Saudi Arabia is supposedly the country that practices true Islam. So why is it that a large number of Saudi students (men) contradict the norms of Saudi society when they come to the West? Is it that repression creates desire? Or is it because Western influences tempt Saudis to do what is considered haram?
There seems to be a double standard for Saudi men. They can sleep with as many woman as they want. Some even drink alcohol and smoke marijuana abroad. In their minds they feel such sins will be forgiven by Allah when they repent. Life will be perfect once they return to their homeland, right? Whenever I come across a Saudi with that mentality (sin now and repent later), I’m tempted to slap some sense into him. Then I realize there’s no point, because those Saudis will never doubt their indoctrination. Inevitably, they will marry a virginal wife, and they’ll give up casual sex or drinking……..but how long will such modesty last? Do we blame Saudi society? Or do we blame Western Liberal influence that has permeated almost all global societies?
Recently I met a young woman who told me that she frequents with Saudis. She seems to have a very negative view about them. She said very bluntly, “Saudi men only want to fuck you.” I agreed with her to an extent, but I do believe a small minority of Saudi students are not this stereotype. I wanted so badly to tell her about my experiences with Saudis (clients) because she had no idea that Saudi men pay for sex. I wanted to tell her how Saudi men not only want sex but they also want affection. Again, my experiences may be biased. The Saudis I’ve become close too always say how sex is not the most important thing between us. They enjoy my company, and especially my affection. Often, I feel I am acting as their Mother/Wife. I empathize with them. Saudi students studying abroad are alone often. They have plenty of male friends and can easily have sex, but many want more than that.
Saudis are unlike any other clients. They equally intrigue me and annoy me at the same time. Regardless, I enjoy learning about their experiences and their lives. Most of them haven’t been exposed to the West long enough to have ‘contaminated’ superficial minds. They are not individualistic, but rather kinship oriented. Often, Western women wonder why their Saudi boyfriend cannot marry with them. The major reason causing conflict between Saudi-Foreign marriage is because of their kinship values. In the West, men are typically individualistic, which means they will marry whom they choose because family input is of less importance. But Saudis, they are accustomed to consider their family values with all their decisions. It’s frustrating knowing there is probably no future for the Sheik and I, yet at the same time I rather respect how Saudi Arabia is trying to keep out Western influence (but let’s face it, the West is bombarding Saudi society though globalisation).
Anyway, the young woman I met brought up a good point: If Saudi Arabia as a country was focused on true Islam than why aren’t they helping those with less? Why aren’t they helping the Palestinians, or Iraqis? Just type in ‘prostitution in Syria’ on youtube and one will find Syrian dance-halls filled with Iraqi prostitutes and Saudi clients. It breaks my heart, because these women are not selling sex for the same reasons as I. The Arab prostitutes in Syria, Bahrain, or other neighboring countries are doing it because they have no other choice. Why aren’t the Saudis protecting these women instead of just using them as pieces of meat? When I think too much about how men can use women as sex-objects at their convenience, it makes me bitter………but again I no longer blame the men. Instead, I look at how society is so powerful at placing conditions upon men and women.
On the contrary, I spent this evening with the older Saudi man I mentioned previously. I’ll refer to him as Abu Saud. I hate to admit it, but I actually enjoy seeing him. We cannot have a proper conversation because of language barriers, but somehow we manage to laugh and communicate through non-verbal ques. In his limited English he has a tendency to tell me very personal things about himself. Again he repeated his home address to me, and then showed me his wallet with his ID card, which means I know where he lives and his family name. It made me laugh. All I could think was, “Why are you telling me this?” I could never imagine one of my White married clients telling me where he lives or his family name.
Abu Saud is a sweet older man. I try to suppress the fact that he’s being unfaithful to his wife. I must ignore these things, but I know it will affect me when/if I’m a wife one day.