Various Types and Characteristics of Prostitutes/Escorts

Over the years, I have encountered various types of escorts/call girls/prostitutes. We cannot be generalized so easily, but sadly we are generalized and stereotyped. Certainly, some escorts do fit certain stereotypes (for instance, being from broken homes, or had been sexually abused), but many other escorts did not endure such events. Most escorts, or I would like to say all (including myself), have experienced some sort of hardship (then again, who hasn’t?). In my case, I faced economic disparity, and resultantly faced depression. Now, however, I realize my depression was due to growing up in a debauched society that convinces people that their worth is based on shallow ideals. Of course, years later, I realized these ideals were wrong. Prostitution was a source of income that allowed me to feel good about myself. In the brothel setting, I was chosen and desired mainly for my sex appeal, which initially gave me an ego and fuelled some shallow tendencies. I was (and continue to be) mainly praised for my sex appeal. However, I am blessed to meet many clients who also truly desire me for whom I am, internally — like my ex-fiance, among others.

In the beginning, I sold myself to gain social prestige. As mentioned in previous posts, I grew up in a middle- to upper class neighbourhood. However, in my late teens my family fragmented, and our socio-economic status became poor. I did not cope well with the sudden transition to living in relative poverty, because meanwhile, my peers lived stable “normal” lives with many luxuries. Prostitution allowed me to remain ‘higher’ class, but only later I realized the whole concept of CLASS is a terrible way to define oneself. I wasted many years trying to please the WRONG people, people who reject others because they don’t follow the norms of society. Like many others, I wrongly assumed that mimicking the elite was a ‘good’ thing. Now, I see I was certainly wrong.

 Recently, in a history lecture on the politics of women’s bodies in a historical context, a classmate asked a cheeky question, “Do you think prostitutes sold themselves to gain higher status?” The professors response was, “I don’t think any prostitute sells themselves to gain status.” Perhaps historically, she is right. However, I am beginning to see a new side of prostitution that is becoming VERY common, yet not acknowledged:

The Materialistic Prostitute/Escort/Call Girl

I am talking about women who sell themselves for material, superficial gain. I’d say it’s a relatively new form of prostitution that is becoming increasingly common. A materialistic prostitute aspires to obtain symbols that uplift her status in the social hierarchy.  In advanced nations “status” materials, such as a Chanel handbag, means that one is wealthy, and therefore considered better (because such a society assumes those who are prettier, wealthier, and powerful are better). In theory, it sounds insane…but of course the societies of advanced nations promote perverted ideals.

During my first years of escorting I made lots of money, fast money. I spent it instantly, because the money was alway available. Louis Vuitton, Prada, silk blouses, fancy dresses, beautiful shoes. I could buy what I desired, or at least what I thought I desired. I still have those items, which now I realize have no sentimental value.  Again, my mind was exposed to various parts of the world as a child. My mind saw the difference between ‘modern’ society and my own ‘traditional’ cultural heritage. Somehow, I could never assimilate into the consumerist culture of the West. Only years later, I realized that the most simplistic things were things that made me feel genuinely happy. The ‘modern, advance, glitzy’ world didn’t really make me happy. Instead, the debauched values of the West made me a slave to selling myself for the wrong reasons. Initially, I sold myself to gain status, which translates to gaining acceptance from ‘higher’ class individuals by mimicking their dress and mannerisms.

My story is not rare. In fact, there are many, many middle-class girls who are selling themselves for wasteful reasons like I did. They open their legs and perform things they don’t really like to men they don’t really like for a Louis Vuitton handbag.

Having said that, I am still a prostitute. Indeed, I don’t really sell myself for bags and designer goods anymore. I sell myself because (apart from the great financial benefit) this is something I’ve become good at. I do enjoy meeting clients (most of my clients are quite nice and sweet), and sometimes I get chemistry with them and enjoy exploring each others’ sexuality. I have to be thankful that I am ABLE to do this. I am lucky that my financial needs are cared for by man who I love and enjoy (the Sheik), but at the same time I am aware that this will not last; and sadly, I love him beyond his money and wish to have things that can never be (a future).

