Saudi Arabia is supposedly the country that practices true Islam. So why is it that a large number of Saudi students (men) contradict the norms of Saudi society when they come to the West? Is it that repression creates desire? Or is it because Western influences tempt Saudis to do what is considered haram?
There seems to be a double standard for Saudi men. They can sleep with as many woman as they want. Some even drink alcohol and smoke marijuana abroad. In their minds they feel such sins will be forgiven by Allah when they repent. Life will be perfect once they return to their homeland, right? Whenever I come across a Saudi with that mentality (sin now and repent later), I’m tempted to slap some sense into him. Then I realize there’s no point, because those Saudis will never doubt their indoctrination. Inevitably, they will marry a virginal wife, and they’ll give up casual sex or drinking……..but how long will such modesty last? Do we blame Saudi society? Or do we blame Western Liberal influence that has permeated almost all global societies?
Recently I met a young woman who told me that she frequents with Saudis. She seems to have a very negative view about them. She said very bluntly, “Saudi men only want to fuck you.” I agreed with her to an extent, but I do believe a small minority of Saudi students are not this stereotype. I wanted so badly to tell her about my experiences with Saudis (clients) because she had no idea that Saudi men pay for sex. I wanted to tell her how Saudi men not only want sex but they also want affection. Again, my experiences may be biased. The Saudis I’ve become close too always say how sex is not the most important thing between us. They enjoy my company, and especially my affection. Often, I feel I am acting as their Mother/Wife. I empathize with them. Saudi students studying abroad are alone often. They have plenty of male friends and can easily have sex, but many want more than that.
Saudis are unlike any other clients. They equally intrigue me and annoy me at the same time. Regardless, I enjoy learning about their experiences and their lives. Most of them haven’t been exposed to the West long enough to have ‘contaminated’ superficial minds. They are not individualistic, but rather kinship oriented. Often, Western women wonder why their Saudi boyfriend cannot marry with them. The major reason causing conflict between Saudi-Foreign marriage is because of their kinship values. In the West, men are typically individualistic, which means they will marry whom they choose because family input is of less importance. But Saudis, they are accustomed to consider their family values with all their decisions. It’s frustrating knowing there is probably no future for the Sheik and I, yet at the same time I rather respect how Saudi Arabia is trying to keep out Western influence (but let’s face it, the West is bombarding Saudi society though globalisation).
Anyway, the young woman I met brought up a good point: If Saudi Arabia as a country was focused on true Islam than why aren’t they helping those with less? Why aren’t they helping the Palestinians, or Iraqis? Just type in ‘prostitution in Syria’ on youtube and one will find Syrian dance-halls filled with Iraqi prostitutes and Saudi clients. It breaks my heart, because these women are not selling sex for the same reasons as I. The Arab prostitutes in Syria, Bahrain, or other neighboring countries are doing it because they have no other choice. Why aren’t the Saudis protecting these women instead of just using them as pieces of meat? When I think too much about how men can use women as sex-objects at their convenience, it makes me bitter………but again I no longer blame the men. Instead, I look at how society is so powerful at placing conditions upon men and women.
On the contrary, I spent this evening with the older Saudi man I mentioned previously. I’ll refer to him as Abu Saud. I hate to admit it, but I actually enjoy seeing him. We cannot have a proper conversation because of language barriers, but somehow we manage to laugh and communicate through non-verbal ques. In his limited English he has a tendency to tell me very personal things about himself. Again he repeated his home address to me, and then showed me his wallet with his ID card, which means I know where he lives and his family name. It made me laugh. All I could think was, “Why are you telling me this?” I could never imagine one of my White married clients telling me where he lives or his family name.
Abu Saud is a sweet older man. I try to suppress the fact that he’s being unfaithful to his wife. I must ignore these things, but I know it will affect me when/if I’m a wife one day.
This is interesting that you say this, and I’m glad to read your article. I’ve sort of stumbled upon your site…it’s very interesting to say the least.
