshalla.
Inshallah. Let’s hope you can see the light and get out of the ‘darkness.’ Good for you for quitting. I know how hard it must be. The hardest part is often our former, regular clients …who call or email us (which is so tempting, because often they might be lovely clients). But I hope you can keep it up and let me know how it goes.
Since you are in Europe, I would like to suggest a great British memoir called, “Disgraced” By Saira Ahmed. She is a British-Muslim woman who go lured into prostitution by financial difficulties.
Hi thanks I’ll read the book. I’m Taking it day by day. Hopefully i can stay away from the business permanently.
Hi there, I stumbled upon your blog from somewhere..read your posts for quite some while! I have to say you are a very talented writer and I wish you all the best..Hope you get out of the “cycle” and move onto something else before it damages you permanently. From the little that you have shared on here I can tell you have a good and pure heart.
All the best
Layla
Hi Layla,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I have seen your blog before and have enjoyed many articles. You are also a great writer, and seem to have a fascinating life. I look forward to your posts.
With love, S
I am a married man, 33 years from East, and have a beautiful child. I am pursuing research by profession, so still studying. My wife, who looks fairly pretty is not actually at all satisfying me sexually. I have tried my best. More than this, there are few other problems in my relationships in terms of emotional, mental and psychological compatibility. But, I still think, sexual dissatisfaction is something that is frustrating me. I have started seeing escorts from past one year (I am married for almost four years). I have started spending a lot of time in researching on escorts, their life, articles etc. I really admire you for your candidness, truthfulness, purity (I call it purity of heart), honesty and courage. You are a very good writer as well. Now, I realize, how important it is to be sexually satisfied in life and family. I wish, I am liked and loved by a woman who could understand me and my emotion. How can married man remain happy without ever being touched by his wife’s hands in his body especially in sensitive areas. How can a man remain fulfilled with sex without much foreplay and without passionate kissing. How far a man will go kissing his wife and taking care of her sexually and never get those kisses in return. Is there anyway, a man teach a woman or his wife, what he wants? Doesn’t a complete as well as repeated sensual, sexual and affectionate act on his wife tell her the way he wants to be pampered by her in return? Could you suggest me any thing when you have time. Thank you very much
Thank you for sharing your story. I will be dedicating a post to answer your question, as I feel your situation is very common among many patrons of escorts. A lot of men love their wives dearly, but they are seeing escorts due to minimal/no sex at home.
A question I will also address is: what created the conditions where women stray from sex with their husbands due to getting older or having children?
Hello,
Really great to read your diary. I found your diary a week before while searching for my own stuffs in internet. I am reading your dairy everyday bit by bit and I am still reading it.
I have been visiting escorts from past two years. I am not very regular though especially due to financial problems. I came to UK three years back as a student. It actually costs quite high to visit so called high class escorts as advertised. One of the escorts I visited was £220 per hour which was so expensive I should day, but I could have had sex just once. Now I look for one of the lowest range escorts that too only for half an hour, and most of them have been quite good. I often found some escorts very good and I often asked them if they could be my girl friend, and to be honest, I often think these days, I may be lucky enough to find an educated escorts as my long life companion. I wouldn’t mind to move ahead if I am lucky.
I have two questions to you, how can I win a trust of an escort? if its money, I am not in a position at this point. I am a very honest, open minded, sensible guy, and always have been gentle and sensual with escorts. I visit escorts for affection and in fact look some affection and care from them.
In your post, you have written about oral with or without, and also about receiving oral from clients. I am one of those clients to be honest with you. As a person, I truly love french kiss which is something that gives me an immense satisfaction than anything else, and I like giving orals as well. It is not because I am visiting escorts but also because I love it. I have most of the time (except when escort didn’t agree rarely), gone for oral without, french kissing and oral giving. I would also do the same when I have my girlfriend/partner/wife if they agree. My question here is, if I am visiting an escort which seem to have good personal hygiene, well groomed, is there a big risks of having oral without and giving oral to escort? What do u suggest personally?
Sorry to write to you such a long post. I hope to read you very soon.
thanks.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
To answer your first question: Sorry to inform you, but most women in this industry aren’t really concerned about clients unless money is involved. You can be the sweetest, kindest, most loving and respectful person, but be mindful that an escort can often have many options (in men). Sadly, such qualities aren’t enough to make her trust you for a purpose other than making money from you. She will be more warm to a man who has those qualities and pays her decent money. I have met lovely clients indeed, who are selfless and willing to work hard to impress/please me. But I have no place for them in my life, unless money is involved. It’s the bitter truth. Unless I am deeply in love, perhaps, but again money and financial security is part of the gaining her trust.