But not all women share my fate. Countless women are dating men who they don’t love, because they want their money and to be pampered. This is known as a ‘sugar-daddy’ relationship, but it’s not different than prostitution. Personally, I cannot pretend to be in love with a man and be his girlfriend for money. I am affectionate as a courtesan, but I am straight-forward with my emotions to my clients — I don’t fake love.

Indeed, the political, social and economic structures that dominate most of the world are deeply influencing why women are seeking relationships based on wealth rather than based on love. It also can be said these factors are influencing men to view women as objects that can be essentially “used” for sexual purposes only.  Let’s face it, the new modern world worships money and its becoming increasingly patriarchal. Women as sex objects and sex vixens become subordinates to male power. I used to feel that being a prostitute and having my own money made me powerful, but then I realized that state power has made no status or space for ‘pleasure’ women like myself. At the end of the day, our money doesn’t change the fact we are still socially condemned.

It is not only the West where this is happening. Middle-class girls of semi-industrialized countries are seeking rich, elite men to finance their materialistic dreams. I have even read about Khaleeji women who give up their bodies (of course, not their virginity) to desperate Saudi men under the circumstance he ‘spoils’ them with an expensive handbag or shoes. These women are not to blame. It’s the influence of Western Liberalism that is worrisome. I do not believe prostitutes should be condemned or considered inferior just because they sell their bodies, but something is terribly wrong when women are doing it for overly-inflated designer handbags and silicone breasts. I almost got consumed by this poison myself, and I don’t agree with my past shallowness at all. The sad part is: this material-consumer culture still consumes me and I feel tremendous pressure. I once, unfortunately, internalized the idea that worth was based on superficial things (my body). How do I ‘unlearn’ 20-some years of being valued for what on the outside? It’s not easy. It’s not easy at all….especially in a society that places emphasis on the exterior. But now, I see the ugliness in shallowness. Now, I try to focus on the esoteric qualities of life.

Prostitution Slavery / Trafficked Women / Sex Slaves

People tend to think sex slaves are confined to poorer countries. However, they exist everywhere. In the West, there are always stories about women who were lured to a rich country in hopes to find a decent job, yet they get forced into sexual slavery to pay back their alleged debts.

I have not done extensive research on trafficked women, but I would love to do so in the future. It is well known that there are young Iraqi prostitutes in Syria and elsewhere in the Middle East…catering to Saudi male sex tourists. It really scares me. Without a doubt these women do not choose to be prostitutes, but rather they have no choice between doing it or starving. It is heart-breaking to hear stories of families selling their daughters. One must ask how great is this new ‘modern’ world-system when it can put some families in such a helpless state that they have to sell their daughters in order to eat?

Street Prostitutes

There are different levels of street prostitutes (hookers). When I began to work as a high-class escort, I also encountered ‘high-track’ women. ‘High-track’ is slang  for high-class street prostitutes. These women all have pimps. Some of these ‘elite’ girls work as escorts in private, or on the ‘high’ part of a designated outdoor area (or some do both). Again, they may not be high-class in the context of being educated and refined. In the sex industry, high-class is more associated with expensive women more so than actual class. Many expensive prostitutes actually come from poverty and working class backgrounds, yet their beauty allows them to be associated with high-prices and status men.

Some high-end street prostitutes I met were quite beautiful. I could never understand why these beautiful women would work on the street and have pimps (men who take their money). Later I learned that these women had a poor concept of self-governance, and were totally dependent on their pimps for survival (sad, indeed). One young beauty I met was from Eastern Europe. She immigrated to the West, alone, without any family. She told me the story about how she met her pimp. She had no idea about the word ‘pimp’ until she got manipulated by a so-called boyfriend. This boyfriend took advantage of her vulnerable situation and got her into escorting. Years ago in the U.S., an hour with a high-class street prostitute could range from 500 to 700 US dollars. The rule remains that only women with pimps are allowed to stroll in the designated ‘high-track’ area — but this practice of ‘high-class’ track has almost disappeared in recent years. Moreover, high-class street workers vary from country to country. For instance, in Amsterdam’s Red Light District some high-class girls showcase themselves in windows, while in Bangkok the girls wait outside clubs to solicit themselves.