I wanted to get your opinion, as someone who is dating a Saudi…let me note that he has a dual citizenship for US and KSE because he was born here. I wanted to further ask, if you think I am wasting my time? He will be here for atleast 3 more years, and although I really enjoy his company, and we share many similar opinions and humor, at the end of the day, I don’t want to get hurt and waste my emotion, bu at the same time, I want to enjoy the experience… All I mostly read online is how these students only want to do haram things, then go home and marry who their family accepts aka a muslim virgin woman… But, it just seems a bit unfair to judge all of them in this way… Thanks.
Saudi man are human not angels.
You will find them good People bad people.
In Saudi Arabia is 60% of Saudis are young people aged younger than 30 years.
Not all Saudis True Muslims.
We have some People Follow Perverse doctrines in Saudi Arabia is perverse. Such as Sufis and Shiites. Who attribute themselves to Islam.
And also there are some owners of perverse ideas That are contrary to Islam.
But most Saudis and Muslims do not do these things And most of them did not drink wine in his life And not cohabiting with a woman other than his wife.
Most of these Good men Do not go to the West Only if he wants trade or study Or treatment.
And does not have time to meet girls or mixing with Westerners. These items rarely do you see in the West.
Unlike the corrupt Saudis Who see them in places of prostitution in the West.
In short When you go to garbage places You’ll find flies and odors.
And when you go to a Clean place you will find beauty and smell fragrant.
I strongly disagree with your metaphor about how in “garbage places you’ll find flies and odors” and “clean place you will find beauty..”
This notion of ‘cleanliness’ representing ‘goodness’ is so typical of indoctrinated minds. Who are we to judge when someone is ‘dirty’ ?? Do we ever stop to think why some get lost in ‘garbage places ?’ Is it right to condemn others when they stray off the path of so called goodness? No. We are human. We all make mistakes. The only perfection in life is imperfection.
Also, the very fact you speak against Sufi and Shiites says many things about you, which is very un-Islamic.
This world would be only better without islam or any other strong religion. My religious clients are the worst ones. The majority of the arabian islamic men that I meet will always try to have sex without a condom, they try to manipulate in any way they can, and they have a preference for (soft or strong) violence and domination. I would say that, in bed, most of them enjoy treating a woman like shit. I can not stand any of these guys and can not understand that a woman likes them (but I can suppose that they are different with a woman of same origins and culture as them).
Strong Catholics are not better, they would often ask me to play their daughter in bed. However, they are both very generous.
Im sorry if I may hurt anyone, but it makes me feel better to write this
.
Some of these men who follow strict rules imposed by any religion explained to me that they have enough of being and acting “kind” all the time. They need to be “bad”, and need to treat people in a bad way, that s what makes feel them better.
Regarding what was written above, I encourage all people to judge others in any way, as long as they have good reasons to do so. We might all make mistakes, but there are Good people and there are Bad people in this world, it is always helpful being able to make the difference between them.
I also apologize for my english :/.
Best Regards
@Valentina:
Thank you for commenting. I have wrote about what you mentioned once, but haven’t posted it yet. I have heard Western escorts tell me their accounts of being with Muslim clients — they often say these men are rude, disrespectful and demanding. Now, this is quite fascinating, because my personal experience is completely different. My experience with Muslim clients are often the best…they treat me very well, with respect, care and concern (beyond just sex). Why is it they treat me well, while other women often complain about them? Is it the cultural similarities, or similar ideology? Perhaps. In any event, I don’t think it is fair to demonize a person based on their religion, as it does not determine how they will treat another person. There are faults and goodness in all people regardless of race, religion or creed.
I really want to explore this disconnect. What I have noticed is that a lot of Western escorts develop these preconceived ideas of ‘Other’ men (racial stereotypes), which thereby influences their attitude and behavior when meeting such men. There may be a mutual lack of respect on both sides, which are truly the result of preconceived stereotypes of the ‘Other.’
Religion is not a fatalism (it does not determine how a person will act, think, or behave). Religion in essence is a moral prescription, which often has good meaning. The problem is that religion often becomes intertwined with politics and re-interpretated for political motives (fundamentalism/extremism). If you knew about Islam from an academic perspective, you would see that Islam in essence preaches social justice (respect for humanity).