To answer your second question: I understand that you, like most of us, desire more than just sex itself. For many, it is the foreplay (oral, kissing, cuddles) that is as exciting as the sex itself. The problem is being truly intimate with an escort is a bit of gamble for clients — you can never truly know if she will want it or not. Secondly, these acts are quite intimate, which many escorts might cringe at the idea of being too intimate with a client. As I mentioned on my blog, some escorts can enjoy themselves and do feel aroused with *some* clients (but not all). And equally many girls are strictly doing this for money, so either they don’t want pleasure or they will just do it out of obligation.
Oral sex uncovered poses risks, but for many it really depends on the circumstance. In reality sometimes the rules are breached, depending on the girl, her comfort level, your comfort level, etc. For instance, I don’t perform oral without condoms. Contrary, I do allow some trusted, hygienic clients to perform oral on me. Sounds rather hypocritical, since I won’t do the same for my clients. The notion of tasting a clients fluids is ghastly and I simply cannot do it. But if they enjoy tasting me, and they are well-groomed, I embrace it in some circumstances. I find that most clients want to give oral– therefore, they must assume I am safe and hygienic.
It would be ideal if you could find a girlfriend/life-partner (rather than escort) to experience your desires. I’d be cautious of escorts who offer oral sex uncovered for all her clients — choose one who is more discerning, and who markets herself as ‘safe.’
Hi,
Thank you very much ! First, I am being from a science/health related background, despite of knowing a risks in principle/theory, your answer gave me an idea of risks in real world scenario. Second, I am being a sexually and emotionally dissatisfied married man who is not in a position to come out of my existing life at this point of time, visiting escorts has given me an opportunity to maintain my emotional health, sexual satisfaction and married life too. I do think, I am being so dishonest to my life, but in life, things come with options, and I had to choose one. Probably, it is also a kind of social pressures to maintain my married life (As you have mentioned in your posts). Thanks !
Have you thought of writing a book? Haven’t you thought of compiling your posts into a book? As an educated reader of your post, I believe your experiences, thoughts and advises not only will help hundreds of thousands of men and women to understand their life, relationships and sexuality, but also will provide insight into these businesses and, will guide guides those people in/directly related to escorting. I would strongly encourage you to write a book. You have always an option either to disclose or not to disclose your identity. And you deserve to be a world class writer/author.
Hello,
I wonder if you ever come out from this world but you may end your hunt by making a strong decision that may leave you in stress for a short span of time but trust me it is more satisfying than you are working as a sex worker.
I’ve had come across many personalities while traveling to different countries who shared their views on escorts (a shortcut to hell), but at the same time i realized that situations sometime play a significant role in destroying you.
I have a great sympathy on you and i wish you could end this blackness from your life and enlighten your life with “self- actualization” and “Spiritual-awareness”. “One strong
decision and you are out of hell”.
Thanks!!
What an amazing woman!! Listen it is strong women like you that inspire women like me. Chin up huni
I stumbled upon your blog and I was awed. It is very well-written! Also, it brought me back the bad memory many years ago when I was in debt & very desperate. I tried to be an escort and took on my first client. He was a cheat who refused to pay up, and that’s it, I decided I couldn’t continue with this career at all. I felt remorseful & stupid to the point I nearly wanted to end my life. You are a strong & wise woman. God loves you, do not forget that. He will take you back and open other doors of opportunity for you, if you are willing. Whatever circumstances you are going through, they will all work out for the better. Take courage and quit this industry, Sister. Sending you lots of love & prayers.
Wow your writing is very helpful for me. I have been involved with this escort/ girlfriend for over 5 years now. We have had many ups and downs. Funny how the heart works I am not a rich man but I am stable. My question is how would I know if she really loves me?
The question should be: is she ready to let you love her?
The reason I ask that is how does one know, she has now moved away, we still talk and I visit at least once a month. How do I know when it is work or real?
It’s also not so easy to interpret her intentions. She may love and care about you, but she is also thinking about her own survival. Or, she might be taking advantage of you and not care at all. It’s my understanding that there is a big distinction between work and real intimacy — if you and her have great chemistry, then it’s real.
Hi am about to do my first ever shift with a high class escorting business and I am also nervous can you please write a blog on your first ever client and some tips…. My reasons for going from a degree holder and very independent women to going into this field goes very deep… I love reading our blogs as I am about to enter this world and have no one to relate to or talk to…
Thank you for commenting and I am very sorry to hear you have to resort to this. My blog gives many reasons how this industry is not worth the emotional trauma, but if you have already made your choice then it is better to get wholesome advice to stay safe. I will try my best to write a post soon dedicated to such advises.
This was an interesting read and blog, although I have not read all of it, there were several areas of interest…
I think Eastern region for one thing is especially strict regarding sex. My understanding is that many men from this part of the world, however, especially those with money, engage escorts and prostitutes particularly on business trips outside of their own countries. So this is very brave writing, what you blog about here.
Sex, in and of itself, is quite different for men and women…women tend to need emotional stimulation before physical…most men do not (my opinion only).
