Monthly Archives: January 2011

January 31, 2011 · 2:23 am

My Ex fiancee, a former client

A few posts back I mentioned my ex-fiancee….whom I was with for just over 2 years. We just had a fight over the phone. He knows I’m back to escorting, and I told him about the Sheik….

It’s my stupidity that I’m too blunt and open about everything with my ex. I tell him whenever I see clients, and what exactly we do. So foolishly I told my ex about this Saudi client. My ex gets furious, and will say something along the lines of, “Then why are you talking to me? You don’t love me. You love him.”

Like the millionth time my ex and I had a fight (over the phone) and stubbornly said THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE WILL SPEAK. The reality is…a few days later, one of us ends up texting or calling….because we simply miss eachother. This has been our situation since we officially broke up a couple months ago. I tell him that I don’t see a future with him, but I do want to remain friends and sexual partners. But whenever I give him the impression that I’m receiving pleasure from work he gets FURIOUS. Since I’ve left him, my ex admitted that he’s paid to see 4-5 working ladies. He claims he only had sex with one of them, and then rest were just erotic massage only. At first it bothered me, but then I couldn’t really complain considering I told him to SEE others girls (and because I have sex with 4 plus men a week!).

Anyway, I feel lonely tonight. Deeply lonely, and it’s by choice. This is something hard to describe: BEING LONELY BY CHOICE. I have friends, family, and aquantences. I even have my clients. But not one of them is someone I feel comfortable talking too. Not one. The only one I can talk to about everything is my ex ….and we just had a fight. I know its better for him to stop talking to me, so both of us can move on. Lately it has been me that keeps texting him to say that I miss him. I feel I need to be reject completely from him, so I can suffer now…and hopefully get over it. As mention, I made him leave when we broke up….but we still have never really let go of each other.

Often I listen to an old song…”Ex-Factor” by Lauren Hill.  ”And when I try to walk away you hurt yourself to make me stay. This is crazy…..See I know what we’ve got to do…you let go and I’ll let go tooo…“

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January 19, 2011 · 1:57 am

So…what makes a successful Escort?

It’s a hard question. A common misconception is that only beautiful girls make money. Yet beauty is very subjective. One can never appeal to all.

 

Girls who make lots of money are hustlers. Which means they chase the money. A girlfriend of mine (who’s in the industry) lives quite a rich lifestyle. You’d think that she’s making $1000+ US dollars per hour. The reality is she does a mixture of jobs catering to clients of all statures. She works in a brothel-like establishment in the day-time. This pays her approximately $240 per hour (the business takes $70 dollars.), which seems very low. Then she advertises and does private out-calls/incalls for a much higher price. Yes, one can make lots of money by working full-time (essentially, working every day in different scales), but at what cost? Short-term goals of making fast-money often have negative implications. For instance, the girls I met who ‘chase’ money often take intoxicants to cope with labor (both physical and emotional). I recommend working less and balancing one’s life with clients and things they enjoy (outside of their work).

Extremely high-priced girls are not more ‘worthy’ than a girl who makes $240 per hour. She is catering to two types of clientele: clients who see private/independent escorts only, and ‘brothel rats’ (men who visit brothel establishments only). Women work in scenarios related to their comfort. For instance, a lot of ‘elite’ escorts prefer the brothel setting opposed to working independently.

 

What Girls are Most in Demand?

From my observations, there are a few characteristics that drive men wild.
A stunningly beautiful girl who’s new to the industry or a particular place (or city) will be popular at first. However, once she’s slept with the men who were curious about her …she will only continue to be successful if she has the brains or sexual confidence to match.

Clients want good sex. I’ve seen many beautiful girls who get overly confident in their first months, only to be shocked why they don’t have regulars.

Another interesting thing I’ve observed is the POWER of chemicals (pheromones). I truly believe this. Working in an establishment I’ve seen girls who don’t really get picked, but suddenly one day they are constantly being chosen. I’ve always been a popular woman, but I’ve noticed some days more than others men are dying to devour me. For instance, there are times I barely wear makeup and feel sleepy, yet every man I meet wants to book with me. Typically this is around my ovulation period, and perhaps I am feeling most horny at this time (somehow the men can detect it — the heat of my body).

Likewise when I feel extremely stressed, I don’t do as well. The first times I started to falter in my bookings (otherwise known as burnout) was when I started getting a lot of stress from my ex-fiancee. The constant fighting made me either not sleep at all, over oversleep….which gave birth to dark circles and puffy eyes when I was 22. Stress is the WORST recipe for being an escort. It does not matter how beautiful you are, but if you are stressed and needing to make money (and feeling animosity towards men at the same time)….don’t even bother!