In what seems like a completely different world, there is low-track. Low-track is the slums, or the worst district/street in a city or town (usually associated with homeless and drug-addicted people). Low-track sex workers are what many people assume is associated with the common prostitute: drug-addicted women selling their bodies for next-to-nothing or for drugs. These women are perhaps homeless, and are addicted to lethal drugs such as heroin, crack, meth, etc. I have never encountered one of these women, as they exist in another world totally different than the ‘high-class’ world of prostitution. Yet I have no right to degrade these women. They are humans. They all have a story. Nobody knows how or why these women ended up in such a desperate, vulnerable and dangerous place. Where do these women go for help? How do their clients treat them? Indeed they don’t even have homes and usually use sketchy motels.

High-Class Escorts From Poverty/Working Class Backgrounds

As mention, there is an irony associated with ‘high-class’ escorts/prostitutes, because most of the so called ‘high-class’ escorts are women from low-class/poverty backgrounds. Because of their youth or beauty, these women from low-tier backgrounds can sell themselves to wealthy, rich patrons for generous amounts, and as a result some can bring themselves out of poverty. However, many remain in poverty. I have met countless beautiful women who make thousands a week, yet they live in terrible conditions. The reasoning for this is drugs. ‘High-class’ escorts often take ‘high-class’ drugs (cocaine) to cope with their misery. Indeed many of these women hate selling themselves, but they are driven by the easy money. Their alternative options cannot give them the autonomy and financial ease as prostitution provides. To cope with their agony of letting undesirable men grope and penetrate their body, they use forms of ‘relaxers’ to ease the emotional pain. The women mentioned above are not keen on this job, whilst other ladies (such as myself) can enjoy aspects of it.

I, too, was driven for the money and the autonomy. In my case, I used Louis Vuitton handbags as a source for temporary happiness (which didn’t work). Thankfully I never got involved in other ways of coping with the implications of being a prostitute. I witness many other escorts using partying, drugs, painkillers, and alcohol to deal with their misery. Of course, they end up with multiple addictions, and eventually they end up selling themselves to pay for their drug habits. Eventually, their drug habits damage their beauty, and resultantly, of course, the price of these women drop dramatically at the same rate as their eroding beauty. Many beautiful high-class women, from years of abuse and neglect, end up as low-level street prostitutes. I have seen once beautiful, vibrant escorts transform into desperate, zombie-like addicted women who lost every ounce of innocence from their eyes,…and the worst part is realizing they may soon be on the streets, selling themselves for a hit. Now, one must ask themselves, “Why did these women start doing drugs in the first place?” Perhaps they were trying to cope with the fact they hate selling their bodies, or they were trying to cope with having to hide their identity in a society that is essentially hostile towards sex workers. Although I dismiss drug use, I totally understand why so many women resort to drugs and alcohol — it’s not always easy living this life (even when we do profit handsomely).

A lot of women in prostitution, regardless of their social status, have been neglected in some form. I have encountered many sex workers coming from unstable families and broken homes. Some of these women were raised in foster-care, some were raped, some were sexually assaulted. Somehow, these women were not nurtured or loved. It’s heartbreaking that they further their pain by joining the sex industry. Some do it by choice, but of course their choice is deeply influenced by their socio-economic situation. Many of these women lose hope, because their life experiences have hardened their viewed of hope. Furthermore, I observed how some sex workers have partners, husbands or boyfriends who also subject them to abuse and neglect. To add to the wound, society essentially rejects prostitutes for their ‘loose’ morals, and thus they are left in a psychological grave. I remember meeting a fellow escort who made decent money. However, she had an abusive boyfriend who gladly took her hard-earned money. The obvious question is: why don’t these women leave their abusive boyfriends? Again, the industry is deeply lonely. Many women would rather have the company of someone rather than nobody, and too often it’s bad company. The cliche “misery loves company” is too true in this case.