Morally, I think that the sale of sex is basically wrong, although I understand the various reasons for it (after all it is known as the “oldest profession”). As we see from comments above about “all men being pigs”, both provider and client, both male and female, are damaged from it.
For similar reasons, if you are truly “in love” with someone, I would imagine to have sex with some stranger, whether you are well paid for it or not, would be almost impossible…having been in love myself and also being a male, to be honest I would not even care to look at another woman in this situation.
However I also am no angel myself, nor have I lived a holy life. Yes I have patronized escorts…it is a risky business, fraught with both performance and nervousness issues…the so-called “GFE” experience, well, it can be very mechanical, rules-based, cold sex; possibly friendly, usually not very satisfying for either person.
Better for me to have a girlfriend, lover, or wife who satisfies my needs. Someone I am connected to.
I wish you all blessings and the ability to eventually escape this life and find your true partner.
Thank you for comments. You mention a lot of ideas that are very much the product of popular discourse (popular stereotypes on gender roles, sexuality, etc).
I would like to mention that ‘Eastern’ regions were not always ‘strict.’ A lot of the strictness that may exist in SOME parts is very much the outcome of the Modern nation-state and globalization processes. If one glimpses into historical literature of many regions of the ‘East’ they would find very sexuality is very complex and fluid, and in many cases open and accepted.
I do agree that sex work in a Modern context is very problematic in certain contexts. It’s problematic because of social stigmas, laws, trafficking and the degradation of many sex workers. However, I don’t think it was always this problematic. In other times and places, sex work has manifested itself in many different ways, such as a form of empowerment for women.
As well, you mentioned the difference stances on sex between men and women. I would like to highlight these so-called differences are socially constructed. Female sexuality is devalued in many Modern contexts, which gives rise to the discourse that women equate sexuality through emotions while men do not. This idea you mentioned is part is the outcome of asymmetrical gender roles imposed on men and women, which is not universal by any means.
Your blog is an enthralling read. Only other exposure is through TV (Secret Diaries of a Call Girl).
1) How did you decide to do escorting instead of adult films? Is escorting better paying? More discreet?
2) I know it’s notoriously difficult for men to break into the adult industry. The life style seems like a great way to earn some extra cash. Is there anyway for a heterosexual man to break into the industry servicing only women? Servicing gay men as well (gay-for-pay)?
3) I was wondering how your relationship and desire to leave the industry has changed by the Sheik’s graduation and return to the kingdom. When he’s gone is it harder to justify leaving the industry, are you more comfortable with clients, take more clients? You’ve reflected a lot on the ex-fiancé, do you think it’s a mistake to date a former client again? Any fear that you’ll break yet another heart if the allure of the money and independence outweigh the Sheik’s love (vulnerability)? Is it easier / less competition to be in a university city, or is it more difficult because clients are scarcer and it doesn’t have quite the same anonymity as a big city like London?
Dear Exotic Diary,
Came across your diary today, it’s really been so informative and gives the opportunity for each human being to apprehend the wealth of desires that we seek and live within in this life. It’s also to learn and know that we have everything today an abundance of comfort; we have been showered by gadgets with the growth of science and technology, we have Facebook, internet, enough credit cards to borrow as much from banks, foodies like McDonald’s, Pizza Huts and to add to the flavours mouth watering Krispy Kreme donuts, uncountable movies television programmes and channels video games and what not. Still we are not happy… We had a simple life 30 years ago and were contented with whatever food was served by our granny, simple steamed rice poured with dal accompanied by fresh fried potatoes, fish was forced in our diets and mouths perhaps once or twice a month and we just hated that. We would walk to school and in my later years would ride a bicycle to school. Now things have changed and the new generation has skipped the hardships that life would teach us. Everything is so reachable. Even an escort in any part of the world ! I admire the writer for the blog she has created ! It gives an insight to the character of the the kama sutra as a person. Its not about money but the desires of an unsatiated thirst that each one has in today’s life. So it’s not only that each man yearns for touch but that warmth and shelter and energy that helped him grow from the day he and his hunger was fulfilled when he sucked from nectar from his mothers breasts.
The writer has a wonderful flair of an art of writing and gives us an understanding of the vacuum each one of us may be going through or is going through at some point in our life and lifestyle.
Bloggers would also be delighted to view more on Osho discourses.
The hindi movie devdas is also realistic story and has depicted the pain of joy and pain of sorrowand why men mostly fall in love in the arms of an escort. A man always owes to an escort as he owes to his wife. In this situation the Sheik too has tried always to pay dues. Whatever he paid is only a fraction compared to what he got back. An immeasurable wealth of love attention warmth protection shelter that Allah may have wanted he deserved fom our beloving escort.
A Taj Mahal should be built, and am sure that would what Sheik could have never afforded !!
Lots of love
Yank