I remember meeting a really gorgeous blonde a few months ago. She was new the industry. She was quite attractive and had a slim body with enhanced breasts. I told her that she would be really popular cause she is quite pretty. To her dismay, she only had 1 client during her 7 hour shift. This made me certain that STRESS alone can kill off the chemicals that men are attracted too. She told me she was desperate to make money, as she had a child and was extremely stressed about her money situation. I told her she needs to relax and feel good…..and that hopefully next shift her ease will reflect more clients.

Who are the most popular girls?

Again, it’s a perception. A girl can be popular for periods of time, but as mentioned before…even the most beautiful girl will go from being popular to just having her regulars and a consistent flow. I, myself, am a popular girl. I am lucky that I have beauty and brains. I am chosen for both reasons but at other times it’s one or the other. Since I am extremely busty and have quite a lovely face…I am often chosen by men who are besotted by beauty. For others, especially for my regulars, they enjoy my kind and genuine personality.

Girls who are quite sought after can be many things. One popular lady I knew was the girl I had a crush on. I remember the first day meeting her and thinking she wasn’t that pretty. But oddly enough after getting to know her I found her to be strikingly beautiful (inside and out). I could see what drew men to her…she had such an intoxicating persona, genuine and loving. She was extremely intelligent, sincerely sweet, and I suppose her age gave her a natural sexual appeal (her and I shared clients, so I discovered she was quite ‘tuned’ with her sexuality).

In my city, the most popular girls vary. I’ve noticed there is always a huge demand for rare women who aren’t typically found in the business: For instance, there is a lack of ethnic escorts in some areas, so therefore these women are popular due to their rareness.

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January 11, 2011 · 7:10 am

Escorting leads to Bisexuality?

I am a woman who loves beautiful women. I am, however, picky. I like girls who have high morals, very simple, humble, genuine, intelligent, cultured, traditional, and naturally beautiful.

Initially, women never appealed to me in a sexual way. However, once I was fully aquianted with the escort world, and once I understood how most men are  -that most men cheat on their wives and girlfriends and how sweet, kind, and educated men are the type to pay for my services - I become curious about women.

I’d say only in the past two years I’ve had a keen interest in women. Before that I never had a second thought when women came up to me at night clubs or at work (escorting) saying how sexy I was. Many women often groped my breasts in a cute, playful way…but I never thought much of it until lately. My problem now is I’m not attracted to ‘working’ girls despite how beautiful some of them were. I like traditional women, especially Khaleegy women.

The exception was a lady I met while working overseas. We became friends at work (escorting), and were often lost in hours of conversation during the ‘in-between’ periods of clients. She was nearly 10 years older than myself….and I felt, like me, she was not a typical working girl. She was educated, well-traveled, and had such an elegant demeanour. She did escorting for short periods. Then with the money earned she traveled the world to further her career in International Relations. I admired her…and had a crush, but it was not sexual. It was more of a longing for affection…

Only a month ago I had sex with a woman. I didn’t like the sex part, but I’m glad I tried it.  She was a girl who fit my particular tastes..she was exotic. She’s a lovely person, but the whole experience made me realize that my body craves for a man. I did enjoy the touching and caresses, but the actual sex part with a woman is not something I lusted for (at least yet). She really liked me, as she was a lesbian and not bi. She ended up spending the night. In the morning, she started to touch my body in sexual ways ..but it seemed strange. I wasn’t interested. Rather I missed him, my ex.

My ex-fiancee and I speak everyday, and I told him about my experience with the lady. He was angry. I always would tell him that I wanted to be with a girl, and he hated the idea. Oddly enough, the only porn he ever owned was of lesbians. I know two girls turn him on, but he said he hates the idea of sharing me with anyone. In his mind he must’ve been worried that I may leave him for a woman.

The urge to be with a woman is still there, yet it isn’t sexual per say. I sometimes feel it is there because I don’t trust men. I guess it’s more a longing to be near someone who has experience the same pain (yet of course, a man cannot understand).

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· 6:41 am

The Worst Feeling in the World..

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Escorting pays well, but it’s by far the loneliest lifestyle ever. I totally understand why most escorts, regardless how rich they are, turn to drugs, alcohol, and abusive, loser men. In my case, I was never interested in drugs or alcohol. In fact seeing so many beautiful girls turn into zombies within months was enough to scare me from taking drugs to cope with my problems. My ex became my outlet. As much as I hated him and tried pushing him away I was severely addicted to him (even when he hurt me)……..I will explain further in a bit.