Selling sex does not have to be negative as it is today. Prostitution has existed in various manifestations both historically and cross-culturally. In other times and places, ‘pleasure’ women held status and social nobility. Only in recent history, in a Western imperialist context, laws and state regulations emerged to criminalized sex workers and other sexual minorities, thus convincing society that we are worthless, disgusting and to be condemned. For women who embrace sex and exploration with others, sex work can be a great outlet. I try to see it as something positive, even though the society around me doesn’t accept what I do. My case is unique, because I do enjoy sex, and I often express my desires with clients, but what is problematic is that MOST prostitutes/escorts are not like me. Most sex workers are very uneasy with the idea of sex with strangers, so why are there no better alternatives for women who do not want to be prostitutes?

The Media’s Unrealistic Depiction of Prostitutes.

I have seen some documentaries/ films / television series on sex workers that glamorize the sex industry. I recall a documentary called, “Cathouse” which depicted the lives of working girls in a Nevada brothel. The show angered me, because it did not depict any of the realistic, ugly aspects of the sex industry. Instead, it almost seemed like a marketing scheme to lure more ‘normal’ women into the ‘glamorize’ world of ‘high-class’ sex work. This is the way the American (Western) media is going, where it’s trying to convince women that degrading themselves as objects is somehow equated to being powerful (in reality, these discourses (ideas) are propagated as a way a way of making money and reproducing systems of oppression). I felt sorry for the sex workers in the film, and I knew for sure that many of them are hiding a lot of pain and are likely unaware of their exploitation.

A good escort is trained not to express her sorrows in public, but rather to keep them inside. I was taught this when I first started working by a former prostitute-turned madam. She told me always to act pleasant and appealing, and never to discuss the realities of my life (the hardships), because in her view (which she is probably correct) clients do not pay to hear a sob-story. Men want sexually attentive, willing, and aroused young women, so thus it’s an escorts job to be an amazing actress most of the time. However, the dynamics often change when escorts develop a closer bond with a regular client. Generally, however, a sex worker who displays her anger and hostility towards men doesn’t make much money and will not have regular clients. Resultantly, many escorts hold their emotions inside in order to profit handsomely.

Where do Prostitutes Work?

Where prostitutes conduct their business depends on laws of their country/state. As well, different kinds of prostitutes conduct their business differently. I have worked from my own home and inside ‘high-class’ brothel establishments. A few times I have also done ‘out-calls,’ which is what people typically consider an escort or call-girl. An ‘out-call’ means I go to the client at his hotel. Some girls do ‘out-calls’ at a clients home, but I have never done this. I am not comfortable with outcalls, but when I have done it I did it at luxury hotels only. Overall, working independently (from home) is better financially, because I can charge higher rates and I keep all the money. However, working in a ‘high-class’ establishment is safer, but the downside is the owner takes a percentage of my money.

My ventures overseas gave me experience in a ‘high-class’ brothel (sex parlour). It was similar to a mini 5-star hotel, and it was immaculately furnished. This particular brothel could accommodate many clients. It was a very professional setting in which there were receptionists, intercoms to each rooms, flat screen televisions, jacuzzis, dressing rooms for the girls, and even a seperate villa to accommodate girls from out of town. I would be introduced to clients, and when they pick me I would take them to a room for our appointment. The room had showers, a king or queen-size bed, and was properly attired for the service of providing sex. The prices were not affordable, and patrons were generally middle to upper class. Occasionally some working men class men would come, which meant they had to “save-up” for the experience.

14 Comments

Filed under "High-class" prostitution, The Escorting Business, Trying to Understand Why I Sell Myself, Types of Prostitutes

14 responses to “Various Types and Characteristics of Prostitutes/Escorts

  1. Ivan

    hi there…
    Long post, :p, first of all and most people dont like to accept this but have you ever asked yourself why do most women feel attracted to famous people? Even guys like, Charlie Sheen who everybody knows is an abusive man who uses drugs is quite popular with women.
    A guy who cheated on his wife like Brad Pitt is popular with ladies, thats cause its in our brain, its part of our instincts, qualities like wealth, tells our brains that you are going to be safe with the “pack leader”.