I will never forget Tony’s words. Tony was a driver for escorts during my escorting ventures overseas. He was an old chap in his seventies, who had been driving girls to and from their clients for over a decade. The best part about him was that he was not sleazy at all, so most girls (including myself) felt at ease around him. When I started dating my client (my ex fiancée) I told Tony that I was in love! His first words were: “Be careful. If I were you I would NOT get involved with a client. In time he will end up calling you a whore.”

Of course, I thought Tony had no idea what he was talking about, because MY boyfriend was different. He wasn’t any typical guy……….he was a seemingly pious man who didn’t go to clubs or drink alcohol. I thought my boyfriend was better because he was quiet, loving and nurturing. But Tony was right. Only a year later, my ex called me a whore in a heated argument. For the longest time I blamed myself and kept insisting that I provoked him to call me names or to slap me across the face (or to rip off my clothes and touch me sexually).

My ex was what is known as a ‘nice guy’ and it is only now that I realized that the whole ‘nice guy’ is just a front. He was willing to do everything for me. He cooked, cleaned, bought me anything I wanted, gave me the most intense orgasms every day of our relationship, seemed unselfish, and literally did whatever I wanted. Seems perfect right? Then why was I so unhappy? I started to realize that maybe he was deeply insecure. I mean, why did he want to commit so fast? Why did he always ‘come’ inside me despite I told him to pull out? He wanted to get me pregnant. He wanted to keep me. He wanted to make sure I was always pleased. I thought he was the perfect man…until after a year I started to realize the price.

Sex was amazing between us. Being a working girl is a very strange thing because having so much sex does a strange thing to me (and other girls I’ve talk too): It makes us want sex all the time. My ex and I had sex all the time, and he was one lucky guy knowing that I wanted it. After a year, sex started to get tiring all the time…so I wasn’t always interested (yet we still did it basically everyday). His sex drive never diminished. Even if we didn’t have sex, we would still orgasm. If I wasn’t feeling sexual, he would do anything to TRY to get me aroused. He seemed to love pleasing, but then I started to question whether he wanted to see me aroused…or is he trying to lure me into sex?

Anyway, now we are apart. Last night we had a fight and I lost my mind. I abandoned my pride and went off on him….calling him every name I could in hopes he would feel miserable like me. It is ironic that I am feeling this way. As mentioned before, I kicked him out a few months ago. I forced him to buy the airline ticket so he could go back to his hometown (on the other side of the world). He called me crying from the airport. I was so relieved to be free from him.

Now it is months later, and for the first time I am crying. I cried out loud last night, because I feel so betrayed. I truly considered getting back with him in the last month. I looked at our relationship and realized that I need to change. He said he will help me change. He said I need to stop working in the sex industry. He said he will support my education. He said he will support us. BUT THEN….what about him? This is when I broke down. He never ONCE admitted his flaws. He never ONCE said it was wrong of him to call me a whore, etc. I had admitted my faults numerous times, and all he did is blame me for everything. I’m selfish, I sleep with other men, I call him names and belittle him. I admit it. He keeps saying that the whole time during our relationship he was always trying to help me and protect me (but it was me to started the fights). If he was so caring, why did he react violently?

I asked him last night, “Do you think it’s ok to assert your physical strength on a woman?” All he could say was that my ‘calling him names, anger, and mood swings’ were making me mad. He was trying to justify hitting me. It killed me. I asked him over and over if he thinks its okay to hit a woman, but he just kept coming up with excuses to justify what he did. It was not the answer I was hoping for, and it crushed my soul. I realized then, last night, that everything isn’t MY fault. My ex isn’t a saint, he is a ‘nice guy’ who is addicted to my body. One thing that never made sense to me is that why didn’t he leave me if I was so hostile to him? He continuously tells me it was my anger that started our fights, so why didn’t he leave me? Had I not called the police and have them ask him to leave me, where would we be now?

I tried breaking up with him early on in the relationship because I knew we were very different, yet he would cry and say that he has nobody. I truly felt sorry for him, which is why I could not let him go easily. And now….I love my freedom to be away from him, yet I am deeply lonely. I crave the man I love, the man who slapped me across the face….the man who spends 1 hour licking my entire body until I have the most intense orgasm on his face. It is so messed up. What sort of love is this? My hormones crave him only, and yet I know he is no longer this perfect man.

I am a desirable, beautiful woman who is paid a large sum of money for her company, and yet I feel utterly alone. There are many men I know who want to go out and spend time with me (who are genuine and nice)….but being an escort has distorted my reality. I no longer know how to act around men. I only know how to act around clients. A lot of young guys I meet at school want to go out with me, but I can’t even conceive of hanging out with them. For one, I want to trust them but escorting ruined my perception of men. Although I appear normal, friendly, and sweet I am deeply ruined and emotional inside. This keeps me from being near others who want to be near me.

*I like how Amber describes the reality of being a high-class Escort. It’s basically spot-on on on how it is:

Being an escort is a very lonely way to live.

Surronded by men, but no one who really knows you. Noone who really cares about you.

Escorts lose their family and friends. We either shock them into leaving us if they find out, or we get caught up in our world of secrets and lies that we slowly block people out, until we realize we are alone. Maybe not physically, but alone.

We cant tell anyone what we do for work. We cant talk about our day, our clients. We cant share the funny or scarey stories with anyone. We cant sit down with our families and talk about how this all makes us feel.

We end up isolated, and there may be people around us, but it is different now because we cant open ourselves up to them anymore. We cant be ourselves, because we are doing something that noone wants to talk about. We cant be ourselves with our clients either. We have to perform a job, and that job is to be sweet and sexy and completely focused on him. Noone wants an angry escort, or one crying because her boyfriend beat her up.

Even after leaving the business, they are our secrets to keep. Our memories, our stories, that we cant share with people we care about.

Its loneliness. It makes you guarded, and cautious. Normal conversations, normal get togethers, become tricky. Lying gets hard, and always having to hide the truth is harder.

I get so many emails from those who have worked, just to tell me a story, just to get something off their chest and feel the relief of having been able to talk to someone. I love that they can write to me. And it breaks my heart because I know how hard it is to live that way.

(View her blog :
http://beinganescort.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-08-11T11:35:00-07:00&max-results=3

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January 5, 2011 · 6:52 am

Rich and Broken-Hearted

December was a good month. Now it is the New Year 2011. The money was made (and a generous portion of it spent!) and I feel empty again.

After periods of breaks I started working independently as an escort last month. My rates were slightly higher than the going rate for high-class companionship. My phone rang continuously after minimal advertising and continues to ring. I felt very thankful, because I was not sure what to expect. My rates were high, and my service was safe. In the escorting world most girls who want to charge high rates have to include more ‘extras’ apart from just sex with a condom…..which I simply refuse to do. So I feel thankful. I had a handful of clients that I didn’t even have to sleep with. This is where escorting becomes addictive: when I have clients who pay lots of money for a quick and easy session (ex: minimal work for me).

Yet I sit here. Depressed. Lonely. Full of doubt and uncertainty.

I have been a high class prostitute for nearly five years now. I started in my late teens and now am in my early-mid twenties.

My ex-fiancee brought up a great point in a conversation the other day: “I have made a lot of money and it never made me happy.” This is also true for myself. In the five years I’ve been in the sex industry I have made quite a bit of money, traveled the world, owned most of the material possessions I’ve wanted (except the big one, purchasing a home)…and yet I’ve never been satisfied. And even worse, I have saved nothing. Money that comes easy goes very easily. The old cliché is something I truly believe: more money, more problems.

This blog is about the reality of getting into ‘high-class’ prostitution. I used quotations because the reality is it’s all a facade. The elegance and glamor of it really comes down to SEX — which in itself is only spectacular when with someone you love (for me at least). I will hopefully get to talk about things from ‘The Girlfriend Experience’ to the types of clients I encounter. I will also mention great books or films I watch that depict the lives/memoirs of other working girls.

Last time I re-read the last few chapters of a book called, “Disgraced” by Saira Ahmed. It’s about a Pakistani-Muslim girl who became a high-class escort. In the last few chapters she discusses her entering and leaving of the escort business. A few times her recollections have brought me to tears when she speaks about how it changed her view of men and her relationships. It reminded me of my ex and I. I still love him. I left him a few months ago….on my own selfish whim.

Being with him for 2.5 years made me realize that I have a serious addiction. I do not drink or take drugs. But I have a serious addiction to escorting. It may seem silly to say that but the reality is I cannot quit the industry. Most working girls will understand what I am talking about, because many of them have also tried to leave only to find themselves coming back after ‘breaks.’

I have tried leaving the industry three times now. The last time I tried to leave is because I met the man of my dreams. However, he was a former client of mine….which only later in the relationship I realized how it wasn’t such a good idea to be with a man who knows what I did for a living once.