    And when it comes to us, men, and here comes my exp. when i was younger THE ONLY thing i looked for in a women was how she looked, is she pretty? no? NOT INTERESTED, i spent a lot of time with beautiful ladies but HORRIBLE human beings. (i still date beautiful ladies but with values)

    You are criticizing western liberalism and i don’t blame you cause in some way they gave you a mental scar maybe more than 1 scar but, look my girl is lybian/egytpian and she often criticize Western countries too but guess what? she carries that Louis Vuitton handbag everywhere, and i usually tell her “sweetie i cant imagine a more stupid way to spend money, a plastic bag does the same thing” …. take a look at this, this is from americanbedu http://americanbedu.com/2011/12/30/wordless-friday/ i thought about you when i saw this lol cause you made a post about it, but…. think about it, an Abaya works? most arabs i have met are perverts, and they think women are “things” and i would like to be soft and gentle about this, but I’m not playing or exaggerating thats my exp, covering your hair or using a niqab is not going to fix a thing, maybe you are making it worse.

    I have some of those documentaries, and i think you paid too much attention on the money thing… I often see many mentally ill women who often Joke about sex like its the normal thing to do, some of them abuse drugs.

    I usually feel that the reason they are paying girls like YOU! is not for sex… but to stay quiet and smile, which is why i understand your scars and your anger.

    Good Luck

  2. rei

    why do you only talk about things that you can read from magazine articles.
    if you care about women in this business getting out, start a nonprofit business getting girls like you out of it. and why dont you talk more about the guys that go to girls like you? what he like having done to them in detail deeply described. that would help married women or future wives to know how to satisfy her husband, and he will not wonder. you write like surface writing. no blog of girls like you can write like they really are what they say, just stories.

    • Katie

      Rel,
      It looks like English probably isn’t your first language, so it makes sense why you would have misunderstood her entire point, but it definitely isn’t to help “women in this business getting out”. Why would she want to do that? She said specifically, she has yet to do much research on sex trafficking victims, so I’d assume she wasnt expecting this article to rescue any of them in the meantime! And women who are prostitutes by choice, well why would she care about getting them out of the business?
      This article in particular is explaining that sex workers come from all walks of life, and they choose to do the work for many different reasons – there is no one standard type of “prostitute”, despite what our societal stereotype is.

  3. M

    While I think overall you do a fine job of pointing of the various types of escorts, though I do think you make sweeping generalizations. It’s difficult to know about the other types of escorts because we are, in general, a hidden bunch.

    I think one particular escort subtype that you don’t touch on is the working woman escort. I started escorting to pay for my master’s degree. I was already a successful woman with a full time job that I love. However, that extra burden of tuition made me evaluate my financial options. Escorting was strictly a business decision. I have paid off my degree and am saving a nice little nest egg. I don’t do drugs and I’m certainly not poor.

    I like escorting. It’s no so much unlike my “real” job. I just care for people in different capacities depending on what type of job I’m doing. I’ve gotten to meet some very nice gentlemen I wouldn’t have otherwise. I’m doing something that’s not very socially acceptable but I’m lightyears ahead of my peers in terms of financial stability.

    • escortdiary

      Thank you for commenting. You are correct, I do generalize here. However, I do note in various parts of my blog that there is variation and complexity within the sex industry. My observations do not describe all types of prostitution, but I try to highlight the patterns found in indoor sex work. Indeed, there is no uniform or ‘one-type’ of sex worker.

      Your scenario is very lucky. And I am sure it is the case for some escorts. However, I’d say escorts who enjoy a higher education alongside having another career is not a common occurrence (I wish it was, because it seems like a healthier lifestyle). I applaud you for being able to maintain a normal life outside of sex work.

      My situation is quite similar to yours aside from having another career. I started for economic reasons, and it allowed me to live comfortably and save whilst being a student. The clients are, as you said, gentleman, but clients are not my concern per say. Rather, the implications (the stigma, the laws, juggling of multiple identities, gender devaluation) are problematic. I rather enjoy the autonomy, financial reward and sexually assertiveness I gain, but again the social implications can make it sometimes difficult. I also think it is very tragic that women (and men) are left to ‘fend for themselves’ (independence is rewarded in the individualistic society we live in). I very much prefer the idea of collectivism, where people are less neglected and left to themselves for emotional and economic survival.

      • M

        You definitely bring up an interesting point about juggling multiple identities. Over time, I have learned to compartmentalize myself. I suppose to a certain extent, we all must do this to survive. But at times, I feel exhausted by it. It’s almost like acting. I simply take on a new character, play her role and then shed it for a new one later. It’s kind of funny, after awhile I start to wonder which is the real one. They are all me, or some fragment of me, yet never completely whole. I suppose that is the life I choose to lead and I will not complain as it is my choice. I love blogs like these because it gives me a place to communicate about this hidden aspect of my life. I applaud you for this blog. It really delves into some interesting topics and explores subjects others find taboo. I find it refreshing.

  4. Mike

    I found this another interesting post. I am slowly working my way through your blog, and I find it very interesting. I have a great deal of respect for your efforts to be so honest about yourself.

    In response to your classmate’s questions, there have been many women born into the lower classes who have used their skills in providing sexual pleasure and intelligent companionship to work their way up through class systems to the highest level. Famous courtesans include
    Aspasia, who is believed to have been a “barbarian,” who worked her way up to being the companion of Pericles.
    Nell Gwynn, daughter of a brothel owner, who worked her way up to the bedroom of King Charles
    and Madame du Barry, the daughter of a seamstress who ended up in the throne room of France with Louis XV. Indeed, she was so high class by then that she lost her head in the French Revolution.

    • escortdiary

      Thank you for commenting, and I appreciate you taking the time to go through my writings and giving feedback.

      Histories of prostitution are fascinating. What we consider ‘sex work’ today was manifested and understood differently in historical contexts. From my readings into the past, I discovered pleasure (and it’s exploration and openness) was given status and embraced in many societies.

      It is only in recent history (from 19th Century onwards) that certain sexualities were constructed as normative ideals (through Western medical and legal discourses, etc).

      • Mike

        I take it you were not comfortable or confident enough to say that to your professor? Or is this something that you realized in the past year and a half?

  5. simrat1969

    Very True Society does not tolerate anyone who acts differently be it prostitutes escorts or LGBT