I remember how we met. I was living overseas in a new country and big city. At first I established myself with a new job that was what us girls call a ‘straight job’ (meaning it wasn’t in the sex industry).  It was in retail. I worked full-time for eight hours each day and made petty money. It didn’t matter because it was just part of the experience of living in a new country for a while. Part of the reason I moved overseas was to stop working in the industry and change my lifestyle and habits. I was trying to be less materialistic and more humble. I was using escorting to fuel my consumer habits that were leaving me feeling empty and shallow.

Anyway, the retail job overseas only lasted a month until my addiction tapped up on me.  I was working so hard, but kept reminding myself that a whole week’s worth of wages is something I could make in 1 hour. Why was I slaving myself for petty pay when I could be paid to essentially get pleasure? That’s what I told myself. Indeed there were many clients I encountered who literally paid me to seek out my pleasure, but it wasn’t always that way. There’s the good, and then there is the average. Most of the men are decent looking and polite. Over the last five years I can only recall maybe 2 or 3 clients that were problematic, but nothing life threatening. Again, I am thankful that I haven’t encountered a dangerous client yet, because I know there a predators out there.

Back to my venture overseas. I ended up going back to the industry. I looked at the local papers and saw hundreds of advertising for escorts, brothels, and massage parlors. I was in a country where prostitution was legal. I wasn’t keen on escorting (going to a client’s hotel), so I decided to try a high-end brothel establishment. I called up one that was located in a posh area, and the following Saturday I ended up working. I made a lot of money that night, and ended up working until the early morning. The following shifts followed the same pattern. I felt great again. Whenever I got back to the industry I felt like I was on top of the world, because the money seemed endless and my ego was inflated. Only two months after going back to the industry in this new wonderous country I met my boyfriend (fiancee).

I remember the night vividly. I wasn’t even supposed to work that night, but I came into work. Before I even got dressed in my lingerie the receptionist asked me if I wanted to meet a client in the waiting room. She told me that I was exactly his type: busty and very attractive. So I went to say hi to him in my normal clothes and he chose me instantly. At first he booked for one hour, which later turned into a 3 hour booking. During those hours sex didn’t seem like it was his main reason for coming to see a girl. I could tell he was lonely. He told me about his life: he works all the time, Muslim, alone, doesn’t drink, doesn’t go out too much. Yet we had so much to talk about. I felt very comfortable with him. The fact he wasn’t touching me, or making a grab for my breasts (like most men do) made me feel I could trust him. I was quite horny that night, and because he was so polite I wanted to give him my body. I allowed him to go down on me, and I even crossed my limited and kissed him passionately. We had sex at the end that was quick. He asked for my number. I told him I don’t go out with clients outside of work, but I still gave him my number. Many men ask to take me out, and a few times in the past I had gone with them only to regret it later. But for some reason I trusted him.

I told him I was craving a specific ethnic cuisine, so on our first meeting he took me to the fanciest restaurant in the city. He was very respectful and polite. He bombarded me with gifts that night. I did not know how to react. My mind always assumed anyone giving me something always had a catch. But he said he didn’t expect anything. I had already set me mind that I would not have sex with a client for free. If he were to try to touch me or act sexual I would leave immediately. But that did not happen. The fact that he did not touch me or make a move drove my hormones wild. Instead I gave him a small kiss. We ended up kissing for hours. Even after kissing he still respectfully kept his hands off my body. It drove me insane, because I had never encountered a man who didn’t proceed to touch me. Finally I motioned him to do something (anything) to my deeply aroused body. So he decided we lay in his bed and cuddle. He kissed my entire body for another 2 hours, teasing me respectfully and being careful not to touch my private areas. This made me even more hot, yet I was shy to say anything.  Then he kissed my thighs and slowly started to kiss me down there. He did it for over an hour, teasing me and breaking my climaxes. I had the most intense orgasm and he loved it.

After that, he still continued to amaze me. After I had orgasm, he just laid back and cuddled me. I thought he would have expected something in return, but he didn’t. He was humble and said he enjoyed giving me pleasure. That made me want to give him pleasure too. We made love that night.

After that first date, I thought of him as a great person and new friend. I did not want to date him and didn’t even think about it. We continued seeing each other and he eventually asked me, “So are you my girlfriend?” I wasn’t sure what to say because I had not even considered it. I said yes…hesitantly.  We stayed together from then on and he continued to give me the best orgasms every day of our relationship. 2.5  years later we moved across the world together, engaged, and now are living on opposite sides of the world. I left him. The police helped me make him leave.

And now I love him. And now I need him. I chose my independence over him. In particular, I chose escorting over him. I have all that I want, and I’m unhappy.

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