  6. Kayla

    Oh my God, you are so wonderfully on point and well spoken! I’ve skimmed through countless “escort blogs” in my career, but I am so truly impressed by your intellect and ability to thoroughly express and then explain your opinions!!
    There were several points in this article that I want to discuss, and I hope that six months after the last posted comment you are still checking reader responses!
    1. “Countless women are dating men who they don’t love, because they want their money and to be pampered. This is known as a ‘sugar-daddy’ relationship, but it’s not different than prostitution. ”
    I don’t think this is limited to women seeking luxuries, as countless women are dating men because they provide them with basic necessities like food and shelter. Since its nearly impossible to support oneself on minimum wage, it makes sense that women would choose an admirer they didn’t care for who can provide them any sort of security, instead of someone they actually love who has the same income restrictions as them. I personally stayed in a loveless relationship 2 years longer than I wanted to because I was in school and he was supporting me. I didn’t seek out the arrangement, we met and fell in love like any other couple. Then after the first year I realized we weren’t compatible plus I had lost all affection for him, but I remained and continued to sleep with someone I didn’t want to sleep with, because it benefited me. Now, I see no difference between that and what sex workers do.
    2. “I once, unfortunately, internalized the idea that worth was based on superficial things (my body). How do I ‘unlearn’ 20-some years of being valued for what on the outside?”
    This sounds like it came straight from my own thoughts! In my teen years this manifested itself in eating disorders, because society taught me that appearance was so very important, and my opinion of my looks was so very low, I felt if I could at least be thin, then I would be worth while. I’m in my mid twenties now and have been “recovered” for 5+ years, but the truth is it’s not because I accept how shallow that concept was or have learned to value only inner beauty. I simply matured and learned to love myself, yet I can’t seem to fully unlearn the “years of being valued for what’s on the outside”.
    If I had begun escorting at 18-20, I would have been a tragedy because my self esteem was so closely linked with men’s sexual attraction to me. At that age, I was still jumping into bed with guys because on some level, I thought it meant they liked me or thought it would make them like me. And the more men that liked me, the more worth I had. I don’t know when it happened, but I’ve long since separated the two, thank god! Sex is no longer a means of manipulation, it’s an expression of attraction or love and it’s simultaneously how I make a living. But it makes no difference to me that some men might not think I’m “worth” the rates I charge. My opinion of myself is no longer associated with the fact that men find me sexually attractive. And that’s the basis for why I knew that I was emotionally mature enough to handle this line of work!
    3. “‘High-class’ escorts often take ‘high-class’ drugs (cocaine) to cope with their misery. Indeed many of these women hate selling themselves, but they are driven by the easy money. Their alternative options cannot give them the autonomy and financial ease as prostitution provider. To cope with their agony of letting undesirable men grope and penetrate their body, they use forms of ‘relaxers’ to ease the emotional pain.”
    My personal experience was actually rather the opposite of this. Ever since high school, I was addicted to one drug or another. When I entered into escorting, it was very much fueled by a need to support my drug habit and maintain a “normal” life (go to school, spend time with family, essentially be a functioning drug addict).
    But the financial freedom and overall independence escorting provides actually gave me both the desire and the confidence to enter rehab and clean myself up. For one, I could afford a nice rehab facility and was able to take my pick! And I didn’t have to worry about taking time off, missing out on paychecks or possibly losing my job in order to do it. I then could also afford the monthly bill at a methadone clinic, and over 6 months weaned myself off. In recovery I also found a culture of people who are more accepting of my line of work then say, my family would be! I’m able to be myself and talk openly about my life and experiences with way less judgement than in normal circumstances. Of course, there are often those who see my work as a “symptom of my past”, something I need to move on from now that I’m clean. But that’s just the stereotype again, that all prostitutes are drug addicted, abuse victims, being pimped or otherwise forced into doing it.
    My point is that, I still view sex work as something that CAN be empowering for a woman. I used to be a nervous wreck about what I wanted to do with my life and the future in general. I was scared shitless that I would end up 45, alone, working as a cashier for minimum wage and relying on government programs to get by. I now KNOW I can and will finish school, I can hold out for the job I really want, and when I’m 45 I can still offer massages with “happy endings” for almost $200/hour (in my area) REGARDLESS of how I look, really. There are hundreds of women in their 50s who advertise on my websites, and they charge respectable rates and have great feedback from verified clients. That’s not the future I want, but it’s a relief to know I’ll have the option.

  7. Carl

    Not all hookers that are with pimps are forced, trafficked, abused, dumb or suffer from self esteem. They are trying to be part of the pimp/hooker lifestyle. The pimp tries to get girls who are NOT junkies or crackheads that love the lifestyle he offers. What is this lifestyle? To be in a pimp’s stable, household and “family”. He pools all the money together and buys jewelry, cars and rents or owns expensive homes and lavish apartments. These woman would never be able to do that on their own as the average independent call girl might have a nice apartment or a decent car but most only work 4 days a week, party and have a lay back lazy lifestyle for the most part. The hooker with the pimp will have her pimp coach and motivate her to work 10 to 16 hours a day and 6-7 days a week. Multiply that by 4 or 5 girls and that is a lot of money. So that is why a sane woman would pay a pimp because that is the lifestyle she want to live and be able to ride in her daddy’s Rolls Royce while she drives a Benz convertible and they have his and her Rolexs. Where as the independent call girl lives more like a regular person with a nice job making an easy 2000 or so a week or a little more. She even may pay some taxes invest in an IRA and have a part time job too. The pimped girl might make 10000 a week. Different goals and different lifestyles. I used to work as a bartender in Vegas so I got to know some of the night life people this is how I got my information.

    • escortdiary

      @ Carl,

      Sorry, but your analysis of modern day “high-class” pimping only portrays the facade, not the reality. I, too, am very familiar with the ‘pimp/hoe’ lifestyle that you have mentioned. I worked alongside many high-class escorts who had a “man” — the word “man” is used nowadays for pimp. You are correct that many pimps are not soliciting ‘junkies,’ but rather their ‘women’ are seemingly normal women. These women don’t feel forced, and they consider their relation to their ‘man’ and his other women as “the family.” From the outside, it seems that everyone benefits in this kind of arrangement, but in reality the situation is NOT glamourous at all. I can see how a woman with extremely shallow and materialistic values would find the ‘pimp/hoe’ lifestyle appealing — but in the long-run, the pimped woman is ruining herself.

      What’s most interesting is that many ‘high-class’ escorts with pimps PORTRAY their lives on the OUTSIDE as extravagant, luxurious and successful — yet in reality, they’re existence is just the opposite. I knew one Las Vegas escort with a pimp – on social media sites (like Instagram/Facebook) she would portray that she’s living an extravagant life. All her photo’s are showcasing her with money, designer goods, new pair of plastic tits/ass, etc. To an outsider, she’s living the VIP life. In reality, however, she’s working literally day/night to make cash, she’s attracting clients who only see her as an object, and she never has return clients because she see’s escorting as “hustling” only. But of course, she never displays that aspect of her life. One thing I have learnt from my years in the escorting world: When a person BOASTS about themselves or their lives in an arrogant manner, it’s usually masking the fact that their lives are quite empty and miserable.

      What sort of future does a ‘pimped’ escort have? Her future is completely dependent on her pimp, who only favors her when she’s bringing in money. What sort of human can sell themselves like an object endlessly? It’s dehumanizing. Their lives are not glamourous at all despite having material possessions. And the sad reality is that many ‘high-class’ escorts, along with being materialistic, start partying hard with drugs and alcohol (cocaine, MDMA) to numb their empty lifestyles. And what results is that these escorts burn out the fastest. Their initial success is short-lived. Being a prostitute, whether pimped or not, is not easy for any woman — yet an independent escort at LEAST can retain her dignity by knowing she has FULL control over her body, whom she meets, how often she works, how she wants to spend her money, when she wants to relax, etc.

      When pimps “coach” their women to ‘hustle’ more, it’s not making their situation better. In fact, it’s making the girls more rigid and mechanical with clients, and therefore clients will not return to them. The girls work long hours, lounging in upscale clubs and casinos in cities like Las Vegas and Miami, and many end up having to ‘scam’ men to make their income. In the long run, there’s no gain. Pimps “train” these women to see clients as “tricks” and therefore the experiences between clients and escorts are never based on wholesome connections or intimacy. Moreover, these women only attract a certain type of clientele for mostly one-time encounters only. Thus, they end up being perceived as insignificant. In the end, they are completely dependent on their pimp, who might toss them aside once these women don’t want to sell themselves “10-16″ hours a day.

      I find it very disheartening that you subscribe to the idea that materialistic things, such as riding in fancy cars and having designer goods, is a worthy lifestyle. If anything, a life based on chasing money seems like an empty, pointless lifestyle. I say that, because I have lived in luxury, I have traveled the world, I have been admired for all the shallow reasons and I have made a lot of money over these years — and after all that, I learnt that having all the money in the world is worthless. As an escort, I would rather work LESS with a moderate income, so I am able to have more wholesome experiences. Sadly, many people believe chasing money and luxury is “the promise.” I can see how that lifestyle would appeal to people whom have no concept of simplicity: love, family, nature, spirituality, etc.

      Sahar

  8. I think yours is the only blog that I check regularly to see comments (I know others do too) as they are so interesting. This comment is indeed like a new post and very poignant. I love the way you write.
    In looking at the comments on your blog, I noticed another thing: it seems most of your comments are from visitors from the web and not other bloggers. I believe this has to do with your tagging. Early on in my blogging I made some posts that did not show up on the wordpress reader when I searched my tags like “erotic poetry” for example. These posts were not read or liked and I was disappointed. I tried to find out why that had happened by searching help in wordpress and I discovered that in order to be shown in the wordpress reader you have to have a limit of 15 tags and categories combined. Any more and a post won’t show, though it will still appear in the reader feed of your followers. Most blogs that are following you are probably encountering your blog either because you have liked or commented on their posts (which is how I found you too) or through some kind of web search. I have observed many popular blogs that use higher numbers of tags and still gain loads of readers through the other methods. This is the first time I am sharing about this information in a comment, but I thought it might be helpful to you. I would love to see your blog reach a larger audience if you desire that.

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